


Nesert II

by MLily727



Series: Nesert [2]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Seasons 5-9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 92,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25975921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLily727/pseuds/MLily727
Summary: "Nes needed a moment as herself again and she sank down against the wall, letting the coolness of the stone seep into her cheek and remind her of what she needed to do." Continuing story of Nesert, overlapping with SG-1 Seasons 5-9. Original character story intertwining with series without disrupting canon. Completed and currently editing, posting several chapters a week.
Relationships: Ba'al/Original Character, Kevin Elliot/Original Character
Series: Nesert [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855279
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Nes came out on the other side of the wormhole and immediately found herself surrounded by jaffa, though she’d expected as much. They all bore the mark of Lord Yu and she was relieved she hadn’t dialed in the wrong address as she’d hurried to escape Revanna. She flashed her eyes at the guards and addressed the closest one in her goa’uld voice.

“Inform your master that Lord Sekhmet has come to pay him a visit.”

The jaffa looked suspicious, but turned quickly to send a messenger up to the palace before he ordered for the pair to be searched. Nothing was found, other than the zat’nik’tel she willingly handed over, so she was told to follow him, the other guards falling in around her to ensure she did as she was told.

Brought in front of Lord Yu, she gently placed Elliot on the ground, the sweat pouring off of her from the effort of carrying him so far. The goa’uld on his throne looked in perfect health and she imagined he only recently emerged from his sarcophagus if the damage had been as extensive as Daniel had described. She sank to her knees then and bowed her head low to the ground.

“Lord Yu-huang Shang Ti, it has been long since we have met.” She sat back up on her knees, but kept her hands crossed in front of her and her head bowed.

“Why have you come here, Sekhmet?”

She raised her head and let Sekhmet’s smirk spread across her face. “My lord, word has traveled fast of the return of Anubis and that you were the only System Lord with the courage and wisdom to reject his petition to join the Council.” She bowed her head again. “I have come to pledge my allegiance to you.”

“And how do I know I can trust you?”

She smiled. “We all know that none of us can be truly trusted, but I can assure you that I will serve you as you fight against Anubis.”

“And what is that?” Yu gestured to Elliot’s body.

“My servant, A’yal, my lord. He took a host from the Tau’ri and I believe he gathered intelligence about them as well as the Tok’ra.  _ Specifically  _ about a new chemical weapon: a poison that kills symbiotes. Of course, he is not particularly forthcoming with that information in his current state.”

“Interesting. I imagine that would be of great interest to you as a She’ket.”

She shrugged innocently, her palms towards the goa’uld. “Perhaps. But regardless of my personal interest, it could prove to be a devastating blow to our race as a whole, not to mention the effect it would have on our dependence on the jaffa slaves.”

“I will allow you to revive him and we will see what information he possesses.”

He nodded to his First Prime who knelt down to pick up Elliot’s body and Nes stood, offering another bow.

“I will have a guard escort you to your rooms.”

“I would stay with my servant until he is revived, my lord.”

Lord Yu did not like being defied, but a quick nod meant he would allow her request and she followed behind the First Prime, breathing deep as she tried to calm herself.

Elliot was placed in the sarcophagus; it took very little time to heal his injuries, despite their severity. She paced in a typical impatient goa’uld manner and was short with the servant girl who offered her tea and asked for her preferences on clothing.

When the sarcophagus began to open, she rushed forward to peer inside. Elliot’s skin was no longer pale, but looked healthy and tan and pink. His breathing was calm and even and she couldn’t resist reaching out to touch his arm, pleased to find warmth where there had recently only been the cold of death. His eyes began to flutter open and she waited until he focused on her before she spoke. “A’yal, you are blessed to be returned to the service of your goddess, Sekhmet.”

Lantash flashed Elliot’s eyes. “You honor me greatly, my queen.” He sat up and began to climb out of the device as Nes stepped aside to allow him to find space on the floor.

Lantash looked around the room and it was apparent he knew where they were.

Her voice grabbed his attention again. “Lord Yu has accepted my pledge of allegiance in the fight against Anubis. We will share with him the knowledge you have gained from this new Tau’ri host.”

Lantash stiffened Elliot’s jaw, but he bowed his head toward her. “Yes, my Lord Sekhmet.”

She extended a hand to his chest and let it trail across him as she circled, inspecting his form. “I am very pleased in your selection of host, A’yal.” She stepped in front of him again and let her hand caress his cheek. “I will be anxious to see it in its entirety.”

Lantash shifted Elliot’s face to a very goa’uld type smirk. “The sarcophagus  _ has _ returned me to my full strength.”

Nes was surprised how her stomach flipped at his expression and had to remind herself that it was not Elliot and Lantash was merely playing a role. Still, she let the hunger she felt show on her face for the sake of the First Prime’s watchful eye.

A servant entered and asked them to follow him to their rooms. “Please bring my servant’s attire to my quarters.” She did not explain further and there was only a slight pause in the man’s practiced routine.

“Of course, Lord Sekhmet.” He led them down several halls before stopping in front of an ornate door flanked by guards. The room was a rather lovely blend of ancient Chinese craftsmanship and Goa’uld design. There was a large decorated bed on a platform to their left and to the right, a group of chairs and doors leading to a closet and bath. The windows showed only sky and mountains, but she knew the surrounding village was far below them, the palace being placed on a plateau.

“I have selected what I hope are suitable clothing for you and your servant, Lord Sekhmet. Would you like a servant girl to assist you in getting dressed? My master has requested your presence at his evening meal.” He turned to look at Elliot and then back to Nes. “ _ Only _ your presence.”

She smiled graciously at the young man. “Yes, I would appreciate help with dressing and my hair. When does my lord take his meal?”

“Not for another three hours.”

“Very well, I will bathe and she may come in one--” she glanced over to Elliot who bore a goa’uld smirk again, sending her heart into a race against itself “--two hours to assist me.”

“Yes, Lord Sekhmet. Please simply alert the guards if you require anything else.” He bowed low and then left the new guests in their room.

Lantash wasted no time in shifting from smirk to anger. “How dare you place me in a sarcophagus! You know the Tok’ra do not use the device. And what information will you trade away for our lives?”

Nes maintained her own distorted voice in addressing the Tok’ra. “I did not care one bit what you would think of it. And I have already informed Lord Yu that you may have obtained information on a new Tok’ra weapon.”

Lantash looked ready to slap her and she briefly wondered if Lt Elliot was holding him back. “The symbiote poison? That is our most guarded secret.”

“Well, you’re terrible with secrets, then. Zipacna clearly knew of its existence, which means it was going to be known by the entire galaxy before long. We might as well use it to our advantage while we can.” She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm roughly.

“You were foolish to risk all of this to save him.”

Nes flashed her eyes at him. “Maybe so, but I was not going to let him die.”

“Or perhaps you simply wanted an excuse to return to your play acting of Sekhmet.”

“If that were the case, I would have brought you here as a Tok’ra spy and tortured you in front of Lord Yu.” She leaned towards him. “I would have had the entire palace cowering in fear as they heard your screams. No one would have doubted I was Sekhmet.”

“Like you did as Apophis’ traitorous queen?”

Nes stepped back at the accusation, momentarily struck with a guilty silence. “And the Tok’ra have never committed atrocities to maintain their deceptions?”

“We had goals beyond our own survival.” His eyes roamed over her in disgust. “You enjoyed the pain you caused.”

She flashed her eyes again and Sekhmet’s smirk appeared. “I still do. You do not come away intact after time with a goa’uld like Sekhmet.”

He bowed his head and Elliot’s eyes were wide when he looked back up. “Nes…”

Lantash had made her forget Elliot could hear her words, but it didn’t matter. It was better for him to see her for what she was.

“You’ve changed, though. Lantash doesn’t know who you are now.”

She could have pretended. She could have told him what he wanted to hear, that she was healthy and whole and changed, but it would be easier to do everything that was necessary if he despised her.

She pushed her shoulders further back and held his gaze without blinking, but returned to her human voice. “I killed five people while at Princeton, Elliot.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “No. Dr. Frasier gave you some meds. You fought it.”

“I lied. They didn’t work.”

“No...Nes, you aren’t that person anymore.”

“Every few months, I would disappear to one of Sekhmet’s houses, head to a bar, find a poor fool who couldn’t keep his hands off me, and then torture him to death.” She smiled sweetly as she looked down at the lion she wore again. “And then I’d take a nice nap and lay out by the pool with wine and a good book while his body burned in the furnace.” She shrugged. “Except for the one I killed on a boat. I let the ocean have him.”

Elliot swallowed hard, trying to decide if he should trust her words or his earlier instincts. Truth be told, when they met, she  _ was _ different. The torture she’d endured had muted those parts of her and she felt disgust as she related the things she’d done, but again, she needed him to leave when she told him to go. She had to remember that her goal here was to save him. She had saved him from death, yes, but now she needed to save him from Lord Yu’s grasp, and he would never go if she let him care.

It was always the same. Helping or caring. Caring or helping.

She wouldn’t be able to save herself, of course. She’d have to stay. She’d have to be Sekhmet for him. And if they ever met again, there would likely be nothing left of Nes, anyway.

She crossed her arms and looked him over. “Now, we’re going to maintain this facade. Go clean yourself up, but don’t bother getting dressed.”

His eyebrows went up in surprise first, but his face shifted to disgust quickly.

“Calm down, darling.” It was too easy to become Sekhmet so fully. “It will merely help the illusion if you are in my bed when the servant girl arrives.” She stepped toward him and let her hand pat his cheek. “I’d like it to be clear to Lord Yu that I am in no need of a new lover. I’ve fought off too many System Lords to want to endure that again.”

Elliot didn’t move and the pleading on his face almost broke the mask she’d put on. She turned away before it began to crack, walking over to the windows to inspect the view. She finally heard him walk towards the bath and shut the door.

Nes needed a moment as herself again and she sank down against the wall, letting the coolness of the stone seep into her cheek and remind her of what she needed to do. She let herself think of the Elliot who had smiled at her on that restaurant patio on such a cold night. She thought of how his ears had turned red when she’d explained Nathan was her brother. She saw his little wink when they spoke in the Tok’ra tunnels and remembered how it’d felt when he squeezed her hand to offer comfort. She thought of his arm wrapped tightly around her as he tried to protect her during the bombardment and how her heart had beat so hard with his closeness.

And then she pushed all of it into a small box and placed it gently in the tiny space she’d lived in when Sekhmet had been the primary resident. She had a lot of boxes stacking up in there. Memories she couldn’t deal with or hopes that would prevent her from doing the necessary things in her life. She shut the door and locked it again, exhausted with the effort.

Nes awoke to Elliot gently gathering her up into his arms.

“I must have fallen asleep,” she murmured, still climbing out of dreams.

“I don’t buy it, ya know.”

“Buy what?”

“That you’re the monster you say you are.”

She tightened her jaw.

“You wouldn’t have risked your life to save mine if you were.”

“Maybe Lantash is right. I just wanted to be Sekhmet again.” She should have known he would choose his instincts regardless of what she said.

“I saw your face when you knew the Tok’ra would ask that of you again.” He started to set her down on the bed and she jumped down from his arms to the ground.

“I’m all dirty.”

She pushed away from him and walked quickly to the bath, slamming the door behind her. She leaned against the wall for a moment, mentally trying to shove the tumbling boxes back into the closet. She’d locked it. The door shouldn’t have swung open with just that simple nudge from Elliot, but it had and now she had to deal with the mess that poured out.

She took much longer bathing than was necessary, but she wanted as little time as possible alone with Elliot. Though with that thought, she realized they’d never truly be alone again, not with Lantash always watching and listening. She hated that thought, her privacy already stolen from her in so many ways.

She was relieved when she finally entered the other room, a flowered silk dressing gown wrapped around her, to find him asleep. She watched his rhythmic breathing for a few minutes.

She’d never understood people who thought death and sleep looked the same. They were nothing alike. In death, Elliot had been cold and empty, just a vessel that repelled the living, but here in sleep, the calm spread through the rest of the room and her body relaxed into its invitation to join him in peace and dreams.

A knock on the door signalled her need to hand her body back over to Sekhmet’s personality and she quietly moved to open it. A young girl was standing next to the guards, looking equal parts terrified and scared out of her mind. Nes motioned for her to enter, but also put a finger to her lips to silence her, not that it was required. She doubted the girl would utter more than a handful of words in her presence.

As they moved into the room, the servant girl saw Elliot asleep and her cheeks tinted pink. Nes perhaps should have pulled the blanket up around his bare chest, but she hadn’t wanted to wake him and she did like the picture he made, sprawled across the bed, head sunk into a pillow, the blanket low on his waist.

She wondered with a smile if he moved much in his sleep.

Elliot continued to sleep as the girl helped Nes get ready. Out of the clothing provided, she chose a black and gold dress with a high collar and her hair was done simply with a variety of matching combs. The end result transformed her completely from the green pants, black shirt, and ponytail she’d arrived in. She was again a goddess, a thing to be worshipped.

“You look stunning.” Lantash’s voice drifted over from the bed as she looked herself over in the mirror.

She smiled as she approached him, noting the servant girl’s sudden tension as she likely wondered if she should leave. He had propped himself up against the headboard and Nes took Elliot’s extended hand. “I know.”

He returned her smile and then brought her hand to his lips. “How long will you be gone?”

“Not long.” She turned her head to the girl who was slowly making her way to the door. “Would you have a meal brought to the room for my servant?”

The girl stopped and bowed. “Of course, Lord Sekhmet.”

“And send a male servant.”

Lantash didn’t miss a beat. “You know I only have eyes for you, my queen.”

“Yes, or remember, you will have no eyes at all.” She patted his cheek.

Lantash grimaced slightly. “I remember. I would rather not repeat that.”

“The servant girl did not seem to enjoy it either. Her screams were particularly high pitched and she killed herself later, did she not?”

“I believe so, but you were merciful to her.”

“I was.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Eat and rest, A’yal.”

He kissed her hand once more and she stepped down off the platform, giving the servant girl a very pointed stare and enjoying her response of horror. The girl finally recovered enough to bow again and then escorted Nes to Lord Yu’s dining room.

Nes bowed to the goa’uld as she entered and took a seat opposite him at the table.

“I have always appreciated how your hosts look in the clothing worn in my palace, Sekhmet.”

“Thank you, my lord. It has been far too long since I have worn anything quite so beautiful.”

“Have you learned anything from your servant?” He took a sip of his drink and kept his voice casual, but Nes could hear the command in his tone.

“I am afraid he was only just waking when I left.”

“Only just waking? This time of day?”

“Well, he did die earlier today and then...I am afraid he may have...overexerted himself this afternoon.” She slowly drank from her own glass and kept even a hint of a smile off her face.

Yu made a gruff sort of sound, likely out of annoyance. No doubt ears and eyes in the palace had already informed him of the relationship between his two guests.

“I assure you, my lord, I will speak with him more thoroughly tomorrow, but I did learn the location of the Tok’ra resistance.” That perked up the goa’uld’s attention. “Unfortunately, it has already been discovered by Zipacna and destroyed.”

“Destroyed? Osiris said Anubis was destroying the Tok’ra. I took it for a bluff.”

“It does not appear so. A’yal mentioned that it is also said that the Tok’ra released the poison on Zipacna’s jaffa and killed many of them. If we cannot obtain the formula directly, perhaps a journey to Revanna to obtain one of the dead jaffa will reveal what we wish to know.”

“Revanna? That would not be too long of a journey.”

“My lord, once I have thoroughly questioned A’yal, I would send him through the gate to summon my small fleet of ships to join me here in your service.”

“You would remain here?” His face was full of suspicion.

“Of course, Lord Yu, though you need not worry about an attack. My fleet is far too small to challenge yours. I only obtained a small portion of Heru’ur’s ships and jaffa before I was captured by Apophis.”

“And then no one heard anything of you until now. I assumed you were dead.”

“I was slowly trying to gather the jaffa who were loyal to me in the past.”

Yu rubbed his chin, letting his fingers glide down his beard. “Very well. When your ships arrive then we will set out for Revanna.”

Nes bowed her head, glad that that conversation had gone well. The rest of the meal was spent discussing the state of the galaxy, the return of Anubis, and the various other System Lords. When Nes had finished eating and the discussion lulled for a moment, she asked to take her leave, declaring the day to have been a long and exhausting one, but thanking him for the excellent meal. She was relieved that she was allowed to leave in peace and followed the escort and guards back to her room.

Elliot was sitting in one of the chairs, wearing a black and red robe. It looked far too formal on the lieutenant and she couldn’t hold back a tiny smile at how different he looked from that morning. That thought, however, didn’t maintain the smile and sadness soon covered her face.

“Dinner go well?” It was Elliot who spoke and there was concern in his voice.

“Yes.” She wouldn’t inform him that she would be sending him away until the last moment. She didn’t want to give him any time to plan around her. “The servant girl will be here in a moment to assist me in undressing.”

“I could have easily helped...or is it still too soon for that?”

Elliot gave her a sly smile, but Nes wasn’t sure how to respond. She wanted nothing more than to return his playfulness, but it would make her task tomorrow all the harder. Her body felt too heavy to continue on and she walked past Elliot toward the bath.

“Tell the girl I took care of myself.” She shut the door weakly.

The dress was much harder to get out of than it had been to get into, but she absolutely refused to ask Elliot for any help. She left the torn dress in a pile on the floor along with the combs and jewelry she’d been adorned with. The servants could sort it out tomorrow. She wrapped herself in the dressing gown again and slowly opened the door to the main room. As she had hoped, Elliot appeared to be asleep in the far side of the bed and she made her way to the closer side of the platform quietly.

“I’m not asleep.”

Nes tripped on the platform and hit the bed with her knee, letting a string of curses stream out.

“Lantash understood most of those.” His voice held a hint of amusement and wonder.

“Why are you still awake?” She sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed her knee.

“I took a nap earlier. And before that I was dead. Lots of energy now.”

“Well not me. I had to carry your heavy body too far even for me. My shoulder isn’t very happy about it.” She sat up straighter as Elliot scooted across the bed and put his hands on her shoulders.

“Which one?”

She shrugged him off. “Neither one.”

“Fine, I’ll do both.” And he put his hands on her shoulders again and gently let his thumbs rub circles into the tight muscles. “Are your shoulders always this tense?”

“I don’t know. Probably.”

She again shrugged off his hands and stood, stepping down off the platform and turning to face him. He was wearing loose pants gathered at the waist, but no shirt, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from examining him as he sat there. His own smirk formed as she stared, though, and her exasperation returned.

“Can we just sleep?”

“Of course. I wasn’t trying to seduce you, Nes.”

She raised her eyebrows and he brought his hands up innocently.

“You risked your life to save mine today. I’m grateful.”

“Lantash doesn’t seem grateful.”

“He’s coming around.”

“I don’t  _ need _ him to come around.”

Elliot brought his legs over the side of the bed and stepped onto the platform, now towering over her with the extra height of the floor. He stepped down and she retreated back a few steps.

“Nes, it’s still  _ me _ . Still the guy that got jealous when he saw you hug your brother. Still the guy that planned to ask you out when we got back from the mission.”

Nes laughed. “You don’t get to be the same person once you’re a host. I’m certainly not Tessa anymore. She’s dead and gone. So is Kevin Elliot. We get to be Frankenstein’s monsters, dead things put together into some semblance of humanity.”

Elliot bowed his head, but when he looked back up, he was still himself.

“Am I upsetting the parasite?”

His eyes flashed as Lantash took over. “I am  _ not _ a goa’uld. I am not like Sekhmet.” He took a deep breath. “I was trying to save him. Same as you.”

“No, you were trying to save yourself. You’ve killed him.” She sneered at the Tok’ra. “If there had been a way to revive him and not you, I would have done it.”

His head bowed again and Elliot returned. “Nes, it’s not like that. I feel like me still. It’s weird, I’ll admit that, but it’s not like what Sekhmet did to you.” He put his hands on her arms. “Please. I need your help to deal with this.” He pulled her into a hug. “It’s been kind of a rough day.”

She kept her body frozen, not feeling his arms, not allowing them to touch her, but human contact is so pervasive. It melts, it thaws, it drills down through the ice and pours itself into your core. Nes felt her muscles start to shift to meet with his, letting her body soften into his arms. She began to call up Sekhmet to deal with her weakness, but Elliot raised a hand to stroke her hair gently.

“Thank you.”

Nes didn’t like people thanking her. It seemed wrong after everything she’d done and her body began to freeze again against the gratitude that shouldn’t be hers. “I’m tired.”

Elliot released her and stepped back. “I suppose it’s been a long day for you, too. Longer, actually.” He took her hand and led her back up to the bed, pulling back the covers, and then tucking them around her after she’d climbed in. The bed was soft and her body didn’t resist melting into it like it had with Elliot’s arms. She felt the mattress move slightly as he climbed in on the other side, but that was the last thing she remembered, finally unable to keep her eyes open.


	2. Chapter 2

Nes was back on Revanna, lifeless jaffa surrounding her, but their hands wouldn’t stay dead. They kept grabbing at her, fingers twisting around her ankles and legs as she hunted for something. She couldn’t remember what, but it was important.

Elliot.

She had to find him. She had to save him. The hands kept pulling on her as she crossed the field, her eyes searching.

And then she saw him.

His sunken eyes stared up at the sky, flashing periodically, but then she could hear his rapid breathing and it got louder as Revanna began to fade away.

Her eyes opened to the dim room she’d fallen asleep in, but the loud breathing didn’t fade as the rest of the dream had and she realized Elliot was sitting up next to her. She fought off the fog of sleep and put a hand on his back as she pulled herself over next to him.

“I died today, Nes.” His breathing got worse and his hands rubbed his eyes harder and harder.

“Elliot,” she kept her voice soothing, “ask Lantash to take over. He’ll be able to calm your body quickly.”

He looked at her in surprise and she knew it sounded odd after she’d made her disgust for the Tok’ra apparent, but he bowed his head slowly and when it lifted, his eyes flashed and his breathing began to slow. Nes rubbed his back, knowing it was Lantash in control, but that Elliot would still be able to feel it. His head bowed again and Elliot took a deep slow breath.

“Better?” she asked and he nodded. “Sekhmet was always very good at calming me.” She let her hand slide up to the nape of his neck, her fingers moving through the short soft hair. “Come over here.” She twisted to gather up the various pillows and stack them up against the headboard, scooting herself against them and then guiding Elliot’s head down onto her shoulder. “Lantash going back to sleep?”

“Yes. He worked hard today trying to save me. He feels guilty for failing.”

“He didn’t fail. You two saved the rest of us.” She looked down at him and let her hand run through his hair, hoping to lull him back to sleep as well.

It had the opposite effect.

Elliot turned to prop himself up on his elbow, bringing his other hand up to her face. Nes held her breath, knowing she should stop him, but couldn’t find enough resistance in her groggy state. He leaned down and kissed her, letting his hand move from her face to her shoulder to her waist, reaching underneath to her back and pulling her upwards to him. Her lips and body responded more desperately than she would have anticipated, all self control gone with exhaustion and the trauma of loss and death.

Elliot shifted his body to cover hers and his hand reached inside her dressing robe searching out her body underneath. Nes snapped awake, breathlessly telling him to stop. She wasn’t going to do this and then send him off the next day. Right now she could still pretend that there was nothing between them beyond some light attraction, but if this went on, it would be harder to separate herself from him. She’d already been damaged by too much loss in her life. She wouldn’t intentionally create more.

And she wouldn’t share these moments with Lantash any more than she’d wanted to share them with Sekhmet.

Elliot rolled off her and stared at the ceiling, breathing hard again. “I didn’t mean to get so carried away, Nes. I’m sorry.”

“I just can’t, Elliot. I meant what I said before...back on Revanna. Someone like you would never be able to tolerate the things I’ve done.”

“I just don’t know how to reconcile this version of you with the things Lantash has shared...with the things you say you’ve done.” He rolled onto his side to face her. “How could you have killed five people while at Princeton, Nes?”

Nes pushed herself back up to sitting and brought her knees to her chest.

“When Sekhmet first took me as her host, she told me I was her latest ‘whim of an experiment.’ She knew the Tok’ra shared the body and she wanted a companion.”

“You shared control?” Elliot tried to keep the horror out of his voice, but Nes could still hear it around the edges of his words.

“No. Not at first. She interacted with me, but she wanted me to be like her. That’s why she started killing like she did. It was to torture  _ me _ , but I couldn’t handle it. I just shut down, stopped talking with her, stopped seeing or hearing. She was so angry.”

Nes took a deep breath as she thought back with a small smile. “Then I saw Sean. He was one of the detectives working on some of the murders and...I liked him. I couldn’t hide it from Sekhmet, either. So she put on my personality like a costume and started seeing him. She then offered me occasional control if I would behave. I  _ knew _ she had other plans. I  _ knew _ it would only lead to hurt, but I...I couldn’t resist. And I couldn’t help but care for him.”

Nes could feel the color draining from her face as she relived the memories.

“What happened, Nes?”

She covered her face in shame. “She tortured him until I agreed to kill him.”

She heard Elliot gasp.

“And then...Elliot, I couldn’t even feel horror at what I’d done. Sekhmet filled my body with such intense--” she sucked in a rapid breath as her body remembered. “She made me enjoy it.”

Elliot sat in shock for a moment, but Nes realized she wanted him to know these things about her, things she hadn’t shared with anyone yet.

“Sean blamed me for not warning him. I tried telling myself there was nothing I could have done, but the truth is...I was a coward.” She swallowed hard. “I was so scared of what Sekhmet would do to me.”

Elliot squeezed her hand. “Nes...you really couldn’t have done anything.”

She shook off his hand. “You can’t know that! I didn’t fight! I didn’t resist! I just cowered in my corner.” She took another deep breath and lifted her chin. “After that, I decided to give Sekhmet what she wanted. I thought if I could get her to trust me, I’d maybe be able to get us killed or caught.” She hung her head again and lowered her voice. “Sekhmet wasn’t The Butcher. We both were. I tried to at least direct her to men the world would be better off without, but I helped torture them. I killed a lot of them.” She put her face in her hands as she admitted her sins. “And I enjoyed all of it. Sekhmet made sure of it.”

Elliot was still taking it in, but she kept going while she could. “At night while she slept, I worked on controlling my body again. It took me nearly a year just to move my finger, but as she gave me more time in control during the day, I progressed more at night. I had to wait for the right moment, though. That was Boston. I held on just long enough to get us captured. I’d hoped to get us killed, but no one would help me.”

When Elliot still didn’t speak, she plunged forward again. “After Sekhmet...was gone, I realized quickly that her need for killing was one of the things she’d left behind. I had to leave the SGC before I killed someone there. Plus Sekhmet had wanted revenge on the System Lords and I’d hoped that if I finished that...I’d be free.” It sounded so pathetic when she laid it out like that.

“When I was posing as Sekhmet, it was easy to find victims, but I worked hard to stretch the time in between kills a few days each time. I couldn’t stop, though. I kept trying, but I needed it too much.”

She was crying now, but she needed to finish. “The medications Dr. Frasier tried didn’t work, but I was scared they’d lock me up if they knew. Once out at Princeton, it was easy to slip away and find someone to kill every few months.”

She hugged her knees tighter. “But then Hailey and I got kidnapped by Dr. Keffler and that was the worst I’ve ever been tortured besides what Sekhmet did to me. It took me so long to recover without Sekhmet’s help and then the thought of screams and death didn’t have the same appeal anymore.”

“And I met you soon after that.”

Nes nodded. ‘I haven’t killed anyone since then. You said I’m different now. I might be, but I don’t know how long it will last.” She tilted her head and laid her cheek on her knee to look at him.

“Which is why you were so scared of being asked to be Sekhmet again.”

Nes nodded and his face softened.

“But you became Sekhmet again here...for me.”

“Men like you shouldn’t die while people like me go on with our lives. I just...I couldn’t let you die when I knew I might be able to save you like this.”

Elliot pulled her into his arms then. “Well, you don’t have to worry about becoming Sekhmet again. I’ll help you remember who you are. We’re in this together.”

She was glad he couldn’t see her face, as the tears streamed down her cheeks and an emptiness filled her.

“I’m glad you shared all of that with me, Nes.”

“Me, too,” she whispered. And in this moment, she meant it, but too soon tomorrow she’d regret it. Too soon she’d have to watch him go through the Stargate, likely never seeing him again.

Elliot tipped her chin up and kissed her gently. “I think you better get some sleep. I promise to behave the rest of the night.”

She switched to playfulness to cover the sadness. “But not in the morning?” she teased.

He chuckled and gave her a scheming grin. “I promise nothing.”

******

In the morning, Nes woke in Elliot’s arms as he began to stir. He hugged her tighter to his chest, kissing her forehead.

“I could get used to this. I like waking up next to you.”

Nes was glad she’d already told Lord Yu her plan or she most certainly would have altered it, just to keep him here even a few days longer. She maintained the lighthearted mood they’d fallen asleep with, though. “Please. You just like kissing me.”

“That is very true. I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you.”

“When I was trying to kill you?” She smiled at his exaggeration.

“Of course. Why do you think my first shot missed?”

Nes let out a loud laugh. “It disturbs me that you’re so easily distracted in a combat situation.”

“I got you with the second shot.”

“I let you get me.”

“You didn’t let me.” He puffed his chest up in confidence.

“You’ll have to test out your new strength and speed with Lantash. You’ll realize quickly I’m not lying.” She pushed out of his arms, sitting up, and then poked his chest to deflate it as he groaned dramatically. “Time to get up.”

“No.” And he wrapped his arms around her again, imprisoning her on the bed. “Now who’s the stronger one?” he teased.

“No, we have to get up. I’m supposed to be interrogating you this morning.”

“Go ahead. You can buy answers from me, but be warned, I charge high prices.” He nuzzled her neck as she squirmed to get away. “Why aren’t you asking any questions, Nes? You’re not very good at this interrogating thing.” His hands joined the tickling and soon she was breathless from laughing.

Elliot stopped finally, but pinned her to the bed with his body. “I wouldn’t have thought The Butcher was so ticklish.”

“If only all of my victims had known, right? They could have easily escaped.”

He smiled and then gave her a wink. “And while this is yet another position I wouldn’t mind revisiting with you later, I’m hungry.” He gave her a quick peck before getting up and putting on his robe. Over by the door, Nes heard Lantash ask the guard to inform a servant that they were awake and would like breakfast. It was getting hard to remember Lantash was still there when she was with Elliot, and she wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

Inconsequential is really what it was. They both would be gone soon and she dreaded spending tonight alone in this bed.

This time it was her turn to help along the facade that was becoming less of a facade by climbing under the blankets, removing her dressing gown, and feigning sleep when the food was brought.

She heard Elliot walk over to the bed after the servant left. “You really are a cruel goddess.”

She opened her eyes slowly and stretched, letting the blanket slip down further, but not far enough. She wasn’t being Sekhmet, though, and eventually a sly smile broke her feigned innocence. Elliot leaned down to her and she reflexively grabbed the blanket tight to her chest, but he just kissed her on the nose. “Keep this up and I won’t share breakfast with you.”

Nes made her face look appropriately reprimanded. “My apologies. Can you hand me my dressing gown?”

His mouth opened slightly with a smile. “No.” And he walked away to the chairs, taking a seat facing the bed and pouring himself a cup of tea.

Nes stared after him in surprise, wishing this could continue, knowing it couldn’t. She finally yanked the blanket off the bed, wrapping it around herself, and hopped down to the floor. She didn’t bother picking up the robe, instead simply walking over to where Elliot sat with a smirk on his face.

“You’re only tormenting yourself, you know.”

She moved to sit in the chair opposite him, but he jumped up and pulled her down onto his lap.

“What must Lantash think of your antics?” she said with a laugh.

He put his chin on her shoulder. “He’s enjoying some fun and happiness after so much loss.” His voice grew serious. “It’s odd to miss his last hosts and their loved ones as well.”

“Yeah. I feel sad when I think of Sokar’s death.” She felt his body stiffen and she knew Lantash was likely repulsed by that thought. She maybe should have used Sekhmet’s sons as an example, but their deaths were far too difficult for her to think of if she didn’t have to. “I need to get ready. Would you have Lantash tell the guard to send for the servant girl?”

He nodded into her shoulder and then helped her stand. When she turned to look at him as she got to the bath, his eyes were distant and she guessed he was speaking with Lantash.

The girl helped dress Nes in a long black gown with red stitching covering the bodice and then led her to the throne room to speak with Lord Yu.

“Have you learned anything more from your servant, A’yal?” He sat drinking tea and motioned for her to join him.

Nes bowed low before taking her place across from him. “Unfortunately the host he took was fairly new to the Tau’ri’s Stargate program, but he will be valuable if we should ever pursue an attack against them. Of course, the Asgard still protect the planet. We will need to be more subtle in our efforts.”

“And what of the Tok’ra and the poison?”

“The majority of the Tok’ra are now dead.” She smirked slightly. “And with no queen serving their purposes, they will soon be wiped out entirely.” She lifted her tea for a small sip. “As for the poison, the formula was taken by the Tau’ri, but I believe their greatest weakness will be their foolish affection for the jaffa. The Shol’va, Teal’c, will not be quick to destroy his people along with our kind.”

“Anubis did not acquire it?”

“No, though he may take the same path as us and try to determine its composition by examining those killed by it.” She smiled widely. “I only wish I could be present when Zipacna reports his failure to Anubis.”

Lord Yu also smiled and they laughed together. If they could not be successful, it was best if no one else could be either. “And are you prepared to send A’yal to gather your fleet now?”

“Yes, though I have not informed him of his task yet. I did not want to presume to know your mind.”

Lord Yu bowed his head magnanimously. “Perhaps your ships could meet us at Revanna.”

“Yes, we do not want to waste any time in obtaining a specimen.” That was better for her anyway. She could then perhaps blame Zipacna for the loss of her fleet and A’yal. She turned toward the servant attending them. “Send for my servant, A’yal.”

He bowed and left, returning shortly with Elliot who also bowed low, first to Lord Yu and then to Nes.

“You sent for me, my queen?”

Nes couldn’t help enjoying the deep voice of Lantash coming from Elliot’s mouth.

“I have a task for you, A’yal.” She leaned forward to pick up her tea, steeling herself for her own task. “You will go through the Chappa’ai to where my fleet is hidden and bring its ships and jaffa here so that they may also serve Lord Yu.”

She could just note his jaw clench tighter and she guessed Lantash was having to fight against Elliot’s anger. “Forgive me, Lord Sekhmet, but I have pledged to protect you. I would not wish to leave you alone.”

Lord Yu stood abruptly. “Would you accuse me of harming your mistress?”

Lantash lowered Elliot to his knees. “No, Lord Yu, but there are many dangers regardless of the friendship you have offered my queen.”

Nes placed a hand on Elliot’s shoulder. “Have no fear, A’yal. I will be safe until your return. We must all trust one another as we fight Anubis.”

Lantash took her hand and kissed it. “Yes, Lord Sekhmet. When am I to leave?”

“Now. There is no reason to tarry.” She kept her voice casual and calm. “You will bring the fleet to Revanna to meet us.”

His head jerked up. “May I speak with you privately before my departure?”

Nes smiled at him and ran her finger along his jawline. “Of course. Return to my quarters. I will be there presently.”

Lantash stood and bowed stiffly to the two goa’uld before exiting the room.

Yu watched him leave before commenting. “His loyalty is impressive.”

“I have always been good at keeping my servants devoted to me.”

“Yes, I recall your special gifts in those areas.”

Nes stood slowly as she spoke. “If you will excuse me, I will speak with A’yal and then escort him to your Chappa’ai.”

“As long as  _ you _ do not also attempt to depart with him.”

She smiled sweetly. “You would merely send your jaffa through to retrieve me. I am not foolish. And what reason would I have to betray you after only a single day of our alliance?” Again, her logic was impeccable to the goa’uld, her true motivations unfathomable to them.

He nodded and she took her leave, guards still close at hand as she walked the halls to her room. She paused for just a moment with a deeper breath before opening the door.

Elliot was pacing the room and she shut the door quickly as he approached her. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” He kept his voice at a normal volume, but Nes still had the full impression of yelling.

She shifted her shoulders back and raised her chin to him. “Of course. You don’t think I’d come here without a plan to get you out.”

“And I’m supposed to just leave you here.”

Nes walked past him to the group of chairs, pouring herself a glass of water from the pitcher left from breakfast. “Yes. I’ll be fine.”

“And when A’yal doesn’t return with your fleet?”

She sat down, crossing her legs, and shrugged her shoulders. “I’ll declare you a traitor or perhaps say you were attacked. I haven’t decided yet. I’ll allow the situation to inform my excuse.”

The longer she appeared calm, the more agitated Elliot became. “I won’t go, Nes. I  _ won’t _ leave you behind.”

“Then we will both be executed.”

“You set me up. You backed me into a corner.”

“I knew that would be the only way you’d go. You’re far too loyal for your own good. I’d like to speak with Lantash now.”

“I don’t care. This isn’t going to happen.”

“Fine, he can still hear me.” She set down her glass and stood. “Lantash, we’re going to save him whether he wants it or not. Do not let him mess this up.”

“Stop.” Elliot’s voice was filled with hurt and anger.

“He knows you have no choice.”

“Stop! After everything last night, how can you do this?”

“Yes, I’m sorry for last night. I meant to keep my distance.” She kept her mannerisms cool towards him.

“Well, you didn’t and you aren’t going to just send me away now.”

“I already have. You can’t stay, Lieutenant.” Names were too personal, even last names.

“Don’t you dare.”

“I’ll send you to an uninhabited planet I’ve visited before and from there you can gate to M4C-862 where there’s a research facility. They had some issues with some...light bugs of some kind, but they’ve been able to return to the moon since that incident.”

“Come with me.” He grasped her arms, but she kept her eyes away from his. “Tell Lord Yu you need to get the fleet yourself. That they’ll only trust you since A’yal is in a new host.”

“He won’t let both of us go. You know that.”

“Then just you go. I’ll stay here.”

“Don’t be foolish. I did this to save  _ you _ .”

“Then just run through the gate with me.”

“They’ll only follow us.”

“Nes, please…”

“Lantash, I expect you to get him out of here. Drag him kicking and screaming if you have to.”

“Don’t team up against me.” He pulled her into a hug and she pulled up Sekhmet to keep him from affecting her. “I won’t leave you here.” He reached down to tip up her chin and kissed her hard.

Even Sekhmet couldn’t keep her from responding, but eventually she pushed him back just enough to speak. “Lantash, drag him out of here.  _ Please _ .”

“No--” Elliot’s voice was frantic, but his eyes flashed and Lantash grimaced.

“He will hate me,” he said with Elliot’s distorted voice.

“He’ll get over it. We are not going to let him die because of some temporary infatuation.”

“I was wrong about you.” Lantash released her from Elliot’s arms, but Nes looked at him with disgust.

“No. You weren’t.”

“You shouldn't have done this. We would have stayed with you.”

“I know. That's  _ why _ I did this.”

She quickly wrote down the address to the research outpost for Lantash. Once he’d memorized it, she held it in the flame of a nearby candle before tossing it onto a plate to burn and then moved towards the door.

“Let’s go.”

The guards stayed with them as they wound their way to the ring room that transported them down to the caverns under the palace and from there it was a short walk to the Gate. Nes dialed the address to the planet she’d escaped to from the SGC, with Ronnie as a hostage. She told Lantash to be swift in his task and quick to meet them at Revanna. His face was grim, but he still kissed her hand before he departed through the gate, squeezing it gently as a goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 5.18 “The Warrior”

Nes lingered at the gate for a few minutes, wanting to make sure jaffa were not immediately sent through behind him, but Lantash would be quick to dial the next planet, so she soon retreated back to the palace and her quarters, asking the servant to bring her meal to the room. She ate little, but it at least helped the time pass. When they came to retrieve the tray, she was informed that they would be departing soon for Revanna and the servant girl was already packing clothing and other essentials for her.

Part of her was relieved to be spending the night somewhere other than in this room, but the other part walked her over to the bed and buried herself in the pillows for a few moments. She again dug down to find Sekhmet and wasn’t surprised to find her personality becoming easier to put on the more she used it.

She knew this would be how it happened, how she transformed back into the monster she had been only a few months ago. It was like rediscovering a favorite shirt or pair of jeans and finding it still fit just as well as it had in the past. It needed a bit of breaking in again, but she felt her body relax in the comfortable mannerisms she’d grown so accustomed to.

A fleet of ha’taks took Lords Yu and Sekhmet to Revanna and Nes mostly kept to her room other than joining her new master for meals. When they arrived above the planet, long range scanners did not indicate any other ships and Nes prepared her words for Lord Yu when he addressed the obvious lack of her fleet.

“A’yal has not yet arrived.”

“No, my lord, but we did have a shorter journey than my fleet.” She made her voice confident, but laced just a bit of fear into it.

“Perhaps.” He didn’t hide his suspicion.

He directed his First Prime to ring down to the surface and locate both Tok’ra and Jaffa dead to bring back up to the ship. There was a bit of hesitancy in his slaves and she guessed there was fear of residual poison affecting them. She could offer them assurance, but Sekhmet would never bother with such things, choosing instead to enjoy their discomfort.

Specimens were acquired and the jaffa were surprisingly even more tense when they returned, likely affected by the masses of their fallen brethren on the planet, even though they were technically enemies.

“Your jaffa seem to grieve the loss of Zipacna’s warriors,” Nes boldly noted during tea with Lord Yu. “Do you worry of their growing attachment to their own kind over their gods?”

“The Jaffa rebellion is moving from an annoyance to perhaps a force to be destroyed before it grows too large.” He sipped his tea and smiled slightly. “I have already taken steps to eliminate the threat, however.”

“Oh?”

“Soon they will be destroyed and our slaves will resume their previous loyalty.”

It was clear he wasn’t going to share any more of his plans, but Nes would keep her eyes and ears open for more information during her time with the goa’uld.

Lord Yu agreed to wait two more days for the arrival of Sekhmet’s fleet and Nes increased her outward frustration as the time passed. When finally the allotted time had expired, she brought herself before Yu and bowed her head to the ground, pleading for forgiveness for sending her servant instead of going herself to retrieve the ships and vowing to punish A’yal if he still lived.

Yu seemed only to suspect she had grown weak as a She’ket and not that she was deceiving him completely, but eventually he granted her forgiveness and allowed her to continue to serve him. Back on his home planet, Nes assisted Yu’s scientists in examining the dead they had retrieved, hoping that Sekhmet’s residual knowledge would aid her in covering up any discoveries made.

She worked long hours, making sure to exhaust herself completely so she would sleep, but always waking feeling just as tired as when she had climbed into the too large and empty bed. In the mornings, she allowed herself a few moments surrounded by pillows and blankets to pretend she was back to that first and last morning with Elliot, but always too soon her servant would knock on the door and the heaviness that sunk onto her buried Nes deeper and deeper. She was slowly slipping away under Sekhmet’s ability to control all the negative feelings she couldn’t handle right now. It was easier to be Sekhmet, to shove her own thoughts and emotions away.

But when she heard familiar screams echo through the palace one day, she knew Nes wasn’t completely gone because her body tensed instead of relaxing into Sekhmet’s favorite sound. She made her way to Lord Yu’s dungeon and found Teal’c shackled and being tortured. She dismissed the jaffa inflicting the pain and stood in front of the Shol’va.

“Teal’c, Teal’c, Teal’c. Why do we keep meeting this way?” She smiled to the jaffa in Sekhmet’s usual way, but then knelt down and spoke in her human voice quietly. “What are you doing here?”

“I was leading an attack and was captured.”

“Why would Earth attack here?”

“Not Earth, the Jaffa Rebellion. I was led to believe that Lord Yu was still weak from being attacked by Osiris.”

“No. He recovered quickly. Surely Lt Elliot told you that.” Fear gripped her. “Did he not return?”

“He did, but K’tano seemed to have more recent information.”

“K’tano?”

“The new leader of the Jaffa Rebellion.”

“And Lt Elliot is safe?”

“He is indeed.”

Nes put a fist to her chest to calm her relief. “I’ll see what I can do to help you.” Teal’c nodded but she had little hope of coordinating his release. Still, she’d at least try.

Nes walked casually into the throne room. “I see you have a rather fine prisoner in the palace now.”

Lord Yu looked up as she entered “Yes. He was sent to kill me.”

“That does not sound like the Shol’va we all know and love.”

“He was deceived by one who has also deceived me.” There was a deep anger in his voice. “I sent my underlord Imhotep to pose as his own First Prime K’tano. He was weeding out the jaffa rebels, gathering them to a single location, but he planned a mutiny aboard one of my ha’taks. I discovered his disloyalty when he sent Teal’c, likely hoping we would kill one another.”

Fear began to grow in her chest, thinking of all of the jaffa rebels being wiped out in a single blow. She had to stop it.

“Perhaps you can achieve several of your goals all at once.”

“What are your thoughts on the matter?”

“Return the Shol’va to his rebellion.”

Yu’s eyebrows raised, but she held up a hand to keep him from interrupting.

“Tell him of K’tano and allow him to kill Imhotep. The deception will do more to destroy the rebellion than anything else.”

The goa’uld rubbed his chin as he thought. “My ha’tak is still on its way to their base. Most will be destroyed, but yes, any survivors will go with stories of the futility of their cause.”

Nes allowed Sekhmet to smile maliciously, but she ached with the thought that her actions could destroy the rebellion even if she saved Teal’c. Lord Yu directed his First Prime, Oshu, to bring the prisoner before him and as Yu did not specifically ask her to leave, Nes stayed to listen to the conversation.

“ **Teal'c. Perhaps I am not as weak as you were led to believe. My jaffa have brought you before me because I wanted it so. K’tano has sent you to kill me.”** He waited for the jaffa to nod.  **“Your faith is not blind. I know this of you. I am going to offer you your life. I will even allow you to return to your rebel army. But first, there is something you must know.** ”

Yu went on to explain the truth of K’tano and Nes watched as Teal’c’s anger strengthened him again. She felt pride in his desire to save his people from yet another false leader. He was released and given his armor and sent again through the Stargate to avenge the lives of those jaffa whom Yu had not spared.

That night she allowed herself to release the fear she’d been holding - that perhaps Elliot had not made it back to Earth - and slept more soundly. The remaining weight still continued to push Nes further into the small corner, though, as Sekhmet settled back into her old space.

She again resumed her work on the symbiote poison, but they made little progress thanks to her subtle sabotage and eventually she informed Lord Yu that it should be abandoned altogether. He seemed confused by her explanations and eventually Oshu dismissed her, saying his master needed to rest.

Lord Yu used the sarcophagus nearly everyday now and it was becoming more apparent to her that its use combined with his extreme age was taking its toll. She wasn’t yet sure if this would benefit or harm her. If it made him more pliable, she could possibly escape, but if he also became more erratic, predicting how to handle him would become difficult.

Nes felt Oshu would be her best source of information on Yu’s deterioration, but she also sensed he was intensely loyal to his master. She called him into her quarters one evening and directed him to the chair opposite her, using the same tactics to unbalance him that she had originally used on Rak’nor.

“Oshu, I find it necessary to turn to you for advice.”

“My lord?” His hands fidgeted as he sat and she smiled at the similarity to Rak’nor, though she had to quickly push the memories aside as a vision surfaced of his eyes full of hurt.

She shifted her position slightly, resting her chin onto her hand. “I have come to notice that our Lord Yu is…unwell...at times.” She paused, but Oshu did not respond. “I wish to support him during this time, particularly as the war with Anubis continues.”

“You mean you wish to usurp him.”

“On the contrary, my history proves that I have always favored being a force in the shadows. Lord Yu commands greater loyalty and respect.”

“You would use him.”

“I would  _ preserve _ him. You and I cannot allow Anubis to destroy him.”

“What would you have me do?”

“Encourage his trust in me. Together, we can direct his forces to stand firm against Anubis’ attacks, but I will rely on your military expertise. It is apparent why you are so well regarded by both Lord Yu and his jaffa.”

Oshu’s breathing was steady as he considered her words. Finally he nodded. “We will uphold my Lord’s legacy and protect him from Anubis.”

Nes bowed her head to the First Prime. “Gather reports from the fleet and we will determine the best strategy for withstanding the assault on my lord’s territories.”

Oshu stood and bowed, a hand to his chest. “Yes, Lord Sekhmet.”

She dismissed him with a wave of her hand and then slumped in her chair as he left. Every day and every calculated move left her all the more exhausted. She called in her servant to help her prepare for bed early and then collapsed into the blankets and pillows.

Lord Yu, despite his inability to remember many things, took note of her increased exhaustion, and offered the use of his sarcophagus to revitalize her. She initially resisted, but Yu’s suspicions increased with each refusal. Eventually she could see no other option and thanked her master for his concern.

Her time in the sarcophagus did indeed restore her body, even undoing some of the residual damage left from her capture by Keffler. It also seemed to lessen her concerns over her transformation back into Sekhmet, as well as her loneliness. A small voice reminded her that this was precisely the danger of the device, but she was able to silence the objection rather easily. Soon, she began spending time in the device whenever she felt her old burdens returning and she grew content in her lifestyle in Yu’s palace.

She and Oshu worked on battle strategies for Yu’s fleet and he began to trust her more and more as he saw that she seemed to pose little danger to his master. However, as she spent more time in the sarcophagus, she also began to wonder why Lord Yu should maintain his status as her master when she was doing all of the work.

The title of Empress would be significantly more pleasant than that of Underlord.


	4. Chapter 4

Nes began to tend to Lord Yu more closely, slowly gaining his favor and making herself indispensable to his daily life. Oshu noticed, but did not comment, his loyalty seeing the benefit her attentiveness had on his master.

She had commandeered a room for herself to have meetings, a throne room of sorts, and one morning as she had tea and went over reports from Yu’s fleets, Oshu entered to announce the arrival of one of Yu’s underlords, a minor goa’uld of no real consequence, but who had requested an audience. As Lord Yu was having a particularly bad day, Oshu had brought him to her instead.

“Send him in, Oshu. You have done well.”

He bowed before exiting and Nes was more than slightly surprised when he returned with Jacob Carter.

Selmak spoke. “My Lord Sekhmet, I am honored you have granted me an audience, but I had expected to meet with Lord Yu.”

“I am afraid my lord is busy attending to other more important matters. You understand.” She directed her gaze to Oshu. “Leave us. See if your master requires your assistance.”

After he left, Selmak bowed his head and Nes directed Jacob to a chair. He sat, but looked over her critically. “You’ve established yourself quite well.”

She smiled, but it was Sekhmet’s smile. Still, she returned to her human voice for his benefit. “Yes. I’m afraid Lord Yu’s health is beginning to deteriorate. It has not been difficult to gain his trust.”

“You’re different than when I saw you last on Revanna.”

“That was months ago.” She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

“You’ve been using the sarcophagus.”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

He leaned forward, suddenly a fatherly figure. “Can you not see how you’re being altered?”

“I am more effective in my role this way.”

“You will no longer be playing a role soon.”

She was disgusted by his concern and stood to escape some of his gaze. “What have you come for?”

“You, actually.”

She turned to look at him again and he continued.

“Lantash asked me to help you escape once I had finished rounding up the remaining Tok’ra who had survived the bombardment at Revanna.”

“I do not require  _ help _ in escaping. I could go through the Stargate or take a ship at any time, now that I am well trusted by my lord.”

“I think you require help more than you know, Nes.”

No one had called her Nes in too long and it cracked through the shell just slightly.

“I can’t leave. Lord Yu has become completely incapable of maintaining the fight against Anubis. His First Prime and I have been commanding the fleet in his name.”

“Oshu will be able to continue without you, Nes. You need to come home with me.”

She laughed at him. “Home? Earth is no more home to me than it had been to Sekhmet.”

“Daniel is dead, Nes.”

Her head jerked up in surprise, not just at his words, but at her reaction to them. “What?”

“He was exposed to a massive amount of radiation and died about a month ago.”

“No. You’re lying.”

“I wish I were.” He ran his hand over his face. “Please come back to Earth.”

“There’s nothing for me there.”

“What about your friends? Sam, Jack, Teal’c...Lt Elliot. He and Lantash have been beside themselves since they returned.”

She could feel memories beginning to surface, images Sekhmet had locked away with every trip into the sarcophagus. They came back muddled and she struggled to sort them all out while Jacob came over and put a hand on her arm.

“Come home, Nes. There are plenty of people who can help you remember who you are.”

“What if this is who I am?” She was genuinely asking and she looked down to trace a finger over the lion on her hand. She had bounced around between personalities so frequently, adapting to whatever situation she was in, but it was getting harder to remember any beyond her current one. Any beyond Sekhmet.

“It’s not.” He sounded so confident. “Tell Oshu an urgent matter needs your personal attention. You can leave with me right now.”

She stood frozen for a long time, trying to decipher what to do.

“If Earth isn’t where you want to be, you can always come back, Nes.”

She knew it was a trick of sorts, a way to make the decision seem less important, but the tiny bits of her old self latched onto it like life itself and she was finally propelled into motion.

“I’ll ask my servant to prepare my things.”

“You won’t need much. Tell her to have everything ready within the hour. I’ll prepare the ship.”

“Send Oshu in. I’ll speak with him.”

When Oshu came back into the room, she was completely Sekhmet again, but the facade was suddenly more difficult to maintain. “I am afraid there is an urgent matter that I need to attend to.”

“What is it?”

“My once loyal servant, A’yal, has been captured.” She shifted into Sekhmet’s smirk. “I wish to deal with him  _ personally _ .”

“Of course, Lord Sekhmet. When will you return?”

“It may be a few weeks, Oshu, but you must continue on while I am away.”

“Lord Yu will miss your presence. He has come to depend on you throughout the day.”

“Yes, I am aware. I will instruct my servant in the ways in which I cared for him.”

“Thank you, Lord Sekhmet. We will anxiously await your return.”

Guilt over leaving Oshu crept in, a tactic her Sekhmet side was using in an attempt to convince the sympathetic parts of her to remain, but she fought it down using its own skills against it.

Nes met Jacob at his tel’tak where her servant had already sent the items she had packed, and they began the journey back to Earth. By day seven of their nine day journey, withdrawal symptoms had begun to set in without a sarcophagus to fill her need. She became cruel in her words and Sekhmet’s personality grew more and more dominant. Jacob had little patience for her and Selmak had even less. By the time they landed on Earth, the Tok’ra and host had locked her in the cargo hold with threats of sticking her in an escape pod.

It was a few weeks of the various stages of withdrawal, much of which Nes spent strapped to a bed screaming various obscenities at anyone within hearing distance. With her many languages to draw on, she at least could be creative and had very little repetition, though the English ones were worked in frequently simply due to their effectiveness on her current audience. As it began to subside, Nes felt the Sekhmet parts of her retreat back from their more dominant positions, but she knew she would have to work hard to regain the space she had claimed prior to her time in Yu’s service.

She was moved back to one of the rooms she’d lived in before, but she still spent most of her time in bed as a heavy depression sunk onto her. The sarcophagus blocked so many of the feelings she’d wanted to ignore and now they hovered over her like death. Guilt began to stream in as well, bringing to mind the various prisoners she’d tortured for information and then murdered. She’d told herself at the time that their pain and deaths were necessary not only for her facade, but also for the war against Anubis. Now the memories were too hazy for her to know for sure if her excuses were even slightly valid.

She was starting to have visitors now that she wasn’t explaining to everyone who entered how she would go about killing them in graphic detail. Sam filled Nes in on everything that had happened since she’d last seen them on Revanna, but they mostly talked about Daniel and how he hadn’t quite died, but ascended to a different state of being. Nes was sure it was all wonderful, shedding his physical form to become pure energy and learn the secrets of the universe, but the end result for all of them left behind was the same. He was still gone and Nes was sad to have lost a man who had been so kind to her.

“Sam?” She’d been wanting to ask a particular question since she’d been lucid again, but still waited patiently until the major looked up. “How was Lt Elliot when he came back?”

“Angry.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Really angry. He told the Tok’ra to find a new host for Lantash.”

Nes took a deep breath. “Did they find one?”

“Not yet. Elliot agreed to go on a mission with Lantash while they looked.” Sam shifted slightly. “Nes, I understand why you did what you did, but he was really upset.”

Nes ran her fingers through her hair. “I really just figured he’d get over it.”

“He’s not that kind of a guy, Nes. He wasn’t to begin with, but he certainly wasn’t going to be after his Air Force training. We don’t leave people behind.”

“I don’t know what else I could have done. Lantash knew it was the only way to save him.”

“I know. And Lantash has tried again and again to convince Elliot of that, but leaving you behind went against everything that makes him who he is.” Her mouth formed a small smile. “He reminds me of Colonel O’Neill in a lot of ways.”

“When will they get back from their mission?”

“I don’t know. My dad said he’d let them know you were back as soon as he could, though.”

Nes put her face into her hand. “I just wanted him safe.”

“I know...but he wanted the same for you.” Sam rubbed Nes’ back gently.

“He’s going to hate me, isn’t he?”

Sam chuckled. “I doubt it.” She checked her watch and got up. “I have a video call with Antarctica in a few minutes.”

“Antarctica? The research base? They find something?”

“Not sure yet. I’ll let you know. Get some rest.”

As Sam was leaving, Jonas Quinn almost bumped into her as he came to visit Nes. Jonas had replaced Dr. Jackson on SG-1 and Nes struggled with not being angry at him. It was his people whose unsafe testing on a new element called naquadria had led to the injuries that had forced Daniel to ascend. Jonas had decided to help Earth’s Stargate program after the accident, though, and now he couldn’t return home, considered a traitor by his people. Nes could at least relate to him in the loss of their old lives.

“Hey, Nes. Just thought you might want some company.”

“Sure, Jonas.”

He had several books and magazines in his hands.

“Reading anything interesting?”

“Well, I found this book on agricultural practices in ancient Greece and then they just got the latest issue of the  American Journal for Evolutionary Science. And then I found some old issues of--”

“I get it. Lots of various interesting things to read.” Nes rubbed her forehead a bit.

“You okay? Need Dr. Frasier?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” Jonas was sweet, but his energy and enthusiasm felt exhausting in her current state. “Ya know, I think maybe I’d better take a nap. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, of course not! Get some rest.” Jonas left and Nes let the gloom settle into the room again. She was going to spend a few hours mentally tormenting herself with thoughts of how upset Elliot had been with her deceptions.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 6.04 “Frozen” and Episode 6.06 “Abyss”

The research lab in Antarctica had, in fact, found something, but SG-1’s journey to investigate had done more harm than good. A woman, possibly one of the Ancients who had built the Stargates, had been frozen down there. They had thawed her and been stunned to find she was still alive, but soon SG-1 and the researchers had become sick. They suspected she had infected them with a virus she carried. The woman, who they had named Ayiana, had been somehow able to heal most of them, but it had taken a toll on her own health, and she had been unable to heal Jack. He was now dying from the disease.

Nes offered to take him back to Lord Yu’s palace to use the sarcophagus, but it was deemed too risky with Yu knowing Jack’s identity. Nes agreed - there was no way she could get Jack in and out safely.

Nes watched from the observation room as they presented their last option to Jack: a Tok’ra symbiote. Dr. Frasier and Sam were in biohazard suits down below them in the quarantine room.

“ **I'm administering 0.1 epi. I don't know if this is gonna work.** ”

“ **Will it hurt him?** ”

Nes ached to see Sam so concerned

“ **Can't get much worse.** ” Dr. Frasier stepped away and Sam moved closer to the colonel.

“ **Sir, I don't know if you can hear me. The Tok'ra have offered you a deal. There's a symbiote that needs a host.** **They think it could cure you. Now, it may be your only chance. It would only be temporary. It would come out of you as soon as they found another host.** ” Sam looked around at the others. “ **Sir, are you getting any of this?** ”

“ **Carter?** ” Jack’s voice was weak and Sam leaned closer to speak to him.

“ **Yeah, I'm right here.** ”

“ **Over my dead body.** ”

Nes wasn’t surprised. Jack had made his opinions about all symbiotes very clear and she momentarily wondered what she would choose if it were her lying there. She honestly wasn’t sure.

Sam’s frustration was apparent, but also her concern for Jack’s life. “ **Sir, the symbiote's host died while they were on a mission.** ”

Nes was impressed with this tactic of appealing to his self sacrificial side.

“ **The Tok'ra have strong reason to believe that the symbiote has vital information to reveal and this would give him that chance. Now, they promised that if no other host was found within a reasonable amount of time, the symbiote would sacrifice itself rather than stay in an unwilling host. Sir, please.** ”

Jack stared at her for a moment before nodding almost imperceptibly. Sam smiled at Dr. Frasier and then at those up in the observation room. Nes knew she should be relieved, but instead she wondered if Jack would be changed beyond recognition with this decision.

Jack was loaded up and taken through the Stargate to the Tok’ra base to be implanted with the symbiote, Kanan. Nes asked to accompany them, her own experiences making her curious about the implantation process. Part of her wondered if seeing it from the outside would help her make sense of what she’d felt from the inside. Another part of her simply had a sick curiosity.

Colonel O’Neill was very sick and weak by the time they arrived in the tunnels of the new base, so the procedure was done as quickly as possible. Nes watched as the symbiote was taken out of a chamber like the one where Lantash had been kept and she couldn’t keep her mind from remembering that day with Elliot. She forced her eyes to remain open as the symbiote propelled itself into Jack’s mouth. His head jerked back as Kanan burrowed into the back of his throat and wrapped himself around Jack’s spinal cord. Nes felt Sam’s arm come around her shoulders and she realized her own hand was covering her mouth, her eyes wide in horror.

She’d seen memories of it in Sekhmet’s mind, other implantations, but those had usually been through the back of the neck. Seeing what had happened to her as she’d leaned into that car...she felt her knees start to weaken. She reached down to pull up Sekhmet’s calm, but it was already too late and Sam had to shift her arm to Nes’ waist to keep her upright. Jacob came over to give her a hand and Nes finally stabilized herself.

She kept her voice low. “I’m sorry. I’m fine.”

Sam and her father guided her off to the side of the room to sit and Jacob sent a nearby Tok’ra to get her a glass of water.

“I didn’t think I’d react like that.”

Jacob put a hand on her shoulder. “You’ve been through a lot, Nes, and you’re still recovering from the sarcophagus withdrawal. It’s alright.”

Nes nodded, but she still despised the current state of her body and mind. She knew the sarcophagus did its own harm, but she had felt strong in every way when she’d been using it. The world felt too dangerous to be weak in.

It would take Kanan quite a bit of time to heal Jack, but while the others had to return to their duties at the SGC, Nes asked to stay on at the Tok’ra base for a while. Part of her hoped Elliot and Lantash would return, but she mostly just wasn’t ready to be back in her small room again. She’d be underground either way, but at least here was a new and different underground.

She’d underestimated the memories that would return being back in crystal tunnels, though, and she found herself awake and pacing the halls too many nights. There were always a few souls wandering or working as well, but in general, it was a peaceful time. Too peaceful. Too quiet. All it needed was the shaking of walls and ceilings falling in and it could be Revanna, listening to Elliot dying.

She leaned against one of the walls and slumped to the floor, knees to her chest as she twirled the lion ring in her fingers. She must have been hidden in the shadows, because footsteps went past her and she slowly looked up to see Jack walking down the corridor. What was he doing this time of night? His gait was just a little bit off and she realized it wasn’t Jack, but Kanan. What was the Tok’ra up to?

Nes stood silently and followed behind as he went to the ring room and transported up to the surface. She waited a few moments before following, knowing she would be unable to hide her presence in the barren wasteland above them. As the rings lowered back into the ground, she could see Kanan dialing the Stargate and she ran to approach him.

“Kanan.”

The low distorted voice of the symbiote answered her. “Go back.”

“What are you doing with Jack?”

“I require his assistance.”

“Is Jack a part of this?”

Jack’s eyes flashed in annoyance. “Go back.” He raised a zat’nik’tel at her and Nes thought quickly to change her strategy. He hadn’t finished dialing yet, which meant if he shot her, she’d have no idea where he was going.

“Let me help. Whatever you’re doing, surely having an extra set of hands would increase your chances of success.”

Kanan looked her over, likely rummaging through Jack’s memories of her, combining them with the Tok’ra knowledge of her offworld activities. “Why would you help me?”

“Because I want Jack back in one piece.” No need to lie. Her true motivations didn’t need to be hidden from him.

Kanan nodded, lowered his weapon, and finished dialing, allowing her to come alongside him. “I need to save her. I should never have left her behind.”

“Who?”

“Shallan.” Shame washed over his face. “I used her on a previous mission. I left without her.”

Nes knew that the Tok’ra accepted loss and sacrifice as simply a way of life during war, but perhaps Sam was right about Elliot and Colonel O’Neill. They simply weren’t the type of men that would leave one of their own behind. If Lantash had been able to think of any way to save her, she felt confident he would have supported Elliot in the risk. Jack’s values must have seeped into Kanan’s mind.

Nes nodded and they both went through the gate to an uninhabited world, venturing to various innocuous planets before their final destination: Asdad, a secret outpost of Ba’al. Her confidence dwindled with this information. Kanan explained that Ba’al experimented with gravity technology there and it was an impenetrable fortress, but with the knowledge he’d gained during his previous mission and the assistance of Shallan, who Nes learned was Ba’al’s lo’taur, they could save her and escape.

Their arrival was undetected, with only a small group of jaffa guarding the gate. Kanan was a skilled warrior and she was sure Jack’s own abilities were added to that, but Nes brought her own deadly grace to their operation. Ba’al’s outpost was through the trees, unseen from the gate, which helped the research facility maintain its secrecy. Nes personally would never have guessed what lay just beyond the wooded area surrounding them. They hid the bodies of the jaffa guards among the brush and then used the cover of night and their own stealth to make their way to a hidden entrance Shallan had shown Kanan during their time together.

Shallan was not difficult to locate, despite the size of the facility, but convincing her to come with them took too long.

“ **Is it you?** ” She traced Jack’s face with her hands. “ **You look so different. How can you be Kanan?** ”

“It’s me, Shallan. Please come with me.” His voice pleaded with her.

“ **If I leave with you, he will know.** ”

Nes understood her struggle, but her patience was wearing thin. “Come with us now or so help me, I’ll shoot you and carry you through the damn Chappa-ai.”

Kanan flashed his eyes at her and she flashed hers right back, disgusted with the delay this woman’s fear was causing them. Every moment put them closer to capture by Ba’al, a fate she would very much prefer to avoid.

The lo’taur finally nodded and they began to make their escape. 

It was already too late. 

Alarms began to sound and Nes knew they would never make it through the Stargate. As they ran through the trees, Shallan’s hesitancy grew stronger.

“ **It’s too far. I can’t…** ” She stumbled to the ground and Kanan drew close to her.

“ **Hide here until the Chappa-ai is activated. Go!** ” Shallan moved off into the trees while Nes and Kanan covered the rest of the ground to the DHD and began dialing. A staff blast hit Jack’s shoulder and he crumpled to the ground, but as Nes tried to help him, she felt a burning force in her own back that leveled her. Her face half buried in the mud, she watched as Kanan abandoned Jack, trying to at least save the Tok’ra information he held. The symbiote writhed on the ground before going still and Nes felt her own body mimicking it. Jack tried to crawl away, but it was too late.

For both of them.

A jaffa approached and placed his boot on top of Jack’s hand on the ground, stopping his desperate efforts to escape.

“ **Shek'mal, Tok'ra. Kree! Jaffa…Shal Kek.** ”

Another jaffa came over and kicked Jack over onto his back and Nes could see that his eyes had already closed, likely in death.

Nes was grateful she would at least be dead soon, too.

******

She was both right and wrong. She had died. She knew that at least, but now she recognized the familiar light and strength of a sarcophagus. Fear replaced her momentary relief as the stone above her began to open and she was roughly pulled from its interior.

The cell she was placed in didn’t seem to have any type of door, but as the guard swiped a button next to the entrance and she slid to what was suddenly the floor of the room, she remembered that this was first and foremost a research facility. She watched as large arrows on either side of her shifted to point to the new floor and she understood why there was no door. She would never be able to scale the walls to climb out.

It was an odd sensation watching the guards still standing upright perpendicular to her and she took a few moments to be in awe of what Ba’al had developed here. After that, she sat on one of the small benches to look through Sekhmet’s library on more information about the goa’uld she would likely meet soon. 

His reign on Earth began as an underlord of Ra, ruling the Phoenician and Canaanite peoples, but his name soon spread through the rest of the Mediterranean and beyond. Certainly not considered a kind ruler, he’d been one requiring human sacrifice and Nes felt Sekhmet’s admiration for those tactics. He’d also been one of the first goa’uld to see that the Tau’ri would rebel and so one of the first to leave Earth, which earned him the wrath of Ra. Ba’al was sadistic and charming and Sekhmet had always enjoyed his company. Nes hoped she could use that mutual respect to her advantage...but not yet.

The guards didn’t bother waiting for her to move to the other side of the cell before altering the gravitational direction and she found herself thrown down to the new floor before they grabbed her arms to guide her to what she assumed would be pain and death.

They entered a rather gothic looking room with a stained glass ceiling and a raised platform in the middle holding a bench seat and a podium. They walked her up the stairs and had her stand on one of the edges before one of the jaffa swiped a button like the one near her cell and she fell into the wall which now felt like the floor and looked up at them. The grogginess left from death combined with lying on a metal rack on the wall made her head spin and she struggled to keep any nausea at bay.

Ba’al entered, looking every inch the god he pretended to be in rich, dark fabrics covering a form that walked with confidence. His hair and beard were dark and his skin tan and Nes noted similarities to the hosts Sekhmet had known him in. He must have a preferred type like so many of the goa’uld did. Sekhmet, however, had always enjoyed variety, particularly with the cultural differences and changing times on Earth. She’d been thin and curvy and light and dark and tall and short and muscular and dainty and everything in between, enjoying how each host gave her access to different people and places and cultures and mannerisms.

His hands behind his back, he let his eyes roam over her body and she watched a small smirk form on his face. Clearly he was enjoying what he saw and internally Nes let her confidence grow.

“Who are you?” Being addressed by the goa’uld voice made it difficult for Nes to push Sekhmet down, but she didn’t want to reveal too much too soon. She kept her face fearful and laced terror into her words.

“Please.” Her voice shook, but she inwardly calmed as she bore witness to her own skills in deception.

“Who are you?” He lifted a panel on the podium and pulled out a large knife, fingering the blade before sitting down on the bench.

“I’m nobody. I don’t even know how I got here.”

“I find it difficult to believe that you infiltrated my most secret outpost without knowing how you arrived here.” He stood and approached the edge of the platform. “You were a Tok’ra, yes?”

Nes swallowed hard, allowing fear to radiate off her body. “No.”

Ba’al lifted the knife and let the gravity field grab the edge. “You will answer my questions truthfully.” He released the blade and it plummeted towards Nes, striking her shoulder.

She sucked in a breath with the pain and then allowed a few tears down her cheeks. “Please.”

“You and the other Tok’ra, what were you doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

“What did you want with my slave?”

“Please...I don’t know.”

He picked up another knife and let it fall into her thigh and she gifted him with a scream and more pleading.

“ **Your symbiote fled your body out of cowardice, but you will still know all that it knew.** And you will share all of that with me.”

They continued on like this, Ba’al asking questions, Nes feigning ignorance, and another knife finding her flesh for as long as Nes could maintain consciousness, but her blood fell down into the chamber below the web she was stuck in. Soon simply speaking required too much energy.

“ **Death will only offer a temporary escape. I can revive you again and again…a thousand times if need be. Only once you have told me everything I ask, will you be allowed to die one…last…time.** ”

He let loose another knife before pressing down on the button on the podium and releasing her body to the chamber below. Nes could feel rough hands gather her up at the bottom or the other side or whatever it was and then drop her into the sarcophagus. Soon she’d be revived and they would begin their delicate dance again.

Time passed, but Nes could only chart her time with the number of times she’d been revived in the sarcophagus and even that was growing harder to remember. Ba’al preferred knives primarily, but he also enjoyed the use of various acids that he would drip onto her body and allow to bore beneath her skin. It grew more difficult to keep Sekhmet hidden, especially as the sarcophagus strengthened her. Ba’al didn’t realize that every time he revived her, he only made Sekhmet more powerful. She’d caught sight of Jack in his own cell on a few occasions and he looked terrible, even talking to himself at times, but she could do nothing to help him until the right moment.

Nes could see how much Ba’al enjoyed their sessions, but she also noted how his hands fidgeted and his eyes grew hungry. Soon he would no longer be content with inflicting torment on her from a distance. When his jaffa brought her to the room again, this time Ba’al directed them to bring her up onto the platform and then dismissed them.

Ba’al walked over to where she stood, his hands coming up to rest on her shoulders before he let them slide down to her wrists. One hand lifted her chin, but she kept her eyes down, playing the fearful innocent. His fingers moved up to her temple and trailed down her jaw and throat as his other hand moved to her waist.

“I thought we would spend this session  _ differently _ .” His hand slid around to the back of her neck as he brought his mouth down to hers.

Nes had to use all of her focus to keep her own lips from responding, to slowly let him ignite a fire in the naive girl she was pretending to be. Eventually she allowed her own hands to slide up his chest and around his neck and when he pulled her closer, she reciprocated. 

From there, she moved onto the next act of her play. Nes pushed him off and shame covered her face, her fingers coming up to her lips.

Ba’al enjoyed her distress. “You see? I can give pleasure just as easily as pain.”

Nes wrapped her arms around herself and her face held only confusion as she stared at the gloating goa’uld in front of her.

“Come. I will be gentle...at first.” He coaxed her like a frightened kitten and she took a step towards him, noting his feet at the edge of the platform.

Nes took another step, but then pretended to trip, sending her body propelling forward towards Ba’al, arms outstretched. She slammed her feet back into the ground at the last moment to give herself the necessary leverage and drew on Sekhmet’s strength to push him hard off the edge. Her hip swung out to catch on the podium to stop her own forward motion and she swiped her hand across the button, activating the gravity well.

Ba’al fell to the web on the wall, caught in his own trap, and Nes allowed Sekhmet’s smirk to spread across her face with a small laugh.

“Whoops.”

“Release me.”

“You know…” She opened the top of the podium and pulled out one of his knives. “You made a very serious mistake when we first met.”

“And what would that be?” He still held onto his arrogance.

Nes tapped the blade against her chin. “You assumed...that my symbiote…” she let the knife edge catch in the gravity field, “...had been a Tok’ra.” Sekhmet’s smirk was on full display now and she released the knife, enjoying the groan that escaped Ba’al as it hit his shoulder.

“Who are you?” He gritted his teeth as he spoke and the anger and pain in his voice washed over Nes as a wave of calm.

“Oh come now, Ba’al. You’re smart. I’ve  _ always _ so admired your intelligence.”

The goa’uld looked over her face, now so completely altered with the change in personality. “Sekhmet.” He waited for her smile to widen. “The rumors are true then. You have become a She’ket.”

Nes took a dramatic bow, flourishing another knife in her hand and shifting into her goa’uld voice. “I must say, I admire this little system you’ve rigged up for torture, though I’ve always preferred a...closer...approach.” She let the second knife fly, lodging itself into the other arm. “But it is rather fun, isn’t it?”

“What do you want?”

“I’d like to propose a...relationship of sorts.” She took another knife and sat on the bench, crossing her legs casually.

Ba’al smirked at her. “You wish to serve me?”

Nes chuckled softly, feeling Sekhmet’s attraction to the goa’uld pulling her former host along. “Hardly. Merely, a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“Oh, I think we can come up with many  _ arrangements _ that are mutually beneficial.” Oh, he would be dangerous with that charm. “What do you have to offer?”

“I’ve established myself among the Tau’ri. They believe I am this host,” she gestured to her body, “and trust me completely.”

“I am not surprised with your acting skills.” He twisted slightly against the metal and winced with the pain.

“Yes, I am rather good, aren’t I? The look on your face just now was well worth the torture.” She smiled seductively and wished he were close enough to touch.

“So what is your plan for the Tau’ri?”

“For the moment, I will continue to observe with subtle sabotage when I can, but I need the support of someone with ships and jaffa if anything else is to be done.”

“I thought you had aligned yourself with Lord Yu.”

Nes sighed deeply. “I had, but it’s fairly obvious he’s not quite what he used to be.” She stood and walked to the edge of the platform again, her eyes surveying the man in front of her. “I need an ally still in his prime.”

He tried to puff up his chest, but the knives hindered his efforts. “Let me down and I will be more than happy to give you a demonstration of my capabilities.”

“Tempting.” She lifted the knife into the field. “Very tempting, actually.” She brought the knife back down to her hip and saw him relax, but then she released it quickly into his thigh.

He hollered, but frustration morphed it into a laugh. “I will hardly be a good ally if I am dead.”

“You’ve killed me several times already. I’ve earned the right to kill you at least once, don’t you think?”

He flashed his eyes at her. “And yet, there are so many other activities we could enjoy together.”

“I will never enjoy anything so much as watching your eyes flash in death.”

Ba’al smirked at his captor. “Then clearly you have not had the right partner.”

Nes smiled and breathed deeply before turning to pull out the bottle of acid. “I’m not done having fun this way yet.”

The acid began to burn through him, searching out his blood to spread and destroy, but she always neutralized it before it could take his life, wishing to be close to him when he died. A quick swipe over the button dropped him to the floor and she approached slowly, another knife twirling in her hand. Gravity fields and acids were flashy and fun for a moment, but this was where she would always return: a knife and a victim both right at hand.

He struggled to stay upright against the wall, but she kept her guard up. He was skilled at deception as well. Nes pulled out the knives lodged in his limbs and then straddled him, pulling his head back to look at her and he weakly returned her kiss.

Ba’al brought his hands slowly up her back and she felt his strength return slightly, pulling her closer. Eventually adrenaline conquered pain and he pushed her to the side and brought himself over her. She allowed Sekhmet free rein to enjoy Ba’al’s advances, but eventually Nes wanted to put a halt to the progression and reached for one of the knives she’d left on the ground, plunging it into his side. He gasped and she twisted it in deeper with a smile, patiently waiting for the anticipated moment. She yanked the blade out and the blood poured onto her, but finally his eyes flashed one last time and his body went limp.

Nes lay there for a few moments, breathing hard and feeling invigorated in so many different ways, but she eventually pushed Ba’al’s body off of her and went over to the door. As it opened, the guards turned, expecting their master, but instead found his prisoner, blood on her clothes and a smirk on her face.

“Your master requires your assistance in getting to a sarcophagus.” She began to walk past them when they halted her. “I’ll be in my cell. You really shouldn’t delay. He’s already dead.” One ran past her to find Ba’al and the other grabbed onto Nes. Her original plan had been to simply take out these two guards, but she’d become too weak with the constant death and life and death cycle she’d been put through. She’d have to take a more diplomatic approach to save Jack, though at times it was getting hard to remember that that was the goal of her plan.

She passed the colonel in his cell and sang out, “Ding dong! The witch is dead!” as a delirium settled onto her. The guard tossed her into the cell and changed the gravity direction before running off to assist the other jaffa with their master.

It was only a few hours before they returned for her, still covered in now dried blood, and the manic that had made her wanting a good run was subsiding into a calm prowl in her body. They took her to a small bedchamber and ordered her to shower and get dressed in the provided clothing. The shower felt heavenly and she took far too long for their patience, meaning that far too soon she was interrupted by fists banging on the door. Nes dried off and held up the dress selected for her. It was fairly simple with a gold collar to rest on her shoulders and a beautiful white fabric hanging from it, draping nicely to both cover and reveal. She slipped it on and braided her hair into a single plait before putting on the strappy sandals and joining her guards in the main room. They were both annoyed by her delay, but their faces told her that her efforts had been worth it.

She was escorted down the hall and was relieved when they passed the torture chamber and stopped at another door. She entered to find another platform, this one with a long narrow table filled with various dishes and plates. Ba’al was standing at a window on the far side of the room, staring out at a view of trees and distant mountains. He turned as she entered and watched her carefully as she made her way closer, her hips swaying with each step.

“You look much more alive than when I last saw you.” Sekhmet’s voice and smirk could not be contained at the thought of his death and she reached up to touch his cheek.

Ba’al’s jaw stiffened with her comment and touch and he grabbed her wrist roughly. “Yes. I am very much restored now.”

“Good.” Nes closed the gap between them and waited for his anger to subside.

“And was it as enjoyable as you had anticipated?”

“Every bit.” She extended the fingers of the hand he held and stroked his cheek. She could see the conflict in his eyes. He wanted her, but his anger and distrust would need to be overcome first.

“This ring my jaffa found on you makes much more sense now, Sekhmet.” He opened his palm to reveal the lion head. “Though it is certainly not of goa’uld quality.”

“It was a souvenir and holds great...sentimental...value.” She slipped it back on her finger, relaxing into its weight.

“Ah. Are you hungry?”

“For what?”

A smile broke through his anger. “Food.”

“Of course.” She stepped backwards and he released her as she walked up the platform to sit at the table. She was, in actuality, starving, having not been fed since her arrival, the sarcophagus keeping her alive without any sustenance, but she still calmed herself enough to eat with the manners Sekhmet would have used.

They kept up the formal chatter that the goa’uld had perfected with one another, talking incessantly and saying nothing of consequence, but eventually Ba’al had more pointed questions about her situation on Earth.

“And they have no idea that you remain yourself?” He sipped his wine and leaned towards her.

“My symbiote body is gone, so therefore  _ I  _ must be gone. Such small minds.” Nes scanned the table for her next conquest. “I have explained away my...traitorous activities...to their satisfaction and now I am free to come and go as I please.”

“And yet they live.” He was clearly disgusted with her apparent lack of action.

“But Sokar, Heru’ur, Apophis, Cronos, Hathor, and various others do not. Why should I risk my own life when they are doing such an excellent job of ridding the galaxy of my competition?”

Ba’al smirked at her. “A bold plan.”

“Plus,” she settled back in her chair, “I like Earth. I imagine you would enjoy its pleasures as well.”

“Oh?”

“I have ruled there in my own way. Being rich is the same as being a god on their planet.”

“So what do you propose for our...relationship for the time being?”

Nes stood and walked towards the still seated goa’uld, settling herself on the edge of the table next to his chair. “I imagine we could both benefit from a collaboration of information over time.”

Ba’al slid her over so she was directly in front of him and then stood, his hands resting on the table, trapping her between his arms. “Yes, your knowledge of Earth with my understanding of the affairs of the galaxy...we would be unstoppable by both the Goa’uld and the Tau’ri.”

Had Nes been Sekhmet, her plan for their alliance would have been perfect and she let that victorious feeling sweep over her as Ba’al let his lips trail across her neck. She thought momentarily of Elliot, but Sekhmet’s desires were claiming dominance and his image quickly faded as the goa’uld pushed dishes out of the way to lay her down onto the table.

Ba’al’s need for her finally won over distrust and kissing  _ always _ has such a way of calming anger, but as he suggested they take their  _ conversation _ to a more comfortable location, the base shook and the lights flickered. A jaffa ran through the door, flustered at first by the closeness of the room’s occupants, but he eventually found his voice.

“Lord Yu attacks!”

Ba’al grabbed her wrists as he pulled her to standing. “You have tricked me.”

“Why would I come here only to have Yu attack?”

“We must leave, my lord! He’s already taken out the power generators.”

Ba’al began dragging Nes toward the door, but she tried to twist her arm out of his grip.

“No. Let me escape with the Tau’ri prisoner. I’ll be able to resume my role on Earth.”

She could see his internal debate over whether or not to trust her, but he finally gave her a quick nod. “How will I contact you?”

Nes gave the appearance of thinking, but she was really fighting Sekhmet for dominance. An alliance with Ba’al could prove useful to both parts of her, though, and she could sort out which path to take later.

“I still have one or two communication spheres in storage. I will retrieve them.”

Ba’al nodded as the room shook again. He reached up and grabbed her face as Apophis had. “Do not betray me, Sekhmet.”

She let her own hand caress his cheek. “As long as you do as you say you will, I will have no need.”

The bombardment was getting worse and Ba’al finally left with his jaffa while she ran back towards the cells, hoping Jack had the energy to make it to the gate. As she came around a corner, though, she saw the colonel on top of a guard, punching him long after he was a threat.

“Jack!”

He looked up at her voice, coming out of the rage he’d been trapped in, and grabbed the guard's zat’nik’tel before they both began a jog down the corridor without needing to speak. They found Shallan in a cell along their path and again she resisted, but Sekhmet was too close to the surface and slapped the poor girl.

“Enough! Move!”

The lo’taur cowered for a moment, but then stood a bit straighter and nodded. They went out the side door they’d first entered through, taking out jaffa in the dark as they went, and made their way to the Stargate. Ba’al’s fleet was retreating in both ships and through the gate, so they waited hidden in the trees until the area was empty, knowing they would have a small window between Ba’al leaving and Yu arriving. Finally they had their moment and dialed to an uninhabited world, running through the gate.

They went quickly to the next DHD to dial the Tok’ra base and Jack turned to her with a smile. “What is it with you and impractical dresses?”

Nes smirked. “They just always seem to accomplish my goals so well, though for the record, I didn’t choose this one.”

He shook his head and they went through the gate again, Shallan clearly in shock over her betrayal of Ba’al. Pathetic. She’d get over it.

Their arrival was met with excitement, but Jack’s body could no longer sustain the very basics of walking and Earth was quickly contacted to retrieve their wounded. Nes was weak as well, but Sekhmet’s energy was still lapping at the surface, keeping her going a bit longer than Jack. She cursed the sarcophagus now, knowing she was in for a few more weeks of misery, but her Sekhmet side blessed it for granting her a greater presence yet again.

On their return back to Earth, Sam explained that they had figured out where Kanan had gone based on his mission reports and sent the base plans to Lord Yu in hopes that an attack would give the two of them a chance to escape.

“How’d you end up in a dress?” She reached out to grab a small bit of the loosely draped fabric.

Sekhmet’s smirk appeared as she thought over her time with Ba’al. “I was working on an escape plan, but Yu’s attack was extremely effective as well.” Nes simultaneously felt annoyed at the interruption and relief that she’d been able to escape with at least some of her dignity still intact. She would have done whatever was necessary to get Jack home, but she was glad it hadn’t come to whoring herself out to gain trust. She couldn’t stop a smile when she thought of how enjoyable Ba’al likely would have made that path, though.

She wasn’t going to reveal anything more of her conversations with the System Lord. It was apparent to Sekhmet’s intuition that Ba’al was a survivor. That, combined with his intelligence, meant he would likely find a way to still be standing when the other Goa’uld fell. Nes felt Sekhmet’s smirk again on her face and wondered if she were the same.

They truly could be unstoppable.


	6. Chapter 6

The withdrawal was even worse this time, since Nes’ body had not yet fully recovered before being captured by Ba’al. Beyond the physical ramifications that she was later told nearly killed her, the mental effects were substantial and she felt Sekhmet’s old presence begin to seep into her body much like Ba’al’s acids had. Her mind felt more crowded as Nes attempted to resist the return to her old self, but she found it difficult to care anymore. She felt lighter as she lessened the fight and accepted Sekhmet’s calm and power back into herself.

She doubted anyone could see the outward change - her deceptions were too skilled - but she felt the prowl settle on her muscles again. Nes at times would push back, but it was clearly a losing battle at the moment and the truth was...Nes enjoyed feeling strong again, feeling powerful again, feeling confident in how she moved through the world. She had none of the worries she’d been plagued with when Sekhmet’s residual control had been imprisoned after Keffler’s torture. Now she only wanted freedom again, freedom and the lifestyle of wealth and control she’d enjoyed as a host.

It wasn’t difficult to convince everyone to let her go topside for fresh air and shopping, and from there it was easy to simply disappear. They should have been suspicious of her quick recovery, but instead they seemed relieved and she took advantage of their foolishness. She didn’t leave a note of any kind, figuring she could always claim another kidnapping as the reason for her absence if she wanted to return.

A trip to her storage unit and a few phone calls later, she was on her way back to the house in Torrelavega. She needed space and hills and views that stretched beyond her vision. 

*****

The stone house was just as she’d left it, letting her settle into the space just as Sekhmet had before. She took long walks and ate good food and renewed acquaintances with the locals. She pretended to have friends just as Sekhmet would have done. She imagined this was her real life, but she grew heavier instead of lighter and decided to move on more quickly than she had hoped to.

By the time she arrived at the house just outside of Monaco, her management company had delivered the long range communication sphere she’d requested, but Nes kept it boxed up, unsure what her next step would be. Right now she wanted to mingle with the wealthy and powerful, but first, as Sekhmet always said, first shopping. She spent her days at the beaches and her nights at clubs and casinos and shows and parties. She enjoyed being admired and sought after and she debated back and forth over whether or not to kill. She didn’t feel the  _ need _ like her addiction of the past. She simply  _ wanted _ to, especially as she grew bored with the elite shells she was surrounded by. They were empty baubles and she began to compare them to the strong substance at the cores of the people she’d spent time with at the SGC.

She grew listless again and moved on again. She tried mountains and beaches, urban and rural, land and water, cold and hot. Nes put on different personas and mingled with different people. She bought clothes and jewelry and cars and boats and houses and an island or two. She acquired old companies and funded new ones. She saw all of the places she wanted to see and some she didn’t care at all about. She was accountable only to herself and did only as she pleased.

And she was bored.

She was lonely.

And she understood all the more why Sekhmet had wanted a different relationship with her host. Nes didn’t miss not having full control of her own body, but she did miss the conversation she enjoyed with the goa’uld.

Eventually she pulled the communication sphere out of its box and eventually it activated with a message from Ba’al who was intensely annoyed at her silence.

“I have been attempting to reach you for months.” His jaw was tight as he reprimanded her.

“I’ve been busy. Well...I haven’t actually, but I’ve been pretending to be busy. It’s really been more like...relaxing.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“Of course I am. Really, I should have invited you along. We could have had such fun.” She smiled seductively.

“You are hardly holding up your end of the bargain. Are you even monitoring the Tau’ri?”

“No, I’m afraid not, but I think I’ll be heading back there soon.”

His patience was wearing thin. “And will they allow you to return? Will they trust you after such an extended absence?”

“Oh, I imagine so.” She examined her fingernails, making sure to look rather bored by the entire conversation. “What have I been missing out in the galaxy?”

“Only Anubis attempting to destroy us all.”

“Oh, but I’m sure you’ve found a way to pick the right side of that dispute.”

“It will take the full force of the System Lords to stand against him!”

“Well, good for you, working together.”

“Enough!”

Nes gave a deep sigh. “Fine. I’ll be returning to the Stargate program soon and I will let you know if I learn anything of value.”

“Yes, you will, or this arrangement will be over.”

Nes stood to get a drink, though her real goal was simply to allow Ba’al to see the bikini she was wearing, having been lounging by the pool when he called. “I’m sure we can make this arrangement beneficial to us both still. Don’t you agree?” She could see why Sekhmet usually chose female hosts when so many of the other goa’uld preferred male ones. There was a critical vulnerability there that was easily taken advantage of.

When she turned back towards the device, Ba’al was smirking in his usual way. “Perhaps I should come to Earth to  _ personally _ check on you.”

She smiled innocently. “Oh, I don’t believe that will be necessary just yet...but soon perhaps. I will contact you once I’ve established myself within the Tau’ri’s base again.”

“I look forward to it.” He gave a quick nod and ended the transmission.

Perhaps she should have told him to come to Earth. At least he would have made things more interesting.

Sekhmet’s attraction to Ba’al’s power and brilliance was too strong for Nes to overcome with only her human disgust for the goa’uld in principal. She associated herself with them far too much to let those thoughts prompt her to guilt anymore. She’d need outside forces beyond her own mind to shift her back closer to Nes and who she once was.

Nes sighed as she went back out to the pool, taking in the view of her private rocky beach and the Pacific. She’d been running too long, pretending too long, alone too long. She wanted to be around people who saw her as Nes, expected her to be Nes. She wouldn’t tell them about her arrangement with Ba’al. She wasn’t ready to close the door on a true alliance with him just yet, but still, she hoped simply being in good company again would help her sort out her motivations.

******

She began the necessary arrangements to return to the States, but this time decided to set up her house in Colorado Springs. Perhaps being on the surface more would help her stick around longer. Living underground in a small room amplified her restlessness too quickly. They would no doubt be curious about her living arrangements, but Sekhmet, or rather her management company, had always done a superb job of keeping the various parts of her life disconnected and untraceable. Her assets were spread far and wide and deep under pseudonyms and companies based in different countries over thousands of years. This would be an isolated house when they looked into it.

With that decision, there was no reason to hide her lifestyle and she felt incredible relief to eliminate at least one element of her duality. She had one of Sekhmet’s vintage Mustangs delivered to the house, red and powerful and loud, and Nes was anxious to drive it again, the last time being in Los Angeles while still a host.

Nes saw no reason to delay her appearance at Stargate Command after unpacking a bit, but may have taken a drive around the city first - the trip to Cheyenne Mountain was far too short for getting reacquainted with her Mustang.

Stopped at the gate outside the base by yet another new airman, she simply gave her name with a smile and waited for the expected escort, mentally preparing for the upcoming outrage and scolding. She was met by Sam and Jack, who both looked pale, and their scowls gave her a good idea of how the rest of the day would be spent.

“Hi guys! Long time no see. I come bearing gifts.” She held up the various bags in her hands. “Don’t worry, they’ve all been searched.”

“Where the HELL have you been, Nes?” A year away hadn’t changed Jack one bit, though yelling at her did seem to take more effort. He must be injured.

“Well, geez Jack, I missed you, too.” She turned to hand her bags to the airman next to her. “But if you must know, I was traveling.”

“Traveling? That’s it? Traveling?”

“Well, it’s a big world, Jack.”

He gave up in disgust and she decided to remain silent until they were in General Hammond’s office. It didn’t go much better in there with the yelling and demands for explanations, but in the end they seemed to accept it all as a slight mental break following her torture by Ba’al and fortunately, Jack seemed the most sympathetic. She had a strong feeling that he might have come with her had she asked, at least for a little while, his own mental state not being all that great after dying so many times.

“We’ll have a room set up for you again.”

“Actually, General, I’ve made my own living arrangements this time. Above ground. I can’t stay in a tiny room without even a window anymore.”

“You can’t expect the U.S. government to pay for that.”

“Oh, I don’t. I already own the house, sir.”

“You own a house? And where did you get the money for that?” Suspicion began to take over his tone.

Nes leaned back in her chair casually. “Sir, you didn’t really think that after thousands of years here, Sekhmet wouldn’t have acquired a few assets along the way.”

“How many...assets?”

“Enough.”

“Enough. Hmph. And can we trust you to behave appropriately on your own?”

“If I wished to behave  _ inappropriately _ I wouldn’t have come back.”

The general finally dismissed her and she walked out with Sam.

“So...traveling?” Sam sounded skeptical.

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere. Anywhere.”

“The details you’re giving are just astounding, Nes.”

“Those are the details. I went all over Earth. I lived like I had with Sekhmet.”

Sam turned to look at her in shock.

Nes held up her hands in innocence. “Without the killing. I promise.”

“And you had money to do that? Or did you blow through all of it?”

“No, I probably still have more money now than I did a year ago.” She smirked. “Sekhmet was always a very savvy investor.”

“So all this time, you had access to all of that…”

Nes smiled at her. “Hence the gifts. You understand, Sam. I wasn’t trusted enough to share this information before.”

“And you really didn’t start killing again?”

“Surprisingly, no. I thought about it.” She looked down at her ring for a moment. “A lot. But I just moved on to somewhere new instead and that seemed to help. I don’t know how well I’ll do sticking around here for a long period of time, but being in my house instead of here at the SGC should help.”

Sam had just been about to grab dinner when Nes arrived so the two women made their way to the mess hall as they spoke.

“Well, a lot has happened since you left.” Sam’s voice was hollow and Nes dreaded whatever the major was going to share with her.

“You guys do like to keep busy.”

“I’ll fill you in as we eat. We can take our food up to my lab.”

They entered the mess hall and Nes spotted him immediately, her body freezing and melting on the spot.

Sam tracked her gaze. “You okay?”

“You could have warned me.”

Lt Elliot looked up then and Nes realized she was holding her breath as he stood and approached, genuinely unsure of what his reaction to her presence would be. As he got closer, though, she could sense the change.

“Where’s Lantash?”

“He found a new host.”

“Oh.” What could she possibly say to that?

“Where have you been?”

“Traveling.”

“Traveling?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You let us all think you’d been kidnapped or killed.” His voice got louder. “You let us all worry. Do you have any idea how long they looked for you? How long  _ I _ looked for you after that? And all you can say is that you were traveling?”

Nes straightened up to her full height. “You’re not my mother, Lieutenant.” Sekhmet’s smirk appeared. “And actually, my own mother thinks I’m dead, so you really shouldn’t expect special treatment.” She turned to the major still next to her. “Sam, I’ve had a long day of  _ traveling _ and reprimands. I think I’ll just head home. See you tomorrow.”

Nes gave Elliot one last look and then left for the elevator, struggling to process her feelings over the last few minutes. She resolved to at least wait until she was roaring along in her Mustang to think about it, but out on the road, it was quickly apparent that a car was following her. Of course, that was expected and she didn’t bother trying to lose them, driving straight home and pulling into the garage. Now that they knew where she lived, she found she was glad she wouldn’t have to sneak around.

A shower, clean clothes, and the majority of a bottle of wine later, she finally allowed her mind to turn back to Elliot. He was without Lantash now. He was alone. She wondered if they missed one another. They must, because she missed Sekhmet. She’s not sure she could have ever separated from her had Sekhmet been a Tok’ra.

Her doorbell rang and she took the bottle of wine with her, figuring it was some random airman who needed to confirm that she did, in fact, live in the house and she was fine with appearing a bit tipsy. The silhouette in the frosted window definitely seemed to confirm her suspicion and she opened it without peeking out the side window first.

“Elliot.”

“Hi.”

“You followed me.”

“Yeah.”

“That was a while ago.” She leaned to look behind him and saw a car parked in the circular drive past the courtyard behind him. “Have you just been driving around?”

“I was trying to think of what to say.”

“And what did you come up with?”

“Nothing.”

He stepped through the doorway, bringing both hands up to her face and pulling her into a deep kiss. One hand moved into her hair as the other slid down her back, the kiss filled with hunger and anger and desperation. Nes forgot all about the bottle still in her hand, letting it slip out of her fingers, and hit the tile floor. It shattered, surprising both of them and Nes took a step back with her bare foot straight onto a shard of glass.

She screamed and the pain made her leg give out under her, but Elliot caught her before she fell. Blood began covering the floor around her feet and he scooped her up to prevent her from stepping on any more glass.

“Where to?”

Nes nodded towards the double doors behind her. “Bedroom doors right there.”

He raised his eyebrows at her.

“I have a healing device in my nightstand.”

Elliot set her down on the bed and quickly found the goa’uld hand device in the drawer.

“The bathroom’s right over there,” she said through a clenched jaw. “Probably need to wash the blood off.”

Elliot picked her up again and took her through the arched doorway to the bathroom, kicking a nearby chair over towards the clawfoot tub for her to sit on.

He rinsed the foot off and Nes had to grasp the chair to keep herself from kicking him.

“I’ll need to pull the shard out first. Ready?”

Nes nodded and grit her teeth, but it didn’t stop a slew of curses from spilling out. “Can you heal it?”

“Yes. Lantash taught me how.” He slipped the device on his hand. “Just hold still, okay?”

She nodded again and he reached out to take her foot.

Nes slowly felt the pain subside and her body began to relax. He finished and inspected her foot, pressing gently where the wound had been, but it seemed to be completely healed.

Only then did she take note of the large blood trail that followed them into the bathroom. Elliot, turning to see what she was looking at, began to apologize, but she cut him off.

“There are few places I’ve lived that haven’t been decorated with blood at some point. It’s just not usually mine.”

His face told her his thoughts and she bit her lip.

“I’ll go get the mop,” she said quietly as she began to stand.

“You sit. I’ll get it.”

“I’m fine and you have no idea where it is.”

“Your foot may not be cut anymore, but you still lost quite a bit of blood.” He finally picked her up again. “You can help me find cleaning supplies.”

“I’m guessing this wasn’t how you pictured the evening.”

“Well...I did get to kiss you and carry you to your bed.” He winked at her and she laughed, the recent events combined with alcohol and blood loss knocking down her guard quite a bit.

Eventually the glass and wine and blood were all cleaned up and the two sunk into the sofa in front of the fireplace in the living room.

“So whose house is this anyway?”

“It’s mine.”

“Yours? How?”

“Well, it was Sekhmet’s so it’s mine now.”

“And the Mustang?” He grinned at her.

“Also mine. One of my favorites, actually.”

“You have more?”

“More what? Cars in general or Mustangs specifically?”

Elliot’s eyebrows went up. “Umm...both?”

Nes laughed. “Yes. To both.”

“So when you said you were traveling...you didn’t mean backpacking across the country staying in hostels and working odd jobs?”

Nes gave him a rather haughty look. “Absolutely not.”

Elliot grew serious. “So why’d you come back?”

Nes shrugged. “Bored...lonely.”

Elliot’s eyes examined her face carefully. “I would have gladly provided you company. And entertainment.”

Nes wasn’t sure if it was the diminishment of her inhibitions by the wine or the sheer desperation of over a year of intense loneliness, but when he leaned forward to resume the kiss from earlier, she couldn’t think of any of the reasons to stop him. She was quick to pull his shirt off, wanting to pretend they were back at Yu’s palace and that she’d never sent him away, that that night hadn’t been so long ago, that they weren’t different people now.

When she reached for his belt, though, Elliot stopped and looked at her. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m….mildly tipsy,” she said as she tried to kiss him again, but he pulled back.

“There wasn’t very much wine on the floor when that bottle broke.”

“Well, it was mostly empty.” She again tried to pull him back down towards her, but he resisted again.

“I need some water.”

He got up and went to the kitchen and Nes could hear cabinet doors banging open and closed as he hunted for a glass. She followed, finding him leaning over the sink splashing his face and she let a hand trail down his bare back. He jumped like she’d stabbed him.

“Not like this, Nes.”

She couldn’t stop the hurt of rejection from crossing her face and he reached out to hug her.

“I want to...damn, I want to...but I want  _ you _ , not the bottle of wine.” The doorbell rang. “You expecting someone else?”

Nes had to think for a moment. “I ordered a pizza before you came.” She grabbed her wallet off the island and went to the side door, making sure to give the delivery boy a nice tip and a smile.

The smell shifted her thoughts considerably. “Mmmm...I haven’t had pizza in so long.”

“Where were you?” He was putting his shirt back on and she internally pouted for a moment.

“The last few months, I’ve been in India, Southeast Asia, China a bit, South Pacific, and such. Amazing food, but not great pizza.” Her smile widened as she opened the box.

“Not great pizza offworld either,  _ surprisingly _ . The Tok’ra just can’t get the hang of it. I’m worried Lantash will miss it now, too.”

Nes grabbed a few plates for them. “How can you stand it? Don’t you miss him?”

“Only a former host would ask that. Everyone else comments on how great it must be to have my head and body to myself again, but even you know it’s not that simple.”

“After this last year, I can see why Sekhmet wanted a companion, not just a host. I was surrounded by people, but then I’d move on to the next place and have to start all over. I missed the laughing about how this new person reminds us of this other person from three locations back. Or how we liked the food better here instead of there.” She let her mind wander a bit. “I don’t know how Sekhmet stood it for thousands of years.”

“Yeah, it’s been quite the adjustment. So often I try to talk to him and then remember he’s gone.”

“It wasn’t his fault, Kevin. It was mine.”

He finished chewing the pizza in his mouth. “I know he had no choice. That’s not why we separated.”

“Why then?”

He took a deep breath. “Lantash still had strong feelings for Major Carter and I wasn’t willing to share my body for him to pursue that. Plus, he knew there was no way she’d be okay with...fraternizing with a subordinate...or his body at least. It was just all too weird.”

“Have you seen him much since?”

“Yeah, we keep in touch. You can’t just...stop, ya know?”

“Uh huh. I often wish I could talk with Sekhmet again. I still have all her memories and obviously her personality isn’t really gone, but it’s not the same as a conversation.”

“No.” Elliot chuckled softly. “There’s no way I could have predicted this is how my life would be now.”

Nes laughed in response. “No. Same here. Blending with Sekhmet certainly changed where I was going.”

“Damn. Yeah. I mean, I at least learned about the existence of aliens and such before becoming a host. You...you went from nothing to everything.” He looked up at her. “Speaking of learning about aliens, have you contacted your brother yet? He’s been pretty worried, too.”

Again it hit her how little she thought of her family. “No, I haven’t. It’s honestly hard to remember he’s my brother when he’s not around. Tessa just feels so far away now.”

“Well, you should call him or go see him. Or invite him here. He’s gonna start hitting you up for money once he sees this place, though.” He gave her a pointed look.

She laid the sarcasm on thick. “Oh no. You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him.”

“Scared you’ll go broke?”

“Probably just in pizza money alone.” They both laughed together, but Nes got lost in thought for a few moments. “ _ Should _ I tell him? I mean...how would that change him?”

Elliot shrugged. “How has it changed you?”

“Oh, I’m a giant snob now, but the goddess bit probably did most of the damage there.”

“Well, I don’t think you’d be able to keep it from him forever.”

“Probably not. It’s just weird with him. He looks at me and still sees his big sister, the Tessa from before Sekhmet, but...she’s gone.”

“I don’t think she’s as gone as you think.”

She glanced up in surprise.

“I mean, obviously, I didn’t know that version of you, but I highly doubt this side of you is from Sekhmet.”

She gave him a small smile. “Well, you have a way of bringing  _ out _ this side of me.”

“Do I? Well, that’s nice to hear.”

“Don’t get too full of yourself. I hate it most of the time.”

“Why’s that?”

Nes hesitated. He was doing exactly what she hated - somehow managing to melt her. “Because you make me weak.”

“Is that what you think this is?” Elliot reached a hand across to cover hers. “Letting people in doesn’t make you weak, Nes.”

“It does in my world.” And with that she needed him gone. “Maybe you’d better go.”

“Don’t do that.”

“I’m just asking you to leave.”

“No, you’re trying to push me away. You’ve already tried that bullshit on me, remember?”

“It’s been too long. We’re not the same people we were. And even then, it was just because you’d died and you wanted to be close to someone. It didn’t need to be me. Just someone.”

“You can’t honestly believe that.” He let out an exasperated sigh as she crossed her arms. “You are the most aggravating woman sometimes.”

“Then leave.”

Elliot took a slow breath and came around the island. “Okay, maybe you’re right. Maybe we are different now. Of course, we are, but then...we slow down. We start over.” He looked over her face, his eyes glistening. “I was so worried about you, Nes.”

His display of emotion was almost too much for her, but he shifted quickly into a smile.

“Everything that’s happened...I still haven’t taken you out on that date.”

She gave him a small smile and relaxed with the playfulness. Elliot wrapped his arms around her, leaning down to kiss her, but she put a finger to his lips.

“In that case, what makes you think I kiss on the first date?”

“Every single interaction we’ve ever had.”

“Shut up.”

But she let him kiss her anyway, enjoying the chance to pretend for a least a little bit. Maybe he was right, too. Maybe this wasn’t weakness or it was just a different type of weakness than the others she was used to. Loneliness and isolation were their own vulnerabilities, but she’d just accepted them as part of her life.

“I really should go now. Or I won’t stop.” He kissed her on the forehead and started towards the front door.

“Kevin?” She waited until he turned around. “I did regret it. Sending you away, I mean. I’m sorry.”

“Just don’t do anything like that again.”

Nes nodded, but they both knew that she couldn’t really make that promise.

She and life were far too unpredictable.


	7. Chapter 7

Nes woke up the next morning and for the first time in a long while, she found herself looking forward to the day. Usually she woke with a sigh and sometimes a few shots in her coffee.

She got to the SGC and figured she’d stop in to see Teal’c and Jonas since she hadn’t seen them the day before. She went by Jonas’ office, but stopped dead in the doorway. Sitting at the desk wasn’t Jonas, but Daniel.

She couldn’t even come up with words, but eventually he looked up from the book he was reading. “Nes! I heard you were back.” She continued to stare and he took off his glasses. “I’m guessing you didn’t hear  _ I _ was back, though.”

She shook her head. “I clearly missed more than I realized.”

“Yes.” He stood and pointed to a chair. “Want me to fill you in?”

Nes nodded, then sat and listened and tried to take it all in.

Daniel had, in fact, ascended, but in attempting to save Earth and others from Anubis, he’d broken the rules that the other Ascended beings had established. They’d made Daniel human again as punishment and while at first he’d had no memories of his old life, he slowly regained who he had been before with only a few gaps.

Anubis was wreaking havoc on the galaxy, having developed a new soldier for himself. The Kull Warriors were genetically engineered to be the ultimate soldier, especially after they were implanted with goa’uld symbiotes that were left as blank slates. Normally a queen goa’uld would pass on genetic memory to her offspring, but Anubis had a queen who was withholding that knowledge, allowing Anubis to command their complete loyalty. It was truly an ingenious measure to bypass the growing dissent in the Jaffa ranks. The super-soldiers, combined with an energy dissipating suit of armor, were nearly unstoppable.

But the information that rocked her was learning of the death of one of their own. Dr. Frasier had been killed recently when a mission went bad and one of SG-13 was wounded. She gave her life to save his. Nes felt such deep despair at the loss and now understood why the base felt heavy and Sam had looked pale. Colonel O’Neill had been wounded severely during the same events and now she felt guilty for being so flippant when she’d seen everyone yesterday. They were all grieving and healing and she’d shown up with a smile and presents, a cheap Santa costume worn to a funeral.

Teal’c updated her on the state of the Jaffa Rebellion and its separation from the Tok’ra and Tau’ri alliance. Every side seemed to be approaching the Goa’uld threat from too different of an angle and trust between them was simply too difficult for the moment. She was pleased, though, to hear that both Bra’tac and Rak’nor were well and still fighting for the cause. She wished she could see Rak’nor again, apologize in some way, but perhaps someday.

She sighed heavily and made her way up to Sam’s lab. Daniel had caught her up on the big things, the bad things, but it sounded like there was more he left out. Plus, she needed to offer her condolences to Sam now that she knew about Janet’s death.

She came in and stood by Sam’s desk silently. “I just heard, Sam. I’m so so sorry.”

The major looked up with wet streaks down her face.

Nes felt her own tears forming. “I wouldn’t have been so flippant had I known.”

“I know. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Nes sat down on a nearby stool. “I should have been here. I could have tried to save her like Elliot.”

“Nes, you couldn’t have risked that again.”

“Yes, I could. Sam...I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Nes. Really. You can’t save everyone.”

“How’s Cassandra doing?”

“She’s holding up as well as can be expected. Poor girl has lost so many people in her life.”

The two women sat in silence for a few moments until Sam sniffed quietly, shook her head a bit, and sat up straighter with a small smile.

“Are you free Saturday night? We thought we’d take you out to celebrate your return. We need something to celebrate. Plus...I have someone I’d like you to meet.”

Nes looked at her curiously.

“Everyone else has met him. He knows about the Stargate.”

Nes’ eyes widened. “Wait,  _ you _ have a boyfriend?”

“It’s not  _ that _ shocking.”

“Yes, it is, Sam. And yes, Saturday night I’m free.”

“Great.” She hesitated for a moment. “Have you spoken to Lt Elliot again?”

Nes couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face.

“Hmmm....he had the exact same expression this morning during a briefing.” Sam put her chin on her fist and smiled, waiting for an explanation.

“Yeah, he stopped by last night.”

“And…”

“And...we had pizza.”

“Well, I’m sure that’s not even remotely all the details, but I have to get to a meeting so you’re off the hook for now.” She patted the younger woman’s shoulder. “It’s nice to see the two of you smiling.”

Nes ran into Elliot later, who he sent the officers he was with on their way after some not-so-subtle elbows and laughter.

“Any upcoming missions?” she asked.

They stood off to the side of the corridor, trying to ignore the stares of those that passed.

“Tomorrow, but I’ll be back Saturday. Dinner?”

“Actually Sam just invited me out to celebrate my return. And meet her new boyfriend.”

Elliot’s face contorted. “Sorry. I’m jealous. Or Lantash is...was...would be. I’m not.”

Nes just smiled. “It’s okay. I still struggle with complete disgust for the Tok’ra from Sekhmet.”

“I’ve noticed a few times.”

“So does everyone else.” She crossed her arms rather nervously. “Why don’t you come along on Saturday?”

“Sounds good.” He glanced around quickly noting the empty hall and gave her a quick peck before heading off.

She felt entirely silly for the way he made her feel, but could hear Sekhmet’s voice in her head.

_ Pathetic. You would love nothing more than to spend your days watching him smile. I offer you adventure and you’d rather have that boy’s smiles. _

******

Saturday night came up fast and soon they were all making their way to Denver to meet up with Sam’s boyfriend and a few of his friends. They were a bit early, but fortunately the weather had been mild the last few weeks and they could wait for the rest of their group outside. She was glad to see Sam had invited Hailey along, having not seen her in quite a long time, but the two picked up right where they’d left off.

“So...traveling.” Hailey crossed her arms and looked her over. “I heard about your house. I cannot  _ believe _ you let me live in that tiny old shack when you had all that money!”

“Consider it punishment for being so mean to me.” Nes gave her a hug. “Be nice to me and we’ll go on a vacation sometime.”

The group all continued to chat and laugh with one another, enjoying a chance to be free of the stresses of the SGC for a while.

“So what does this Pete do for a living, Sam?” Nes said with a twinkle in her eye.

“He’s a cop actually.”

Nes’ smile faded. “Here in Denver?”

“Uh huh…” Sam looked over her face with confusion, but then her eyes shifted behind the girl with a smile. “Here he is. Hi, Pete.”

Nes turned around and saw a man with dark blonde hair approach Sam and she could tell he likely had a fun sense of humor. Her eyes then shifted to the rest of the people with him and she felt all the blood drain from her face.

He was dead. He was dead. She’d watched him die. She’d killed him.

“Sean.”

There was horror in her voice, but also a deep longing she’d forgotten had once been there.

His eyes grew wide and then filled with recognition, but he didn’t speak.

“Tessa?” Someone else said her old name and she turned to see Jake and Carly. How could they be here? She was having a complete breakdown right here in a restaurant parking lot.

Her eyes went back to Sean, his face covered in confusion, but also hatred and rage. He closed the gap between them and brought a hand to her throat.

Panic filled her voice. “You’re dead. You’re dead. You’re dead.” She kept saying it over and over again, trying to snap herself out of whatever hallucination this was.

“You’re supposed to be dead, too.” His voice sounded just the same and his hand squeezed harder.

Nes noted the chaos around them, the yelling, everyone trying to get Sean to release her, but she didn’t help, so lost in what was real and what wasn’t.

“How can you be here?” he asked with contempt.

Nes fought hard to keep Sekhmet down, the memories of his torture and death still so fresh after so much time.

Jake came alongside them. “Sean never mentioned having a twin brother?”

Twin.

Sean had talked about his brothers, but twin...she’d gotten the impression that he’d had a falling out with the brother closest to him, so he never discussed him.

Twin.

She understood genetics probably better than anyone there, but she still couldn’t wrap her brain around how two people could look so entirely the same, sound the same, move the same.

It was getting hard to breathe and finally Sekhmet was done tolerating her panic. Her eyes flashed and the momentary surprise loosened his grip enough for the others to pull him off. Sekhmet’s smirk formed on her face and she leaned toward Sean’s brother, her voice naturally shifting.

“Twin...I wonder if your  _ screams _ sound the same.”

The outrage that passed over his face would have scared any normal person, but Nes breathed it in. His sudden adrenaline allowed him to break free from the distracted Elliot and Teal’c and he launched himself at her, tackling her to the ground and getting a few punches to her face before the others could grab him again.

Jake had heard her comment as well, though, and he took over where Sean’s brother had left off before Pete got a hold of him. Nes was on the ground, blood dripping onto her shirt and she couldn’t stop the manic laughter. She knew she deserved to be punished for Sean’s death and it felt good to let them deliver at least some of the revenge she knew they wanted.

Jake was yelling at her. “You delivered his hand in a box, you sick bitch.”

His brother had tears down his face. “How could you do that to him? He  _ loved  _ you! He called to tell me he thought he’d found the one.”

That did it. That brought Tessa’s guilt and horror forward, the feelings she never got to experience at the time. She looked up at him with her own tears collecting in her eyes. “I didn’t want to. She  _ made _ me. He  _ begged  _ me!”

She could hear Sam on her phone calling for backup to get everyone back to the SGC. They would need to contain this somehow. Someone tried to help Nes get up, but she pushed them off. She was stuck reliving her time with Sean, watching his brother fight in just the same way he had.

Teal’c took the arm Elliot had been holding onto, Sean’s twin running out of the energy to fight, and Elliot crouched down in front of her.

“Nes…”

She didn’t respond. It was too hard.

“Nes...can you hear me?”

She finally looked at him. “I killed him, Kevin. I killed him. I killed him.” She couldn’t stop the words, repeating them over and over and he leaned forward to pull her into a hug. She hurt everyone she cared about. Elliot would be next. How could he not be? She shouldn’t have come back, but now she didn’t think she’d have the strength to leave again.

“Elliot, can you get Nes back to the base? The rest of us will take Pete and his friends.” He looked up at Sam and nodded before pulling Nes up to her feet and walking her to his car.

*****

“He’s the brother of the man you told me about,” he said as they drove. “The detective.”

“Yes.”

“You okay?”

“No.”

“Did you love him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I had enough control to be in love.” She rubbed her temples. “And can you slit the throat of someone you love?”

“You’ve never had the luxury of the normal relationship issues people struggle through.” He reached over and took her hand. “Things like where to eat, whose friends to double date with, where to go for holidays.” He squeezed her hand and she wasn’t sure what else to say so they just drove in silence.

They got back to the SGC first and General Hammond had come in to deal with the chaos she’d created.

“What happened, Nesert?”

“I was just caught completely off guard, General.”

“Is this likely to happen again?”

“No...Sean was the only one that Sekhmet...toyed with so cruelly. I didn’t know he had a twin.” Her breathing quickened again. “I thought he was a ghost or I was losing my mind. I panicked.”

“They’ll be here soon and we’ll see if Detective Shanahan thinks his friends can be trusted with the truth. It sounds like you confessed to killing him and did your little goa’uld tricks so that eliminates a lot of cover story possibilities.”

“Can I speak to him? To Sean’s brother?”

“Do you really think that would be a good idea?”

“I just...I need him to understand.”

“We’ll see. Go down to the infirmary to have Dr. Frasier look at your face and wait there.”

Elliot was out in the hall waiting for her and walked with her to get checked out. No major damage done, but it was decided they should wait to use the goa’uld healing device until after their guests left. No reason to add to the pile with her face being completely unmarked after the hits she’d taken. She was okay with the pain. It kept Sekhmet down and soothed her conscience a bit.

They called down a few hours later to say she could see Sean’s brother, Ryan, if she still wanted to. She walked in slowly as he sat at the table in the middle of the room, watching her.

“They’re saying an alien lived in your head and that’s what killed Sean.”

She didn’t respond.

“You said  _ you _ killed him.”

“I did.” She was determined not to cower or cry. She would be Nes, not Tessa, not Sekhmet.

“So not the alien?”

“She tortured him until I agreed to kill him.” It physically hurt to see him sitting in front of her. Maybe she had loved Sean. How could she even know at this point? And did it even matter anymore?

“You don’t seem very innocent.”

“I was back then.”

“And now? Now you’d like to see if my screams sound like my brother’s.”

Sekhmet’s smirk couldn’t be held back. “She left a part of herself that would  _ very _ much like that.”

“Why aren’t you locked up?”

“I don’t kill for sport anymore.” She moved closer to him and he stood, coming around the table.

“Anymore?”

She shrugged, slipping further into Sekhmet’s mannerisms. “It’s been a hard habit to break.”

“Why Sean?”

“Because I liked him. She wanted to torture  _ me _ . His pain was only a means to that.”

He dragged a hand down his face. “Was it ever you with him? Or just the alien?”

“It was me sometimes...if I behaved.”

“And did you love him?” He searched her face and she remembered that Sean’s brothers were all cops as well.

“I don’t know. I didn’t want him to suffer. I tried to save him. I miss him.”

He let her reach out a hand to touch him and she moved it up his chest and around to the back of his neck. How often during those years with Sekhmet had she wished for another chance to be in Sean’s arms? Now he was here in front of her and she couldn’t resist pulling him down to kiss her.

She was Tessa again, young and innocent and wanting only his smiles and kisses and arms, but a quick bang on the glass of the observation room startled them and she looked up to see Elliot, a fist on the window.

She blinked for a few moments and then looked at Ryan, suddenly noting how much older he looked than Sean and how his eyes were just a slightly different color. Sean would be this old now. He’d have a few gray hairs and wrinkles from smiling. She began to wonder what her life would have been like with him. If she had been real then. Ryan seemed to be in a trance, just watching her, likely trying to figure out if any of this was actually happening. Her hand caressed his cheek gently.

“I’m sorry.” She began to leave when she paused and spoke over her shoulder. “Ryan...how did Sean get the scar on his hand?”

He cleared his throat. “I pretended to be him once in college...kissed his girlfriend. He punched a mirror when he found out, but I think he was glad that scar set us apart more after that.”

“Sounds like I killed the wrong twin.” Her voice was hollow and she knew it was a cruel thing to say, but the information he’d share only deepened her guilt.

Sean never should have died and she could never take it back.

She walked out quickly, needing to get as far away from him as fast as possible. She took off at a run down the hall, but Elliot caught up to her as she got to the elevators.

“What was that?” He grabbed both her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

“I need to go home.” She squirmed to get away and he released her.

“I’ll drive you.” He pushed the button for the elevator.

“I’ll walk.”

“Don’t be stupid, Nes. You really think I’m going to leave you alone after what happened tonight?”

“What? Need to make sure I’m not going to kiss anyone else?”

“Nes, I’m worried about you. It’s not up for discussion anyway. Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the elevator as it opened.

Nes decided childishness was the best way to handle this. The silent treatment would go a long way towards chastising him for not just leaving her alone.

They rode the elevator in silence, walked to his car in silence, drove to her house in silence, went inside in silence, and then she promptly slammed the door to her bedroom and took a long shower in silence.

She took the time to heal most of the injuries to her face once she got out and was pleased that her face was back to normal now, though she wondered if she should have forced herself to heal slowly instead.

Hunger and exhaustion finally wore away at her anger and she came out to the living room to find Chinese food in the kitchen, taking her back to that night in Sean’s apartment. That night when she’d realized he was going to die and her hands would be what killed him. She’d had no idea that she would be the one actually controlling those hands, though. She should have screamed to him to get away, but she would never have gotten the words out and he never would have left her on her own. 

She found Elliot asleep on the couch, his head at an awkward angle that made her stomach lurch, remembering how he’d looked surrounded by dead jaffa on Revanna.

She sat next to him, running her fingers through his hair. He stirred and opened his eyes. “You talking to me now?”

“That wasn’t talking, but yes.”

“You kissed him,” he said flatly.

“I know.” She sighed. “You have to understand...Sean...he was the first person I spoke to after Sekhmet took me and the last one to say my name until we were captured. He was the last one to know Tessa when she was innocent.” She let her head sink down into her hands. “The things she did to him...the way he looked at me...I couldn’t listen to him scream anymore. But then after I killed him...I can’t tell you how often I wished I could see him again.”

She took a deep breath and went on. “He was the reason I decided to fight Sekhmet. I wasn’t going to endure killing someone I cared about again. But seeing his face tonight...I know it wasn’t him, but it  _ felt _ like him.”

“Did you have to kiss him, though?”

Nes sat up straighter. “Are you telling me that if Jolinar or one of her hosts walked through that door, the Lantash parts of you wouldn’t want to kiss her?”

“That’s not the same. Those are Lantash’s feelings. These are  _ yours _ . You can’t blame your feelings for Sean on Sekhmet.”

“No. These feelings are Tessa’s.”

“You  _ are _ Tessa. I know you changed your name, but if you’re not Sekhmet, you have to be Tessa.”

“Tessa died with Sean.”

“Is that really what you think?”

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t. He got to stay himself with Lantash, but Nes didn’t. And then what Sekhmet did to her...she had too much of Sekhmet left in her head, in her body, to ever be Tessa again. She pretended for a while, called herself the same name for too long, but the real Tessa had been gone for years now. Too many years. And she wasn’t coming back.

“This is who I am, Elliot. Nesert.” Her voice took on an edge. “I know it’s hard for you to understand as a  _ Tok’ra _ host, but it wasn’t the same with Sekhmet. I survived, but not as Tessa. She couldn’t survive. She was too weak, too scared, too...good. If I had stayed Tessa, I’d have died as Tessa.”

Elliot flung himself back into the couch in frustration. “So you have these two perfect scapegoats for everything you do. Sekhmet made you do this and Tessa made you do that. How convenient.”

Nes felt her jaw drop at his words before anger rose up inside her chest. “Get. Out.” She got up and walked towards the stairs leading to the side door, waiting for him to follow, but he still sat on the couch. “I’m not kidding, Lieutenant. Get out. Don’t come back.”

He stood and came over to where she stood. “Lieutenant? Really? Can you at least let me have a moment to be pissed that I had to watch you kiss another guy today?” He crossed his arms in defiance. “I would say I’m generally pretty understanding, but yeah, I have a jealous streak.”

“I saw that with my brother. It was cute then.”

“It’s still  _ cute _ .”

They both just stood throwing their own respective tantrums and finally Nes gave up. “I’m going to bed. Do what you want.” She stormed off to her bedroom and hoped she’d be able to sleep.

The first part of the night she spent raging against his complete lack of understanding of what was done to her. The second part was spent wondering if he was somehow right.

He didn’t see the constant battle in her head, the endless fight with Sekhmet’s influence, and the exhausting tug by Tessa’s old life. They both left too much behind to be ignored, but not enough for either to claim total dominance. Every decision was a choice between personalities, sometimes easy, sometimes hard, sometimes made for her as if the two sides had already agreed which one would rule in that moment. Too often she felt completely at the whim of the minds that used to interact with conversations, but now could only express themselves with needs and desires and memories.

But she couldn’t tell him. He’d know she wasn’t like him. She wasn’t just another former host with a few memories and feelings of her old symbiote.

She was different.

Sleep wasn’t coming so she finally ventured quietly down to the wine cellar for a bottle and then the kitchen for a glass.

Elliot was already there with a beer.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” He took a swig of his beer and she noted several empty bottles on the counter.

“Clearly not.” Nes decided she wanted a beer instead of wine and went to the fridge for one, but as she walked past his chair on her way to the living room, he reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“I’m sorry, Nes. You’re right. Your experience as host wasn’t the same as mine.” He spun his chair and pulled her down onto his lap. “I know things will always be a bit complicated with us. We’re not normal people with normal pasts.”

“I’m not trying to blame Sekhmet and Tessa for things, but it’s confusing having all their memories in my head.”

“And you really don’t see yourself as Tessa?”

“No. Sekhmet made me too much like her and...I don’t know...maybe I just like the idea that Tessa is still intact in my head somewhere even if it’s not as me anymore.” That seemed a reasonable explanation.

She stood, but took his hand and pulled him into the living room where they both plopped onto the couch.

“You need a comfier couch.”

“Agreed.” She put her feet up on the coffee table and took a drink. “I’ll find one next week.”

“In the meantime…” He took the bottle out of her hand and placed it on the coffee table before leaning down to kiss her.

She could taste the beer and knew she needed to stop him so she pushed him back and smiled. “I want you, not the beer.”

“You can have both.” He kissed her neck, his hands moving under her shirt and up her back.

“What happened to taking it slow?”

He nuzzled her neck playfully. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am extraordinarily bad at taking it slow with you.”

She laughed. “I have noticed actually.” His hands started hunting for new territory and she changed her tone to a gentle reprimand. “Kevin…”

“Nes…” He mimicked her voice, but didn’t stop kissing her. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“It’s been less than a week.”

“No, it’s been two years since we met and nearly that long since you saved me. Since that night in Yu’s palace. Since that morning.”

Two years. It can’t have been that long. So much had happened since then. She’d lived as Sekhmet with Yu, been captured and tortured by Ba’al, made an alliance with him, traveled the world, and was still keeping the System Lord in her back pocket as a future option. There was still a good chance she was going to betray everyone, including Elliot.

She pushed him off more forcefully, breathing hard in a panic. “I don’t want to.”

He looked at her in surprise. “I’m sorry, Nes.” He rubbed his eyes. “You’re right. I’ve had too much to drink.” He leaned back against the couch. “I’d go home, but I can’t drive.”

“Maybe a cold shower then.” She smiled. “I’m going to try getting at least a little sleep.”

She gave him a quick peck and went back to her room to escape, debating on a shower for herself as well.

******

When she came out in the morning, Elliot was downing coffee and looking generally miserable. She came up behind him and rubbed his neck gently.

“I never drink that much,” he said.

“Now you’ll have to say that you  _ rarely _ drink that much.”

“I’m sorry, Nes.”

“Oh, I’m not complaining. I’ve never minded kissing you.”

“Well, that’s good, but you know what I mean.”

“I do and now we’re roughly even, right?”

He chuckled and then groaned.

“Kevin...would you have regretted it?”

He pulled out the chair next to him and she sat. “No and yes. No, because…” He lifted his eyebrows suggestively. “...because. But yes...you know blending with a symbiote is complicated. Lantash and Martouf had very strong feelings on...commitment. I mean, they were with Jolinar and her hosts for nearly a hundred years. Outside of the heat of the moment, I really  _ do _ want us to know for sure that we want to be together and at this point, we really haven’t had enough time to figure that out.”

“No. We’ve been in each other’s actual presence very little.”

“ _ Very _ little, though it’s all been very...intense.”

Nes chuckled. “Yes. Just a bit.”

“Taking it slow, take two?”

“I think that means setting up a few ground rules, because if we keep ending up here alone…”

“Uh huh.” He leaned over and kissed her neck.

“You’re terrible.”

“I am, yes.” He continued to kiss her neck until Nes twisted away and went to get a cup of coffee for herself.

“Do you have to be at the base today?”

“Tomorrow. How about a date today? Like a regular date with a regular meal at a regular restaurant?”

Nes had to laugh at that. “Can we even do regular anymore?”

“Maybe not, but we can give it a go.” He looked her over. “We definitely can’t stay here. Seriously. I’m going to go home now, grab a shower, and change. I’ll come pick you up for lunch around noon. That work?”

“Sounds good.” She lifted her face as he came by to give her a quick kiss.

Elliot came back later and they had as normal a time as they could, though he realized quickly that while people didn’t know about their former lives as alien hosts, his date was still The Butcher.

“I keep forgetting you’re an infamous serial killer,” he whispered to her as he noticed more people staring.

“Yeah, it does tend to slip the mind, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose you’re used to it.”

She wasn’t. She’d never be.

Elliot brought up her brother again while they were eating and Nes finally agreed to go see him, though it was more to end the conversation than anything else.

As they were driving back to her house, though, Nes noted they were taking quite a detour.

“Where are we going?”

“To see your brother.”

“What? Now? Kevin, I said I’d go see him.”

“Yep, so why not now?” He gave her a mischievous smile and Nes had to be a bit impressed by his trickery.

She groaned, but didn’t object again.

“The truth is, I was already planning to meet up with Nathan tonight for a beer. He’s going to be graduating soon, you know.”

Her head whipped towards him. “No. That can’t be possible. He was just finishing his sophomore year!”

“Nes, it’s been two years!”

He was right, of course, but Nes still was trying to wrap her head around her baby brother graduating from the academy.

“What’s he going to do next?”

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck, but didn’t respond.

“Kevin...what’s he going to do next?”

“Oh look, we’re here.” He parked the car and jumped out quickly, coming around to her side to open the door. “I didn’t tell him you were back, by the way.”

“Well, aren’t you just withholding information left and right?” she said as she got out of the car and crossed her arms.

Elliot raised his eyebrows. “Do you really want to get into a discussion about withholding information, Nes?”

She put her arms back down to her sides and cleared her throat. “Oh look, we should go in.”

“That’s what I thought,” Kevin muttered, but he took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “Come on.”

Halfway across the parking lot, Nes stopped walking and Elliot turned to her in confusion.

“He’s Tessa’s brother...I should probably not walk in there looking like...me.” She let go of his hand and dug through her purse quickly to pull out a pair of glasses and pulling up her hair. She could do more, but it was really enough for a dimly lit bar and she still wanted to be as much Tessa as she could for Nathan.

Nes saw him sitting at the bar, a beer in front of him, and she had to fight back the reprimand for drinking, but of course, he was old enough now. How could he be old enough now? She was suddenly overwhelmed with questions about the rest of her family. She’d never even spared the curiosity to look them up, so good at separating herself from their Tessa.

Kevin slapped a hand onto Nathan’s shoulder. “Hey, man. Brought you a surprise.”

Nathan spun his chair around with hopeful eyes and jumped up quickly, pulling her into a big bear hug before putting his hands on her arms and pushing her away from him so he could look at her with a stern expression.

“Where the  _ hell _ have you been?”

Nes rolled her eyes. “Did you guys coordinate these attacks? We’re not having this conversation here, Nathan.”

He looked around, remembering where they were. “Fine.” His face softened into a smile. “I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Well, thank you.”

Both men shook their heads at her, but Nathan grabbed his beer and directed them to a booth in the corner.

“When did you get back from wherever you were that we’re not discussing?”

“Just last week.” She decided to direct the conversation before Nathan could interrogate her. “You’re graduating soon.”

“Yeah. Crazy, right?”

“So what’s next for you?” She asked it casually, but both Nathan and Kevin tensed. “Kevin refused to tell me. Put it all on you.”

“Thanks, man,” Nathan said as he leaned back. “I’m going to start the Combat Rescue Officer training program.”

“Combat Rescue? How can that possibly be safe?”

He shrugged, but Kevin raised his eyebrows at her brother’s casual attitude.

“Nathan…”

“Nes, it’s rescuing people during combat. It’s  _ not _ safe.”

“What the hell, Nathan?”

“What?”

“Why?”

“I want to. I’ll be good at it.”

“How can you do this to mom and dad? They’ve already lost one child.”

Nathan’s face went hard and he put a finger in her face. “Don’t you  _ dare _ put that on me,  _ Tessa. _ ”

“What if something happens to you?”

“Asks the girl who just disappeared for two years.”

“That’s different,” she said through clenched teeth.

“You’re right. At least you’ll know where I am.”

Kevin put a hand on her arm. “Nes…what would you rather he do? Join the SGC? That’s hardly a safe option. Hell...think of how my first mission went.”

“What happened?” Nathan asked before taking another drink.

“Classified.”

“Right. Like I’m not sitting here with my dead sister,” he said in a low voice.

Kevin smiled. “Let’s just say it didn’t exactly go as planned.” Nes felt his body stiffen next to her. “And I had to leave Nes behind.”

Nathan’s brotherly instincts roared to life. “ _ You _ left her? How could you do that?”

Kevin’s head dropped at the accusation.

“Nathan, it wasn’t Kevin’s fault. I forced him to go. He didn’t have a choice.”

“I don’t care. You should have done something. You should have brought her home.”

Kevin slapped his hand onto the table, making several other patrons turn towards them. “Don’t think for one second that I haven’t spent two years trying to think of what I could have done differently.”

“Both of you stop. Kevin, there was nothing you could have done. Nathan, shut up.”

They both glared for another second, but then began to relax again.

“Good. New topic.”

“Okay, Elliot said you came back, but then left again. You couldn’t just let us know where you were going?”

“That’s barely a new topic...but I wasn’t...myself.”

“What does that even mean? Where did you go?”

“I tried to help a friend...we got captured.” She knew her face was starting to reflect the horror of that time. “When we escaped...Nathan, I just needed time.”

“What happened while you were captured, Nes?”

Sekhmet’s smirk appeared. “Use your imagination.”

Kevin slipped his arm around her shoulders. “How about a genuinely new topic?”

Nes slammed back her beer and took a deep breath. “How is everyone?”

Nathan spent the rest of their time updating her. Janie had a little boy and was expecting their second. Kate had a little girl a few months back who everyone said looked a lot like Tessa and Nes wondered if her older sister secretly hoped the similar appearance didn’t continue as her daughter got older.

Nathan gave her a big hug as they left and she promised to try to see him a few more times before he graduated. He and Kevin shook hands and Nes was glad they got along so well. Kevin was really a better sibling to him than she was anyway. Of course, that friendship didn’t stop Nathan from gripping Kevin’s hand tightly and telling him to behave with his sister.

At the end of the night, Kevin dropped her off and walked her to her door, but they both resisted the temptation for him to come in for a bit.

Barely.

Taking things slowly was going to be a constant effort.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 7.19 “Resurrection”

They settled into a routine in the next couple weeks, with Nes deciding to work on the dissertation she’d abandoned. She set herself up in Sam’s lab most days, but when the major was away and Elliot was on base, he would sneak up to visit her. The more she was with him, the more she believed that she could force Sekhmet into a lesser role in her life.

“It’s really good you’re not living on base anymore,” Elliot said as he kissed her during a break one day.

“Yeah, you visiting me in a room with a bed is not exactly conducive to taking things slow.”

“Not at all.” He pulled her closer, but they both jumped as the door opened.

“Sam,” Nes choked out.

The major stood in the doorway with raised eyebrows in surprise.

“Hi.” Sam had just a hint of a smile in her eyes.

“Hi.” Both Nes and Elliot responded, Nes with embarrassment and Elliot with shame. She wondered if Lantash’s residual feelings for Sam left him feeling like he’d just been caught cheating.

“I was just leaving, Major. Sorry.” He turned to Nes quickly. “I’ll see you later.”

“That’s taking it slow?” Sam whispered after Elliot had left.

“I said we were  _ trying _ to take it slow...I never said we were any good at it.” Nes could feel the heat in her cheeks and Sam chuckled at her.

“Well, I just got a call from Agent Barrett with the NID and he says they found something we might find interesting out in LA. They need our help.”

“LA? And he didn’t say what it was?”

“No. I guess I’ll find out when I get there. Jack’s sitting this one out. He hasn’t been cleared for active duty yet, but Daniel and Teal’c are coming along with me.”

“Well, have fun.”

“Oh, of course. See ya later.”

Sam took off and Nes settled in for a long day of working. A quick lunch with Elliot was interrupted by General Hammond, though, and she followed him out into the hall.

“What’s going on, General?”

“Major Carter just called. It seems your presence is requested out in Los Angeles.”

“Me? What for?”

“They’ve found a rogue NID sleeper cell who acquired quite a lot of artifacts that Dr. Jackson says belonged to Sekhmet.” He paused for a few moments. “And it was run by Dr. Keffler.”

Nes felt the two sides of her in strong conflict. Her body remembered the pain and shrunk away, but the hatred she felt for the man was stronger. The torture may have dulled her need to kill, but this wouldn’t be done out of need. She would kill him for revenge, for sheer pleasure.

“I can be ready to go within the hour.” She kept Sekhmet’s prowl out of her voice as best as she could.

“Dr. Lee will also be accompanying you. Apparently there’s a bomb that needs diffusing.”

“Well, that’s lovely.”

“If you don’t want to go…”

“It’s not a problem, General.” She gave him a smile before he told her to be back in an hour to leave.

Nes popped back into the mess hall to inform Elliot who looked concerned at her excitement and followed her as she walked back up to Sam’s lab.

“Nes, this guy tortured you.”

“Yeah, lots of people have. What’s your point?”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to a stop. “Nes.” He waited until she turned back to him and then lowered his voice to a whisper after looking around. “You’re going to kill him, aren’t you?”

She smirked. “Well, I did already promise him I would. I’d hate to go back on my word.”

“Nes..” He put his hand on her shoulders. “You don’t have to be that person anymore.”

“It’s not that simple and you know it.” She twisted to free herself and went inside Sam’s lab to grab her bag. “I need to go home quick to pack.”

Elliot blocked her path. “Try to come back the same. Please.”

She looked over his face and smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”

She leaned forward to give him a quick peck, but he pulled her into a longer kiss. “Remember this, okay?”

She nodded and stepped around him to leave, knowing she couldn’t promise him anything and really mean it. Nes went ahead and preemptively set things up for a prolonged stay in the LA area while she packed a bag at her house. She’d likely need some time to try finding herself again before coming home. Was this home? She hadn’t referred to anywhere as home in so very long, but she’d have to think about the implications of that at a different time.

Not too long later, she was standing outside a rather abandoned looking warehouse. Of course, the guards surrounding the location along with the helicopters circling gave it a more lived in feel. She and Dr. Lee were greeted by a man who introduced himself as Agent Malcolm Barrett and Nes slipped into Sekhmet slightly as she took in his sandy blonde hair and lean body looking sharp in a suit and tie. He observed her cautiously and she gave him a slight smirk.

“I hear you’re holding an old friend of mine.”

“More than one it seems.” Nes raised her eyebrows in curiosity and the NID agent motioned for them to follow. “I’ll let Major Carter explain.”

He led them down dark corridors and rickety stairs, stopping first in a storage room where Teal’c and Daniel were staring at an ark. Nes looked around at the shelves bursting with various artifacts, drawn to the closest one where she picked up a small gold statue.

“Nefertum.” Her voice was quiet but filled with affection. She smiled and let her hand gently caress the miniature face.

“Do you recognize these, Nes?” Daniel asked.

She looked up, remembering their presence. “Umm…” She looked around the room. “Nothing specific so far, just a vague sense of familiarity. I’d have to dig for these memories, I think.”

“How about the ark?”

Nes walked closer to it. “Not off hand. I can do some searching.”

“Well if you could find the deactivation code, that would help us out quite a bit.”

She nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Dr. Lee, we’ll leave you to look over the ark. Miss James...Saeda, sorry, if you’ll follow me.”

He led her even deeper into the complex until they came to a small door which opened to a makeshift lab.

“Well, this isn’t creepy at all,” she commented as she looked around.

“That’s what I said.” Sam looked up from the computer she was working on. “Glad you’re here, Nes.”

“So what’s going on? What’s Keffler been up to?”

Sam sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “Why don’t you sit?”

Nes folded her arms and cocked her head to the side in annoyance. “Why don’t you tell me what he did?”

The major looked at her for a few more breaths before standing and coming around the desk. “ Keffler spliced human ovum with DNA taken from a goa'uld.”

“Let me guess...Sekhmet’s DNA. That he got from a canopic jar.”

“Right.  **This girl’s a goa’uld-human hybrid in essence. They were trying to create a human who could tell them everything a Goa'uld would know. They didn't want to wait either so they used goa’uld nanite technology from Area 51 to grow her rapidly.** ”

“From the planet Argos.”

“Yeah.  **It took them forty-five failures. The previous attempts either didn't blend properly, or they grew too fast and died. The technology had to be modified so that the human could slowly learn to gain access to the genetic knowledge buried in her DNA.** ” Sam paused and cleared her throat. “ **They tortured the poor girl,** Nes.  **Sensory deprivation. Electrocution.** ”

Nes finally sat down and rested her hands on top of her head. “That’s my fault.”

“Why?” Agent Barrett asked.

“When Keffler kidnapped me, he wanted access to Sekhmet’s knowledge. He started torturing the lieutenant that was with me.” She shifted uncomfortably. “I told him that would only trigger sympathy. He needed rage and hatred to bring Sekhmet out.” She looked up at Sam. “I didn’t know he had her DNA then. I was just trying to save Hailey.”

“You couldn’t have known what he was up to, Nes.”

“Why didn’t he just come after me again, though? Why all of--” she motioned to the lab around her, “--this?”

“I’m guessing you were a lot less cooperative than they were hoping this project would be.”

“And how’s that going for them?”

“She escaped and killed thirty-two people,” said the NID agent hollowly.

Nes couldn’t stop a smile. “Really? How interesting.”

“Apparently, the girl, Anna, has an entirely separate personality for Sekhmet,” Sam said.

Nes felt her body going cold. Sekhmet was  _ here _ .

Agent Barrett released a tired sigh. “She killed those people, set the bomb, likely intending to use it as leverage since Keffler convinced her he had the power to make her the primary personality, but she couldn’t maintain control long enough to finish her plan.”

“Do you think you can get Anna to let her out? Maybe convince Sekhmet to tell us how to shut off the bomb?” Sam asked.

“You want me to convince that girl to let Sekhmet take control.” Her throat felt dry as she spoke. The horror of what they were asking was beyond what even they realized. “There’s no guarantee that she’d be able to regain her position as the primary personality.”

Sam ran a hand through her hair. “I know. It’s awful, but we have to shut off that bomb. Millions could die if it goes off.”

Nes crossed her arms. “And what’s one girl destroyed by Sekhmet? Or maybe two? I wonder if Keffler justified himself the same way.”

Sam hung her head. “Nes, I don’t know what else to do.”

“Don’t worry. You know I’ll do it. Would you prefer me to be manipulative or simply cruel?” Sam stayed silent. “Whichever one gets results. Got it.” Nes turned to Barrett. “Let’s go.”

Sam stood suddenly. “And Nes? Stay away from Keffler.”

Nes was all innocence. “Of course.”

And Sam was all suspicion. “I mean it, Nes.”

She held up her hand in a mock vow. “I will stay away from him...for now.”

Nes followed Agent Barrett out and he took her upstairs and down a long hall to a heavy door with a guard. As they passed through, Nes took a deep breath and slipped her ring on, needing to feel the cool metal against her skin. They entered a cavernous room with lights illuminating a large glass box and a woman standing in the center, red hair and a white dress.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he said and went back through the door.

Nes came straight up to the glass and trailed a finger over it as she circled the girl. Anna watched carefully as Nes shifted herself into Sekhmet.

“Who are you?” Anna sounded confused, likely noting the familiarity.

“Someone who knows you  _ very _ well.”

“I don’t know you.”

Sekhmet’s smirk appeared. “Yes, you do.”

Anna turned her back to Nes.

“We’re the same.”

“I don’t know you.” Anna’s voice grew louder and more insistent.

“I want to speak to her. To  _ me _ .”

Anna turned around and her eyes went wide, backing up until she hit the far side of the cell. The collision surprised her and it seemed to have been enough of a distraction. Her head bowed and when she looked up, Nes could see beyond her own reflection in the glass to another reflection of her expression on Anna’s face.

“Hello, Sekhmet.” Nes smirked at her.

“How can you be me?” The copy was clearly repulsed by what was happening.

“Dr. Keffler only had some remnant DNA. I escaped the canopic jar.”

“I survived.”

Nes nodded and her eyes flashed. “Of course. We are survivors. We always survive. Not all of our kind are quite so...savvy.” She shifted into her goa’uld voice. “I have some news that should please you, though. Ra is dead. As is Apophis.”

Sekhmet sat down on the edge of the bed, overwhelmed with relief. “Maahes and Nefertum are avenged.” She took a moment to gather herself again. “What else has occurred?”

Nes folded her arms and leaned casually against the glass returning to her human voice. “Thousands of years have passed. I’ve lived on Earth most of that time.” She smiled seductively. “Sokar finally took a human host.”

Sekhmet returned the smile. “And how was that?”

“Quite delightful actually.” Her smile turned somber. “He’s dead now, too.”

Sekhmet sighed. “Who else?”

“Heru’ur, Hathor, Cronus...Yu won’t last much longer. He’s grown old even for us.”

“And Ptah?”

She shrugged. “You’ve seen him more recently than I have.”

“You’re working with the Tau’ri now?”

Nes winked.

“Surely they wouldn’t trust a goa’uld.”

“Things are...complicated now.” Sekhmet raised her eyebrows and Nes felt a deep sense of melancholy and loss, but she shoved it aside. “I had to survive.”

Sekhmet stood and walked towards her. “What did you do?” Her voice was filled with authority and suspicion.

“This is my last host. Ever.”

“No!” She slammed her hands against the glass. “You didn’t.”

Nes raised her chin. “Sacrifices had to be made.” The smirk returned. “Besides, I am completely trusted by both the goa’uld  _ and _ the humans. I can do no wrong. And the Tau’ri are doing such an excellent job of ridding me of any competition out in the galaxy.”

Sekhmet allowed a sinister look to distort Anna’s face, but Nes knew her own face was showing her feelings of nostalgia. It was like seeing Sean’s twin, though. She wasn’t the Sekhmet Nes had known. She wouldn’t remember the years they’d spent together, the inside jokes, the things they’d shared.

With that realization, she was filled with disgust for this mockery of Sekhmet. She, Nes, was far more Sekhmet than this cheap copy stuffed into a pathetic creature like Anna. She would kill Keffler as slowly as possible for this.

“Tell me how to shut off the ark.”

Sekhmet’s face changed to surprise. “Don’t you know how?”

“Why would I hold onto such useless memories for thousands of years?” She couldn’t keep her revulsion out of her voice.

“What benefit is there to  _ me _ to shut it off?” There was the Sekhmet she knew.

Nes smirked. “Well, there is no way for me to help you escape from here,  _ but _ if the ark is deactivated, they will move you back to their base and from there it will be easy for me to free you. Think of what we could accomplish with two of us.”

“They will relocate me regardless of the destruction left here.”

“It will make a considerable difference in  _ where _ you are sent and the level of security. I would prefer being able to free you  _ and _ maintain my position with the Tau’ri.”

“Why? What reason do you have to remain with them?”

Nes lowered her voice. “I’ve made an alliance with Ba’al. I give him information about the Tau’ri and their operations. He provides information of the galaxy happenings as well as a vast fleet and army. It won’t be long before I’ll be able to join him as his new queen.”

Sekhmet raised her eyebrows. “Ba’al? He was nothing.”

“Was. He is now one of the most powerful System Lords.” She changed to a seductive smile again. “And you should see his current host. Very appealing.”

Sekhmet again mimicked her expression, but then horror crossed her face. “This little bitch. I cannot hold on.”

“Give me the code!”

But it was too late. Anna’s terrified expression had returned, but Nes noted just a hint of Sekhmet’s calculating gaze. The girl was already being poisoned just as Nes had been. She sat down in the far corner of her cell, pulling her knees to her chest, and began to cry quietly.

Nes wouldn’t allow the young woman’s tears to interfere so she immediately turned and exited the room.

“Anything?” Barrett asked as she came through the door.

“Possibly, but Anna took control again.” She chuckled quietly. “It really is rather amusing to see Sekhmet be the one trapped behind another mind.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying all of this,” he said dryly.

“Oh, I am.”

Agent Barrett seemed unnerved by her and she noted that he was seeing The Butcher, not the goa’uld. How odd to be terrified of a mere human when a god was present.

Nes smirked at him again. “I’ll give her some time and then make another attempt. Right now...I’m going to find a quiet spot to see if I can find the deactivation code myself. Excuse me.”

Nes walked off and once she noted the NID agent’s absence, her feet quickly directed her up to Keffler’s holding cell where the guard eyed her suspiciously. For now she would just talk so the guard was safe, though if she changed her mind, he’d be easy to subdue. Still, he agreed to let her speak to the good doctor for a short period of time and it was all she needed.

She sauntered into the room, Sekhmet’s smirk on her face.

“Why! My dear Sekhmet. We meet again.” He was just as she remembered, sinister and smoking.

“I’ve met your little pet.”

“And what did you think of her?”

“Repulsive. A carnival sideshow.”

Keffler smirked back at her as he took another drag off his cigarette, shrugging his shoulders. “I imagine she felt the same about you.”

A long time ago, Sekhmet had taken a host who was highly skilled in sleight of hand and pickpocketing. She’d seen him perform a few shows and was enthralled with the idea of learning it herself. It was a simple task of meeting the magician, of course, but he’d held firm to his secrets and eventually Sekhmet grew tired of his resistance, finally leaving the young woman she’d had as a host for a few years. The tricks she’d learned had come in quite handy and even now, Nes rarely was without a knife or two or three hidden on her body.

She stood mostly still, but watched as Keffler’s eyes noted the sudden appearance of a knife twirling in her fingers. He looked back up to her eyes and she breathed deeply as she took in his fear.

“I made a promise, Doctor.” She kept her voice at just a whisper, moving close enough for him to hear her words.

He swallowed hard. “What do you want?”

“Revenge. Not just for the kidnapping and torture before, but for the abomination you created here. It’s disgusting.  _ She _ is disgusting.”

“Information. Surely that could be useful.”

“I have absolutely no need of your...information. I know all that she knows. More, actually.”

“I can give you information about the NID, some of its more....interesting ventures and connections. I think many of them would be quite valuable to you...and Ba’al.” He smiled innocently, but she knew a threat when she heard one. The communication device she’d used wasn’t considered completely secure, but she hadn’t really worried much about anyone on Earth listening in. Of course, they may have spies within Ba’al’s ranks as well. It was hard to say, but it certainly put her at a disadvantage.

Nes smiled sweetly. “Perhaps an arrangement of some sort can be made. From the looks of it, the NID may be more in line with my usual methods and goals.”

“Get me out of here and I’ll introduce you to the proper people.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but heard footsteps approaching. She turned to see Agent Barrett and Carter, both with angry expressions at her presence. A quick flick of her wrist and the knife in her hand disappeared again and she went to meet them out in the hall.

“Nes, I thought I said to stay away from him.”

“And I agreed to stay away  _ for now _ . It’s no longer now. Well...it is, but it’s not the now back then. It’s the now now.” Nes found that rambling in that way tended to deflect suspicion. It made her look dumb and dumb people do stupid things, not evil things. “I’ll just be going, though.”

Sam gave her a scolding look, but let her pass without objection. Now she definitely needed to find somewhere to sit and sort through Sekhmet’s library of information. Surely information about the bomb was in there and once she found that, she could sort out what to do about the mad scientist and his experiment.

After an hour, she’d found the deactivation codes for two other arks, but those had both been delivered and detonated so the information was still rather worthless. She hoped she was at least in the right era of memories, but she needed coffee and walking before she continued. Wandering down to where Carter was working, she thought more on Keffler’s offer, but the short walk meant she couldn’t delve into her options just yet.

Sam looked up as she entered. “I just got done talking with Keffler.  **Even if we halt the rapid growth effects of the nanites, he didn't isolate the gene that carries the Goa'uld genetic knowledge. There's nothing we can do to stop the Goa'uld DNA from eventually taking over. It will physically overwrite the human** ,  **and nothing I know of will stop it.** ”

“She’ll become Sekhmet entirely.” That lessened her guilt more than it should.

“At first, but then  **she’ll die a horrible and painful death** . Oh, but Keffler was decent enough to place a capsule of biotoxin at the base of her neck that he can activate with a remote control to kill her humanely or something. How evil can someone be?” Sam’s voice was filled with disbelief.

Nes sat down on one of the lab stools. “You’d be surprised. So he has a remote to kill her?” That was interesting and potentially useful information.

“Yeah. Well, he could shock her to cause pain as well, let the Sekhmet personality out or push her back under Anna’s again. Daniel saw it on the tapes. He could have stopped her from killing all those people, but he didn’t.”

“And how are they coming along with the ark?”

Sam sighed. “Not great. We have a lot less time now. Just a few hours. Still nothing on the deactivation code?”

“No. I’ve found other ones, but Sekhmet,  _ my Sekhmet _ …” Sam’s eyebrows shot up at her phrasing “...may have gotten rid of the information once the ark was lost to her.”

“How’d she escape the canopic jar anyway?”

“A graverobber. Sekhmet actually left him alive as a reward for releasing her.”

Sam was clearly surprised by that. “Well, hopefully Daniel has luck getting Anna to remember.”

“I’m going to get coffee and then I’ll take another run at her as well.”

She found the small makeshift kitchen they’d set up and poured herself some coffee while a guard stared. She ignored him until a voice came over his radio.

“ **All units, this is Agent Barrett. The female prisoner is currently unaccounted for. Secure all exits. Repeat, secure entire perimeter and begin full sweep. Target is armed and dangerous, use extreme caution.** ”

Anna was on the loose. Anna or Sekhmet or both even. It would be hard to tell just yet. She got up and tried to think of where Sekhmet would go. She would try to escape. Anna, on the other hand, would go after Keffler.

Nes immediately headed down to the basement. Sekhmet would hunt for some kind of underground passages or sewers that led out. She’d know the surface would be completely surrounded. Nes moved quietly, letting her eyes adjust to the dark rather than carrying a light that would alert everyone to her presence.

A sudden flash from a broken light overhead triggered a memory, though, and she froze. She had the deactivation code. She paused, deciding if she should deactivate the bomb or continue after Sekhmet. She had time. She’d go after the goa’uld first.

She reached an intersection of corridors and paused to listen. Footsteps to her right were likely NID agents with their precise and confident steps, but to her left she heard a more scuffling walk and moved slowly towards it.

“ **Drop the gun.** ” Nes could hear Anna’s voice and she guessed she was addressing the doctor by her tone.

“ **Anna.** ” Yep. Keffler.

“ **Drop it!** ” Nes could hear something drop to the floor as she moved closer to the altercation.

“ **Come with me now to the lab. I will help you.** ”

“ **You can't help me** .”

Nes made her presence known. “He’s really not a very good liar, is he...Anna?” Sekhmet would already have ripped his heart out of his chest and fed it to him.

“ **Whatever they've told you…** ” Keffler’s voice was growing desperate.

“ **It doesn't matter. I never believed you.** ”

He changed to a soothing voice. “ **Anna, I did it to help people.** ”

“ **All the evil I have seen in my mind, nothing you put inside me compares to what I see in you.** ”

The girl clearly had no idea what really lie dormant inside herself. Nes chuckled slightly at her dramatics, but then turned to Anna with a smile. “Would you like to do the honors?” She flourished a hand towards Keffler whose eyes went wide. “I would love to go slowly, enjoying his screams, but I’m afraid there just isn’t the time.”

“Please. Sekhmet, I can be useful. I know about your alliance with Ba’al.”

“And why would that compel me to keep you alive?” He was too dangerous alive. She turned to Anna. “Kill him.”

Anna hesitated, but only for a moment. She let the P90 in her hands fill his chest with bullets and Keffler fell backwards, blood pouring out of him.

Nes felt momentary sympathy for the girl whose life had been stolen by both Keffler and Sekhmet, but as Anna would die regardless, she couldn’t bring herself to let this imposter live.

Anna pulled a remote from her pocket and looked at it before turning with fear to Nes. Her thumb moved to one of the buttons, but Nes could see the resistance. Sekhmet didn’t want to die and was fighting.

“I’ll become like you if I live.”

“You’re already like me.”

Anna’s eyes closed tightly. “No.”

“You just killed him. Not Sekhmet. You.” Nes was shocked at her own cruelty, but couldn’t turn back.

“No!” She opened her eyes and Nes noted her determination. “I won’t let her take over. I won’t let her poison me anymore. I won’t let her kill anyone else.”

Anna again looked down at the remote. All it would take would be the slightest of movements of her thumb, but it was too much. It was too hard. Her head came up to look at Nes with pleading, but her face was beginning to distort.

Sekhmet’s smile appeared first on Nes’ face and then Anna’s as the goa’uld took control of both of them. Nes reached forward, but instead of taking the remote away like the lesser Sekhmet had expected, she pushed Anna’s thumb down onto the button, releasing the biotoxin into her system.

She changed to a sinister smirk and her goa’uld voice. “I will only allow one of me.”

Sekhmet’s eyes went wide with shock and anger, but then her smile disappeared first from Anna’s face and then Nes’ as the goa’uld lost control of both of them. Nes felt heavy as she heard Daniel yelling for the girl and she quickly sank back into the shadows just as he climbed down a ladder and caught Anna as she fell.

“ **What did you do?** ” Daniel said to Anna as he laid her down on the ground and she opened her hand, revealing the remote.

“ **You couldn’t help me.** ” The girl’s voice was filled with despair.

“ **I'm so sorry.** ” She could see Daniel’s pained expression as Anna’s head fell to the side in death. He stroked her cheek and bowed his head in grief.

Nes felt guilt start to invade. Anna had been like her in many ways, too many ways, and she had killed her.

No. Keffler and Sekhmet had killed her. She had helped Anna kill them. Nes herself had also begged for someone to kill her, to stop both Sekhmet and herself, but no one had helped, and too many people have died by her hand since then. She had given Anna what she had wished for herself. It was a stretch, but Nes latched onto the flawed logic for dear life, trying to keep the horror of what she’d done behind the dam with all the rest of her guilt.

She needed to get away, but first she had to play the part. The bomb! She had to do that, too. Nes slowly and quietly backed herself down the hallway before coming forward again at a loud jog.

“Daniel! What happened?” She looked at the two bodies in shock.

“Anna killed him and then took her own life.” He rose slowly, exhaustion radiating off him.

Nes stood silent, feigning a lesser horror instead of releasing any of the real feeling she’d blocked.

Daniel sighed. “I think I found the deactivation code, though. We should go check on Teal’c and Dr. Lee.”

“Good. Anna tell you?”

“I found another drawing that had it.”

“You okay?”

“I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t save her.”

“We can’t save everyone, Daniel, but it’s good that it still hurts. It’s good that we never just accept it as inevitable.” Her stomach heaved at her words. She was disgusted with her platitudes and mock sympathy.

Daniel nodded before looking at her with scrutiny in his eyes. “Are  _ you _ okay? This had to have been an emotional day with Keffler and Sekhmet.”

She glanced down at Anna, guilt sweeping over her again, but she still maintained the facade. “Why do you think she killed herself?”

Daniel crossed his arms. “She was scared of Sekhmet, of the darkness in her.”

Nes nodded slowly. “She was right to be afraid.” She straightened her body and shoved aside all the negative feelings that wrapped themselves around her chest. “The ark.”

Daniel nodded and they climbed the ladder to make their way to the storage room. Nes could feel the relief in the room as soon as they entered and Dr. Lee’s broad smile confirmed their success. Even Teal’c had a slight smile and that was enough to lighten her mood some.

Major Carter and Agent Barrett joined the happy group and they all congratulated one another for a few moments, Keffler and Anna momentarily forgotten. After alerting all the proper people that the threat had passed, the team began discussing more of the logistics of clean up. Daniel, of course, wanted the various artifacts shipped to the SGC for him to catalogue and Nes was anxious to go through them as well.

Soon other teams began showing up to do all the dirty work and the exhausted SG-1, Nes, Dr. Lee, and Agent Barrett made their way out of the complex.

“Well, they’ve got a hotel for us tonight, but we’ll head back first thing in the morning. I’m sure Lt Elliot will be glad to see you back so soon,” Sam said quietly to Nes with a smile as they walked out.

Nes felt a pit in her stomach, though. She wasn’t ready to see him. She needed to time to deal with today and push Sekhmet down again, if she could. “Yeah, I was actually thinking of hanging out here for a few days.”

Sam eyed her critically. “Why?”

“I just need some time.”

“Why don’t I see if I can stay, too, then?” She put a hand on Nes’ shoulder.

“I don’t need a babysitter, Sam. I’ll come back.”

“Yeah, but when?”

Nes shrugged. “When I’m ready.”

“And Elliot?”

“He won’t want me back like this anyway.”

“Like what?” Sam looked genuinely confused.

“You can’t expect me to put Sekhmet on like a hat, Sam. It’s easy to slip into her personality, but it gets harder each time to get back out of it. I just need some time. If I see him now…”

“But maybe he would help you remember who you are quicker.”

“Or I could say and do things that I’ll never be able to take back.”

Sam nodded. “You sure you don’t want any company? I wouldn’t mind some beach time.” She released a large grin.

Nes laughed. “Another time?”

“Of course. Are you going to tell Elliot? Or are you expecting me to do that?”

“I don’t think I can talk to him.”

“Just...turn your phone on every now and then. Check your messages? Please?”

Nes nodded as they reached a black SUV that would take them to the hotel nearby. They all grabbed dinner together and Nes was grateful that Sam didn’t bring up her imminent disappearance, but when they all separated for their rooms, Nes walked out the front door of the hotel lobby and grabbed a cab to a bar a few miles away where she hailed another cab to take her to her house in Malibu.

She was already lonely.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 7.21 and 7.22 “Lost City”

The Malibu house was clean and white and modern, with windows nearly the entire full side of the house to enjoy the views of the ocean. Sekhmet had built the house during the seventies and had remodeled it more than once. Nes had also decided to update it and now it looked fresh and new compared to when she’d been there just a year ago. She wandered out to the balcony on the main floor and breathed in the salt air. The sky was already dark, but she briefly contemplated a swim despite the danger. The weight of the day fell onto her all at once, though, and she moved back inside to find a bottle of something to make sure she would sleep like the dead before she thought too hard about joining them.

The light streaming onto her bed woke her far too early. She’d forgotten to shut the shades the night before, but she got up, made coffee, and took it straight down to the sand. The house was smashed between neighbors, meaning it was fairly worthless for killing, but the view made up for that flaw. She had other nearby houses that were more isolated, some in rather seedy neighborhoods that wouldn’t bat an eye at screams or bodies. She would keep those in mind if Sekhmet claimed a greater dominance after her killing yesterday.

The rhythmic waves calmed her body, but she began to feel that awful prickling of a conscience she was working hard to suppress. It didn’t matter how she justified the deaths of Keffler and Anna. The truth was, she’d killed them to protect herself. Keffler would have blackmailed her with his information about Ba’al. Sekhmet would have forced her down paths she was trying to avoid.

Killing them, though...that may have set her on that path anyway. Nes knew she was still dangerous, but the memory of pushing Anna’s thumb down onto the button...she would never be rid of it. Maybe it was time to admit that her place was with Ba’al.

No.

She wasn’t ready to do that just yet. She just needed distractions until the despair passed. A muscular jogger went past giving her a flirtatious smile and her own smile spread onto her face in response.

LA was a superb place for distractions.

Back inside, she got dressed for the day and went to investigate the garage. A bright yellow Porsche convertible was just what she needed. She wanted to be ostentatious for a while. Managing attention was always a good way of avoiding any real thoughts beyond one’s own beauty and charm and power.

She drove. She drove fast and she did all the things a young wealthy woman does in Los Angeles. She went to the beach. She went shopping. She ate at the best restaurants. She let men flirt with her, but as the evening wore on, she made her way to her and Sekhmet’s old preferred bar. The sign in the window read  _ The Butcher’s Favorite Bar _ and Nes tapped her foot in annoyance before going in.

It was crowded, but she moved quickly to the bar, unsurprised to find Tony, with his dark hair, scruffy face, and a smile that melted, still mixing drinks, the female clientele still hanging on his every word.

She edged her way up to where he stood flirting with a busty blonde and rather loudly said, “I hear this is one of the only places a girl can get a decent Aviation.”

His eyes immediately left the other woman and hunted for her face. “Holy shit....Kat.” His face went pale with the ghost in front of him. “I thought you were…”

“A dead serial killer? I noticed your sign.”

He set down the cocktail shaker in his hands and absentmindedly arranged the bottles in front of him. “Well...you gotta admit...there’s a resemblance.”

“So are you glad to see me or not?”

He quickly looked up and gave her a wink. “Get your ass on this side.” He cleared a spot on the bar. “Just like old times.”

Nes turned her back to the bar and hoisted herself onto it, swinging her legs around and narrowly avoiding catching a few jealous women in the face. Tony put both hands on her waist, lifting her down and straight into a firm kiss.

“So you finally gonna come home with me tonight?” he asked in his best seductive voice.

“Oh, I’m afraid I’d get far too jealous of all your women afterwards. Then bodies start piling up and it gets so very difficult to convince everyone that I’m  _ not _ The Butcher.” She patted his cheek and he kissed her again.

“So what the hell, Kat? Where’ve you been if you’re not dead?”

“Around. Just not here.”

“I noticed.” He looked behind her at the annoyed customers. “I’m glad you’re not a dead serial killer, hun, but I have to get back to work. Can you come by tomorrow while I’m setting up? Like you used to?”

“Sure, Tony. I’ll see you then.” She gave him a quick peck before heading down to the far end of the bar to leave in the normal fashion.

She shouldn’t have let him kiss her, but she’d fallen right into the role that their character, Kat, had played when Tony had been that girl’s friend. She went home, not wanting any crowds or conversation, and was tempted to call Elliot. This house and town would be more fun with him around, but then she’d have to tell him what she did. Or lie about it. And she wasn’t sure she was capable of lying about it yet. Not to him.

She went straight to the liquor cabinet, pulled out a bottle of tequila, and went to sit on the balcony to drink. She needed Sekhmet to help her push away the guilt and doubt, but drawing on her strength wasn’t the only thing she’d pull up, so drinking seemed the better option. She wasn’t sure which one led to a slower death.

Nes had remembered to pull the shades this time and slept well past noon, but woke up with a hangover that would either make her too groggy to hunt for a victim or too irritable to entice them into anything anyway. Both options saved a life, but left her feeling miserable and she worried that she was starting down a path that would be difficult to turn away from.

Coffee and more coffee got her at least dressed and out the door, driving back to the bar she’d visited the night before. That area of town was fairly dead this time of day, so she parked right outside and knocked on the locked front door. She could see Tony through the window coming toward her, a big smile on his face.

“Hello hun.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and ushered her inside. “Nice ride. You always have a new car.”

“I like cars.”

“Apparently.” He went behind the bar and she grabbed a stool about midway down. “An Aviation?”

“Of course.”

He started rounding up ingredients to make her drink. “So you’re back in town. Or have you been back before and just not stopped by?”

She looked down sheepishly. “I’ve been back a few times, yeah.”

“Damn. It’s insane how much you look like her. That’s gotta make life...interesting now.”

“Definitely. At least she’s dead, though. If she were just in prison, I don’t think I’d be able to convince anyone I wasn’t Tessa James.”

“So what have you been up to then? It’s been what...five years?”

“Traveling mostly.”

“What  _ do _ you do for a living anyway?”

Nes just smiled and Tony shrugged.

“Okay, off limits as usual,” he said.

“What about you? What have you been doing?”

“Not much really. Got married. Got divorced. You know how it goes.” He slid her drink in front of her. “You ever been married, Kat?”

Nes let a small smile slip. “Sort of.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“It’s complicated.” Being queen to a few System Lords hardly counted. She took a sip of the cocktail and gave him a big smile. “Wonderful, as always.”

He bowed his head in thanks. “And no one special now?” He looked a bit hopeful before shifting his eyes away from hers.

“Yeah, actually, but...I don’t know if it’ll work out.”

“Why not?” He watched Nes shift uncomfortably. “Come on. Spill to the bartender.”

“He’s a good guy. A really good guy.”

“But no spark.”

“Oh no. Plenty of spark.  _ Lots _ of spark. It’s just...I don’t know if he can deal with my past. He says he can, but...it’s not just my past.”

“Your past isn’t really over and done with.”

“Right. I did something. And I don’t know if he’ll be able to understand or forgive me. I’m not sure I even require his forgiveness, but I’m pretty sure he’ll think less of me.”

“So you’re hiding out here chatting with your old friend, Tony.” His tone was jovial, but she could hear some undercurrent of hurt.

“I don’t know if I can tell him, but I don’t know if I can lie, either.”

He put both hands on the counter in front of him and waited until she made eye contact. “Sounds like you’re going to tell him regardless then. Might as well get it over with before you compound it with lies.” He looked down, unfocused on anything in front of him. “The lies are sometimes worse than the initial sin.”

Nes wasn’t sure that applied to the things she was lying about. Killing people was usually much worse than the lies that followed.

“Do you love him?” Tony asked.

That was a hard question. A really hard question. “I have no idea what love is.” She couldn’t keep the despair out of her voice.

“Not sure I know either.” He smiled then. “Aren’t we a pair?”

Nes chuckled. “I’m glad I came by to see you.” She looked at her watch. “I should get going.”

“Stop by anytime, hun. Come here.” He leaned across the bar and gave her a gentle kiss. “You should just tell him, Kat. See how he handles it.”

Nes nodded then hopped down off the stool and waved. “Bye, Tony.”

******

She visited Tony most days, chatting about life, but not really, about love, but not really. He was friends with Kat, but not Nes, and it became more and more obvious to them both that there was far too much secrecy between them for anything beyond glossing over the surface of their respective problems. But it was company and flirtation and that was something they both enjoyed at least.

Her evenings were spent with a bottle in hand, trying to dull both Sekhmet and herself, but only succeeding in giving herself a headache the next day. She rapidly began to tire of Los Angeles, but wanted to at least say goodbye to Tony, unlike the other times she and Sekhmet had simply disappeared.

Tony left the front door unlocked for her now so she walked right into the bar, hollering his name with a smile. She quickly noticed that she wasn’t his only visitor. The dark haired man in a pinstripe suit turned slowly on the barstool to face her with a seductive smile.

“Hello, sweetheart.” Ba’al’s voice was silky, but with an edge outlining his words. He rose from the chair and approached her, a hand going around her waist to pull her closer for a quick kiss on the cheek. “I have missed you.”

Nes looked past him quickly at Tony who seemed to note the tension in the room. “How did you find me?” She kept her voice low, but there was enough force behind it that Ba’al would be unable to miss her anger.

“Oh, some acquaintances of our dear friend, Dr. Keffler, were keeping an eye out for you.”

So...the rogue NID was watching her. She should have taken more steps to hide her tracks when she left the hotel, but she hadn’t been thinking clearly at the time. Now she mentally kicked herself for being so careless.

She forced her body to relax and smile. “Well, wonderful. I’m glad you caught me before I left LA again.” She moved forward to the bar. “How about one last drink, Tony?”

“Taking off so soon, Kat?” Tony looked concerned, but tried his best to hide it.

“Yes, I’m afraid so.” She leaned forward and patted his cheek. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back someday.”

Tony smiled, but then turned grim as Ba’al sat down next to Nes and put a hand on the small of her back possessively.

“You ever been to LA before, Emyr?” He directed the question to Ba’al so that must be the name he’d been given for the goa’uld.

“Never before. Such an interesting city…” he looked to Nes, “...on an interesting planet.”

Sekhmet’s smirk appeared. “I knew you would like it.” He reflected her expression and she felt her stomach flip. She had appreciated him in his royal attire offworld, but there was something about him in a suit that was quickly overriding any fears she had of his presence.

A clatter behind the bar got the attention of both guests and Nes turned to see Tony staring at her wide-eyed. She looked like The Butcher now, absolutely and completely, and he hadn’t missed the change.

“Kat, love, I made reservations for dinner across town so we should probably get going.”

“Of course.” She shifted back into Kat slightly and said a quiet goodbye to Tony, but it was too late. He saw who and what she was.

They got out onto the sidewalk by her car and Ba’al grabbed her arm forcefully. “I have grown tired of waiting for you to hold up your end of our bargain.”

“So you decided to come check up on me? Possibly ruining my cover?”

“I highly doubt that  _ bartender _ is of any consequence to your mission.”

She shrugged off his arm and walked around the front of her car to the driver side door. “Get in.” She gestured to the passenger seat.

Ba’al slid into the seat, carefully examining the Porsche. “Such a primitive vehicle.”

“Primitive…” she turned and winked. “...but fun.” She laid her foot on the gas and they took off down the road, Ba’al begrudgingly releasing a smile as the wind whipped past them.

She slowed to a stop at a red light and he leaned over to pull her into a kiss, only interrupted by the honking of horns behind them as the light turned green. They took off again, but Ba’al left a hand firmly on her thigh as she drove. He hadn’t actually made reservations, but it was no matter. Nes had plenty of options for a meal and she couldn’t stop the excitement of introducing Ba’al to this world and its many pleasures.

While Ba’al was used to luxury, she was guessing he’d never had some of the more common foods of California and she pulled the car into a parking spot at a favorite burger place. 

Ba’al’s disgust was apparent. “What is this?”

Nes laughed before leaning over, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt. He reached a hand over to her waist, but she quickly removed it. “I’m not undressing you, simply making you more casual.” She looked him over with some hunger in her eyes. “As much as I like you in a suit.”

They got out and she also slid his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves. Now he looked much more in line with the other clientele, but his eyes told her he’d like to be somewhere much more private with her now. She grabbed his hand and pulled him behind her inside where they were then given a table out on the patio.

After the waitress had brought their beers and taken their orders, Nes grew more serious. “Why did you come?”

“Is simply wishing to see you not a good enough reason?” His smile was seductive as he reached a hand up to caress her cheek.

She returned the smile, but leaned forward with a quick, “No.”

Ba’al sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Anubis is coming.”

“Here?”

“Yes. He believes the Tau’ri have acquired knowledge of The Lost City of the Ancients. Have they?”

“I know they’ve been looking, but no, I don’t think they’ve found it yet. What makes him think they have?”

“My spies said they acquired an Ancient Repository of Knowledge that Anubis sought.”

“One of those devices that downloads Ancient knowledge into the human brain?”

“Yes. I believe Colonel O’Neill has had an encounter with one in the past.”

“Well, even if they have a repository, that’s certainly no guarantee that they know where the Lost City is.”

“No, but it does not matter if Anubis  _ believes _ they know.”

“True...when will he arrive?”

“Three days.”

“Do the Tau’ri know?”

“Yes. The Shol’va Bra’tac informed them.”

Nes felt nausea as worry climbed up her spine. Three days and there was nothing she knew of that could help fend off Anubis and his ships. “And you...what? Came to rescue me?”

Ba’al shrugged with a smile.

“Or you simply wanted to see what you could acquire in the short time before this world is destroyed?”

“I perhaps thought you had information that would be valuable,” he said casually.

Three days. Elliot. She saw no way to save him this time. She didn’t have a ship and even if she did, he would never leave in the middle of a crisis. She could only hope that he was sent to the Alpha Site or that SG-1 somehow managed to obtain the mythical weapon of the Lost City. Sekhmet was still too prominent, though, and Nes was ashamed that these were only quick and passing thoughts. Her mind shifted almost immediately to her own survival and Ba’al was her best option both in the short and long term.

“I may have information that would profit us greatly if the Tau’ri do in fact defeat Anubis. Or even if they do not.”

Ba’al’s eyebrows went up questionly, but she paused for dramatic effect.

“I know the planet where Anubis creates his Kull Warriors.”

“Well that  _ certainly _ would be helpful. Though how likely is it that he will be destroyed?”

“I don’t know, but I think we are among the only ones of the goa’uld who do not underestimate the Tau’ri threat. They have already killed those who ruled over all of us for centuries.”

“True. It sickens me that they have achieved so much as mere humans.”

“Well, if we were to find ourselves very near to the planet when Anubis fell…”

“We could claim his army. And if he is victorious, we may yet be able to destroy the warriors.”

“Precisely. Little risk, but potentially a huge reward.”

Ba’al leaned toward her. “You are exquisite.” His eyes roamed over her and she felt his hand on her thigh again.

Nes crossed her legs to shift them away from him. “Do not think for one moment,  _ sweetheart _ , that you can have me followed, then appear out of nowhere to reprimand me and use me for information, and still expect me to simply fall into bed with you.”

He straightened up with a smirk. “I doubt I will have to wait very long for you to change your mind.” His overconfidence somehow still managed to come off as charming which infuriated her, but she also knew her own willpower and Sekhmet’s. She would hold his desire over him for as long as possible, managing his decisions until she was indispensable to his rule.

The waitress appeared with their food and though Ba’al initially looked skeptical at the greasy meal in front of him, he conceded quickly with a smile that it was indeed delicious.

“Emyr then?”

“Emyr Kagan. And you are known as Nesert Saeda here. And interestingly also as Tessa James, your current host, who is also known as The Butcher. You have been quite busy.”

Nes smirked. “Keep your voice down. I’m supposed to be dead.”

“I did notice quite a lot of stares.”

“Oh, that’s simply because we’re gorgeous.” She winked and he chuckled.

“Well, that is certainly true. I find myself truly hoping Anubis does  _ not _ conquer this planet. I can already tell I would enjoy more time here.”


	10. Chapter 10

Nes drove them back to her house so she could close things up and grab various items, her efforts slowed by a goa’uld who seemed to think seducing her was of higher priority. She offered just enough encouragement to give him hope, but not so much as to let anything progress just yet.

Ba’al had a cloaked Al’kesh at an abandoned complex outside of Los Angeles. It’d been constructed as a base for Nazi operations in the thirties and while officially it was owned by the city, the rogue NID had started using it as a outpost of their own. The Murphy Ranch looked completely unoccupied as they drove in, the concrete buildings and walls covered in graffiti, the road barely driveable. Ba’al explained that there was a little known labyrinth of underground tunnels that the NID had moved into, though they’d mostly left as things had gone down with Keffler’s operation.

They hiked through a section of trees marked only by a wooden post and Nes let a few curses fly as her shoes became covered in mud. Had she known what would be required to reach Ba’al’s ship, she would have at least changed. She had called her management company to come pick up her Porsche later today so at least that would be taken care of, but her shoes were likely going to be a lost cause. She held back a sigh as she thought of how intensely shallow she was being in that moment, but it was simply easier to get worked up about the loss of a favorite pair of high heels than confronting the possibility of losing her friends and planet.

“How did you even get involved with the rogue NID?”

“I sent a few underlings to begin investigating infiltration into Earth’s Stargate program and government. It was not long before they came across the NID and those that now have started referring to themselves as The Trust.”

“You were the first to see the Tau’ri were going to rise up against the Goa’uld under Ra’s rule. I shouldn’t be surprised that you assessed their threat to your empire appropriately and took action.”

“I will take that as a compliment.”

“You should. I’m impressed by your foresight.” She caught her shirt on the underbrush and again cursed. “Are we almost there? This is ridiculous.”

“Just a bit farther. I needed a large enough clearing and, of course, did not want any random passersby to stumble upon an invisible ship.”

They stepped out from the trees into a large clearing. There was a haziness in the air as the al’kesh appeared in front of them.

The door opened and a jaffa stepped out, greeting his god. “Lord Ba’al.” He looked over Nes whose hair was likely tangled and filled with twigs and leaves after their trek through the woods.

Ba’al shifted back to his distorted voice. “Prepare the ship. We leave immediately.” He turned back to Nes as they moved onto the bridge. “Where is Anubis’ secret base?”

“Tartarus,” she responded in her own goa’uld tone.

Ba’al told his slaves to set the proper course and the Jaffa did as they were told before Ba’al moved through the ship with Nes following. “Here are quarters you may use. I am going to change and then we can eat. The journey should take about two days and then we will wait to hear what becomes of Anubis and the Tau’ri.”

He left her and Nes sat for a few moments alone on her bed. How the hell did she get here? Her loyalty had been completely compromised for her own survival, though she wasn’t sure if she’d ever been so pure of heart to be entirely dedicated to those at the SGC. She’d always kept her options open in every situation, making sure she could justify her action to either side and maintain their trust.

She finally got up and wandered to the window. She could still use this to benefit Earth if they survived, but she now felt the full force of her abandonment of her friends, thinking of how she may never see them again. Sekhmet crept up into her chest to offer sympathy. They were better off without her, regardless of the outcome of the next few days. Elliot especially.

There. She’d succeeded yet again in defending her choices to herself. She was her hardest critic in many ways because she was the only one who really knew the truth, the only one who saw the constant duplicity in her mind.

Ba’al had thought ahead and provided various dresses for her, so she bathed and chose a black velvet gown with a plunging neckline and gold rope belt. She was escorted to Ba’al’s personal rooms, which Nes knew was dangerous, but she wasn’t given a choice in avoiding the situation. Even with the fight with Anubis, Ba’al had not given up any of the luxury he’d grown accustomed to and the meal was both elaborate and delicious.

“You seem to have grown rather fond of the Tau’ri.” Ba’al sipped on his wine at the end of the meal, his eyes roaming.

“As one becomes attached to a loyal pet.”

He smirked at her response. “You seem to enjoy killing them as well.”

Nes laughed. “Yes, though not nearly as much as I enjoyed killing  _ you _ .”

His smile changed to a grimace. “Just remember who has killed who more times.”

“Oh, you’ve never killed  _ me _ , only that pathetic girl I created for you. You liked her screams so very much and I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist stealing some of her innocence.” She reached for her own wine with a smile.

“And yet, it was still  _ your _ eyes that went dim every time.” Ba’al stood and walked behind her chair, his hands sliding down her arms as he leaned to kiss her neck and shoulder.

“I believe I made myself quite clear on how our time would not be spent, my lord.”

“But you could not have really meant it.”

“I assure you, I did.” Nes leaned forward away from him, but he would not be deterred so easily.

He took her wine glass from her hand and set it on the table before pulling her to standing, his hands moving smoothly around her waist. “I will admit to enjoying your little creation’s timidity, but I greatly preferred kissing you instead.”

He was far too charming and though she was determined to keep her distance, a smile still escaped her lips and Ba’al took it as encouragement.

Nes let the goa’uld kiss her, but as his intensity increased she pushed away.

“My Lord Ba’al. The only way you will have me is as your queen, but I will not tolerate being an ornamental bride for you. When I am no longer needed to spy on the Tau’ri, then you will announce my position and give me the authority expected in such a role. I will rule  _ with _ you, not simply serve your needs in your bed.”

“High demands.”

“Hardly.”

His hands roughly pulled her closer to him again. “Except...I do not really require your permission, do I? You no longer carry a symbiote and even if you did, you’d still be in a female host. Your physical strength is nothing compared to mine.”

“Very true, though I still doubt you would survive the conquest.” She put on Sekhmet’s most sinister smile as she ran a finger down his cheek. “Admit it. I am a prize worth attaining and you know you will need a queen you can trust as you gain more dominance in the galaxy.”

“And will I ever be able to trust you?” He kissed her gently.

“Of course. I will be entirely devoted to you, my lord.” She began kissing his neck. “Entirely and completely and unreservedly and utterly.”

His hands grasped onto her harder and he kissed her once more before releasing her reluctantly. He gave her his own sinister smile then. “But let me be clear that if you betray me in any way, this deal is forfeited and I will do with you what I please.”

“And then I will kill you. And no sarcophagus will ever be able to revive what is left behind.” She smiled sweetly and then kissed him on the cheek. “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding, but now I will retire for the evening. Goodnight.”

He wished her restful sleep and she left for her own quarters. She was forced to wait until an assigned servant had assisted her in getting changed, but then she crawled into the luxurious bed, finally allowing herself the deep sigh of relief that her plan to deal with Ba’al’s advances had worked. At least for now.

The next two days of travel were spent with Nes sharing more than she knew she should of what the Stargate program had learned about the Kull Warriors. The blank symbiotes had been programmed by Anubis into loyalty, but the technique used was not discovered. Even if Anubis were destroyed, they’d still be taking a huge risk in trying to usurp his control over the mindless drones.

They concluded eventually that their best hope for infiltrating the base was using the same tactic that the humans and Tok’ra had used. Of course, that required capturing a Kull Warrior, which first required locating one. They got lucky and a report came in that one was attacking an outpost of Ba’al’s not too far away. Ba’al sent a few of his jaffa in a tel’tak to ring the super-soldier aboard before venting the atmosphere in the cargo bay and eventually the prisoner fell unconscious. They stripped him of his armor and Ba’al attempted to use his ribbon device to extract information. There was little in its mind, but Ba’al dug for its earliest memories and found what he guessed to be the techniques used to program it after it was brought to life.

They continued toward Tartarus and upon their arrival received word from Ba’al’s underlings on Earth that SG-1 had in fact discovered an Ancient weapon on Antarctica that defeated Anubis’ fleet. Nes’ body wanted to sit with the intense relief, but she kept her legs locked and focused on setting their plan in motion. They were interrupted, however, by a transmission calling for the System Lords to discuss the annihilation of Anubis. Ba’al joined the discussion remotely and Nes watched in admiration as he agreed with the others that in order to prevent open war, they would divide the dead goa’uld’s armies and territories equally. There was not even a hint of deception in her new lord’s voice and she realized yet again what a deadly foe (and friend) he was.

Of course, as soon as the transmission ended, Ba’al immediately returned to his former tasks and a goa’uld in his service, wearing the Kull armor that would allow him to pass through the shielded Stargate, was ordered to dial the secret base, infiltrate it, and disengage the sensor array that prevented their approach.

He was quick in his efforts and immediately began transmitting data from the computers so that Nes and Ba’al could pour over the information as rapidly as possible.

“So it looks like he modified the use of the mind probe he’d been using to interrogate prisoners,” Nes commented as she read through files.

Ba’al came to read over her shoulder. “So instead of downloading, he reversed it to upload information directly into the host mind. Since the symbiote does not contain any genetic memory, the host’s mind is essentially dominant. Or at least the information there.”

Nes leaned back to look up at Ba’al. “His current batch is unusable then.”

“It appears so, but...he recently acquired a new queen who is producing more symbiotes. We can make more. We just have to kill off the current ones.”

“Venting the base.”

“Precisely. We acquire the queen and new symbiotes, dial into the Stargate to prevent any from escaping, deplete the base of oxygen and simply wait for them to die. We will then resume...production.” Ba’al’s elation was evident.

Their plan took a while to enact, but went exactly according to plan. Nes joined Ba’al in the sense of accomplishment and victory and she was glad he was distracted with the work because she sensed that her resistance to his advances would be greatly diminished with their gains in power.

Ba’al’s overconfidence seemed to expand and fill the entire base, but again, combined with his charm, it suited him. He was sure he was unstoppable now, despite the previous owner of the Kull Warriors being recently defeated.

“The System Lords will fall quickly with the acquisition of Anubis’ forces, my lord.” Nes bowed her head to him as they walked through the halls of his new base assessing the newest additions to his army, increasing her formality with him for their audience of attendants.

“And they will never see it coming with all their talk of cooperation and equality.”

“Who will you eliminate first?”

“I believe Camulus should be the first to fall to us. I will enjoy very much taking everything he has before ending his life.”

She noted his inclusion of herself in his plans and she felt some reassurance that he did not consider her usefulness at an end.

“And while I would certainly miss your presence,” he continued, “I am curious about this Ancient weapon the Tau’ri have discovered. Perhaps you can return to Earth and learn something about it.”

“Of course, my lord. May I take a tel’tak to that end?”

“Yes. Take one of the new fleet. They have been outfitted with the Asgard beaming technology.”

“That will certainly be helpful. I will leave as soon as a ship is readied.” She bowed low. “I look forward to hearing of your conquest of the galaxy.”

Ba’al took her hand and kissed it. “And I look forward to your return.”

One of Ba’al’s jaffa commanders assessed the various tel’taks in Anubis’ fleet and picked one that was in optimum condition. She wasn’t looking forward to the journey alone with only her own thoughts, but she certainly didn’t want any jaffa babysitters either.

The Asgard beaming technology would simplify her life significantly back on Earth. She could leave the ship cloaked in orbit and then use it to move wherever she wished around the planet. No longer would she be dependent on the more primitive transportation the other humans were required to use. She could beam herself aboard the ship and pick a new destination in the amount of time it would have taken to call her management company to book flights. The freedom this would give her made her feel lighter than she’d felt in a very long time.

She wouldn’t be trapped anywhere now.

Ever.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.01 “New Order Part 1” and Episode 8.02 “New Order Part 2”

The trip was taxing mentally. She spent much of her time diving into Sekhmet’s memories, but that hardly prepared her for her return to the SGC and the people there. She should be trying to dull the Sekhmet influence, not strengthen it, but there was nothing for Nes to latch onto, nothing to promote her own interests. She tried to think of Elliot, but Sekhmet’s voice kept insisting that he would never accept her as she truly was. She dreaded seeing him more and more as they approached the planet she’d once called home. That seemed so long ago.

She beamed herself down to her house in Colorado Springs after a few scans to make sure no one was watching. It was dark and cool and quiet and, after throwing her bags into her bedroom, she went straight to the fridge for a beer and pulled out her phone.

Sam showed up about a half hour and three beers later and Nes went to let the agitated major in.

“Where have you been?”

“Mostly Los Angeles.” The truth.

“Mostly?”

“Well, technically my house is in Malibu.” Still the truth.

“And you didn’t think to come back when all hell broke loose? Or at least check in?”

Nes sat down in one of the armchairs in the living room. “I didn’t hear about it when it happened.” A partial truth.

“How could you miss it, Nes? Ships were destroyed, power grids targeted. We had to cover it all with a freak meteor shower story.”

Nes rubbed her face. “I wasn’t sober enough to be paying attention, Sam.” The lies had to start, Sekhmet’s lion that would eventually maul and devour.

Sam was silent at this confession.

“I’m not proud of it and I know it was reckless, but I...I just couldn’t cope anymore.”

Sam’s face shifted to sympathy and the lion clawed at Nes with guilt. “I shouldn’t have let you go alone. I’m sorry.” And here was Sam apologizing when Nes was the one that had betrayed them all.

Nes leaned forward into her hands. “How was Lt. Elliot when I didn’t come back?” She had to know.

“You haven’t called him yet? He was worried as expected. Mad that we’d let you disappear. You should let him know you’re back.”

Nes shrugged. “So fill me in. What happened if it wasn’t a meteor shower?”

“Anubis came with a fleet thinking we’d found the Lost City of the Ancients.”

“Did you?”

“No, but Jack put his head into one of the Ancient Repositories again and eventually that knowledge directed us to an Ancient outpost on Antarctica. There’s a chair thing there that Jack sat in and then fired drones at Anubis’ fleet.”

“Wow. I really did miss stuff. But awesome...we have a weapon to defend Earth now.”

“Well...not exactly. We’re not sure if we can get it to even work again.”

“Well, hopefully just the threat of it keeps enemies away for a while.”

“That’s what we’re counting on, though the System Lords have already tried to test it. They came here to try forming an alliance with Earth against Ba’al, who somehow found Anubis’ secret base and has control of his fleet and Kull Warriors. Fortunately for us, the ship the System Lords sent was also destroyed by Ba’al so it never came down to us using the weapon.”

Nes leaned back in the chair, showing no interest in the revelations regarding Ba’al. “So how’s Jack? Didn’t the Ancient knowledge nearly kill him last time?”

“Yeah. Well, we had to contact the Asgard and then there was some nasty business with the Replicators. We all got back alive, though.”

“Well, that’s something.”

“Take what we can get, right? Oh, and General Hammond was promoted. A Dr. Elizabeth Weir is running the SGC now.”

“A civilian?”

“Yeah. It’s been a bit of an adjustment.”

“I bet. The SGC won’t feel the same without General Hammond.”

“Why don’t you come in with me now? Dr. Weir will want to know you’re back and meet you.”

“I’m sure that will be a fun conversation.”

“It’ll have to happen eventually. You’ll have to talk to Elliot at some point, too.”

“In theory.”

“Don’t just take off again, Nes. You can’t keep running.”

She was wrong, of course. Nes could and would keep running. She’d always be running and always away. “Fine, let’s go. Might as well get it over with.”

She grabbed her bag and Nes followed Sam to the base, enjoying the Mustang again and fighting the temptation to just drive off and disappear on Earth away from everyone, especially Ba’al, but eventually she found herself in General Hammond’s office - now occupied by Dr. Weir.

“So you’re the famous Tessa James? Your file is quite the page turner.” The thin woman with dark hair gave her a friendly smile that made Nes’ jaw tighten up with annoyance.

“Yes, though possibly you noted in that same file that I don’t go by that name anymore.”

“Ah, yes. Nesert Saeda now. Interesting name choice.” She waited for a response, but Nes gave none. “So you were in Los Angeles after the situation with the rogue NID cell?”

“Yes.” She knew she was coming across as hostile, but she had no desire to play ball with this woman touted for her negotiating skills.

“And how can I be sure of that? Your loyalty does seem to be questionable at times.”

“You can’t and I expect that’s a common issue with anyone who has done deep cover work. If we do a good job, we hardly seem trustworthy anymore. Though I suppose with me, I never seemed trustworthy to start.”

“And you seem to enjoy that ambiguity.” Dr. Weir leaned back in the high back chair and looked her over skeptically.

“I’m afraid I’ve never stopped preferring to be _feared_ like Sekhmet had.” She smiled. “It comes in so handy with the things I’ve been asked to do.”

“Like what you were asked to do with that girl, Anna. To manipulate her into letting Sekhmet out to see if you could get the deactivation code for the bomb?”

Nes shrugged. “Everyone wants me to stop being Sekhmet until it suits their purposes.”

“And who are you now?”

“The same person I’ve been the last five years, which I’m afraid is still a pretty messy mix of personalities.”

“And again, how am I supposed to trust you?”

“That’s not my problem, Doctor. Not in the least.” She crossed her arms and kept eye contact.

“I’d like to have some evaluations done over the next week or so.”

“Of course.” How foolish to think that they could assess her when she so easily deceived even System Lords.

“In the meantime...I don’t want you near the Stargate.”

Nes chuckled. “I have no intention of going through the Stargate, Dr. Weir.” She narrowed her eyes. “But if I did, your precautions wouldn’t do a damn thing.” She flashed her eyes as she stood. “I think we’re done here.”

Dr. Weir clearly looked shaken. “Yes. I believe we are.”

Nes made her way up to Sam’s lab, but the major wasn’t there. Here was the perfect opportunity to assess the Ancient weapon, but she just stood staring at the computer. Being back here gave Nes the handhold she’d wished for while on the tel’tak. She had memories here and people who cared and a purpose that was beyond her own survival. Why was it so hard to hold onto those things outside of these concrete walls?

“Were you going to call?”

Elliot’s voice startled but did not surprise Nes and she didn’t bother turning around. “Well, clearly there was no need.”

“I could have helped, Nes. I would have found a way to come to LA.” His voice got louder as he approached and put his hands on her arms. “You should have called.”

“You wanted me to come back the same. I couldn’t do that.”

Elliot slowly turned her towards him. “I would have helped you remember.” She didn’t look up and he finally brought a hand up to raise her chin. “I can help you remember now.”

He leaned down to kiss her and Nes felt Sekhmet fade to the background again. Kissing Elliot was so different from kissing Ba’al, but it was hard to pinpoint why at first. The intensity was similar, but with Ba’al she’d felt danger and power. Elliot made her feel safe, protected, cared for...but weak. She didn’t want to be weak.

She only enjoyed _feigning_ weakness, knowing she was still in control, but actually _being_ weak was far too risky. She liked power too much, control too much, certainty too much. She liked the way she directed every move of a seduction and killing, always the one pulling the strings regardless of what her victim thought. She even liked how powerful she’d felt with Ba’al, guiding him along to where she wanted him to end up.

But with Elliot...she knew she _could_ treat him like the others. She could make him fall in love, want her, trust her, need her - but she didn’t. She had been honest...most of the time...at least when it had counted. She told him the truth about her need to kill, her time with Sekhmet, her real role during the Butcher killings. She wasn’t fearful about him using that information as blackmail, but as that concern and care that would slowly chip away at the ice around her. She’d shared and he would use it to convince her to share more, not to hurt her intentionally, but that would still be the end result. He didn’t know that the ice pick he used was also a sledgehammer breaking down walls and collapsing the structures of her entire being.

Sekhmet was a part of her that would always be present in some way, but he despised her. He wanted Nes, but he didn’t realize he could never have her as she was before. It was a dream to think she wouldn’t need Sekhmet anymore...that she wouldn’t _want_ Sekhmet anymore. Too often, people make room for the thing that hurts them because they want what it has to provide more than they hate the ways it destroys them. Sekhmet offered power and strength and bodily freedom and Nes wanted those things more than she wanted the things Sekhmet took from her. Besides, Sekhmet took those things a long time ago. Nes wasn’t giving up a chance to have a real relationship now. She’d destroyed that option for herself bit by bit with every life she’d taken.

If Elliot wanted her, he was foolish and naive and Nes didn’t want someone stupid enough to care about her. His goodness meant he wanted to save her from herself, but it would also be what kept him from sticking around once he realized she was poison. She was death. She was the roaring fire that would always destroy.

Good wouldn’t come after evil.

Not for her.

Nes pulled back from the kiss. “We need to take a break.” She twisted out of his arms and walked to the other side of the desk, the glint of the lion’s eye making her look down at her hand. “Or end things completely.”

“Because _you_ don’t want to be with me or because _Sekhmet_ doesn’t?”

She made her face hard. “I don’t think there’s a distinction there anymore.”

“And I think that’s bullshit.”

Nes smirked. “Well, unfortunately for you, it doesn’t really matter what you think.” She turned cruel. “Go find some sweet little nobody who will stick around all the time. You two can have a nice boring calm life here on Earth.”

“Yeah, because that’s what I want. In fact, that’s exactly what I told myself when I joined the Stargate program. I just really wanted a calm life and to find some boring girl to share it with.”

She was tempted to smile, but held it back. Damn him. Her only option was retreat at this point. She was just far too weak around him, crumbling with every smile. “I have to go. I’ll see you around.”

He grabbed her arm as she walked past. “So that’s it? You’re just going to run off again. Ya know, for a girl who defeated a goa’uld, you sure are a coward.”

Nes flashed her eyes at him and yanked her arm away to storm off. He was right and she hated him for it. If she could just keep her distance, though, she’d be able to stop the chipping away at the barriers she needed to keep people out. Parts of her wanted to let him in, but she had too many secrets and her most recent ones were certainly ones he wouldn’t be able to look past.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SGA Episode 1.01 “Rising”

Returning to writing her dissertation kept her fairly busy, though Elliot insisted on visiting her still. They’d sit in silence, him waiting for her to speak, her waiting for him to go away. A few weeks of that were beginning to wear her down and she would at least respond to his greeting when he came in. The main focus on the base was the cleanup of Anubis’ destroyed ships down in Antarctica, as well as investigating the discovered outpost below the ice.

Eventually Dr. Weir was asked to head up those operations, as they seemed better suited to her talents, and shockingly, they asked Jack to take over the SGC. He debated for a while, but finally took the job along with the promotion to Brigadier General. Nes wasn’t sure if this was going to improve her situation, but she expected Jack would give her a bit more trust than Dr. Weir had.

“I’m leaving for Antarctica next week,” Elliot said as they sat in silence in the newly promoted Lieutenant Colonel Carter’s lab.

“Good.” She made the word harsh.

“They’ve found the address to the Lost City of the Ancients, Atlantis.” He paused and she looked up at him. “It’s an eight symbol address that’s in the Pegasus galaxy.”

“Eight symbols? I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“I’m not sure anyone really did. Except the Ancients, of course.”

“So we sending a team?”

“They only have the power to dial the gate once. They’re sending an entire expedition led by Dr. Weir.” Nes could hear his voice getting strained.

“And you’re going.” Why did her chest feel so heavy now?

“I only just got offered a spot today.”

This is what she wanted, for him to leave her alone, for him to just leave, but she knew that wasn’t the truth. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to be who he saw her as.

“But you are going to go?”

“I want to, of course, but...there’s a good chance I’ll never come back.” He kept his eyes on hers.

“Yeah, you’ve got your family to think about.”

“Yeah...Nes...please.” He came over in front of her chair and crouched down next to her. “Please stop this.”

“You should go, Elliot. You can’t turn down this chance.”

“Come with me.”

She laughed. “Dr. Weir would never allow me to join the expedition.”

“You don’t know that. You could provide a lot of value to the team.”

“But far too much unpredictability, as well.” She stood to get away, but he was quick to block her path.

“Nes, don’t…”

She tried to sidestep him, her heart racing, but sudden pain in her chest cut off her breathing. Her hand came up to grasp at her heart as the pain radiated throughout her body. Too late, she realized the room was tilting and Elliot caught her arm to steady her.

“What’s wrong?” His voice sounded panicked. “Nes, can you hear me?”

The pain began to subside and her body was grateful for the breath she finally got into her lungs. A few more breaths and she stood up straighter. “Yeah. I’m fine.” She tried to walk away, but Elliot would have none of it.

“Let’s get you to the infirmary.”

“I’m fine. Probably just something I ate.”

“Good, then they’ll clear you quickly. Come on.” He put a hand on her elbow to guide her out of the room.

The infirmary was quiet at the moment and they quickly drew blood and examined her. She had another episode of pain, but did her best to keep anyone from noticing. Elliot’s face revealed her failure, though, and he took her hand with worry in his eyes.

Jack and Daniel came down a bit later, also looking concerned, and she wondered if they were simply checking in or if the doctor had called them. It turned out to be the latter, as the doctor entered with a grim expression.

She took some deep breaths before stating it bluntly. “You’ve been poisoned.” She paused, allowing Nes to absorb the words. “It’s nothing I’ve ever seen before...but we’ll get working on an antidote right away.”

Nes asked the obvious question. “How long?”

The doctor looked at Nes’ visitors before turning back to her patient. “One...maybe two weeks.”

A whisper escaped Nes. “That bastard.”

Daniel heard her. “You know who did this?”

She took a deep angry breath. “Yes.”

“And would you care to share with the class?” Jack asked in annoyance.

Nes debated on her answer, but finally decided on the truth. “It was Ba’al.”

“Ba’al? When you and Jack were captured?” Daniel asked.

The doctor looked over her notes. “No. I’d say this was more recent. The last month or so.”

Elliot’s face went hard. “You weren’t in LA.”

Nes looked down at the bed. “I was...at first. Ba’al found me there.” Her face shifted to a disgusted smirk. “He showed up at my favorite bar with a suit and a tie and a sinister smile.”

“And why was he looking for you?” Jack crossed his arms and Nes could hear the disgust he had for the goa’uld who had tortured them.

Nes took a long slow breath. “He was letting me know Anubis was coming.”

“And why would he do that?” Jack asked suspiciously.

Nes chewed on her lip for a moment before lifting her chin. “Because I made an alliance with him back when we were captured.”

“You did  _ what?” _ Jack was clearly very angry.

“Why do you think he let us go, Jack? I convinced him I was Sekhmet and could spy on Earth for him if he let us escape.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?” He threw his hands up in the air. “Why keep it a secret?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“Were you maybe still trying to pick which side you were on?”

“No!” She tried to calm the defensiveness that rose up. “I just...I wasn’t sure what to do with him. How to, or even if I should, use the situation.”

Jack rubbed his eyes. “Is there ever a time where you aren’t calculating?”

Nes shifted her shoulders back in defiance, but Elliot jumped in. “So when you said you were traveling for that entire year…”

“I really was traveling. On Earth.” She smiled just a bit. “I’m afraid Ba’al also doesn’t like when I disappear. You all have that in common.”

Elliot shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at the ceiling in disgust. Nes had to hold back the hand that wanted to reach out and offer him comfort.

The silence was interrupted by Daniel. “You helped him find Anubis’ Kull Warriors...didn’t you? You had that information from us.”

Nes’ jaw tightened. “I had hoped that Ba’al would simply destroy them while Anubis was away, but once word reached us that you had defeated him…”

“Us?” Elliot looked back to her. “You were with him?”

Nes just stared at the blankets again and Daniel finally spoke. “So why would he poison you?”

“I’m guessing he’s simply trying to ensure that I’ll come back. LIke I said, he’s been quite angry about my disappearing acts.” Another wave of pain filled her chest. “I have to leave.”

Jack crossed his arms. “I’m not sure we can let you leave with all that you know.”

“So you’ll let me die instead.”

“I have to talk with some people and think it over. We’ll see what we can do about an antidote as well. Stay put.” He walked out and Daniel followed him.

Elliot stood quietly for a few moments. “Did you sleep with him?”

“I’m dying and that’s what you’re concerned about?” She watched as shame covered his face, but she wanted him to be angry, to forget her when she left. “It’s actually none of your business, though.”

His head snapped up. “Is that why you’ve pushed me away since you came back?”

She smirked at him. “What can I say? Ba’al is  _ much _ more my type, don’t you think?”

“Hope you get to go back to him then.” He locked his eyes onto hers. “Goodbye, Nes.”

“Have fun in Atlantis,” she said flippantly as he walked out.

Done. He’d go on the expedition. She’d go back to Ba’al. And when she returned to Earth, he wouldn’t be here to confuse her.

Nes got up from the hospital bed, but a guard immediately stopped her outside of the infirmary. “I just want to go get my bag for something to read. You can escort me.” He radioed to get permission and then walked with her back up to Sam’s lab, pausing periodically as the pain swept over her again.

She loaded her laptop and notebooks into her bag, casually slipping a gold bracelet with a blue gem onto her wrist. They walked back to the infirmary and she excused herself to the bathroom. The last they’d see of her presence was a flash of light under the door. She next found herself staring down at Earth from her tel’tak. Free again.

Before leaving, she beamed down to several of her houses, grabbing clothing and things to occupy her time during the travel. Her healing device would hopefully keep her functioning well enough to get back to Tartarus, but she could feel she’d still need to hurry.

******

By the time she arrived at Ba’al’s new home base, she was weak and in agony. It took all her remaining strength to land the ship, but her new master anticipated her current state and sent jaffa to retrieve her and bring her to his throne room. She had no strength to stand, so she kneeled before the goa’uld.

“Sekhmet, my dear, you waited too long to return.”

“It is a two day journey, my lord. I left as soon as I realized what you had done to me.”

“Hmm...perhaps I should have given you some warning.” He walked down to where she kneeled and tilted her chin up to look at him. “You will know for next time at least.” He directed his attention to the jaffa who had brought her there. “Take Lord Sekhmet to the sarcophagus to be restored.”

Her body healed quickly with the goa’uld technology, but instead of taking her to her quarters afterwards, or even to Ba’al’s rooms, she found herself in a room that looked disturbingly similar to the torture chamber where she’d first met him.

She was chained to a post and Ba’al entered soon afterwards.

“What is the meaning of this?” She kept her voice stern and without any of the fear she felt.

“I am afraid I would like more assurance of your loyalty to me, Sekhmet.”

“What has made you question it?”

“I have seen your skills in deception first hand.”

“And you think torturing me will keep me devoted to you? How did that work for you last time?”

Ba’al approached her and his hand stroked her cheek. “I would like to try some new...techniques.” His other hand came forward with a small circle between his fingers and he pressed it into her temple. Nes flinched at the pain. “The memory recall device should be especially interesting on someone like you.”

She watched as he pulled out a handheld device. “I am still modifying it, but this is based off of how Anubis programmed his Kull Warriors. Thank you again for the help with that.” He pushed a button and pain radiated through Nes’ skull along with memories she knew weren’t her own.

The visions were of Ba’al. Victorious in battle, generous to the poor, a healer to the sick, protector of the weak, kind, gracious, merciful, a god to be worshipped. He was life and freedom and happiness.

What he was  _ not, _ however, was aware that Nes had already survived the onslaught of brainwashing that Sekhmet had attempted. While she certainly felt herself swayed by his methods, she still knew the memories to be false ones and could put them in the same places she kept Sekhmet’s delusions of godhood.

He would now have to endure a lesson in her strength and mental resilience. An hour with the device seemed to yield the desired result to him, though, and from there she was taken to her prior quarters to rest. When she woke, Nes hunted through the selection of dresses and jewelry she’d brought with her and called for a servant to assist her, the poor girl completely unaware that she was assisting in her god’s destruction.

Nes moved confidently through the corridors towards Ba’al’s rooms, where the guards granted her access after gaining permission from the goa’uld.

“Sekhmet, I am glad to see you are rested.” He watched closely as he rose to approach her, but she starved his suspicion with the devotion that radiated off her face and body.

His confidence in her allegiance was foolish, but she still found herself having to fight the images he’d forced into her mind. It took all her mental strength to push back the desire to please him, to remember what it was like to be controlled by a goa’uld burrowing into her mind. He was trying to use her just as Sekhmet had and she had to assert her own power.

With all of her attention on her own thoughts, she offered no resistance to his physical advances nor his slow guidance to the large bed on the far side of the room. She, Nes, had to find something to grasp onto or all of his brainwashing would take control.

Elliot. She tried again to remember his arms, his kisses, his smiles, but they seemed so distant compared to Ba’al’s strength and immediacy. No, she couldn’t be Nes right now. She needed Sekhmet’s need for power and dominance. That slight shift allowed her to regain her mind and she was no longer a passive participant in Ba’al’s schemes.

Nes pulled Ba’al down onto her, but a quick tap of her not-purely-decorative armband revealed a knife, a trick she’d remembered from Apophis’ attack on Sokar’s jaffa. She stabbed it into Ba’al’s throat, enjoying the gurgling shock pouring from his mouth. He grasped at the wound, but it was pointless, the blood spilling onto Nes and the bed as his skin grew pale.

She grabbed hold of his face, forcing him to look at his killer. “I will never be your slave, Ba’al. Right now you should pray to your goddess that perhaps I will decide to revive you even after your betrayal.”

The goa’uld’s eyes flashed as his body went limp and Nes had to smile at the repetition of events. She wanted to revel in his death longer, but the warm blood began to annoy her and she roughly shoved his body onto the other side of the bed. Now she needed to decide her next course of action. The loyalty to Ba’al could possibly be swayed in the jaffa soldiers, but the Kull Warriors would never serve anyone but their programmed master. She’d never survive any attempt at usurping his power...or escaping.

She’d have to revive him.

There was no other choice that would allow her to continue to live, and the goa’uld parts of her still kept that goal as her first priority. She went to the doors and ordered the guards to discreetly take their god to the sarcophagus while she waited there. More guards were summoned, though, and she was instead escorted to a cell to wait for Ba’al’s return.

She stood as he approached the bars she was held behind, the rage on his face accented by the blood still covering his clothing. It maybe wasn’t a good sign that his anger had prompted an immediate trip to see her when normally he would have at least changed first.

“I should have killed you back on Asdad. Or at least left you dead.”

Nes smiled sweetly. “Then you would not have your new army.” She crossed her arms and Ba’al’s eyes noted the blood that had soaked into her own clothing along with the armband that concealed a weapon. “I made it very clear that if you tried to force yourself on me, I would kill you. I am more than happy to offer you my allegiance, but I expect this arrangement to be...mutually beneficial, if you’ll recall. Every attempt you make to enslave me will only harm yourself.” Nes stepped closer to the bars. “And with every show of trust you will find yourself rewarded.”

Ba’al pursed his lips in thought, before turning to leave. “Escort the Lord Sekhmet to her quarters and place a guard at her door.” He stopped suddenly. “And remove her armband.”

Nes smiled and removed the gold piece herself, handing it to the guards as they entered her cell. She was glad to wash the smell of blood off her body and change into fresh clothes before she was summoned to join Ba’al for his evening meal.

“Can I assume that this invitation suggests a resumption of our alliance?” She lowered herself smoothly into the chair opposite Ba’al.

“How did you resist the brainwashing?”

Nes laughed quietly. “How did you think that would actually work on me? A lesser mind, yes, but me? Come now, Ba’al. Do not be foolish.”

He smirked in admiration across the table and reached for his wine. “I will concede defeat, my dear. You are clearly more exceptional than I had originally thought.” He raised his glass. “To our reign of the galaxy.”

Nes picked up her own glass and joined the toast. It was possible he was poisoning her again, but they really had no choice but to trust one another. They were both too good at killing each other to not work together.

“Now, why don’t you enlighten me on our war against the System Lords. Many seem to have already fallen.”

“Yes, but first, I would like to hear about the Tau’ri weapon.”

“Well, my  _ dear _ , I was making good progress on obtaining information when my health took an unexpected turn. What I did learn, however, is that the weapon is still operational, despite the rumors generated by the System Lords. Earth is now well protected by both the weapon  _ and _ the Asgard who had been occupied by their own wars until recently. The opportunity to destroy Earth is lost, but I think we both agree that it is likely more beneficial to us to keep it intact for the time being anyway.”

“Interesting. I  _ had _ heard rumors that the power source for the weapon was depleted.”

“A tactic the System Lords hoped would lure you to your destruction when you attacked Earth. I read through the conversations that occurred during their meetings with the Tau’ri and they were quite open about their hopes for that outcome.”

“So what do you propose we do about the Tau’ri now?”

“Why do we need to do anything? Our attention is needed to deal with the System Lords for the moment and the Tau’ri weapon is still confined to Earth. They will not be a threat to us out here until they figure out how to replicate the technology as well as build their own fleet of ships. They will likely continue to be a nuisance for the time being, but your fleet will continue to grow.”

“You seem very confident in their limitations.”

“I am confident in their  _ goals. _ There are certainly those on Earth who wish to free the rest of the galaxy from what they see as the oppressive rule of the Goa’uld, but their leaders are more focused on simply keeping their own planet safe. They will act defensively, certainly, but until an offensive is seen as a minimal risk to their world, they will remain cowering behind their own walls, ignoring whatever else we do to the other humans and jaffa.”

“Then perhaps you need not return to the Tau’ri. I would appreciate your presence here.” He gave her a seductive smile.

“And here I was thinking that a further infiltration of The Trust would be a better use of my energies. The Asgard will do nothing to stop us from slowly taking over the planet in more subtle ways. We need only keep in power the type of men who will pretend they have yet to discover life beyond their world.”

“And I am to continue to wait patiently for you to assume your role as my queen?” His voice held both hunger and frustration.

“Is your human host so weak that you cannot bear to be without me for a while longer?” She smiled sweetly, further tormenting him.

“Your charms  _ are _ very appealing, my dear, but I suppose I can find other distractions while I wait.”

She knew he was hoping to appeal to her jealous side and it worked as she thought of him bedding other women, but jealousy was an emotion of weakness when it took away control. Had she already positioned herself as his queen, then her jealous wrath poured out onto any other women who tempted her lord would give or maintain her power, but for the moment, it was an emotion that needed to be ignored and she was nothing if not good at ignoring negative feelings.

“Poor substitutes, I’m sure, but if you lack the necessary self control…” Nes took another sip of her wine before standing and drawing near to Ba’al’s chair. “Do remember, though, that my  _ greater  _ self control does not in the slightest suggest a  _ lesser  _ desire.” She let her fingers glide through his hair. “Do not make your company less appealing to me with your games.”

His face showed that he understood her threat and his hand came around her waist as he stood. “When do you wish to leave?”

“Right away, I should think. I may yet be able to re-establish myself with the Tau’ri even with my ill-timed and sudden departure.” She gave him a reprimanding look. “Have you poisoned me this time as well? I do not appreciate my efforts being interrupted.”

“It may be best if I do not tell you. I would like you to return regardless of your need for my sarcophagus.” He leaned down and placed a few kisses on her neck. “But to save you time, when you return you can fly your tel’tak to one of my planets that is closer to Earth and then travel through the Stargate. My jaffa will know to look for you and send the proper codes to deactivate the shield I have installed.”

“That would certainly be helpful.” Nes let a kiss linger on Ba’al’s lips before pulling back. “I will see you when I get back then.”

“Mmhmm...I look forward to it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.08 “Covenant”

Nes began the journey back to Earth, this time with files provided by Ba’al on the operations of The Trust. From her reading and her previous knowledge obtained from the SGC, The Trust seemed to be a self-appointed protector of Earth. They had no rules beyond “the ends justify the means,” and they were willing to do anything and everything. Though they considered the Goa’uld to be their enemies in general, that didn’t mean they were opposed to using them when they could. In many ways, The Trust was simply a group that functioned like Nes had at times, and that knowledge bothered her. Was she really willing to operate without any moral code at all? To do whatever she, and she alone, deemed necessary to achieve her goals?

Her objectives were so fuzzy and fluid, it was really hard to tell. Did she alter her morals to achieve goals or her goals to maintain her morals? There were times when she had given up her goals in order to help someone, to save people. Surely that meant she wasn’t quite as amoral as The Trust, right?

Nes beamed herself down to one of the houses she owned in DC, this one on Embassy Row, though she owned several others scattered in various neighborhoods. While Sekhmet had certainly spent quite a bit of time in the city, exerting her influence over the various politicians, she had no love for her time there. One would think that a goa’uld would fit in nicely with the power hungry men and women of the area, but Sekhmet had merely felt disgust for their desperate attempts at controlling those around them. They were inferior at what the symbiote had considered an artform and therefore she could have no respect for them. Instead she used their desires against them, manipulating subtly in most cases, but also resorting to flat out blackmail when needed. Even now, the information Nes had on hand could easily take out the majority of those in power and she was only mildly ashamed that she’d continued collecting not just money, but favors as well. She could run the city and country if she so chose, but that still did not endear her to the games that the area’s occupants insisted on playing

The Renaissance Revival townhouse was lovely nonetheless, and Nes could at least appreciate the architecture and antiques while she lived within its walls. The memories were not nearly as enjoyable, though, and she found herself taking up residence in a smaller guest bedroom rather than the master. Too many liaisons had occurred there, too many men bound to serve the goa’uld by their uncontrolled appetites. Nes’ stomach churned at the thought of how the country had been shaped by the things that went on behind those doors, hosts’ bodies used in whatever ways gained Sekhmet her desired results.

Nes made the necessary calls to set herself up in the city, getting money, identification, and other necessities for her current persona, choosing a queenly name to complement Ba’al’s kingly selections, and then made herself scarce for the rest of the day as her home was cleaned and stocked with groceries and other supplies.

The next morning, Nes donned business attire and glasses and took a cab to Farrow-Marshall Aeronautics in Bethesda. It was as simple as requesting a meeting with Charlotte Mayfield, Emyr Kagan’s name a guarantee that she was rapidly added to the vice president’s calendar for the day. Nes was escorted to a conference room with glass walls, Miss Mayfield likely not wanting too much privacy for a meeting with anyone sent by Ba’al, and she waited rather impatiently, pacing through the drably decorated room.

While Nes may have been able to contain her jealousy with the idea of unknown and faceless women with Ba’al, the blonde who walked into the room made it difficult to keep her eyes from flashing in rage. She was slim and classically pretty with blue eyes and long straight blonde hair, but her too short skirt and low cut top indicated to the more experienced, though younger, woman that Charlotte had not climbed to her position on her resume alone. Nes congratulated herself on choosing an outfit that suggested class rather than availability, knowing that would gain her the respect she sought, especially with the direct contrast with Mayfield.

“Miss Regine Eriksen, welcome to Farrow-Marshall. I must say, I’m rather surprised by your visit today.”

While her presence was being masked by a drug that Ba’al had developed over the last year, Nes immediately recognized the familiar mannerisms of Athena and switched into her goa’uld voice. “You shouldn’t be. You must have known that Ba’al would be disappointed by your lack of progress.”

Athena’s eyes flashed and her own voice shifted. “So he sent a She’ket?” she asked in disgust.

“Watch your tongue, Athena, or I will cut it out. I have even less patience than Ba’al and you’ve surely been present on this planet long enough to know that I’m more than capable of...finding you a new position within our organization.” The shorter woman understood the threat and finally motioned to the chairs for them to sit.

Nes shifted back into her human voice. “Now, Ba’al gave me his personal assurances that you would assist me in getting...plugged into operations here on Earth.”

“You’ve been working with those at Stargate Command.” Athena crossed her arms, suspicion on her face.

“Are you questioning Ba’al’s trust in me? Because I believe that is something to take up with  _ him _ .” Again, her threats aimed true and the goa’uld’s body tensed.

“Of course not. I merely wonder if the others will trust you given your apparent loyalty to those at the SGC.”

“I would think that I am the perfect addition then, though I doubt those at the SGC would think my loyalty was apparent in any way.”

Athena smiled. “Yes, you haven’t exactly operated under their rules.”

“Rules were meant for lesser beings.” She could see that Athena was wondering if that statement included her, but the goa’uld chose not to take the bait of an argument.

“Current operations of The Trust are spread quite widely and they are not well organized. This has been frustrating, but should be an area we can take advantage of rather easily. I’ve been spending the majority of my time attending to the business operations here so that Ba’al may have a presence on this planet to join the rest of his territory.”

Athena was sure The Trust didn’t yet know that Charlotte Mayfield had been taken as a host, though they likely had grown slightly suspicious of her change in daily activities.

“And you gave that priority over your orders to infiltrate The Trust.”

Athena’s face went slightly pale.

“Did you hope that Ba’al would reward you if you gave him money and power in the business world instead? Were you hoping to gain his favor? That he would...what? Appoint you his queen for your efforts?” She laughed quietly at the suggestion which caused a distinct stiffening in the other woman’s jaw.

“I was merely trying to establish a base of sorts  _ first  _ before moving my focus onto The Trust.”

“Well, I will  _ allow _ you to continue spending your energy here for the moment. You will, of course, take the necessary time to make the proper introductions for me, though.” Nes stood smoothly. “I will expect to hear from you within the week.” She laid on the table a business card that she’d had printed the day before. She’d gone ahead and given Regine Eriksen a PhD in astrophysics. It may yet be a while before she was on Earth long enough to ever complete the work necessary for Nesert’s schooling, but she needed the authority the degree gave her in this venture. She deemed herself a consultant and had a new cell phone number listed, but otherwise the card was clean and empty and nondescript.

Nes left the room with confidence and didn’t bother waiting for a security escort as she made her way to the elevators. Athena had been properly scared into action - Nes would be able to use her effectively over the coming months or longer. She’d have to keep an eye on her, however, as the lesser goa’uld would likely try to eliminate her new rival and, of course, she’d need to eventually sever Athena’s ties to Ba’al. Nes wouldn’t tolerate any competition from a fellow goddess of war, especially one as pathetic as the one pretending to be Charlotte Mayfield.

Nes was contacted a few days later by Athena and put in touch with a group that was closely monitoring a businessman who knew more than The Trust wanted him to. Alec Colson’s company, Colson Industries, was involved in a few research projects originating from the Stargate Program, though the Earth business was never told  _ what _ exactly they were working on. Unfortunately for them, The Trust had been monitoring their contributions and noted that they had gone beyond their contracted tasks on more than one occasion. The Trust had already gotten a tight hold on Colson’s friend, Brian Vogler, who was responsible for the finances of Colson Industries, but he wasn’t being completely forthcoming. Nes’ expertise could be valuable.

A man who introduced himself as Agent Jennings met her near the Lincoln Memorial one day and informed her that Vogler would arrange her hiring as a consultant and they would leave it up to her unique skill set to find out what Colson was hiding. If she had more time, she could go at Colson directly, but it appeared things were about to change, so she’d have to approach Vogler instead.

The Trust seemed to trust her immediately, likely a combination of her connection to Mayfield as well as their close monitoring of her actions since she’d been apprehended in Boston. They knew she wasn’t always completely honest with the SGC about her activities, though it was unclear to Nes how much they really knew. She may find herself on the wrong side of blackmail if she wasn’t careful. Of course, no matter how deep their ties ran, hers went deeper and spread farther.

She expected them to arrange a flight for her, but instead she was guided to a car by Jennings and driven to a warehouse outside of the city.

“Take this.” Jennings handed her a device and she immediately found herself aboard a goa’uld ship.

“You have an al’kesh,” she commented as she noted the design of the cargo hold she was now in.

“Yes. It belonged to Osiris and Anubis had it outfitted it with Asgard beaming technology.”

“But Osiris was captured by SG-1. How did The Trust find it?”

“The Stargate program acquired her ribbon device and sent it to Area 51.” He gave her a sinister smile. “It wasn’t difficult to buy off the scientist who was trying to get it to work.”

Nes returned the smile. “Impressive.”

“We had a little trouble with the command codes. Anubis put all of them into Ancient, but a few well-timed threats convinced Dr. Daniel Jackson to translate them for us. We then had full control of the ship.”

“Well, it’s certainly better than the long flight to Seattle.”

“We’ve set you up in a hotel near Colson Industries’ head office, but I’ll beam you down to an abandoned warehouse first. You can get a cab from there.”

Once back down on the ground, Nes altered her physical appearance just enough to not raise any suspicion, changing her hairstyle, wearing glasses, and shifting her mannerisms to a woman who rivaled the nervousness of Mr. Vogler. She was far from intimidating, which relaxed the CFO’s body initially as she stood in his office, but once the door shut behind her, Nes became The Butcher. She suspected that it would take very little to shift him into a full blown panic. Vogler had been cooking the books for a while already and The Trust had used that as his leash, but Nes would be the whip to strike fear into their pet.

She calmly sat down in the chair facing his desk and motioned for him to sit as well. “Mr. Vogler, it seems obvious that you and I already have a clear understanding that need not be elaborated upon with words, correct?” She waited for his quick nod. “Good. There’s been some suspicion that you haven’t been completely honest with my associates. They thought you might be more willing to disclose any further information to me.” She smiled in a way that was both kind and threatening and she noted the poor man’s tie starting to bounce as his body trembled with fear.

“I’ve told them everything,” he said in a voice that also shook.

“Now, I highly doubt that. You may be scared, but you’re still trying to hold onto a bit of loyalty to Mr. Colson.”

“Please, don’t hurt me.”

“I will have no need if you simply hand over any information you’ve withheld.” She crossed her legs and folded her hands in front of her. “What is Alec Colson up to? He’s scheduled a press conference for this afternoon.”

The terrified man leaned forward and lowered his voice. “He knows about the ships, the alien ships. He has pictures. Our company helped with the cleanup on Antarctica and it was fairly obvious not everything was...human technology.”

Nes pursed her lips in thought. “That’s it? A few pictures? Don’t toy with me,  _ Brian _ . What else does he have?”

“Please...I can’t.” A few tears streamed down his cheeks and Nes felt Sekhmet’s disgust for his weakness rise up.

“I doubt Alec will punish you for the betrayal in the ways I will.”

Vogler took several slow breaths before dropping his face into his hands. “We cloned an alien, grew him.”

Nes raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What kind of alien?”

He looked up at her. “A little gray one. He doesn’t talk or anything, though. I mean...he’s alive, but he doesn’t...do anything.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “The Department of Defense gave our biotech company some DNA to sequence...Alec had them clone it, see what it was.”

“Very interesting. And he’s going to reveal it at the press conference?”

“No. He’s going to give the involved governments twenty-four hours to come clean.”

“Well, that’s certainly foolish.”

“I’ve tried to stop him! I’ve tried everything! His father was a reporter jailed during the McCarthy era. He believes people deserve to know the truth. He won’t back down.” He looked down at his desk. “Will you kill him?”

Nes kept silent until his eyes raised up to hers again and then she gave him one of Sekhmet’s smirks. “Thank you for your time today, Mr. Vogler.” She stood, still wearing Sekhmet’s mannerisms. “I suggest you try again to stop your friend or it won’t just be me that you’ll need to worry about.”

As he watched, she put her glasses on again and shifted her body back into Regine Eriksen. His jaw dropped at the change he witnessed and she gave him a shy smile before nervously heading for the door. She said a quick goodbye as she opened the door and then smiled at his secretary on her way past.

Nes allowed herself the extra time to leave the building and called Agent Jennings at the number he’d given her, letting him know what Colson had planned. She fought back the guilt that she was potentially killing Colson and Vogler with that phone call, but it couldn’t be helped. Even if The Trust didn’t go after them, the Stargate program wouldn’t be able to sit idly by while the company told the world about aliens. There were always people like her that had to do the dirty work for the more morally conscious in power.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.08 “Covenant”

It was agreed to allow the press conference to go on as planned, as obviously it would look highly suspicious for anything to occur immediately before and there wasn’t really time to get anything in place, either. Instead, they would discredit him afterwards, maybe even orchestrate an accident. Nes would do her best to prevent their deaths if she could, but it was out of her hands in many ways. It was never in her hands, really. She was a tool - it would have simply been someone else if it weren’t her.

The media went into an uproar with Colson’s assertion of alien life, as expected. Nes was sent to the airfield where Colson kept his private plane, a different personality masking her identity and allowing her access to the hangar. Jennings wanted the engine sabotaged in a way that would look like an accident or pilot error, which would be fairly simple, but Nes had different goals than The Trust. Instead, she tampered with the engine in such a way that a good pilot would still be able to land safely. She’d claim some excuse involving primitive technology or some such nonsense when Colson survived.

Nes made her way back to Colson Industries, but spotted Sam and Daniel in suits entering the building as she arrived. They didn’t notice her - her appearance too altered and their focus too trained on their current task - but she kept a fair distance from them anyway. Perhaps they would have better luck than Vogler in convincing Colson to keep quiet, but she doubted it. The man was insistent on the truth being the best option in every situation. Had his wife and daughter not died in a plane crash years earlier, his ‘honesty is the best policy’ mantra may have been toned down a bit, but he had no one to balance out his foolish idealism and optimistic view of mankind.

Nes watched casually from outside of Colson’s office and the body language alone confirmed her initial thoughts on their chances of success. Sam and Daniel eventually left in frustration and Nes trailed behind them as they left. She couldn’t stop the smile that formed as the pair got into a red Mustang convertible. Perhaps they thought of her when they drove it, though this one was new compared to her vintage one back in Colorado Springs. Sam was on the phone and looked annoyed, but it was unclear who was on the other side of the conversation.

Back inside, she made her way back up to Vogler’s office where he was looking even more nervous than he had been before.

“I’m doing my best. Please,” he begged her and she moved close enough to put a finger on his chest.

“Your best hasn’t been good enough. Think of a different strategy.”

He loosened his tie in agitation. “Our stock price is falling. I’ve already tried appealing to his business instincts.”

“Then I suggest you appeal to his survival instincts.” She put both hands on his tie and tightened it against his throat again. “Or I will.”

She left him to it again, but she had zero confidence in his abilities to convince Colson’s stronger personality to back down. Vogler was weak.

Nes didn’t bother having a presence at the next press conference, not wanting her image on camera for those at Stargate Command to see. Colson trotted out the Asgard shell they’d grown as it looked into the cameras dazed and agitated. And he ended the little show promptly before any further questions could occur. The entire building was in chaos, security tightened, and phones ringing nonstop and Nes stood off to the side, observing in Regine’s nervous way. She enjoyed watching the panic, though - especially Vogler as he grew more and more flustered.

It didn’t take long for the Stargate program to spring into action and Nes moved closer to Colson’s office as one of his staffers came running through the doors.

“ **It's gone,** ” she said in a defeated tone.

“ **What do you mean?** ” Colson barely looked up as she spoke.

“ **Just disappeared right out of the lab.** ” Nes could see Colson’s confusion through the windows. “ **The alien! Computers, everything.** ”

“ **How? What about security?** ” He finally stood, trying to decipher the situation.

“ **Nobody took it. It disappeared. We were standing right there, there was a bright flash of light, and it was all just gone.** ”

Colson grabbed his jacket and made his way towards the door. “ **Alright, have Ron send out the decoy car and get the plane ready for a trip to Washington. Have it ready by the time I get to the hangar.** ”

Nes backed away and took deep breaths, last minute worries that her sabotage would lead to more than a rough landing for the CEO springing up in her mind. Colson went straight to Vogler’s office to grab him and she made sure to place herself in their path outside of the building and catch the CFO’s eye as they exited. He went pale as he passed, but gave her a quick nod. At this point she was likely just tormenting the poor man, but she couldn’t stop herself.

After they left, personnel at the office all gathered around televisions as they watched Carter demonstrate holographic technology on a news program, showing another Asgard, this one being able to speak. It was clear the Asgard themselves had assisted in this ruse and she inwardly congratulated the Stargate program for such a brilliant way of discrediting the accusations.

Following the program, word started to spread about Colson’s plane having to land almost immediately after takeoff when the plane suffered sudden depressurisation and loss of engine power. No one was injured, though, and Nes breathed a sigh of relief.

Colson and Vogler returned to Colson Industries, but Nes was surprised when she was called into Vogler’s office as he paced the room.

“He’s gone!”

Nes sat down with an annoyed expression. “Who’s gone, Brian?”

“Alec! We were talking in his office and then suddenly there was a flash of light and he was just...gone!”

It must have been the SGC, especially if the Asgard were in orbit assisting with containment of the situation.

Vogler continued. “He called. He said he’s fine and will be back in a few days, but I don’t know where he is.”

Nes leaned back in thought. “I think this may be the perfect time for your actions of the last six months to come to fruition then, wouldn’t you agree?”

He went white again. “The company will go under. There must be another way. Alec and I will go to jail.”

“Yes, but you’ll be alive.” She looked up to catch his eyes. “As will your family.”

His jaw dropped in horror.

“Start copying all of the data you have left on the various alien technologies and then I suggest you schedule a meeting with the SEC.”

The financial meltdown of the company would assist the government’s efforts in making it look like all of the alien talk had simply been a way to distract from the money troubles of Colson Industries. No one would believe them once their top tier was all in prison. And Nes knew that truly would be the safest place for them in many ways. She hoped, at least.

Soon the media caught onto the story that the company was being investigated for securities fraud. Vogler was cracking, his life in shambles, and Nes finally felt guilt over how she was helping to destroy him. For all her self talk that she was keeping The Trust from doing much worse, watching a man fall apart in front of her was disturbing. Screaming in agony was one thing, the melting of a man’s hope as he tried to save his family was entirely different and not something Nes found herself enjoying.

Colson eventually reappeared along with Carter and she knew they would find Vogler, drunk, in Colson’s office, preparing himself for his friend’s disappointment. When Vogler returned to his own office after talking with them, Nes was there in the shadows.

“They’re going to use you, aren’t they? Try to access The Trust through your contacts.” Her words made him jump, but he slumped in his chair in despair.

“They want me to wear a wire.”

“You know I can’t allow that.” Nes had already called Jennings with an update and they had a strong suspicion that Vogler was the weak link in their plans.

“Please...I just want to protect my family.” He was crying in earnest by this point.

“Of course. You can still do that, Brian.” Her voice was comforting and silky. “You’re the only lead they have. The rest of us don’t exist.”

Vogler took a deep breath, trying to collect himself. “What do you want me to do?”

“We’ll arrange a meeting for you with some nobody and you’ll play along that he is in fact your contact.”

“That’s it?” His voice was equal parts relief and suspicion, but he should have had more of the latter emotion. The Trust would never let him survive this and Nes should have known that from the beginning.  _ He _ should have known that from the very first betrayal.

“Go home, Brian.” He nodded and left, Nes waiting until the hall was empty before exiting as well. Another phone call to Jennings and she had the orders she expected. It would be simple, at least logistically.

The Trust operatives aboard the al’kesh beamed Nes down to Vogler’s home, surveillance outside preventing any other means of entering the house. She moved to the kitchen quietly where she found the defeated man with a bottle in his hand.

“Hello, Brian.”

He didn’t even look surprised. “I knew you wouldn’t let me live.”

“The Trust doesn’t want you to live, but I can offer you an out. I can help you disappear.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m not who they think I am.”

“And if I live...what will happen to my family?” He sat down at the kitchen table and looked up at her.

“We can fake your death. If The Trust thinks you’re dead, they’ll leave your family alone.”

“And if they find out I’m still alive?”

Nes shrugged. “They won’t.”

“But if they do?” His voice got louder and he tightened his fists.

Nes put her hands in her pockets, irritated by his lack of trust in her abilities. “There’s always that risk, of course, but I’m very skilled at this sort of thing.”

“Killing people or faking their deaths?”

“Both, actually.” She smiled, but he was clearly unamused.

Silence spread through the room as Nes let him think things over. “Okay. When?”

“I need to arrange a few things, but I’ll be back first thing in the morning.” She gave him a stern look. “I can save you.” His face was blank, but she needed to hurry. She tapped her wrist to beam herself up to her own ship. She’d have to recruit the SGC to her efforts, let them know what The Trust was planning. First, she needed to obtain a few supplies, including a tracking beacon she’d set up with her ship’s sensors. She wanted to be able to monitor the movements of The Trust’s al’kesh, keep an eye on them, and make sure her tel’tak kept its distance.

It was all futile, though, trying to undo what she’d already set in motion. When she beamed herself back to Vogler’s house, she could already feel the death spreading in the air. She found him in the upstairs bathroom, behind glass doors, hanging from a noose he’d tied to the showerhead on the ceiling of the walk-in shower, a stool kicked over, his feet dangling and eyes open.

He wasn’t willing to take the chance that his family would be targeted and Nes had to choke back the vomit that forced itself up her throat. She’d done this. She’d pushed him to the edge. She should have just killed him, at least saved him the torment of having to do it himself. She heard voices float up the stairs and, after shifting herself back to Sekhmet’s personality, pressed the button on the device she’d been given. Nes again found herself back on Osiris’ ship with Jennings and a few other operatives.

“It’s done,” she said casually as she tossed the device to the woman standing nearby. “A very sad suicide of a broken man.”

She was congratulated as she pretended to look at the rest of their setup, slipping the small tracker where they would hopefully never find it, but she soon instructed them to beam her back to her house in DC. Their complete lack of conscience repelled Nes, but also invited her in, whispered that she was like them. She had to get away before the whispers took hold, before she was forced to acknowledge that she had done exactly as they would have done.

Once in the quiet of her home, she rushed to her own bathroom to throw up. It did nothing more than increase her nausea and she finally picked herself up off the cool tile floor to head to the kitchen for a drink.

Water first to rinse her mouth, but she moved quickly to much stronger liquids, needing at least a temporary respite from the horror of her actions over the last several days. She could have saved him. There were different choices she could have made to keep his despair from taking over, but instead she’d enjoyed his suffering until it was too late to undo.

Colson was next on her list, but the other operative, Hoskins, had suggested she give him a day or two, so they didn’t raise too many eyebrows with another suicide in quick succession. She had more time, then. Hopefully. She thought she’d had enough time with Vogler, but she’d underestimated his desperation. How could she have missed it?

The liquor was seeping into her thoughts, but she was still sober enough to know she needed to see Sam, let her know what she’d been up to and warn her about The Trust’s plans for Alec Colson. She beamed herself back up to her ship and then, after a few scans, down to Carter’s house. The woman was in her kitchen, looking distraught, but immediately reached for her gun at Nes’ sudden appearance.

“Nes! What are you doing here? Where have you been?” She holstered the gun again and leaned onto the counter. “You have Asgard beaming technology. Ba’al?”

Nes nodded sheepishly.

“Well, that explains how you got out of the SGC.”

“It’s a long story, but I came to warn you.” It felt like her guilt needed to be physically pushed away to get out any words. “The Trust isn’t going to let Alec Colson live.”

“How could you know that?” Her voice pitched up a bit in suspicion.

“Because I’ve been assigned to kill him.”

“You killed Brian Vogler.”

Nes held up her hands, but her voice was thick with the emotions she was trying to swallow down. “No. I didn’t. I promise, Sam. I was supposed to, but…” she closed her eyes and shook her head slowly “...I told Brian I’d help him disappear instead.” She dropped her hands. “I left to arrange things...but he didn’t want to risk The Trust going after his family. He was dead when I got back.”

Sam looked away in disappointment. “Why are you working with The Trust, Nes? What the hell are you thinking?”

“Sam, I’m trying to disrupt their efforts as best I can. They trust me. I kept them from killing Colson and Vogler earlier in the plane.” That should count for something, shouldn’t it?

“How?”

“I volunteered to sabotage it, but did in such a way that I was sure they could survive.”

“Nes, this is dangerous ground you’re treading,” she said with some worry.

Nes walked into the living room and plopped down into an armchair. “I know, Sam, but what else am I supposed to do? They’re too big now. I can’t just turn over the few operatives I know and hope that ends things. It won’t even be scratching the surface.” She sat up straighter and pushed her shoulders back. “If you want Colson to survive, you need to help him disappear. You only have a few days.”

Sam had followed her and sat down on the couch. “How can we trust you?”

“I don’t know. I can’t just walk away from this opportunity to hinder their plans, though.”

Sam nodded, seeming to understand, but brought her hand up to her face where Nes noted a small sparkle.

“What is  _ that _ ?” She pointed to the other woman’s finger and Sam brought her hand out to look as well.

“Pete proposed...and I said yes.”

“Really? Engaged? Wow. That’s big, Sam. Congratulations.” Nes wanted to feel happy for her, but it felt wrong somehow, like she was leaving their world behind. And truth be told, her leftover Sekhmet instincts suspected that Pete wasn’t the only man Sam had feelings for. She almost mentioned those thoughts, but instead changed subjects. “Sam? Any word from the Atlantis expedition?” She had to ask. She had to know.

Sam shook her head. “No. Nothing yet, but hopefully it’s just a matter of them not having the power necessary to dial Earth right now.”

Nes sighed, not feeling any of Sam’s optimism. “I have to go. I’ll try to be in touch when I can, but The Trust has dozens of small groups all operating on their own. Getting to any upper level management within the ranks will take time. It may not even be possible.”

“Be careful, Nes. None of these people will hesitate to kill you.”

Nes smirked. “Yes, but unfortunately for them, I’m the same way.”

She tapped her wrist and was back in her ship again and then, within a few minutes, her DC house. She poured herself drink after drink until she finally collapsed on the couch, drunk and guilt ridden. At least she was trying to save Colson, though Vogler should have been the one to live.

Nes would have to be more careful or she’d never survive her time with The Trust, playing enforcer and hitman for the already morally corrupt elitists pretending to save the planet. They were hardly better than the Goa’uld, gathering up power for themselves in order to preserve their way of life, to protect the greater good in some obscure way.

She decided right then that she’d take care of Vogler’s family financially. It wouldn’t even require any sacrifice on her part so it felt like nothing, but she had to do something. He had wanted to protect his wife and children, though, and she could at least protect them from poverty.

It was blood money, but they wouldn’t know that. They’d be grateful when they shouldn’t be. They’d take the money and live their lives and she’d ease her conscience by just the tiniest amount. It was nothing, but it was something.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.10 “Endgame”

Colson did in fact disappear and Nes moved on to other tasks within the former rogue NID operations, but too soon she started to note the effects of another poisoning and she cursed Ba’al - inwardly  _ and _ outwardly. It was simpler returning to him this time, at least. She chose a planet of Ba’al’s that was significantly closer and was relieved that he had done his part in notifying his troops of her expected arrival. They were quick to do her bidding, taking care of her ship and dialing Tartarus at her behest. She was weak - not as significantly as the last time, but Ba’al still sent her off to a sarcophagus immediately. With no ability to find a new host ever, he really would have to take greater care of his future queen.

Their interactions were just as before, him seductive and charming, her encouraging, but cold. He had every confidence in his success in all realms of life, but when word reached their ears of the slaughter of his armies on several worlds, his anger could not be quenched.

“It appears to be the symbiote poison developed by the Tok’ra, Lord Ba’al,” his First Prime reported as Nes stood off to the side listening.

“How do you know?” Ba’al’s jaw twitched slightly at the mention of the Tok’ra, fury taking over.

“All of your jaffa on those planets are dead with no wounds, no signs of battle, my lord.” He kept his body stiff, but Nes could hear the subtle unease in his words. The Jaffa did not fear death in battle, fighting to their last breath in strength, but being poisoned, dying helplessly was an entirely different matter. That shameful death was a horrifying prospect to any warrior.

“Leave us,” Ba’al commanded with a wave of his hand. The jaffa left and Nes moved toward Ba’al’s throne. “What are your thoughts, Sekhmet?”

“It does not seem to be the usual strategy of the Tok’ra. We all know they prefer disguise and subterfuge.”

“The Tau’ri then?”

“No. They would never kill the Jaffa like this, vermin to be exterminated. They would certainly use that tactic on us, but the Jaffa they still wish to save from their devotion.” Nes began to pace. “Have only your worlds been attacked? Perhaps one of the remaining System Lords has obtained the poison.”

“Perhaps…” Ba’al became lost in thought and Nes finally stopped in front of him, waiting for his attention.

“Would you like me to investigate whether the Tau’ri have more information?” she asked as he looked up.

“Yes.” He smirked at her. “Take special note of how the Shol’va reacts to these attacks. I wish I could witness the horror he will feel at the slaughter of so many of his brethren.”

Nes chuckled, playing the role she’d cast herself in. “Of course. And if they do not have further information, perhaps we can use this to divide the various forces that stand against us. The Jaffa traitors will never align with the Tok’ra if they suspect they are behind these attacks.” She leaned forward and kissed him. “I will report back as soon as I can.”

Nes moved quickly, working hard to keep herself calm. Millions of jaffa were now dead and despite her deceptions, that knowledge pained her. The jaffa at the gate dialed the planet where her tel’tak waited and from there she had the ship prepped with as much haste as was possible.

Nes came out of hyperspace, engaging her cloak, and could immediately see the Prometheus, Earth’s first interstellar battleship, bearing down on an al’kesh that seemed completely unaware of its predicament. She checked her screens and saw the tracker she’d planted on the al’kesh operated by The Trust. What were they doing? Why didn’t they flee? And why didn’t the Prometheus attack?

The al’kesh came to life then, but still, the Prometheus did nothing. The hyperdrive engines fired up and soon the goa’uld built ship was moving rapidly towards a generated wormhole and disappearing into hyperspace. While in transit, she had no way of tracking them, but they couldn’t stay outside of normal space forever, and once they left hyperspace, it would be easy for Nes to capture them.

In the meantime, she’d have a little chat with her contacts within The Trust. Athena would have some major explaining to do and Nes decided to beam herself directly into the goa’uld’s office, sending the vice president up against the wall in shock.

“What are you doing here? You can’t just show up like this!” The blonde woman flashed her eyes at Nes in anger and fear.

Nes smiled and moved toward a chair. “I can do whatever I damn well please, especially after what I just witnessed between a certain al’kesh and the Prometheus. What is going  _ on _ down here?”

Athena straightened her jacket and took her own seat behind her desk. “Apparently, elements of The Trust got their hands on symbiote poison. I only just received word that they were using it.”

All the pieces clicked into place and Nes flashed her eyes in anger at the goa’uld in front of her. “Yes and they’ve been using it to attack several of Ba’al’s planets.”

The goa’uld went pale with this new piece of intel. “How many?”

“At least five planets that we know of. Millions of our lord’s jaffa are dead. And he is  _ not _ pleased.” She folded her hands. “Of course, he doesn’t know of The Trust’s involvement yet.”

“I suppose you will be all too keen to share that with him, though.”

“It was  _ your _ job to gain a foothold in The Trust, but instead you wasted time here. Now you have operatives running loose in the galaxy with all their knowledge of The Trust and Earth. How do you plan on remedying the situation?”

Athena shrugged, trying to appear calm, but the movement was stiff and Nes smiled at her efforts at deception. “I do not see what needs remedying. They will likely be destroyed or eventually return to Earth. We will carry on without them.”

“That’s quite a risk, waiting and doing nothing, continuing as though no failure has occurred.”

“It was not my failure.”

“I doubt Ba’al will see it that way.”

“And you do not fear his disappointment in your own efforts? You’ve been on Earth significantly longer with almost nothing to show for it.”

Nes smirked at the threat. “I think you are greatly underestimating my contributions.”

Athena glared across her desk at her rival. “Perhaps it would best for the both of us if we kept The Trust’s involvement unknown to Ba’al...for the moment. Just until we find out what has happened to the al’kesh.”

The younger woman brought a finger to her lips in thought before nodding. “Agreed.” Nes stood. “I will leave you to continue your work here.”

“And you?” Athena stood as well.

“I will return to Stargate Command, see what information I can glean from my...friends...there.” She smiled sweetly before touching her bracelet and beaming away.

Once aboard her own ship, she sank into one of the chairs on the bridge. She was growing weary of the duplicity in her life right now, but when she searched back for a time where that was not the case, she couldn’t find one. Ever since she’d been taken as a host, her life had been full of secrets and lies and deceit. Even when she’d told herself she was being honest with Elliot, she’d kept back the information necessary to save him. Then when she’d seen him again, she’d already started an alliance with Ba’al and had to keep that aspect of her life a secret. Once she had killed Anna, the lies had become too many to ignore. She’d had to distance herself, she could see no other option with him.

But she regretted it now, knowing it couldn’t be undone.

Eventually, she beamed herself down to her house in Colorado Springs, quickly shedding her elaborate dress and climbing into a bath. She needed time to think, to figure out her next steps, to decide what information to share and withhold. Jack had been right. There was never a time when she wasn’t calculating. She made decisions based on the outcome and threat to her own person, rather than on friendship and trust.

Nes was happy to put on simple jeans and a tshirt. As beautiful as the gowns that she wore in Ba’al’s presence were, she liked the relaxed feel of simpler attire. It felt much more real than her days pretending to be a false goddess and she needed every ounce of reality she could get her hands on.

Again she drove to the SGC and again she was greeted by a new guard.

“Good grief, what’s the turnover rate on you guys? Just once, I’d like to come back and see a familiar face at the gate.”

The airman was less than amused as he radioed into the base explaining that there was a woman who looked like The Butcher trying to gain access to their top secret facility.

Again she was escorted inside and again she was greeted by not-so-friendly faces.

She groaned dramatically at Jack’s look of reprimand. “Can we  _ please _ skip this part this time? It’s really getting old. And honestly, it makes me not want to come back at all.”

“If you would stop disappearing and acting like a damned traitor, Nes, then we would be able to greet you with open arms.”

“Such high demands.”

“Hardly.” Jack moved into the elevator and Nes followed.

“Well, aren’t you at least a little happy to see me? Especially the whole ‘not dead from poison’ part?”

“Hmph! It’s not like you’ve really been gone, now is it? There was that little situation with Colson Industries.” He noted her body tense. “Carter filled me in. So what role did you play in the symbiote poison fiasco we just had?”

“No role at all actually. I was with Ba’al.” She crossed her arms remembering his fury. “He was pretty pissed losing so many jaffa.”

“I bet. So why are you back now? Gathering more information for your goa’uld friend?”

She shrugged. “That’s certainly what he thinks.”

“Damnit, Nes. And what are  _ we _ supposed to think?”

“Jack, I don’t know. Do you think this is easy for me? I would love nothing more than to just stop pretending to be Sekhmet, but we both know I can’t.”

“Well, have you learned anything of actual  _ value _ to us?”

“Not much this time around. I wasn’t with Ba’al very long before his armies were hit and he sent me back here. I’m still working on The Trust, but it’s slow going.”

“Ah yes, The Trust. Such a lovely bunch.”

“You have no idea.” And he still wouldn’t. There was no reason he needed to know about Athena just yet. She couldn’t stop a small sigh. There she was, calculating again, but she wanted to deal with Athena personally when the time came. Plus, she needed her where she was for the time being. “So...I’m a bit vague on the details of what happened up there with the Prometheus...care to fill me in?”

“Not really.”

“Jack, I can’t go back empty handed. You’ve gotta give me something.”

He blew out a long slow breath. “Doesn’t work that way, Nes. You should know that by now.”

“I just have to be able to offer an explanation that doesn’t in any way look like my fault.”

“Worried your buddy won’t be too happy that you didn’t stop them from using the poison?”

“Technically it’s his own fault.” Jack looked over at her. “I had to return to Tartarus since he poisoned me again.”

“He likes doing that.”

“It’s my leash,” she spat out in disgust.

“So when do you have to go back?”

“I have at least a few more weeks. Won’t know if he’s poisoned me this time until I start feeling the effects.”

“Well, head to the infirmary to have the doc look you over. Then have them bring you to the briefing room. We’ll figure out what to do with you then.”

“Bring me?”

Jack motioned to a pair of airmen who were waiting before walking away and hollering back. “You know how this works, Nes.”

She let out an exasperated sigh before moving off towards the infirmary, her guards falling in step behind her.

Her overall exam confirmed her good health, though the poison did show up in her blood work again. She was surprised that Jack had instructed them to keep working on an antidote, but they still didn’t have anything yet.  _ They _ felt they were close, though, so  _ she _ felt a tiny bit of hope for a future freedom.

Down in the briefing room, she found Jack, but also Sam, Daniel, and Teal’c.

“Nes…” Daniel looked at her skeptically as she walked in. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Good to see you, too, Daniel.” She grabbed a seat and looked to Jack. “So how did The Trust pull this off?”

The others all looked to one another before Jack shrugged and Sam responded. “They used Asgard beaming technology to steal the gate and then fired rockets carrying the symbiote poison through the Stargate to several worlds.”

“Damn...well…” She stood slightly to look down through the windows to the gate room, “...looks like you got it back. Did they have more poison when they took off?”

“How’d you know they got away?” Sam asked.

“I just happened to show up in my own ship right as the Prometheus was bearing down on the al’kesh.”

“Did you know they had Osiris’ ship?” Daniel was clearly annoyed by this point.

“I may have had that information, yes.”

“You’ve been on the damn ship before, haven’t you?” Jack slapped the table. “Nes! Come on.”

“Come on, yourself! It’s not easy knowing what to share! Do you have any idea how deep The Trust runs now? I mean, how they’d even get the gate? They had to have tagged it. You’ve got a spy.”

“Besides you, yeah we know. A couple, actually, that got paid off.”

“They certainly have money on their side.”

“Yeah, where are they getting that?”

“Businesses...probably governments...it’s not going to be a quick process getting deeper into their organization. Unless I start killing people. It’d get significantly easier with a bit of torture as well, but I am genuinely trying to not cross that line.”

“Never seemed to bother you before.”

“It’s bothered me considerably for a while now, thank you very much, but sometimes the stakes required stepping over that line for a while. Surely you’ve all had situations like that before.”

They all looked at each other sheepishly before Jack spoke again. “Yeah, there have been times we’ve all done things we weren’t proud of, but you...you just never seem to settle back on  _ this _ side of the line.”

“I don’t have enough practice. Maybe someday…hopefully someday.” She ran her hand through her hair uncomfortably. “Have you done anything to make sure they can’t take the gate again?” She looked to Sam who nodded.

“Yeah, we’ve set up jamming devices around the gate so that locator beacons can’t be used.”

“Good. Anyway, back to the issue at hand...did The Trust operatives on that ship have more symbiote poison?”

“Enough to take out at least another half dozen Goa’uld worlds,” Sam said.

“Damn. And that’s not even considering the possibility that they’re captured and the formula discovered.”

“Would the Goa’uld really use it?”

“Against Ba’al? Absolutely. He’s demolishing them out in the galaxy.”

“Thanks to you and your help in obtaining the Kull Warriors…” Jack was never going to let that go.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I know. Hard to feel bad about the other System Lords being destroyed, though.”

“Except now you have Ba’al taking their place,” Daniel tapped his pen on the table in frustration.

“And he has  _ me _ right by his side.”

“Yeah...what are you exactly? His secretary? His--”

Nes cut Jack off before he could go on. “I’m nothing for the moment.”

“For the moment?” Sam raised her eyebrows.

Nes let out a long sigh. “I demanded to be his queen once I was done spying here...which is why it is particularly important to me to remain useful in  _ this _ role.”

Jack cocked his head to the side and leaned back in his chair, accusation with a bit of teasing in his eyes. “You’re certainly appealing to System Lords, Nes…”

Her jaw clenched at Jack’s implication. “Hathor may have touted herself as the goddess of love, but her skills were nothing compared to Sekhmet’s.” She lifted her chin in pride. “And Sekhmet never needed to drug her men.” She let out a deep sigh. “I was just a pawn, though. Something for them to claim, to take from one another.”

She knew her face suddenly looked exhausted. She could feel it, the heaviness in her eyes and muscles with the constant strain of keeping her facade for Ba’al perfect only to come back to Earth and have to impersonate a Trust operative and whatever roles that involved only to come back to the SGC and try to fit in when she clearly didn’t fit in. She suddenly realized she wouldn’t last much longer down this path. She was drowning, struggling for air, but unsure of where to even find it at this point, of which way was up.

What choice did she have, though? With the poison in her system, she had to return to Ba’al, which meant she had to keep going, keep impersonating all the various people she had become.

She let her hand drag down her face and then noted the concern and confusion on the others’ faces. “Jet lag is a bitch going back and forth across the galaxy. I think I’ll just head home.”

Everyone simply nodded and she left with her escorts to head to the surface. Once inside her house, she sank into the couch with a beer and let herself think of Kevin for a few moments. Too many moments. She beamed up to her ship to head somewhere else. That house was full of too many memories she wanted to return to.

She spent the rest of the evening deciding which houses she would keep on instant call with her new ability to flit between them at a moment’s notice. She chose just a handful in varying locations, but knew she’d likely change those out as time went on. For now, though, she’d keep the Colorado Springs house, of course, a penthouse in Seattle, the DC townhouse she’d been using as Regine, a complex in the British Virgin Islands, the estate in Torrelavega, a small castle in western France that had beautiful grounds she enjoyed roaming across on horseback, and another townhouse, this one in London. That gave her the variety she wanted for the moment, but she knew all of those places would still be intensely lonely.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.11 “Gemini”

There had still been no word from the Atlantis expedition, but as the Asgard had gifted the Tau’ri with their beaming technology as well as hyperdrives, they hoped to retrofit the new engines onto the Prometheus and begin the long journey to the Pegasus galaxy to check on their lost colleagues. Nes secretly wished she could accompany them once they set off, but no one would ever let her go, not with her ties to Ba’al and The Trust. Plus, her leash was far too short for a journey of that time and distance.

She’d have to stay behind and wait for news like everyone else. In the meantime, she had an al’kesh to track, but she had yet to be alerted by her own ship to its presence in regular space again. Her impatience was growing with each day and it concerned her that they were traveling such a distance. She was much less likely to catch up to them if they kept this up.

Her days were mostly spent at the SGC right now. They’d allowed her to ditch her guards, but she didn’t have full access to every level on her own. Everyone was very busy, though, and it intensified her loneliness even as she was surrounded by people buzzing about. She finally caught up with Sam one morning and walked with her down to the Gate Room level as she checked on a few things, chatting about the progress of the Prometheus upgrades. Nes kept her hands firmly in her pockets to help everyone relax with her so close to the control room. Daniel came around the corner and directed his attention to Sam after greeting them both.

“ **So, what's the word?** ” he asked as he fell in step with them.

Sam knew exactly what he was referring to. “ **Well, the test flights were successful. The new Asgard hyperdrive is ready to go.** ”

“ **When are they leaving?** ”

“ **They're stocking the ship and picking the crew right now.** ”

Daniel looked to the ceiling and cleared his throat. 

Sam smiled at him. “ **You really want to go, don't you?** ”

“ **It's Atlantis. It's… everything we've been working for for seven and a half years.** ”

“ **I know what you mean.** ” Sam paused as Daniel swiped his access card at the elevator. “ **Unfortunately, I think General O'Neill has other ideas.** ”

“ **Let me guess, he says he needs you here.** ”

“ **His exact words were, ‘Over my dead body.’ But, I was actually talking about the three of us: you, me and Teal'c. He might be persuaded to let one of us go.** ”

He looked Sam over carefully and stepped into the elevator as the doors opened. “ **And you'd be okay if that was me?** ”

“ **Of course, Daniel. You are the expert on the Ancients.** ” Sam smiled at him as he nodded.

“I’m going to grab some lunch, Sam,” Nes said as she moved into the elevator. “I’ll see you later.” She waved briefly as the doors closed.

“ **Unscheduled offworld activation.** ” The voice came over the speakers and alarms began to sound.

“What do you think that’s about?” Nes asked Daniel.

“I don’t know....”

“Do you think you can convince Jack to let you go?”

Daniel shrugged. “I doubt it, but we’ll see.”

“I hope you can. I completely understand wanting to see Atlantis. I’d love to go someday...if it’s really there.”

They got off the elevator and Daniel agreed to accompany her to lunch. Their conversation was stilted until she asked about his most recent translation work. He could talk all day about that stuff and Nes was perfectly content to hear about it for the moment.

She again found Sam in her lab later, gathering up supplies, and was informed that they’d been contacted by a human form Replicator who’d been made in the image of Sam herself.

“That’s gotta be creepy. Why would they do that?”

Sam paused for a moment to look at her. “It was Fifth who made her.”

“The human form replicator who captured you a few months back?”

“Yeah, after I’d lied to him when we initially trapped them in the time dilation field. He...he said he loved me.”

“Oh wow. Well, that’s awkward. So he couldn’t have you and decided to make his own Carter doll?”

Sam groaned. “I’m trying not to think about it too much.” She started packing again. “She says she wants us to kill her. Now obviously that’s something we’ll have to do at some point, but we’re going to see what we can learn from her first, bring her to the Alpha site.”

“Isn’t that pretty risky, Sam? I mean...Replicator…”

“I know, but there’s still so much we don’t know about them. We can’t miss out on this opportunity.”

Nes folded her arms and sighed. “Just be careful. Don’t trust her.”

“I know, Nes.”

“I don’t think you do, Sam. As much as you’ve been trained, as much as you’ve seen out there...you still have an optimism about people that can be dangerous.”

“Like my optimism about you?” Sam looked at her with a smile.

“Honestly? Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I appreciate it, but if I were you…”

“Well, you’re not me.”

“And neither is this Replicator. Remember that.”

“I will, Nes.”

Sam was a bit too flippant for Nes, but she finally settled on giving the colonel a look of skepticism before wishing her luck and leaving.

This was not going to end well. She could already sense that, but fortunately she wasn’t allowed to dwell on her anxiety as she finally received an alert that The Trust’s ship had been detected. Nes rushed to get to the surface and back to her house before beaming herself aboard her tel’tak.

“Fools!” she couldn’t contain her frustration at the ignorance of the Trust operatives as she examined her screens. They’d come out right in the middle of Amaterasu’s remaining territory. The Japanese sun goddess was among the last of the System Lords opposing Ba’al and, rumor had it, she had joined with Lord Yu to make a last stand. She was a wild animal backed into a corner, which meant she was much more willing to take risks. Not a good situation for The Trust to fall into. They had the symbiote poison, but she was unsure if they would use it defensively or try to bargain with it instead. Nes really didn’t think they had the experience to escape their predicament.

Beaming herself back into Athena’s office, again startling her rival, she let herself go on a tirade against the goa’uld’s idiocy.

“Amaterasu will likely capture them. She will have the symbiote poison  _ and _ information about The Trust and Earth!”

Athena sank into her chair in defeat. “And what will you do about it?”

“I will go to Ba’al to warn him and  _ you _ will stay here and report if Jennings or Brooks returns to Earth.” She then gave the pathetic woman a sinister smile. “But know this...you are mine now. I own you. And do not think for a single moment that I will not destroy you. You will do as  _ I _ say now or Ba’al will never let you live.”

Nes debated over waiting until the poison started doing damage, but, as Ba’al would likely be targeted, she worried that she wouldn’t have access to his sarcophagus if she delayed. With no antidote still, she simply couldn’t risk losing her only means of survival. Her dependence on the goa’uld disgusted her, not simply in the logistical difficulties, but with the knowledge of herself and how easily her own motives could be swayed when her life was threatened.

She arrived in her now usual fashion through the gate and made her way to the throne room where Ba’al sat, his ego filling the room. The symbiote poison attacks had halted, his battles with the System Lords were all going well, and he could taste his ultimate victory of ruling the entire galaxy.

Nes took a deep breath and Ba’al noted her tension, dismissing the servants so they could speak in private.

“What have you learned of the attacks?”

“The Trust was behind them.”

“And why did you not STOP them?” Ba’al’s raised both his voice and his body in anger.

“I  _ would _ have, had I been around, but unfortunately I was forced to leave Earth because of  _ your _ poison.” She laced her own words with anger and accusation.

“But you’ve stopped them?”

“I arrived just as SG-1 was stopping them. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to prevent the operatives from escaping with more of the poison.”

“And where are they now?”

“I tracked them to Amaterasu’s territory. I believe they may have been captured.”

Ba’al took the goblet of wine next to him and threw it against the wall.

“My Lord, this will simply be the death throes of the System Lords. They will not be able to overcome your armies.”

His confidence was such that it took very little reassurance from Nes to calm and restore him. They left unspoken the fear that their enemies would learn to manufacture the poison, for there was no need to voice something that they could in no way control.

“I will turn my full attention to Amaterasu’s territory. Eliminate her before she has a chance to strike.”

“A wise plan, my lord.”

In the next few weeks, three more of Ba’al’s planets were hit, though one had been recently abandoned except for a small contingent, so the loss was minimized at least to some degree. To replace the slaughtered forces, production on the Kull Warriors was ramped up, but they seemed...different to Nes. She could feel their hollow eyes beneath their dark helmets observing her, not with the loyalty they should be programmed with, but with a distrust and loathing. She began to worry that Ba’al did not in fact have plans for her to be his queen now, but before she approached her master, she wanted to investigate her suspicions further.

She found a tech in the lab working on several of the newly grown soldiers, but he didn’t offer her the deference she deserved. He seemed to attempt the proper formality, but she could feel his disgust.

“I have noticed some slight behavior changes in the newest Kull Warriors. Show me the current process.”

“My Lord Sekhmet,” he addressed her with distinct condescension, “the process remains the same since Ba’al  _ stole _ the armies from Lord Anubis.”

So...he was loyal to Anubis, and he didn’t seem to care very much about hiding it. That meant  _ he _ was either incredibly stupid, thought  _ she _ was incredibly stupid, or knew that he already had control of enough Kull Warriors. She’d need to hash out which one it was and quickly.

“Well, with the praise I have heard offered up by  _ Lord _ Ba’al on your skills, I would have expected you to improve our rather primitive methods. I’m afraid we did not take the time to make everything as smooth as Anubis’ techniques.”

“I noticed.” Such disgust. “I have brought everything more in line with the  _ original _ techniques.”

He shouldn’t even  _ know _ the original techniques. “How very clever of you.”

“Yes, well, compared to your inferior mind, it is really not so very surprising.”

This was no mere tech, and his expression was familiar within Sekhmet’s memories, but she couldn’t quite place it, even hunting furiously through the libraries she still contained.

He continued to watch her as she started first with the goa’uld she knew had pledged themselves most recently to Anubis, but the majority of those were now dead. Going further back, she found a few possibilities, none of which fit, but a stray memory of Sekhmet’s own conversations with the banished god brought a terrible realization. Her eyes looked over the man in front of her again and she now noted the sores on his hands and neck.

This was Anubis himself.

How he had survived his encounter with the Tau’ri was beyond her, but this was most definitely him and he was already destroying the host body with his supernatural presence. She kept the shock from her face, but her body shifted ever so slightly with the newfound knowledge of its situation.

She needed to warn Ba’al.

“I will leave you to this rather complex work then. Please continue.” She turned to leave, but a rotting hand reached out to grab her arm.

“Tell me, Sekhmet, what do you think Ba’al is willing to sacrifice to save your life?”

“Very little, I expect, but he is so difficult to read sometimes.” She tried to keep her voice light, but her core began to grow warm with both anger and fear.

“Threatening his own life is usually a better tactic, though he does seem to be rather attached to you. It is beyond even me as to why, though.” He turned to the newest warriors and ordered them to accompany them to the throne room.

Ba’al was in his usual place, gloating over yet another victory in a battle against Lord Yu. There was not even a trace of suspicion as they entered and stood before him until he noticed Nes firmly in the grip of the technician.

“What is the meaning of this?”

The tech now stood straighter and stronger and his voice took on a deeper tone that resembled the goa’uld, but had subtle differences. “Ba’al, you will bow before me, your god Anubis.”

Ba’al narrowed his eyes as he took in the man in front of him. “Anubis is dead.”

The man laughed at them. “I cannot be killed, you fool. The Kull Warriors serve me once more, but I will allow you and your queen to live if you pledge your allegiance to me.”

“You wish  _ us _ to serve  _ you _ ?”

“What I wish for is my return to yet remain unknown, so you will maintain this facade that you are still in control. You will be my puppet, Ba’al, a fitting position for you.” He sneered at the goa’uld looking down from his throne.

Ba’al’s jaw tightened at the insult, but he was smart enough to know that he had no choice in the matter. Without the loyalty of the super soldiers, he had no chance of retaking his armies and position of authority. “Your return demonstrates your true power, my Lord Anubis. Sekhmet and I will accept the privilege of expanding your dominion even further.”

He bowed slightly and stepped down from the throne, but Nes noticed how stiffly his body moved as it, too, fought Anubis’ coup. His descent made room for the new ruler to climb the few steps and place himself on the throne.

“I will remain here as my army is restored and the remaining soldiers loyal to you are eliminated. You will stay confined to your quarters for the time being as I determine the best use for your rather limited talents.” He nodded to the Kull Warriors who escorted them each to their respective quarters, Ba’al catching her eye for a moment before they separated and giving her a quick nod.

Nes paced for quite some time, her nervous energy needing a release that the small room would not allow. While Ba’al certainly had value as Anubis hid in the shadows, she was nothing more than a superfluous accessory to his schemes.

She was kept in her room under guard for several weeks, though her servants slipped her intel as they could. They informed her that Ba’al had been tortured more than once and Anubis had brainwashed him using the techniques Ba’al himself had developed and tried on Nes, though enhanced with his own knowledge. It appeared successful, but they all held out hope that he remained himself. Anubis must have been convinced, at the very least, though, as he was sending Ba’al with a portion of the fleet to attack the System Lord’s forces personally.

Nes was next in line for Anubis’ improved techniques and this time, she was no match for the torture. The new memories forced into her mind were just as real as the ones she had lived, just as real as the ones Sekhmet had left with her. Nes couldn’t remain herself, though. Sekhmet’s personality was the only one that could survive within Anubis’ version of reality, and her goa’uld side was now loyal to a new master. Nes was again shoved to the far corner of her mind, observing, but not in control anymore, trapped in a glass prison.

This was far worse than her time as host, she found. At least then, Sekhmet had interacted with her, spoken with her, but this experience was more as the goa’uld usually functioned. Nes was nothing. She was no one. She might as well be an empty shell for all the good her fury and panic did. All she had to be grateful for was that this version of Sekhmet, this echo, still possessed enough intelligence to know what information to withhold from the half-ascended goa’uld who now ruled her. Even in devotion, Sekhmet protected herself and her interests, though it strained the leftover personality whenever she found herself in Anubis’ commanding presence.

Given instructions to carefully watch Ba’al, for Anubis was not nearly as convinced of his loyalty as he was of hers, her weakness as a She’ket apparent, she was sent along on the mission to subdue the System Lords. Outwardly, her mannerisms changed only slightly, so completely was she Sekhmet in deception before the brainwashing, but her keen observations of Ba’al simply changed motivations. She was a spy for a new loyalty. No longer would she share her discoveries with the Tau’ri, but with Anubis, her god, her savior.

Escorted immediately to her new quarters once aboard the ha’tak, Sekhmet was left there for over two days pacing in anger and ever growing suspicions before finally being summoned to Ba’al’s quarters for a meal.

Sekhmet’s wardrobe selection for the evening was a one shoulder white gown with gold leaves covering the top, but the high slit had been the key feature. She entered the room with confidence, her long stride showing off her leg with every other step. Ba’al’s eyes widened for a moment and moved to her legs, but when he looked back up, Nes noted the subtle changes in his face, his eyes colder, ice instead of glass. Nonetheless, he leaned toward her and brushed a kiss against her cheek in greeting.

“It has been several weeks since I last saw you. I hope you were not too bored and lonely during your isolation.” He guided Sekhmet to her chair before taking his own seat opposite her, smiling at her with his mouth only.

She took her place and mirrored his formal tones. “I, of course, always loathe any separation from you, but our Lord Anubis knows what is best.” She held Ba’al’s eyes as she spoke, but there was no reaction to her words.

“Yes, we must trust his superior wisdom.” He motioned to the food and they both ate slowly, observing one another, speaking about innocuous subjects, listening for undertones or overtones or deception of any kind.

As they finished, Ba’al took his wine and had her join him near the window, sitting down on a small sofa positioned to take in the view, though he seemed to only notice the view he was given as she crossed her legs, allowing the fabric to slide off her knee.

Nes felt Sekhmet’s seductive nature begin to stalk its prey and she watched in horror as her hand caressed his cheek, her leg shifted closer to his, and Ba’al’s hand slid up her thigh. All of her efforts to keep him at bay and Sekhmet was going to throw it all away with her first night with him!

Sekhmet was too willing though, too eager, too completely the opposite of what she had been when Nes had been in control, and Ba’al finally seemed to realize that. He pulled back and looked at her with eyes that Nes recognized, but Sekhmet did not. His old scrutiny had returned if only for a moment.

“I thought this was what you wanted.” Sekhmet’s voice was all temptation for Ba’al and Nes silently prayed he would see the change, the danger.

He quickly shifted his eyes back to ice. “It was, my dear, until I was shown the truth about our master Anubis. It is likely he will want you for his queen once he reveals himself to the galaxy in all his glory.”

Nes felt Sekhmet’s desire for power grow, his words manipulating both her native needs and those planted by Anubis. The panic in Nes’ corner subsided, grateful that Ba’al realized that a night with her in her current state would only yield him trouble and death. His patience and self control were more than she had ever expected and she smiled to herself realizing his dramatics about it being too difficult to wait for her were likely almost entirely feigned.

Over the next several weeks, Nes got to see firsthand what an excellent strategist Ba’al was. There was a reason he had been dominating the galaxy as of late, as he seemed to anticipate his enemies’ moves and left them often with no hope beyond complete destruction. She noticed that he kept his distance from her, constantly absorbed in battles and planning, but Sekhmet noticed nothing, only thinking of her reign with Anubis.

Finally Ba’al seemed to tire of walking on eggshells around his personal spy and began making subtle comments wondering about the state of the Tau’ri and The Trust. He even went so far as to suggest that Anubis would certainly praise the one who could capture Earth and its Ancient weapon. That was the right approach and soon the Sekhmet echo was consumed with thoughts of returning to Earth and eventually announced her intention to leave Ba’al’s side in order to pursue more power for their god.

He played his part perfectly and soon Nes found herself in Earth’s orbit aboard her tel’tak. Never before had the view of her home planet made her quite so sad.

She had no way to stop her body’s efforts to destroy or enslave them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.14 “Full Alert”

Sekhmet ventured to Cheyenne Mountain right away and no amount of resistance from Nes could prevent her. The goa’uld remnant momentarily thought about just beaming straight into the base so she wouldn’t lose so much time in the somewhat unnecessary procedures Nes had established over the past few years, but she didn’t think they would welcome her surprise appearances and may even grow suspicious. Plus, it looked like they had expanded the jamming frequency to encompass the entire base instead of just the gate room.

“You guys seem tense. What’s going on, Sam?” Sekhmet mimicked Nes’ voice and mannerisms as she walked down the hall with the colonel and Nes hated the return to the deceptions of her days with Sean.

“Kinsey is here.”

“Vice President Kinsey?” Sekhmet’s prowl made an appearance and Nes noticed her body’s subtle changes into The Butcher.

“Not anymore. The president forced him to resign during Anubis’ attack.”

“I must have missed that.” Sekhmet’s voice had slowed, the lion in the grass, but Sam didn’t notice.

“He had ties to The Trust and the president wasn’t too happy about it.”

“Ah, and I didn’t join their ranks until after that. So what’s he doing here now?”

“The Trust has contacted him, wants him to arrange a meeting with the Russian defense minister.”

“And what would they want with him?” Nes felt their shared suspicion start to grow.

“I was hoping you might know.”

“No, I’m afraid that being offworld for so long seems to have severed many of my connections.” Likely the truth. She’d need to touch base with Athena at some point.

They arrived at the briefing room and she was welcomed by Jack, Daniel, and Teal’c, offering nothing but her own greetings in return.

“We’re thinking of having Kinsey arrange the meeting and wear a wire so we can hear the conversations, find out what’s going on,” Sam said as they sat.

“Will he do it?” Sekhmet asked and they all looked skeptically at one another until Jack finally stood in frustration.

“Let’s go find out. Nes, would you like to accompany me? I’ve heard you can be quite persuasive.”

She gave him a broad smile with a hint of sinister glee. “Why yes, that does seem to be one of my talents.”

They entered Kinsey’s quarters where his eyebrows raised as he saw Sekhmet, seeing Tessa James, seeing The Butcher, seeing a former host, and though Nes was sure he knew of her past and presence at the SGC, laying his own eyes on her was quite its own experience.

Jack explained their plan and Kinsey looked at him with disgust.

“ **Y** **ou want** **_me_ ** **to wear a wire!** ”

“ **That's the deal,** ” Jack said casually.

“ **I am not a spy!** ”

“ **Think of it this way. If you don't do what they want...they'll kill you. If you don't do what** **_we_ ** **want...we'll let 'em.** ” Jack ended with a smile and Nes let her small corner fill with respect for him.

“ **Why, that's as good as pulling the trigger yourself! I thought Stargate Command didn't do that sort of thing.** ” Kinsey was beginning to panic, not seeing how it fed Sekhmet.

“ **Well...we're under new management.** ”

Sekhmet stepped forward with a smirk. “And if that’s not enough motivation for you, I believe I’m still in possession of some photographs your wife may not enjoy very much.”

Kinsey’s face drained of color and Jack looked at her with surprise.

“I have quite a collection of the denizens of The Hill,” she continued, “and it wasn’t too difficult for Sekhmet to discover your...interests beyond your wife’s arms.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I absolutely would. Your political career is certainly over. Surely you don’t want your marriage to end as well.” She cocked her head to the side with a stern look.

“Fine, but after this...I want those pictures. And the negatives.”

“Of course,  _ Bob _ . I highly doubt I’ll need any of them after this anyway.” She breathed in his fear and she and Jack left in triumph.

As they moved down the hall, Jack turned to smile at her. “Well played, Nes. Do you really have anything incriminating?”

He thought Sekhmet had been bluffing. How quaint. “Yes. I could own the majority of DC if I wanted, Jack. You’re all just fortunate that Sekhmet had smaller aspirations than a typical goa’uld.” She winked. “Still, it is a nice little source of income.”

“Nes!”

“What?” Sekhmet couldn’t even feign the conscience expected of her as Nes.

Jack lowered his voice. “You can’t blackmail people, Nes. It’s wrong.”

“You didn’t seem to have an issue with it a few moments ago.”

Jack chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“Mmhmm. I look forward to it,” she commented dryly as they resumed their pace down the corridor.

Sekhmet convinced them to allow her to join them in the surveillance van, her knowledge of The Trust potentially being helpful as they observed Kinsey’s meeting. Her presence, unsurprisingly, set the politician on edge and he was short with everyone as they tried to prepare him with cameras and trackers. Of course, from what she knew about him, that might simply be his usual charming self. Either way, she sat off in the corner with a smirk and let a knife appear in her hand whenever he looked at her, the others too busy to notice her toying with him.

Sekhmet wanted to prepare the former vice president in her  _ own _ way, as well, and before he climbed out of the van, she handed him his suit jacket, a tracking beacon in the pocket. She wanted to personally keep an eye on him.

“Such a lovely man,” Sekhmet commented as he left. Sam and Daniel both sighed in annoyance.

At the original meet spot on a back road, Kinsey was met by Jennings and another Trust operative. So they were back. Interesting. But were they the same? Had they  _ escaped  _ Amaterasu or  _ been sent _ by her?

Jennings  _ seemed _ mostly the same, but that was hardly proof of anything. Nes seemed mostly the same as well.

Kinsey was blindfolded and driven to an estate in the country, a tudor mansion at the end of the long drive. Sekhmet leaned close to the screens, looking over the faces of the men that were in the foyer, hunting for familiarity, but also something else, something in their movements and mannerisms that might confirm her suspicions.

Sekhmet recognized one of the men who had called himself Mr. Parker during Nes’ time with The Trust and after greetings and offering Kinsey a drink, they got right down to business as another man came down the stairs.

“ **We're glad you finally agreed to a private meeting. We were afraid you might be holding a grudge against us.** ” Sekhmet found his name as Mr. Kent.

“ **You mean because you abandoned me at the moment I needed you the most?** ”

“ **You were a liability, Bob. An embarrassment.** ” Parker was leaning over a chair as he spoke and Jennings brought Kinsey his drink. Sekhmet just caught a smirk from Jennings that she added to the pile of evidence.

“ **I think you've got that backwards. I was only forced to resign as Vice President because they found out about my relationship with you.** ”

“ **Either way, you were no longer useful to us. You would've done the same.** ”

Kinsey snorted in derision. “ **Maybe. But when I cut someone loose, I don't go back to them, groveling for favors.** ”

“ **You say what's on your mind, I'll give you that.** ” Nes didn’t recognize the man sitting by the fireplace smoking a cigar.

“ **Under other circumstances, I might be worried about winding up like one of your trophies on the wall, but you've already made it clear that you need me, so I don't have anything to worry about, do I?** ” Kinsey took a drink in confidence and they watched as the various Trust members looked to each other, but then the video started to get fuzzy. They were being jammed. Sam tried to fix it, but Sekhmet leaned all the closer to listen.

“ **It's true we do need you, but not for what you think.** ”

“ **What are you talking about?** ” Kinsey asked suspiciously.

“ **Show him,** ” the voice of the other man said.

“ **This is why we need you.** ”

Kinsey’s breathing sped up as he looked at whatever it was they were showing him. “ **What the hell is going on here?** ”

His horrified voice was the last thing they heard before the signal screeched out and ended. The vehicles took off down the road toward the house, intent on trying to save Kinsey from whatever The Trust was going to do to him, but by the time they arrived, the house was empty, everyone having beamed away before their entrance.

They suspected the return of Osiris’ al’kesh with Jennings present. Sekhmet agreed with their conclusion, though she noted inwardly that her own sensors hadn’t picked up the locator beacon Nes had placed aboard the ship. It’d likely been removed if they had been in Amaterasu’s hands.

Once back in the SGC, Carter worked up a scheme, as she usually did, to increase their chances of finding the cloaked ship, Daniel was sent off to Russia to try and get a handle on what The Trust was trying to do with this General Kiselev that Kinsey knew, and Teal’c was ordered to the Prometheus as it got itself into orbit.

As Jack turned to Sekhmet, she cut him off. “I’ve got a few suspicions I’d like to follow up on, if that’s okay, Jack.”

“Anything you’d like to share with the rest of us?” He raised his eyebrows and sighed, knowing she likely wouldn’t tell them a damn thing.

“I will once I know more. Right now, it’s pure conjecture.” She looked around. “Mind if I beam out from here? Saves time.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to with the jamming we’re doing now.”

“Any chance you’ll give me that frequency?”

“No.”

“You’re going to make me figure it out on my own?”

“Go for it, Nes.”

She finally just shrugged. “Fine. I’ll go all the way up to the surface and waste everyone's time.”

“You do that.”

Sekhmet left in a huff, cursing Jack and his suspicion, no matter how justified it was, and beamed up to her tel’tak from her house again.

Once on board, she checked her sensors for the beacon she’d put on Kinsey and found it in a slightly different orbit from her own ship. She needed to make contact with them. She would not have their recklessness destroy her attempts to gain control of the Ancient weapon.

She decloaked, but only for a few minutes, just long enough to make her presence known and receive a hail. Once her cloak was back up, she moved her ship before answering the call and found herself looking up at Jennings on her screen.

“Well now, Nesert, how lovely to see you again.” He smirked at her and both Sekhmet and Nes knew they were right about him and the others.

She shifted into her goa’uld voice before addressing him. “Let’s drop the act, shall we? You know what I am. I know what you are.”

Jennings’ smirk shifted to a sinister smile and his own voice deepened. “Your reputation out in the galaxy precedes you, Sekhmet. You’ve left Ba’al’s side to return to Earth, though. Why?”

“I tracked your ship to Amaterasu’s territory and suspected she might use these tactics. I returned to confirm those suspicions.”

“And what now?”

“It is quite apparent that your goddess will not stand against Ba’al for much longer. She may well already be defeated.”

“And?” Jennings was trying to appear unconcerned, but the deception was lacking.

“And I am sure that Lord Ba’al would gladly accept your allegiance. Your infiltration of The Trust and likely several Tau’ri governments has been executed brilliantly. We would welcome such ingenuity in our rule of the galaxy.”

Jennings stared at her, taking several deep breaths. “I will need to discuss with the others.”

“Of course. What is your plan for Kinsey, though?”

He gave her another smirk. “I will contact you in four hours.”

“Three. I do not have all day to wait around for you to decide whose side you wish to be on. And do remember, the System Lords can offer you no protection here.”

Sekhmet ended the transmission and again moved her ship to a different orbit. She’d have to eliminate them. It was clear this group wanted only to create chaos and destruction. Why else would they go after a Russian general who controlled his country’s nuclear arsenal? And Sekhmet knew Anubis would be exceedingly displeased if Earth were destroyed rather than ruled. With similar short term goals, though, she should be able to use the Tau’ri to assist her efforts.

Not long after their conversation, she noticed the beacon move from the ship down to the surface again. Russia. Outside of Moscow. Sekhmet moved the ship over the area and beamed herself down as well, making sure she was far enough away from any other life signs to stay hidden.

She found herself in tall grass and headed towards the beacon, grateful Kinsey had yet to discover it. She kept back a ways, not wanting to disrupt the man’s plans just yet, but soon encountered a fence that surrounded a country estate. It was quite lovely and Sekhmet made quick mental comparisons to homes she owned.

This must be General Kiselev’s home. Why else would Kinsey come here? The beacon moved into the main house, but soon after, the signal disappeared. Either Kinsey or someone else had discovered the tracker and destroyed it. Damn. She could sneak in, but at this point, she wanted to hear if the SGC had any further information.

She again went through the dance of going back to Cheyenne Mountain, though this time they were quick to escort her to the operations room where Jack and Sam were monitoring the situation. A Russian colonel was also with them and Jack awkwardly introduced her.

“Nes, this is Colonel Chekov of the Russian Air Force. Colonel, this is...complicated.”

Jack shrugged and looked to Sam for help, but Sekhmet extended her hand and took over, explaining briefly in Russian that she had been a former host and now assisted the Stargate program in their war against the Goa’uld.

“Didn’t know you spoke Russian, Nes,” Jack commented in surprise.

“There’s very few languages I don’t speak, though Russian has long been a personal favorite.” Sekhmet winked at Jack. “Makes me feel like a spy.” He had no way of knowing that Sekhmet had been just that, more than once, and certainly not just for Russia.

Jack just shook his head. “Learn anything new?”

“Confirmed a hunch, yes. The Trust has been infiltrated by the Goa’uld.”

“We know.” Jack folded his arms and shrugged.

“How?” Sekhmet hated being behind.

“Daniel called. The Russians apprehended Kinsey in an assassination plot against General Kiselev. Kinsey’s a goa’uld now.”

Well, that explained that.

“I just spoke with Jennings. He’s also been taken as a host. I’m guessing he and Brooks were taken as hosts when they wandered into Amaterasu’s territory.”

“Why didn’t you inform us of that earlier?”

“Because I wasn’t sure.”

“Still, you could have offered that theory up in discussions. Especially before we sent Kinsey off to them.” Jack’s voice grew louder in anger.

“There’s so many different facets of The Trust at this point...I had no idea who was contacting dear old Bob to meet. Besides...are we really that concerned about him? You were willing to let The Trust kill him…”

“That’s not the point! Kinsey was Vice President! He has vital information to the security of our country.”

Sekhmet crossed her arms trying to hold in her indignation at his reprimands. “No offense, Jack, but The Trust  _ already _ has operatives in the highest levels of most of the world’s governments. Kinsey’s information is already outdated and unneeded.”

Jack rubbed his face with his hands. “What did you discuss with them?”

Her hands moved to her hips, establishing her authority. “I encouraged them to pledge their allegiance to Ba’al. The System Lords will be defeated soon and then they will be without protection when we turn our attention back to Earth.”

“We?” Colonel Chekov’s eyes narrowed at her.

Sam jumped in. “Nes has been working undercover with the goa’uld Ba’al for some time.”

“Why was my government not informed?”

Jack sighed. “Because there was no need. She’s more of a...consultant.”

“That’s code for ‘not one to follow the rules,’ Colonel.” Sekhmet smiled Nes’ smile and bowed her head gently. “They’re discussing my offer and should be getting back to me soon.”

“Do you think they’ll accept it?” Sam asked.

“They really don’t have a choice. Amaterasu and Yu are failing and Ba’al’s a keen strategist. And, now that they have knowledge from the System Lords, my presence within The Trust obviously indicates to them that Ba’al has already established connections here on Earth. It’s a precarious position for them to be in.”

“And once they change their allegiances?”

“I’ll be able to find out exactly what they’re up to. Or kill them. Likely both.”

“Well, try to hurry things along,” Jack said. “The Russian government now suspects  _ our _ government has been compromised because of Kinsey. We could be looking at some very serious altercations if we don’t get this sorted out.”

Sekhmet took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ll do what I can.” She returned to her ship to wait for Jennings to contact her, but she needn’t have bothered. The Prometheus was scanning for the ship with Carter’s adjustment to their sensors, when the al’kesh appeared in front of them and swept past the Tau’ri vessel, bombing as it went. The Prometheus got its shields up quickly, but Sekhmet soon saw a transport ring beam move from the larger ship to the al’kesh.

She hailed the goa’uld ship immediately, but they did not respond before the Prometheus opened fire. Sekhmet’s sensors picked up a burst of energy that aligned with someone beaming down the surface and she knew that the al’kesh wouldn’t last much longer, especially as it was no longer even making an attempt at evasive actions. As she maneuvered her tel’tak closer to Earth, the al’kesh again powered its weapons and moved toward the Prometheus, forcing the Tau’ri to destroy the goa’uld ship in a rather large explosion.

At least some of the former Trust members must have been killed, but that left whoever had beamed down to the surface. That goa’uld could be anywhere.

Sekhmet returned to the SGC as things calmed down, wanting further details on the events that had transpired. Jack explained rather reluctantly that General Kiselev had already been taken as a host before this latest drama, as well as several other key figures within Russia, with Kinsey’s role having been simply to stir up distrust.

The politician and the goa’uld within him had been taken prisoner aboard the Prometheus, but when the al’kesh had attacked, he’d managed to escape. That explained the ring transport beam she’d noted, but no one mentioned anyone beaming back down to Earth. Sekhmet decided to keep that information to herself. She would investigate that goa’uld personally, as well as any other Trust operatives taken as hosts.

With the deceptions of The Trust and the goa’uld, Russia and the United States were on the brink of nuclear war, but Jack fortunately had been able to convince the Russian president of the true situation, enabling him to reclaim control from the goa’uld operatives. It would likely take the two countries quite some time to sort out the mess The Trust had caused, but hopefully without the leaders that had been on the al’kesh, any remaining symbiotes would scatter and disappear.

Sekhmet went back to her house in Colorado Springs and waited. If he were smart, the goa’uld that had escaped the al’kesh would seek her out and take her up on her deal to pledge his allegiance to Ba’al. Sure enough, a few hours later, there was a knock on her door and Kinsey was on her stoop looking significantly less defiant than the true former vice president had in her presence earlier.

“Why,  _ Bob _ , how lovely to see you,” she said with a smirk of power. “You had no trouble locating me, it seems. Do come in.”

He bowed his head in respect and passed through the doorway, but spoke with his distorted tone. “The others told me of your offer, Lord Sekhmet. I have come to offer myself and my knowledge.”

She switched to her own goa’uld voice as well. “And what knowledge could you possibly have that I would want?”

He looked up with fear. “I assure you, my queen, I can offer you all that I know from Amaterasu, The Trust, and this host.”

“Ah yes. How upset is dear old  _ Bob _ at being taken by you?” Sekhmet wished she could hear the screams hidden behind the symbiote’s control.

Kinsey’s face smirked with pleasure. “Quite angry.”

She couldn’t resist. “May I hear?”

The goa’uld was clearly surprised by her request, but he wanted to please his new master, and so bowed his head just as the Tok’ra did as they switched control.

A loud yell came out of his mouth before Kinsey’s arrogant mannerisms took control. “You will release me this instant! How dare you take me as host!”

Sekhmet chuckled. “You know,  _ Bob _ , you almost sound like a goa’uld with that attitude. Do not worry, though. You will soon be free.”

His eyes widened in surprise and Nes was unsure which mind had controlled the response.

“Your face is far too well known and now, far too useless.” Sekhmet had no need of a goa’uld slave with questionable loyalty. She quickly drew a knife and plunged it into his heart. From her own prison, Nes knew she should feel some sympathy for Kinsey, but she couldn’t seem to find any and did not even attempt to resist her body’s actions.

The goa’uld resumed control. “My queen!”

“I’m afraid I do not appreciate your interference in my efforts on this planet and I have no forgiveness to spare.”

His eyes flashed as his body went limp and Sekhmet pulled the knife out, groaning in annoyance.

“What a mess. I should have killed him somewhere else.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.16 “Reckoning Part 1”

Sekhmet debated on what to do with Kinsey’s body, but in the end she disposed of it so it wouldn’t be found. She had no desire to spend time dealing with the aftermath. Everyone would simply assume he’d been killed in the al’kesh along with the other Trust operatives.

To maintain Nes’ connections, Sekhmet offered the Stargate program worthless information about Ba’al and his movements throughout the galaxy. She shared nothing of Anubis or her reasons for returning to Earth, of course, and then escaped their watchful eyes as quickly as she dared, returning to Athena to inform her of the messy resolution with The Trust. Athena would dutifully do as she was told, her fear of Sekhmet’s threats to tell Ba’al about her failures within the Trust keeping her subservient.

And now was the time to act, the pair quickly snatching up the floundering operations left behind and focusing their efforts on the United States and the other countries that had teams at the Antarctica base. Sekhmet never said, but Athena must have realized, that the plan was to acquire the Ancient weapon in some way. Or at least get eyes on it and the Tau’ri research. It was all that held Anubis back from another attack, though Sekhmet preferred a more subversive strategy in gaining control of the planet. 

She then received a communication from Ba’al that worried her. He had sent his representative Selkhet (the scorpion goddess who Sekhmet had always hated for daring to have a name so similar to her own) to offer the System Lords their lives if they pledged allegiance to him as the Supreme Commander of the Goa’uld. He would even allow them to keep their armies and administer over their territories, though under Ba’al’s authority. He never heard back from Selkhet and when he sent a ship, not even the space station where the meeting had been held could be found. He was curious if the Tau’ri had any more information, but Sekhmet’s monitoring had not revealed any knowledge of what had happened.

Still, it concerned her enough to make her way quickly back to Anubis’ side. If an unknown enemy was indeed attacking their forces, she wanted to be near the one she expected to triumph. Anubis welcomed her with hostility, annoyed that she had left her duties in watching his underlord, but as she also came bearing news of her progress in obtaining the Ancient weapon on Earth, she was forgiven. His host’s body had grown more grotesque in her time away, the sores and lesions spreading across his face, making it difficult for Sekhmet to not shirk away in disgust. The goa’uld preferred beauty and youth in their forms, but Anubis seemed unconcerned as long as the body functioned.

She learned quickly that the new threat was not simply another goa’uld, but the Replicators finally turning their attention to this galaxy. Carter had shared that her Replicator look-alike had tricked them and escaped and even Nes felt entitled to the “told ya so” Sekhmet mumbled under her breath. The human form Replicator then took over the entire Replicator swarm, using the information she’d gathered from the Tau’ri to make themselves immune to the weapons once able to defeat them.

And now they were ready to conquer a new galaxy.

They’d begun attacking goa’uld territories all over and were winning. Easily. At this rate, they would overrun any opposition in a matter of weeks, but Anubis seemed completely unconcerned, his plans beyond any of the worries of mere mortals. Sekhmet felt her own survival threatened, but it was still not enough to overcome the brainwashing that had occurred.

The only good thing to come of this, though it would be worthless and short lived, was the sheer numbers of jaffa re-pledging themselves to the service of the Goa’uld, seeing the Replicators as a plague of punishment for their disloyalty. Little good it would do them in the war, but their subservience still pleased Sekhmet. Should they find some way to defeat the scourge, they would be established firmly as gods again for generations to come.

Sekhmet made sure to keep herself close at hand, despite her aversion to Anubis’ physical appearance and his love for a dramatic setting, the heat and low light of the burning torches in his throne room grating on her nerves. A timid servant brought word that Ba’al had come personally to speak to his lord and Nes was hopeful from her small corner that he would bring good news. Ba’al entered, his strong body a stark contrast that even a brainwashed Sekhmet could not ignore, her eyes finding respite looking upon his face. He spared her a glance of mild surprise, but quickly returned his attention to Anubis, head bowed and a hood covering his grotesque appearance.

“ **I've received word from the battle. The bulk of the fleet continues to engage the Replicators, as you have ordered. However…** ” Even Ba’al could not look at his lord’s decomposing hands for too long and looked away with a deep breath. “ **I believe it would be wise to pull our forces back. If we stop confronting the enemy on so wide a front, it may slow their advance, and allow us a chance to mount a proper defense.** ”

“ **You doubt my power?** ”

“ **Of course not. But your fleet is falling into their hands rapidly. Not even the Kull Warriors--** ”

Anubis cut off Ba’al’s objections. “ **Do not concern yourself.** ” He raised his head revealing almost completely red eyes and sores covering the majority of his face. “ **When the time is right, I promise you, this nuisance will be dealt with. Trust in me.** ”

Ba’al had to fight off a smirk of annoyance and lock his jaw before responding. “ **As always.** ”

He left to resume his management of their forces and Sekhmet excused herself shortly after his departure, casually making her way to Ba’al’s temporary quarters while on Tartarus. She could hear several objects colliding with the walls, but the knock of his guard silenced the fury within and Sekhmet was granted entrance.

Ba’al was attempting to control his frustration, but even Sekhmet in her deluded state could see he was not happy with Anubis’ handling of the situation. She came close to him with comfort, not offering words, but her lips and arms and Ba’al channeled his anger into his attentions to the one he once thought he’d have at his side as he ruled the galaxy. Now he watched all of it slip through his fingers, Anubis hurrying along its demise, and he grasped at anything he could yet claim, including Sekhmet’s temporary affections.

“I thought you were devoted to Anubis,” he mumbled into her hair and Nes knew he would offer no resistance to Sekhmet’s seduction this time.

“I am, but that does not mean we cannot enjoy one another’s company.”

He put his mouth near her ear. “You find his host repulsive.”

“Are you so very concerned about the reasons for my presence here with you?” Sekhmet pulled back. “Because, by all means, we can sit and discuss--”

Ba’al quickly cut her off with another kiss before leaning down to pick her up, carrying her towards his bed, but even Sekhmet wouldn’t be his today - a loud knock echoed through the room. Ba’al paused and closed his eyes in aggravation. Nes knew he was simply hoping the interruption would go away, but even gods did not have the luxury of controlling their own time when a war was being fought. The knocking resumed, this time more insistent, and Ba’al gently set Sekhmet down and called for the petitioner to enter. For the sake of whoever was at the door, Nes hoped that it really was urgent or she doubted their life would be spared for the intrusion.

“My Lord Ba’al, the rebel Jaffa have taken Dakara.” The young man’s face filled with fear as he noted Sekhmet leaning casually against one of the bedposts.

Ba’al’s jaw tightened even further and twitched as he spoke. “They mean to undermine our power by taking a site so sacred. Gather as much intel as you can. I will speak with Lord Anubis on the matter.”

The jaffa left and Ba’al turned towards Sekhmet, drinking her in with defeat in his eyes. “Would you like to accompany me to inform our  _ master _ ?”

Nes heard the disdain, but Sekhmet ignored it. “Of course, my lord. Though perhaps we should not enter  _ together _ .”

Ba’al nodded and then motioned to the door, Sekhmet heading back to the throne room first, trying to calm her own annoyance with a brisk step. She bowed low to Anubis as she entered, but she was mostly ignored as two Kull Warriors came in immediately behind her, a man held between them, terror radiating off of him. She stood to the side, curious what crime the man had committed to be dealt with personally by Anubis. Her master even came down from his throne to stand before his prisoner and Sekhmet looked up as Ba’al entered.

“ **Excuse the intrusion. I will return,** ” he said when he saw Anubis was busy.

He turned to leave, but Anubis commanded him to stay and Ba’al risked a quick look of questioning at Sekhmet, whose face also bore confusion.

They watched as the black essence of Anubis left his host and entered the man given a slow death sentence as the new vessel to hold his god. The old, destroyed body collapsed without Anubis to support it and their overlord in his new and healthy form shook off the restrictive grips of the super soldiers. The black armored figures then grabbed the cloak and flesh left behind on the floor, dragging it from the room. Walking near a polished wall to gaze at his new reflection, Anubis touched his face as he inspected all its angles. Finally he spared some of his attention for Ba’al.

“ **Speak.** ”

Ba’al came forward to address the new Anubis. “ **A force of rebel Jaffa have managed to take control of the temple at Dakara.** ”

“ **As I hoped. They have no doubt gathered their full force and presented us with the perfect opportunity to annihilate them, once and for all. Have the fleet disengage their battle with the Replicators and move on Dakara. Take it back at all cost. Leave no survivors.** ”

“ **As you wish.** ” Ba’al’s voice agreed, but his body revealed to Nes’ trained eye that he was less than enthusiastic with his given orders as he left.

With her master no longer in a crumbling body, Sekhmet’s attentions were more easily given and, while Anubis previously had seemed to have little interest in her as a lover, he did enjoy being admired, still a goa’uld in that way. From her vantage point, Nes only hoped that Anubis would  _ remain _ uninterested. Ba’al was one thing, but Anubis...if she could shudder, she would. The thought of being in his arms made her wish for death instead. The Sekhmet that was controlling her body had no such reservations, though, and Nes could only wait from her small place, wondering what new horrors she’d be witness to in service of Anubis.

“Once Ba’al regains Dakara, I will travel there.” He puffed his chest as he looked at her. “You will join me so you may witness my power. At least for a moment”

Sekhmet’s eyebrows raised in confusion. “My lord?”

“The Ancients left a weapon on Dakara capable of destroying the Replicators, my dear.” He spoke to her like a child and it aggravated Sekhmet when compared to her interactions with Ba’al.

“That is wonderful news, Lord Anubis. You will be praised by all in the galaxy.”

“Yes, I will, but not by those who inhabit it now.” Anubis smirked at her and stepped down from the throne, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek gently. “I will destroy all life in this galaxy. I will remake new worlds in my own image, to serve me.”

He kissed her gently, though Sekhmet, to her credit, did not respond, so consumed with shock that the room seemed to go cold. “And will I be allowed to remain by your side?”

“Why would I want  _ you _ ?” He stepped back to allow his eyes to look her over. “A She’ket? So easily brainwashed, so pitiful a creature.” He came closer again and whispered in her ear. “And so eager to be in another’s bed. Did you think I would not know that the two of you were conspiring against me?”

“My lord, I assure you, I--”

“Stop! You will have the honor of being the first to die, my dear, and then--” he brought a hand to her throat “--I will think of you and your death often...and with  _ such pleasure _ .”

The surety of her approaching destruction finally put a few cracks in the glass that barricaded Nes in her corner and she struggled to make Sekhmet overcome the brainwashing. With every footfall towards her quarters, Nes screamed and tried to shove ideas through to the one in control. Sekhmet’s feet paused in front of Ba’al’s door, fighting her fear of and devotion to Anubis. The guard did not see the struggle, though, and knocked on his lord’s door. Ba’al granted entrance to one who was unsure she wanted it. It was enough, though, and Nes prodded Sekhmet to go through the doorway, at least. Hopefully, Ba’al would be able to prompt further betrayal.

He came close to kiss her, but noted her lack of response. “I must leave immediately or I would resume our previous...conversation, my dear.”

Nes pounded on the glass, trying everything to crack Anubis’ brainwashing even further, and the Sekhmet side of her began to crumble under her dissident loyalties. Her own survival instincts added to her unfaithfulness and finally her voice joined in the mutiny.

“Dakara is a weapon.”

Ba’al looked at her in surprise. “What kind of a weapon?”

Sekhmet took in a deep breath to continue her fight. “An Ancient weapon capable of destroying the Replicators--” Ba’al began to interrupt in relief “-- _ but _ also capable of destroying  _ all life in the galaxy. _ ”

Ba’al froze. “And Anubis plans to use it.”

“Yes. He wishes to remake the galaxy, to fill it with only those who would serve him.”

He turned towards the window in thought. “If the Tau’ri learn of this weapon, no doubt they will seek to destroy it.”

“And will you stop them or aid them in that task?”

Ba’al turned to her with a smirk and shrugged, but then grew serious as he approached her again. “As much as it disgusts me to suggest this...it would be helpful if Anubis were...distracted...during my absence.”

Nes pulled back into her corner in horror, but knew he was right. Anubis seemed to know their every move and if the weapon was going to be destroyed, his attention must be elsewhere. Sekhmet gave Ba’al a quick nod and turned to leave.

“I will see you when I return,” he said.

She nodded again and exited the room, making her way to her own quarters and ignoring the sound of a few more objects hitting the walls in Ba’al’s room. Anubis would never be deceived by Sekhmet’s tactics. He would assume she was merely trying to convince him to spare her life, but she was unsure if he would allow her to proceed in her deceptions even knowing her underlying motivations. Nes, from her corner, knew the sacrifice would be worth it if it saved the galaxy, but she still struggled with offering encouragement towards these actions.

With Ba’al’s departure, Nes began to find more and more cracks in her prison walls, the brainwashing no longer binding Sekhmet to Anubis, and it made her bolder as Nes began to exert some influence again.

Anubis spent most of his time in his throne room alone and Nes suspected he could not focus on both planes of existence that he inhabited. He may be able to keep them under observation together, but interacting and searching for information likely required more isolated concentration. When she was permitted entrance to his presence, Sekhmet was cautious charm, attempting to gain closeness without the suspicion likely to accompany it, but Anubis did not seem to even notice her efforts, hardly responding to what other men would find irresistible.

In frustration, Sekhmet did away with the caution and tried to seduce him outright, but Anubis only responded with scorn.

“Pathetic. Did you think your tactics would make you more appealing?” He grabbed her jaw roughly. “Or are you hoping I won’t notice Ba’al’s betrayal?”

Sekhmet’s eyes went wide at his knowledge and then fear filled her chest. “My lord, please. I--”

Anubis tightened his grip and summoned two of his Kull Warriors. “I believe you need your loyalties...adjusted...again, my dear.” He looked up to his soldiers. “Take her to the programming room.”

“No! My lord! I am devoted only to you!” Sekhmet screamed as she was dragged from the room, but it was pointless. Anubis knew she would not serve him unconditionally anymore.

This time, the torture and brainwashing didn’t lock Nes behind a glass wall, but a steel prison with only a tiny hazy window that made it difficult to even observe anymore. Her body was not controlled by an echo of Sekhmet any longer, but by a hollow slave with no will of her own. When Anubis was not directly guiding her actions, she was without purpose, without thought, simply stagnant and awaiting instructions, going through only the essentials of her former life.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 8.17 “Reckoning Part 2” and Episode 8.18 “Threads”

When word was brought to Sekhmet of Ba’al’s return, she headed straight to the throne room, eager to see her lord and master deal with his underlord, the only allowed emotions those that celebrated Anubis’ triumphs. As she entered, Nes, even through the haze, noticed the sores beginning to form around the host’s mouth, but Sekhmet only saw his power and glory, so consumed with the images thrust into her mind.

Ba’al entered slowly, hands clasped behind his back, Anubis sitting on his throne with his rage only barely contained.

“ **You have failed me.** ”

Ba’al took a deep breath. “ **We've known for some time that the Jaffa cannot be trusted anymore. The remaining army of Kull Warriors still stand an excellent chance of retaking Dakara, but--** ”

Anubis raised a hand to silence him “ **Worse than failure. Worse than cowardice.** ” He stood and looked down at Ba’al. “ **You have betrayed me. Did you not think I would know what you have done? How can you still underestimate my powers?** ”

Ba’al spared the tiniest dart of his eyes towards Sekhmet in accusation before responding to Anubis. “ **Your methods were ultimately unnecessary. Not when there was another way of defeating the Replicators.** ”

“ **I will spare your life for the moment, only so that you may witness the fruits of your labors. First, I will retake Dakara, then, thanks to the modifications** **_you've_ ** **made to the Stargate, I will destroy every living thing in this galaxy, including you, all at once.** ”

“ **I do not understand. You could have modified the Stargate yourself.** ”

“ **You have no way of knowing what is necessary and what is not, in the grand design.** ”

Ba’al shook his head slightly in confusion. “ **Whose grand design?** ”

Anubis raised his chin in pride. “ **Mine!** ”

Ba’al’s eyes trailed after Anubis as he left before snapping back to Sekhmet who smirked at him, enjoying his defeat.

“We have to stop him,” he said through gritted teeth as he approached her.

“You should know by now that he is unstoppable. He is almighty. No one can challenge him and succeed.” Nes could see Ba’al examining her. He likely saw the same dead eyes that she could see in the mirror every day now. “And I would never betray him.”

“What has he done to you?”

“He has shown me truth and life.”

“He has brainwashed you again.”

“My Lord Anubis warned me that you would attempt to make me unfaithful again.” Sekhmet lifted her chin and smiled. “He told me to tell you that everything you ever thought was yours now belongs to him.” She leaned forward. “ Entirely and completely and unreservedly and utterly.”

Ba’al’s face shifted to fury as the back of his hand connected with her face.

“Would you truly hurt  _ me _ simply because the real source of your anger is beyond your pitiful reach?” she sneered at him.

Ba’al’s face went hard, but he finally spun on his heel and stormed out. Nes knew she shouldn’t have any pity for one whose anger was only because it was not  _ him _ controlling the galaxy, but she did all the same, their mutual enslavement adding to her sympathy.

Anubis ordered Sekhmet to accompany him on the way to Dakara after he had spread false intel that he was gathering up his remaining forces there on Tartarus. The rebel Jaffa would surely seek to attack when they thought he was weak, hopefully leaving Dakara with minimal defenses.

Ba’al was also commanded to join them and he begrudgingly boarded their ship, no longer even feigning allegiance to Anubis. Nes knew he was coming along only to see if he could stop the maniac from destroying them all.

The battle over Dakara was quick and those on the surface were easily subdued by the Kull Warriors controlled by Anubis. Sekhmet joined her decaying lord as he landed and walked to the temple housing the Ancient weapon, Ba’al following behind, hands behind his back in disgust and defiance. Nes could make out the forms of the rebel jaffa left behind, kneeling and guarded by the super soldiers. As they approached, some of the faces became vaguely familiar, possibly serving under her at one point, but one stood out in particular: Rak’nor. His face seemed to show some hope as they grew closer, but his keen gaze likely saw what Ba’al had seen in her, dead eyes and a missing soul, and again bowed his head in despair.

Still as the goa’uld stood before the physically reverent jaffa, Rak’nor looked up in defiance and said the name she had chosen while standing by his side staring out at space. Nes could not respond, though, too trapped to even force her eyes to spare him a glance.

Anubis laughed at the jaffa’s efforts. “She is loyal to me now. You will not sway her for she has no mind of her own anymore. See?” He slapped Sekhmet hard, but she merely bowed her head in thanks for the treatment before resuming her proud stance by his side.

The pair moved down the line a bit, Anubis halting in front of a jaffa bearing his mark, and turned to Sekhmet. “Kill this traitor.”

Sekhmet’s habit with knives had not been destroyed in the brainwashing and one quickly appeared in her hand to end the jaffa’s life, a slash across the throat all that was required. The kneeling jaffa cried out, none more than Rak’nor, and the Kull Warriors had to beat them back into submission, killing two others in the scuffle.

Nes shrank back from her clouded window, unsure she wanted to continue watching as their lives and worlds were destroyed. Curiosity moved her forward again, working hard to make out what was going on outside of her own head.

Anubis moved into the temple with Sekhmet trailing behind and she stood in the doorway admiring her god as he worked to program the weapon to the specifications he had in mind. Nes pounded on her walls, knowing it was in vain, knowing she couldn’t stop until her body fell apart with the weapon’s destructive power.

Ba’al tried reason again in desperation. “My Lord Anubis, surely there is another way. Perhaps only destroying  _ certain _ worlds that have defied us.”

“Silence!” Anubis turned to the nearest guards and ordered them to secure his underlord so he could not attempt any escape, not that escape from their vicinity would save his life.

The weapon was ready in too little time and Anubis turned to Sekhmet in triumph.

“Step outside the doorway, my dear. I will watch you turn to dust.”

Sekhmet offered no horror, no terror, only compliance as she took her place in his grand scheme. Anubis ordered the Stargate to be activated, dialing every gate in their galaxy, awaiting the wave of obliteration.

Nes quieted as she stared out through her eyes. This was the end not just for her, but for everyone. She had a moment of hope realizing that Elliot was safe outside of their galaxy, outside the Stargate network that would spread the devastation. Some would survive. A handful, but some at least. She wished she’d gone with him. Or that she could at least see him once more, right the wrongs she’d done to him, straighten the lies she’d told.

The moments stretched on and Anubis stood frozen by the podium. Sekhmet waited with unending patience, but Nes looked closely at the being and could see his focus was not here, not now. If only she could regain enough control to destroy his host during his distraction, but her prison walls were just as firm as they had been, though she could see Ba’al off to her side straining against the Kull Warriors’ hands.

A white light appeared then and the black essence of Anubis left its human body to meet it in what Nes could only guess was battle, the power of which finally forced Sekhmet to shut her eyes and turn away. A wave hit her then, dropping her to her knees, but not destroying her body as she expected. Instead, Nes was thrown backwards as her prison walls were knocked down, the Sekhmet shadow dissipating as Nes regained control. She was dazed from the transition and grabbed her head in pain, laying her forehead on the ground searching for something cool in a desert world.

Nes could hear the chaos around her and finally found the strength and focus to turn her head to the side and open her eyes, seeing the rebel jaffa fighting the seemingly confused Kull Warriors. Anubis’ presence must be required to control those he’d programmed, her included, and now in his absence from their realm of existence, they were free. Of course, there was nothing left in the super soldiers without their programming, and they were easily defeated by the experienced warriors. Ba’al also quickly killed his guards and came over to check on her.

He said the name he knew her by, but she couldn’t speak yet, still spreading her mind out, letting her own control work its way back into her muscles. His face softened as he looked at her and she knew he could see that her vacant eyes had again been filled.

The pair of goa’uld, who had been ignored during the short battle, were now given attention by the angry jaffa seeking revenge. Ba’al had long oppressed them and would be dealt with, but Nes had killed one of their own and they had no way to understand that what was done to her had now been undone. Her companion saw their approach and looked at Nes with a torn expression, seeing her own eyes go wide as she understood.

He shifted to a smirk and shrugged. “My apologies, my dear Sekhmet.” And with that, he tapped his ribbon device and beamed away, likely to a ship he had cloaked in orbit and filled with those loyal servants he’d been able to keep away from Anubis.

The bastard.

Her shock and anger at being abandoned were abruptly ended by the mob’s arrival and their accompanying fury. Too weak mentally to defend herself either with words or strength, she felt pain from all sides as fists and feet made her pay for her most recent crimes, preventing her from crumbling to the ground to protect herself.

“STOP!” Rak’nor’s voice pushed through the crowd and Nes began to feel the attacks subside. She opened her eyes slightly and saw him shoving his brethren away. “Stop! She’s not your enemy.”

“She killed Tharan!” Voices echoed the accusation and Nes attempted to follow the argument.

“She was not herself. I’m sure of it. She is not Sekhmet, but the host.”

“She still killed him!”

“Please, she must have been brainwashed. You saw how she fell and grabbed her head just as Anubis’ soldiers did.”

“It only means she served him as they did!”

“Yes,  _ served _ ! We do not know if she still does now!”

“Sekhmet has killed more than just Tharan! She should pay for the lives she has taken!” Cries of assent followed and Rak’nor struggled to hold back the mob.

“At least wait until Teal’c and Bra’tac return, brothers! Let them examine her!” Rak’nor’s argument for delay seemed to be reluctantly accepted and the group surrounding Nes began to break apart.

“We will restrain her, though, Rak’nor, so that she does not escape.”

“Of course. Bring her away from the temple as well.”

Nes offered no resistance to the strong hands that lifted her and bound her, propping her roughly against a pillar that gave her a view down to the Stargate below. She closed her eyes again trying to settle the pain in her head and ignore the pain in her body.

“Nes?” Rak’nor’s voice interrupted her concentration and she opened her eyes.

“It’s me now.”

“Now? What did Anubis do to you?”

“Tortured me. Brainwashed me.” Her voice caught in her throat. “It was worse than being a host, Rak’nor. I couldn’t fight. I could barely even see what was going on beyond my own eyes!” Her breathing sped up and she winced with pain.

He reached out a hand to her shoulder. “Are you badly hurt?”

“I think several ribs are broken. It’s getting hard to breathe.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them sooner.”

“Not your fault.” She tried to take shallow breaths to keep the pain at bay. “Anything they could do to me would be well deserved.”

“You couldn’t help it, Nes. You weren’t yourself.”

“It doesn’t matter. You know the things I’ve done.”

“And you know the things I’ve done...and I don’t have near the excuses you do. We’ve all been used by the Goa’uld.” He cleared his throat. “Do you know where Ba’al went, Nes?”

She shook her head and felt her eyes flash in anger. “The coward left me behind. He had no intention of saving anyone but himself.”

“You’re his queen,” he said with indignation.

“I am nothing. Especially not since Anubis took control.” She leaned her head back against the pillar. “I just wish I could stop all of this.”

“Why can’t you? The Goa’uld are defeated.”

She shook her head gently. “Ba’al will still be out there. There are other goa’uld still on Earth. I won’t ever be able to stop. I’ll just keep going, keep pretending, keep losing bits and bits and bits of myself until either there’s nothing left or someone kills me. Probably both.”

Rak’nor was called away then and Nes was left, along with two guards, to watch the jaffa gather their dead below. Her head was still pounding, like a limb that had been kept in one position for too long and screamed at being used again. She only wanted sleep, but forced her eyes to stay open, scared to return to the dark.

Eyes began turning towards her and bodies moved up the stairs. Her guards stiffened and she scanned the area for Rak’nor with no luck. He must have gone to meet the ha’tak she’d seen landing in the distance only moments ago. Without him to calm the others…

“Tharan was my brother! You slaughtered him like an animal and now you will pay.” The jaffa was younger than the one she’d killed and his youthful temper would not be robbed of its chance to avenge his family.

“Bha’ran, we agreed to wait for Teal’c and Bra’tac,” said an older jaffa who grabbed at him unsuccessfully.

“I will not allow them to let her go unpunished. She should be hung from the temple for all Jaffa to see what has become of the false gods!” There were cheers at this and Nes’ body went cold. As much as she knew she deserved death, there was a natural fear that none could escape.

Bha’ran grabbed her by the throat and pulled her to standing, making her choke as she tried to speak. “Please...I was trying to stop them!”

“I don’t care what you were doing. My brother is dead by your hand.” He leaned closer. “And you will be dead by mine.” He spit in her face and threw her against the pillar.

Her eyes flashed involuntarily in her fear and anger and that was the trigger that set off the explosion of chaos. Again, every part of her was attacked by too many hands and feet to count, but this time she felt a blade or two plunge into her as well as slash her face. She tried to scream, but couldn’t get enough air into her lungs to make any significant noise. She kept hoping she would black out soon, but the pain continued though the yelling around her began to change, taking on more structure and tone beyond the mob dialogue.

“Nesert!” Her eyes met Bra’tac’s for a moment before they closed in relief.

“Come!” She recognized Teal’c’s voice this time. “We will take her to the Tau’ri. They may be able to save her.”

Strong arms picked her up and began moving quickly down the stairs, jostling her far too much. As she managed to open her eyes again, she could see the vital amounts of blood she was leaving behind in the sand, her trained eyes knowing it was far too much to live without. Yet still she was conscious, her mind still mostly aware of the pain radiating through her body, the bouncing as Teal’c ran, the blood soaking her dress, her head still pounding, her skin going cold. As they moved through the Stargate, she could hear the yelling on the other side begin immediately as she was laid onto a gurney as gently as Teal’c could manage with speed.

From there it was a jumble of doctors and nurses and orders and diagnoses and a very controlled panic over how bad things really were.

“Sir, it might be wise to get the Tok’ra that are still here from seeing Selmak...her injuries are severe.”

That stirred Nes into action. “JACK!” she screamed as loudly as she could, startling those who had thought she was already out. “Jack!” Her voice was weaker this time.

“I’m here, Nes. What is it?” His voice sounded strained.

She opened her eyes to search for his, reaching up weakly to grab the front of his jacket. “Jack...no snake.” She would not let the Tok’ra make her a host. He would understand.

“Nes…” he began, but then nodded. “Okay. Just hang in there. Keep fighting.”

The doctor dismissed him and soon they were administering the proper drugs to give her the dark she had feared and then wished for.


	20. Chapter 20

Nes spent a long time drifting in and out as her body began to heal. She’d required numerous surgeries just to deal with the internal injuries she’d sustained and then once she was stable enough, they began addressing the broken and shattered bones. The jaffa’s greater strength from their symbiotes was apparent in every part of Nes’ body and she knew without anyone saying that it had been a rough battle to keep her alive.

As she started spending more time awake, she was surprised by how much she had missed, the biggest of which involved the Atlantis expedition. Stargate Command had finally heard from the Pegasus galaxy when a highly compressed data file was sent through the gate, only to learn that the expedition would likely be under attack from a hostile alien race they’d encountered. Somehow (though Nes was still  _ very _ confused on the details) the SGC had gotten their hands on another ZPM, an Ancient power source, and immediately began working on a plan to help Atlantis.

From what Nes could gather, they’d first sent support through the Stargate using the ZPM to power the dialing to a different galaxy and then immediately plugged that ZPM into the Daedalus. Earth’s newest ship then headed towards Atlantis, the advanced power source allowing them to make the trip in just four days. A little over a week later, Atlantis had dialed Earth and the senior members of the expedition had walked through the gate with good news that they’d fooled the new enemy (the Wraith or some such name) into thinking the city had been destroyed and were hopeful they’d be left in peace, at least for a while.

So when Dr. Weir and a man Nes hadn’t met came into the infirmary for their turns at getting a thorough workup, Nes wasn’t surprised to see the former leader of Stargate Command, though the same could not be said for the Atlantis commander.

“Nesert! What happened to you?” Dr. Weir came over to her bed, her mouth hanging open, the dark haired man trailing behind.

Nes knew she still looked quite bad, the swelling and healing knife wounds making her barely recognizable at times. “I’m afraid a group of free jaffa had some  _ questions _ about my allegiances. A concern I believe you share, Dr. Weir.”

“Yes, but good heavens…” She looked around for something else to say and remembered the man next to her.“ Nesert, this is the newly promoted Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. He’s the military commander of the Atlantis expedition. John, this is Nesert Saeda. She’s...well, she’s…” Dr. Weir looked to Nes for help.

“I’m a former goa’uld host and without these injuries most people would recognize me as Tessa James.”

“The Butcher Tessa James?” Colonel Sheppard asked with raised eyebrows.

“That’s the one.”

“So the snake in your head was the one killing people.”

Nes tilted her head slightly. “Mostly.” She ignored his confused look. “Dr. Weir...I was just curious...Lt. Elliot....”

“He’s good,” Dr. Weir said with a smile. “And he’ll find out when we get back that he’s now Captain Elliot.”

“That’s great. He deserves it.” She tried to insert some excitement into her voice, but even she could hear the hollowness.

“You and Elliot friends?” Sheppard put his hands in his pockets uncomfortably.

“No.” Normally she wouldn’t elaborate her answers, but Sheppard contorted his face in a way similar to Jack that was meant to encourage her to continue. She finally sighed and continued. “I was along on his first offworld mission. Just curious how he’s getting on in the Pegasus galaxy.”

Dr. Weir gave her a pointed look, knowing what had occurred on that mission. Nes knew she at the very least had heard rumors on base of the relationship between the pair, but the expedition leader didn’t call her out on her partial truths. After all, by the time Dr. Weir had taken over the SGC, Nes had begun cutting Elliot out of her life, trying to protect him from her duplicity as she allied herself with Ba’al.

“When do you all head back?” She needed to redirect the conversation.

“The Daedalus began its journey back to Earth soon after we left, but it will take them about three weeks to get here without the ZPM, plus it’ll likely need some maintenance after the battle with the Wraith.”

“The Wraith...what are they like?”

The colonel crossed his arms. “Kinda like vampires. Suck the life right out of you.”

“Well, that sounds pleasant.”

“Yeah...better than a snake in your head, I’m guessing.”

Nes wasn’t sure how to respond simply because she wasn’t sure if that were true or not. She finally just shrugged. “Hard to say when you only have experience with one, I suppose.”

“How long do they think it will take you to heal, Nesert?” Dr. Weir’s tone was cautious.

Nes swallowed hard. “Without a sarcophagus...a long time. I doubt I’ll ever fully recover with the damage done.”

“I’m so sorry,” Dr. Weir said with real sympathy.

Nes didn’t want sympathy. “We both know I deserve much worse than this, Dr. Weir.”

The other woman began to object, but a nurse came in then to collect Nes’ conversation partners for their own workups and Nes laid back, exhausted from the effort of talking, but also relieved to hear that Elliot was fine - good even. She fell asleep quickly, her body and mind still weak.

******

It was still several weeks before Nes was allowed to leave the infirmary and its constant monitoring. She was certainly grateful for the slight increase in privacy by being back in a regular room. Of course, that also meant a significant decrease in her human interaction without nursing staff buzzing around all the time and Nes felt herself slipping further and further into a depression with too much time with her own thoughts.

The irony of the situation was not lost on Nes even with the concussion and medicinal fog. Her greatest injuries had come from those she would have counted as allies. It really was no surprise they saw her as they did, but still, it was hard with her empty hours to not begin to develop a level of bitterness towards all of those around her she’d been trying to help.

Before he had left for Dakara to help with the creation of the new Jaffa government, Teal’c had come by to check on her. The guilt he felt was apparent even on his stoic face, but she had forced out all the appropriate words to absolve him of any responsibility for his brethren or their understandable misconceptions about her allegiances. She made sure the blame was laid squarely on herself and the Goa’uld. She also had pressed him to pass her words onto Rak’nor, wanting to at least thank the young jaffa’s efforts in protecting her.

The attack by the jaffa had hurt her more than just physically, though. All of her attempts to help had been worthless, too often making her yet another pawn of the goa’uld despite her best efforts to stay in control. She’d committed too many unforgivable acts and she was finally beginning to acknowledge the impossibility of ever gaining acceptance from any of those she admired. She would always be a monster to anyone with even a semblance of a conscience. She was far too damaged and now her body had followed suit.

By the time Sam had come to tell her she was taking a position as head of R&D at Area 51 and Daniel would be catching the return trip to Atlantis soon, Nes was nearing rock bottom, her skills in deception now struggling to cover her despair.

“When do you leave?”

“Next week.”

“And Jack?” Nes wasn’t stupid. When Sam had called off her engagement to Pete shortly after her father and Selmak had died (Nes hadn’t learned about that until just a few weeks ago, having been with Anubis at the time and not exactly coherent for so long afterwards), it had been obvious to everyone without anyone speaking the words that Sam and Jack had finally begun to acknowledge their feelings for one another. And now the two of them were taking clear paths to separate themselves professionally and Nes did her best to be happy for them.

“He’s headed to the Pentagon to be the new head of Homeworld Security.”

Nes nodded slowly. “Good. Let me know if any of my houses can assist in any...covert operations.” She smiled as Sam’s face tinted just slightly red.

Sam cleared her throat a few times. “I’ll keep in touch, Nes. I’ll try to get back here as often as I can to check in on you as well. Make sure you keep up on therapies.”

“Yes, Mom,” Nes teased, but then suddenly felt an overwhelming need for her own mother and a few tears threatened to spill out. She quickly pulled up Sekhmet who, even in her weakened form, would be able to shut down those emotions she couldn’t handle.

Not quick enough, though.

“You okay, Nes?”

“Yeah, of course. Just tired. Everything just takes so much effort still.”

Sam nodded, but didn’t look completely convinced. “They’ve offered SG-1 to Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell. Good guy. He led the squadron of F-302’s that held off Anubis’ forces over Antarctica while we tried to get down to the Ancient outpost. His plane went down, though, and he was injured pretty badly. Took him a long time to recover, but when given the choice of any posting in the Air Force, he wanted SG-1.”

“So many new people. General Landry replacing Jack. Dr. Lam down in the infirmary. Father and daughter...hostile father and daughter. That should add some nice drama around here. It’s always far too quiet.”

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, they’ll be an interesting pair. Dr. Lam’s handled your care well during the transition, though, right?”

“Yep, a total professional. And General Landry’s...a straight shooter. I can’t complain about that.”

“Good. Well, I’ll make sure to send Cam to say hello when he gets here. He knows all about long days of therapy and recovery.”

Nes just nodded. She had no desire to make any new friends or hear about how someone understands  _ exactly _ what she’s going through. There wasn’t a single soul on Earth or anywhere else that could understand what she was going through.

******

Sam left and Daniel was in a state of pure panic and chaos trying to pack and Nes just...stopped. She stopped going to therapy. She stopped eating more than the bare minimum. She stopped talking.

She just stopped.

It was pathetic and she knew it, but the disgust with her self pity only intensified her self loathing and spiraled her back around to despair. Dr. Lam tried medication changes and the base psychologist tried to get her to talk, but she was past talking. She was past caring. She had nothing left anymore. She didn’t even have the ability to walk out of the base and disappear, her usual tactic when things got too difficult.

She didn’t bother responding to the knock on her door. She never did anymore, but quietly took in the man who peeked around the door.

“Oh! Hi! You didn’t answer so I thought maybe you just weren’t here. Figured I’d leave a note or something, but I guess you  _ are _ here, so…” He looked around the room and then back at her silent self in the bed and pointed to himself. “Cameron Mitchell.”

Nes still didn’t respond, but also didn’t bother to hide her observing eyes.

“Just got here to join SG-1, but apparently I’m supposed to lead an entirely new team. General O’Neill forgot to mention that Colonel Carter, Dr. Jackson, and Teal’c are all leaving. Is he always like that? Just leaving out major details?”

Nes couldn’t keep a smile from forming and forgot herself for a moment. “He doesn’t like to talk about anything that makes him uncomfortable.”

Mitchell gave her a large smile and grabbed a chair to sit. “Right. Well,  _ now _ I’m supposed to pick out my new team members. I went and spoke to Dr. Jackson to try convincing him to stay, but he’s too excited about Atlantis.”

“He’s been wanting to go for a while now.”

“Yeah, something about it being the City of the Ancients and he’s the expert on the Ancients.” He folded his arms. “Offered me his apartment, though.”

“Nice of him.”

“Yeah, but there’s gotta be a way to get them all to come back. You know them all pretty well, right? Any ideas?”

“Sam will probably be back the second there’s a new problem to solve, Teal’c...politics will drive anyone back here, and Daniel...you’ll have to physically chain him to the wall to keep him from going to Atlantis. Though even then, he might just gnaw his own arm off.”

Colonel Mitchell thought for a moment. “So we need some new adventure for them?”

“Good luck with that. The galaxy’s getting boring out there.”

“Yeah…” He went quiet in thought. “Well, maybe something will turn up.”

“You’re hoping for a new crisis?”

“Well, maybe not a  _ crisis _ . Just some excitement.”

“I think those are the same thing around here, Colonel.”

“Call me Cameron. And what do people call you?”

“To my face?”

Cameron chuckled. “Yeah, to your face.”

“Most people call me Nes.”

“So word on the street,  _ Nes _ , is that you’ve stopped going to therapy.”

Nes crossed her arms. “What is this? An intervention?”

“Nah, just someone who’s been there.”

“Mmhmm, I bet. Have you even  _ read _ my file?”

“Oh yeah, couldn’t put it down.”

“And you still think  _ you’ve _ been  _ here _ ?” she asked as she gestured to herself and the room.

“Well, maybe not  _ exactly _ here...there, but I remember being told I might not walk again and thinking my life was over.”

“My life was over a long time ago.”

“You haven’t even tried yet.”

“Do you want to know the big difference between you and me? When you’re strong and healthy, you do  _ good _ things. You help people. When I’m strong and healthy...well, let’s just say I don’t have the best track record.”

“And here I thought your file suggested that you’re big into self sacrifice, saving plenty of people.”

“Don’t believe everything you read, Colonel.”

“Listen, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you’ve gone through or what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter at this point.” He stood up in frustration. “Find a reason, a goal to work towards, anything, but good grief, buck up. You got hurt. You’re not dead. You still have your legs. There’s a lot of people who aren’t so lucky. And don’t think you’re the only one who’s ever killed innocent people in the middle of war.” He blinked his eyes rapidly and Nes was surprised to see they were damp. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go figure out what the hell I’m going to do here.”

With that he left abruptly and Nes was left trying to figure out how she’d lost control of the situation so entirely. She needed to find  _ his _ file and get a handle on his background and motivations. She was slipping. She wasn’t able to read people as well as she used to now that she was so consumed with her own issues. She was weak in every way now.

Surprisingly, that seemed to be the motivation she needed. It was one thing to have her body injured, but no longer being able to manage the people around her made her feel intensely fragile and uncomfortable. She would at least work towards being able to leave the base. If she could walk, she could get out of this room and out of her own head. Maybe even find Ba’al for a bit of revenge. That was an appealing thought, certainly, and one both Nes and Sekhmet latched onto. Making Ba’al pay for his betrayal ever so slowly was a mental image she played over and over and over as she slowly worked through the pain of standing for the first time since she’d been hurt.

“So my pep talk worked, huh?” Cameron came bounding in with an arrogant strut.

Nes’ teeth were pressed so hard together that she couldn’t do anything but glare at him, but as she sat down again with groan, she looked up at him with a smirk. “You said to find a goal.”

“Yeah?”

“You made me realize how much I’d like to torture and kill Ba’al for his contribution to my current situation.”

“So my backup career as a motivational speaker…”

“Depends what you were trying to motivate me to do.”

He shrugged. “Well, it sounds like this Ba’al guy probably deserves it, so...uh...good for you.”

Nes smiled and he wished her luck before leaving her to get back to work. And work it was. Nes couldn’t remember ever being as exhausted as she was after therapies, barely able to keep her eyes open once she’d showered and climbed into bed. She was grateful for sleep completely devoid of any dreams, good or bad. She wasn’t even sure what good dreams looked like any more; anything good faded into the sadness that happiness was so unachievable for her.

******

With her new persistence, Dr. Lam made the decision to move her to the Air Force Academy Hospital for continued therapy as well as some new procedures that might be able to assist her. Nes wasn’t particularly keen on leaving the SGC, but the idea of seeing the sun and sky was appealing enough to convince her of the benefits of the move. The scarring on her face obscured her identity so they didn’t have to be quite so careful with hiding her and part of Nes was happy for the anonymity that didn’t require so much effort on her part.

She still wasn’t in any shape to return to her house, needing far too much assistance, medication, and monitoring, but the annoyance of living in a hospital continued to push her to work hard. Cameron had stopped by once to check on her after she’d gotten settled, making small talk and clearly trying to figure her out, but otherwise she was still mostly alone, unable to connect or relate to the staff or other patients she encountered.

The second time Cam came by, he was much more deliberate in their conversations and Nes listened carefully before responding.

“So this woman who stole the Prometheus once showed up with some vague promises of Ancient treasure here on Earth and then slapped a goa’uld prison transport bracelet onto Daniel to ensure she got her fair share of whatever was discovered.”

“Yeah, you ever have experience with these Kor Mak bracelets?”

“Sekhmet rarely ever took prisoners. I could dig through her memories, but I doubt she cared much about them.”

“Damn. Well, Daniel’s either gonna have to find the treasure or marry this girl.”

Nes chuckled. “And you said she’s a former host?”

“Yeah. Vala was host to...Qetesh? Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Really?” Sekhmet’s personality surfaced at this information, Qetesh being both a rival and ally of Athena at various times. Cam narrowed his eyes as he noted the change in her expression. “So I’m guessing Daniel is working to translate this tablet she brought, then?”

“Oh yeah. I think he’d do anything to get rid of her.”

“What about Atlantis?”

“The Daedalus already left.”

Nes sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “I’m surprised Daniel didn’t kill this woman for making him miss going.”

“He contemplated it, but he’d die, too, so…”

Nes laughed and wondered if this Vala was precisely what Daniel needed in his life. She wanted to meet her. She hadn’t met any other former hosts of goa’uld, just Tok’ra.

“Well, keep me updated.”

“Will do. Keep working hard.”

She did. She kept at it, but it required more and more of Sekhmet’s bitterness at Ba’al to keep her going, especially knowing that she wasn’t likely to ever have her body back to its original form or strength. The scars left on her mind by Sekhmet were now reflected in the damage done to her face and limbs and she struggled with the realization that she’d depended far too much on her outer appearance and physical skills.

By the time Colonel Mitchell returned, Nes was starting to walk, though only a few steps at a time at this point. Unfortunately, he came with news of a new foe coming to their galaxy.

“You were the one who wanted some...excitement.”

“Not what I meant.”

“I tried to warn you of what excitement looks like around here.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember.”

“So the Ori.”

“Ascended beings who apparently are not as nice as the ones we’ve encountered in this galaxy. They want to be worshipped and they’re not pleased with anyone who doesn’t want to jump on their religion bandwagon.”

“And you said they’ve started sending...missionaries to worlds here?”

“Yeah, they call themselves Priors. Apparently one used powers and burned himself alive in the briefing room.”

Nes contorted her face into disgust. “Well, they sound less pleasant than even the Goa’uld.”

“Yeah, the Ori aren’t frauds in the power department.”

“And the Ascended beings here? Will they help?”

Cam shrugged. “Not sure. Technically the Priors are still just humans, so they probably won’t stop them. All the rules are a bit fuzzy for me.”

“At least with the goa’uld, you could just assume they were waiting to stab you in the back. The Ascended beings...who the hell knows, right?”

“Yep, guess it’ll just be a waiting game, but I don’t plan on entrusting our galaxy to energy beings who may or may not help. Hopefully we can find some ways to defend ourselves.” He looked at his watch and stood. “Hey, I gotta go. Vala finally took the bracelets off herself and Daniel and is supposed to leave today so I figured I’d at least say goodbye...and make sure she doesn’t steal anything.”

“Too bad. I would have liked to meet another former host.”

Cam smiled and gave her a wink as he headed out the door. “I’d hate to see the trouble you two would cause. Bye, Nes.”

As he left, she sighed and leaned her head back, wishing she could find her old self to get her through this instead of having to constantly pull Sekhmet up for strength. This should have been the perfect opportunity to suppress Sekhmet as long term pain had done in the past, but she’d had enough outside forces back then to keep her going. She was drifting now with everyone she’d relied on gone. Sam, Elliot, Jack, Daniel, Teal’c, Hailey, even Nathan, who’d been deployed after completing his training. They were all off living their own lives and she’d been left behind. Not intentionally, but she was still alone, still on her own to get through this.

Was Sekhmet the only one who would really always be there for her?

******

It turned out that removing the bracelets hadn’t severed the connection between Daniel and Vala, though it was unclear as to the why. At this point, all they could do was hope that the effects would eventually wear off, which wasn’t a comforting thought to anyone at the SGC. In the meantime, Vala was tagging along, Daniel’s constant companion, and (from what Cam had to say) annoying him to death.

Nes felt bad for being amused at Daniel’s annoyance with the situation, but she couldn’t help it, especially when Cam laughed right along with her. It felt good to laugh, though he left and it was over and she felt worse than she had before.

She had to get away, but she still couldn’t walk well enough to manage on her own, nor could she go long enough without all the medications she was on. She’d been attempting to wean off of the drugs for the pain, but it was going far too slowly. Her connections could certainly gain her access to any prescriptions she required, but she didn’t like the feeling of total dependence on something. It was too similar to how she’d felt with killing and the sarcophagus.

It was several more weeks and quite a bit of progress in her therapies before anyone stopped by again, but she was pleased that this time it was Sam and Daniel.

“So you’re hoping to be discharged soon? Going to outpatient therapy?” Sam asked as she and Daniel got settled in her room.

“That’s the plan. I’m getting stronger and weaned off of most of the medications I was on.”

“Good. You look so much better than the last time I was here.” Sam shifted her eyes downward, likely feeling some guilt over not visiting like she’d promised to. “Prognosis good then?”

Nes just shrugged. “We’ll see.” It wasn’t a great prognosis actually, but she didn’t want to discuss it at the moment. “So Daniel, I’m guessing the effects of the bracelets have finally worn off if you’re here without Vala.”

He sighed and cocked his head to the side. “Yes, but it’s more that...well, she’s gone. She, uh, well...she sacrificed herself to stop the Ori from creating a kind of supergate to invade this galaxy.”

“A supergate?”

Sam leaned forward. “They were able to form a forcefield around a gate and then expand it to contain the entire planet. They then collapsed the planet into a black hole to power a huge gate that an entire armada could fit through.”

Nes knew her eyes were wide as she took that information in. A gate large enough for ships and from a different galaxy. The power consumption was amazing, the engineering amazing, the sheer magnitude of the plan amazing. The Ori and their followers were a formidable foe.

“But Vala stopped them?”

“She flew a cargo ship into the place of the last section of the supergate, disrupting the energy field. She might have beamed away before the ship was destroyed by the shockwave, pulled into the singularity, but there’s no way to know.”

“It’s lucky you found where they came into our galaxy.”

Sam and Daniel looked at one another before Daniel spoke. “It wasn’t luck. We were tricked.”

“By who?”

“Nerus.”

“Nerus? That disgusting pig? What on Earth did he have to do with all of this?”

“He sent a message saying he wanted to work with us against the Ori. Told us about the forcefield and convinced us to attack. We detonated a naquadria enhanced nuclear warhead.”

“And that didn’t destroy it?”

“No, on the contrary. The forcefield actually used the power from our own weapons to expand.”

“So Nerus got in bed with the Ori.”

“Yep,” Daniel said in annoyance.

“And where is he now?”

“In a cell in Area 51. He thought we would kill him and then he’d ascend.”

“I doubt he’s going to be too happy with prison food.”

Daniel smiled. “We’re hoping that motivates him to  _ actually  _ help us against the Ori.”

Nes chuckled. “And here I thought you didn’t torture prisoners. Well, watch him closely. I doubt Ba’al will be thrilled about his betrayal, though that is just the way of the Goa’uld. Be the most powerful or serve the most powerful. Still, Ba’al doesn’t take kindly to that kind of behavior and he may not want him to survive to help you.”

“Well, Ba’al’s been pretty quiet since the whole Dakara debacle. Teal’c said he’s been seen in the Archeva system.”

Nes felt her bitterness intensify as they discussed him. “Good. I hope he rots on some backwater planet.”

Daniel looked over her face. “We all hope that.”


	21. Chapter 21

Finally able to walk steadily and down to a minimal dosage of just a few medications, Nes was released to return to her house for the first time since she’d been back on Earth. An airman was assigned to drop her off and she thanked him as she slowly got out of the truck. She made her way inside and paused just inside the door to breathe in the familiarity. She went straight to the shower and stayed under the warm water until it began to run cold and then threw on a robe and moved back into her bedroom, drying her hair as she went.

“I thought you would never finish up. I almost came to join you.”

Nes whipped around towards the well known voice, instinctively adjusting her robe to conceal even more. Ba’al was lying on her bed in a dark gray suit, propped up against the headboard, ankles crossed, hands behind his head, and a smirk on his face.

“You have  _ some _ nerve showing up here after what you did,” she spat out as she whipped the towel in her hand towards the goa’uld.

Ba’al caught it with a smile before swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress and approaching her cautiously. “Come now, darling. It would have done neither of us any good for me to remain and endure the attack as well.”

“They nearly killed me!”

Ba’al brought a hand to her face and gently traced the various crisscrossing scars. “Yes, they did mar your lovely face.” He kissed the largest scar. “A short time in the sarcophagus will remedy that. Now, get dressed so we can go.”

She stood glaring at him and he laughed quietly, reaching out to take hold of her robe’s belt, and pulled her towards him gently.

“Unless you would like to spend a little more time here first.” He laughed louder as she shoved him away. “Surely you’re not going to withhold your forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness first requires repentance,  _ darling _ . I can’t say I’ve heard an apology as of yet.”

“You know I would so prefer to show you instead.”

Nes scoffed and walked back towards the bathroom. “Wait there,” she called as she went through to the closet. She grabbed a simple wrap dress and flats and threw them on as quickly as she could, pulling her hair up in a clip.

Ba’al wasn’t in her bedroom when she returned and she panicked for a moment that he was gone, taking his offer of his sarcophagus with him, but she found him in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine.

“You have a nice collection downstairs. I hope you don’t mind me picking one out.” He poured two glasses and handed one to her. “This house is nice, but I think I prefer your Los Angeles one more. How many homes  _ do _ you own?”

“Enough.” She smirked. “But I’ll buy more anyway.”

He returned her smirk. “Always something new to acquire or conquer.” He took another sip. “Especially here on Earth.”

“How long have you been here?” She sat down, her body growing weary.

“Since Dakara. I’m afraid the combination of Anubis, the rebel Jaffa, and the Tau’ri managed to destroy all that I had worked so hard to control.” The bitterness in his voice was thick and he threw back the rest of his wine in one gulp before filling his glass again. “Still, this planet is not without its charms.”

“I think you’ll enjoy it thoroughly.”

Ba’al finished his second glass and then reached into his pocket to pull out a small device. “Locator beacon. I’ll beam you to the ship.”

Nes took it and watched Ba’al disappear in a flash of light. A few moments later she found herself standing in the cargo bay of an al’kesh.

“Follow me.” He walked through a set of doors and around the corner to a side room and ushered her in.

Nes felt her body relax at the sight of the large golden sarcophagus, the months of agony simply learning to walk again about to be washed away. Ba’al turned the symbol on the top to open it and assisted her in climbing in. She momentarily remembered a time where she would have been hesitant to use the device, but she was willing to do almost anything to have her body restored now.

“I will see you soon,’ Ba’al said as the lid closed over her and she gave him a genuine smile of anticipation.

******

Nes woke to the light streaming into her eyes as the top slabs parted above her and she sat up with ease, releasing a sigh of contentment. Ba’al extended a hand to assist her in getting out and she immediately reached up to touch her face, breathing out with relief as her fingers found only smooth skin instead of the bumps and lines she’d been left with.

“You look as beautiful as ever, Sekhmet.”

She moved her arms and stretched some, enjoying every movement with her restored body. Bones, muscles, skin, all were healed and she breathed deeply before turning to Ba’al, his own eyes showing appreciation.

Nes reached out to take hold of his tie, pulling him towards her and he was more than happy to respond to her advances. With the combination of suddenly being pain free, the restoration of her physical form, the sarcophagus’ mental effects, and pure adrenaline, she knew right away that she would do nothing but carry this through, wanting to enjoy him at least once before she began to take her revenge for his abandonment. For a moment, Elliot’s face flashed into her mind and she wished she were with him instead, but the Sekhmet remnants had been strengthened by the sarcophagus and easily pushed away any stray thoughts to resume their focus on Ba’al.

“I told you to bring her to me!”

Nes looked towards the familiar voice in the doorway with confusion.

There stood Ba’al.

Another Ba’al.

Her eyes went back to the man holding her and then again to the intruder, blinking furiously as she tried to sort out the situation.

The new Ba’al grabbed the first one and pulled him away from Nes, throwing him against the sarcophagus in a rage. Nes wasn’t sure what to do, simply staring in shock.

“You can hardly blame me for getting distracted,” the Ba’al on the ground said as he wiped some blood from his smirking mouth. “I would have brought her to you...afterwards.”

“She is  _ mine _ ,” the new Ba’al said through clenched teeth. “I made that very clear. None of you are to touch her.” He grabbed a staff weapon from the wall and aimed it at his duplicate.

“Ba’al, please…” But no words would calm the angry version of himself and the first Ba’al fell backwards, his chest bearing the large hole left by a close range staff blast.

Nes screamed in surprise and the new Ba’al turned to her, his fury starting to subside.

“What is going on?” she finally choked out.

“I did not acquire only the Asgard beaming technology.”

The pieces clicked together. “Clones. You cloned yourself like the Asgard do.”

This would make things more complicated.

The still breathing Ba’al smiled at her. “Yes. They’ve been quite helpful.” He went over to the corpse and roughly picked him up to throw into the sarcophagus. “Come here, my dear.” He reached out to her and she cautiously placed her hand in his, letting him pull her gently over to his side. He took the arm of the dead Ba’al and pulled back the sleeve, revealing a Greek beta tattooed on the inside of the wrist. “He was my second clone, but you will know me by own symbol.” He rolled back his left cuff to show her his distinct symbol, the one his jaffa bore. “The others all bear their own letters of the Greek alphabet.”

“Others?”

“Yes.” He closed the sarcophagus and turned to her. “Of course you cannot be held responsible for Beta’s deception, but now that you know how to identify me, I expect you to keep your distance from my clones.” He stroked her face. “I will not share you.”

He kissed her, trying to pick up where Beta had left off, but Nes pulled away with a laugh.

“My dear Lord Ba’al, if you want my affection, then you will need to charm me  _ yourself _ .” She began to strut out of the room in defiance, but turned back suddenly, walking over to the real Ba’al. She slapped him hard across the face. “That’s for abandoning me,” she hissed out at him before finally moving out into the corridor. That didn’t nearly begin to pay him back for his betrayal, but he would be suspicious if she wasn’t at least a little bit angry.

He caught up to her quickly, grabbing her arm, and angrily steered her to the bridge, where they found a few jaffa commanding the ship.

“You,” he pointed to the closest jaffa, “Beta is in the sarcophagus. When he revives, bind him and bring him down to the complex for me to deal with.”

The jaffa brought a fist to his chest and bowed. “Yes, Lord Ba’al.”

They left and headed back to the cargo bay, Ba’al beaming her down first and then appearing at her side. She found herself in a light filled foyer with marble floors, elegant millwork, and a ceiling that was more glass than solid.

“Welcome to my current castle of sorts.”

“Where are we?” Nes asked as she walked to the windows to peer outside at a patio and green lawn.

“Just west of Bethesda, Maryland. Athena helped me acquire this property, as well as another, to set up our base of operations.”

Nes bristled at the mention of Athena and Ba’al smiled at her jealousy.

“So you’ve taken over the Trust? Or is that still in process?”

“I control most of it, yes, though there are still some rogue operations and most of the humans do not know my _ true  _ nature.”

“They do not know they are working for the enemy they swore to fight.” Nes felt a small amount of pity for them, but as their methods were far too similar to the goa’uld’s, her sympathy didn’t last more than a few moments.

“Come. I’ll show you to your room. You will change and then accompany me to dinner. I did actually make reservations this time.” He winked at her as he placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her down the hall.

The house, though modern and simple, fit Ba’al with its masculine colors and materials and she praised his adaptation to Earth culture. He left her to get dressed, saying he needed to attend to a few issues before they departed, and she went to the closet to find an assortment of clothing. She chose a classic little black dress, but paired it with red heels, knowing Ba’al always enjoyed anything that drew attention to her long legs.

She was glad to find her door unlocked and made her way back towards the center of the house to explore a bit. Nes eventually wandered into the kitchen where she found more than one Ba’al who all looked up as she click-clicked into the room with her heels on the wood planked floor.

“Sekhmet, when did you get here?” asked the one who had been rummaging through the refrigerator. He closed the doors and came over to her, taking her hand to kiss it.

“Not too long ago.” She twisted her wrist to reveal his and found an epsilon. She looked up to a smirking face and patted his cheek.

The other two came over to greet her, each with a kiss on her cheek and letting her see their own tattoos: gamma and kappa.

“Going out?” Kappa asked.

“Yes, Ba’al is taking me out to dinner.” She hadn’t determined yet if this was fantasy or nightmare, but it was certainly odd, regardless.

“If he’s too busy, I’d be happy to take you,” Gamma said with a wink.

“You might want to chat with Beta before you make offers like that.” All three raised their eyebrows and she opened her mouth to explain when a hand rested on her waist and a kiss fell onto her cheek.

“You look stunning. Ready to go?” She turned to find Ba’al glaring at his clones. “We’ll see the rest of you later.” He turned her around and took her hand as he walked down a different hallway. “I believe I told you to keep your distance.”

“You can hardly blame me for getting distracted,” she said in a silky voice.

Ba’al stopped and turned to flash his eyes at her, shifting into his goa’uld voice. “I will not tolerate any...fraternizing with them, my dear.”

“Perhaps you should not have me live in the same house with them, then.”

He grabbed her throat, though not as roughly as he’d done in the past. “Perhaps I should just make sure you are in  _ my _ bed every night.”

“If you had come to get me yourself, I would already be there, but you had your priorities.” She smacked his hand away from her.

“And you’re going to punish me for it.”

“It’s like I told Beta: forgiveness should be preceded by repentance.” She turned and continued down the hall, the door at the end leading to a garage.

As she looked over the cars, Ba’al grabbed her around the waist. “I apologize, my dear. I thought you’d be in good hands with Beta.”

Nes smiled seductively. “Oh, I was.”

Ba’al’s eyes flashed again, but he chose to ignore her baiting. “Let’s go.” He moved towards a black Mercedes and opened the passenger door for her. She climbed in, curious what kind of a driver he’d be, and crossed her legs as he slid into the driver’s seat. After opening the garage door and shifting into gear, his hand immediately found her thigh and she allowed it, adrenaline pumping through her with his fast, but precise driving.

He took her to an elegant restaurant in downtown DC and she knew he savored the attention they received.

“I think I may enjoy you on my arm even more on Earth. You inspire so much admiration and fear,” he whispered in her ear as they walked into the building.

Nes turned to smile at him. “Yes, I must admit to loving that as well.”

“I read up on your activities on Earth quite a bit, though I certainly enjoyed the various films as well.”

“Don’t count on those for accuracy, darling.”

“You’ll have to enlighten me on the facts later,” he said with a quick wink.

They settled into a curved booth, Ba’al pressed up against her, and eventually ordered.

“What will you do with Beta?” she asked as she took a sip of wine.

“Hopefully he’s learned his lesson.”

Nes dropped her own hand to Ba’al’s leg. “Don’t be too hard on him. I am rather tempting.”

Ba’al took a deep breath. “And that is precisely the defense he used.” He kissed her gently before shifting away, straightening into a more professional persona. “I’ve been hearing more and more rumors about this new threat to our galaxy. What have you learned of the Ori?”

“They’re certainly a formidable force. Closer to gods than we ever were.”

“Yes...and with our armies vanquished, there’s little hope of a united front against them.”

“No, the Jaffa are divided and weak. The Tau’ri are...well, the Tau’ri.” Her implication prompted a chuckle from Ba’al. “And the rest of the humans are so desperate for gods to replace us, they are easily swayed by the tricks of the Priors.”

“There  _ must _ be a way to control the Jaffa again…”

Nes cleared her throat. “We cannot even count on our own. Nerus came to visit not too long ago.”

“Yes, I heard of the coward’s betrayal.”

“Fortunately, the attempt to form a beachhead in this galaxy failed, but I doubt that will stop them for long.”

“And the Ascended beings of this galaxy will not help us?”

“Apparently there’s some complexity with the rules or some such nonsense. I would say it would not be wise to count on any protection from them.”

“If only we could start over again...” He waved a hand at the insanity of the idea and turned back to her. “And the Atlantis expedition? They also have encountered a new foe, correct?”

Ba’al certainly kept himself well informed. “Yes, the Wraith. Apparently they feed on humans like cattle, sucking their life force out of them.” She held up her own hand examining the palm. “It sounds like a rather unpleasant way to die.”

“And is there any fear of them coming to this galaxy?”

“They have already tried once. Thanks to us and our generous rule for so long, the humans of this galaxy are plentiful. The Wraith have not done as well to breed the necessary...livestock to satisfy their hunger.”

“So they wish to come here for a feast? Are the Tau’ri handling them well?”

Nes suspected that Ba’al already had all of this information, but was testing her honesty. “For the moment, but I will continue to monitor that situation.” She reached for her wine again and smiled. “With the threats of the Ori and the Wraith, I imagine the people of this galaxy will begin to long for the good old days when we ruled them.”

Ba’al grimaced. “Yes...the good old days.”

Nes patted his hand. “Now don’t start brooding, my dear. It’s really not very attractive.”

He pulled his hand away and glared at her, but before he could speak, they were interrupted by the waiter bringing their meals. The disruption restored the conversation, though, and they spent the evening discussing Ba’al’s discoveries on Earth. Nes rather enjoyed hearing his perspective on the various cultures of Earth as well as his amusement over the American lifestyle.

“So what are your plans from here?” Nes asked as they were driving back to the house.

“Well, I’m a legitimate businessman now,” he said with a smirk, “so Farrow-Marshall will begin some strategic investments and takeovers. We have a few large ventures coming up.”

“And what role would you have me take in these plans?” His hand again found her leg, but she removed it promptly. “I’ve made it clear that I will not simply sit off to the side and watch.”

Ba’al cleared his throat. “Yes, you have. I’m sure I can find a task for you.”

“Legitimate or otherwise.” She gave him a broad smile.

“You do have talents on both sides of the coin, don’t you? Well, your involvement under the name Nesert may be a bit problematic for the time being. Once our efforts are more...public, though…”

“Public?”

“If I’m to take over running Farrow Marshall, I’ll hardly be able to stay invisible. Plus, it will certainly make it more difficult to kill me if I’m well known in your country.”

“True, though I doubt it will provide complete security.”

“Of course not, but some will be enough. Once I’m a public figure, your presence by my side will make things very interesting.” He smiled at her in a way that let her know he would enjoy that type of interesting. “Imagine the rumors with The Butcher on my arm. Or at least a woman who  _ so strongly _ resembles her.”

He winked and Nes smirked as they pulled into the driveway of the house and turned into the garage. Ba’al walked her to her door and tried to follow her into the room, but she put a hand on his chest.

“Today was a momentary weakness which you were not present to take advantage of. My previous requirement still stands.”

“Certainly I can name you my queen, but I’m afraid my territories have been severely diminished as of late.”

She began to play with the lapel of his jacket. “Well, then I suppose we’ll need to renegotiate our terms.”

“My wife then. That’s what humans here do, right?”

“Yes, but you will also involve me in  _ all  _ of your various...operations. Legitimate or otherwise.” She cocked her head to the side. “ _ And _ on Earth or otherwise as well.”

“Of course. You’ve become a valued asset to my rule.”

“Good. Then those are my new terms.”

Ba’al reached out to pull her towards him. “No reason why we can’t...skip ahead a little.”

“And destroy your motivation? No, darling, I think we’ll stick with the agreed upon order.” She kissed him on the cheek before twisting away from his arms.

Ba’al took in a slow breath before releasing a short laugh of frustration. “I’ll start working on the arrangements immediately.”

“Lovely. I’ll contact my lawyer to look over any documents you draw up. You should maybe do a bit of research into prenuptial agreements in this country.” She wanted to let him know she was very serious about the professional side of this relationship, though she had absolutely no interest in his business affairs beyond information in general. She was a spy, but not of the corporate variety.

They said their goodnights and Nes began to prepare for bed, though as she climbed under the covers, she found herself agitated and her mind racing. Too much had changed in just a single day. Lying there thinking wasn’t going to get her any sleep, so she finally threw off the blankets and hunted in the closet for a swimsuit, remembering seeing a pool through one of the back windows. She found a simple tank perfect for laps, grabbed a towel out of her bathroom, and tiptoed barefoot down the long hall and out the first set of patio doors she came to.

The moon was almost full and gave her enough light to cross the lawn; the pool had lamps under the water giving it an ethereal glow. She slid completely under the surface of the warm water, staying down as long as her lungs would allow before coming back up and then began swimming back and forth, relishing in the renewed strength of her body as she moved cleanly and swiftly. Even before Sekhmet, she’d been a good swimmer, but now she was flawless in her form and stamina.

As she reached the far end after dozens of laps, she slowed and put her elbows up onto the edge, breathing hard and relieved that there was no pain associated with the effort.

“Do you always take late night swims?”

Nes’ arms slipped off the edge as she jumped in surprise, but quickly found the Ba’al sitting on the edge of a chaise in front of her. “What  _ is it _ with all of you sneaking up on me?”

“Not all of us, just me.” He smirked towards her and held up his wrist.

“Beta.”

“You wouldn’t forget me so quickly, now would you? Not after the fun we’ve had.”

“Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Same reason you aren’t. The sarcophagus leaves us with  _ so very much _ energy to burn off.” He stood and walked over to her, crouching down. “Perhaps we can help one another with that.”

Nes smiled up at him seductively. “Pick up where we left off, you mean?”

Beta smirked and shrugged. “I could probably be persuaded.”

Nes tilted her head and let her eyes roam over him, finally reaching a hand out for him to take. He smiled and stood, grabbing the offered hand, but instead of allowing him to pull her up out of the pool, she yanked hard downward and ducked as he toppled into the water behind her.

He splashed up to the surface and caught her mischievous grin, quickly swimming over to trap her between himself and the wall. “Funny,” he said as he leaned forward for a kiss.

Nes put a hand up to his mouth. “You’re going to get yourself killed again.”

He pressed his body against hers. “It would be worth it.”

“Except you’ll get me killed, too. I was told no fraternizing with you clones.” She put her hands on his chest to push him away, but he was too strong for her.

“Ba’al would never leave you dead.” He began kissing her neck, letting his hands start to roam and she tried to think of how to at least delay him.

“This isn’t exactly a private location, though.”

“Your room then?”

“The one that is right next to Ba’al’s? No, I don’t think that’d be very wise either.”

“You have houses. We can beam somewhere else.”

“I don’t have my ship anymore.”

“Ba’al has it. And the bracelet you use to transport. I imagine he’ll give it back to you soon.”

That could change things considerably and give her significantly more freedom. “Well, then I suppose you’ll have to be patient for the time being.”

“It might be worth the risk to have you right now.” He kissed her hard, but she pulled back quickly.

“For you maybe, but I would rather enjoy you without the worry of prying eyes or listening ears.”

His arms relaxed as he thought through his options and she used his distraction to duck down under his arms and swim away. When she surfaced, he was chasing after her, but she kicked hard to splash him and reached the edge quickly enough to avoid his attempts to grab her. Once up on the deck, she walked calmly over to her towel, drying off briefly and wrapping it around herself, all while keeping her eyes completely on Beta prowling in the water.

“Goodnight. I hope you’re able to get some sleep. A few laps should help wear you out.”

Nes risked turning her back to him, but kept a brisk pace all the way back into the house, glad to see him still in the water when she turned around with opening the door. She fell into bed, running through various ideas to deal with Beta, and then slept soundly until the light shone in through her windows.

******

In the morning, she slipped on jeans and a tank top and went straight to the kitchen to hunt for a breakfast of some kind, hearing numerous copies of the same voice streaming down the hall. It was still early, but there were six matching faces all gathered around the island, all dressed for different kinds of days: suits, polos, shorts, jeans. Clearly they all had specific roles in this odd little arrangement and she was curious to hear more about how Ba’al had set things up.

“Good morning, boys.” They all turned to look at her, most with a smile. “And who do we have here today? You do make it rather difficult to tell you all apart.”

Nes walked around the island looking at wrists: Iota, Alpha, Epsilon, Theta, Kappa, and Beta, whose other hand rubbed her thigh discreetly as she stood next to him.

“Where’s Ba’al?”

“He had a meeting this morning,” Theta said as he put a scoop of scrambled eggs onto his plate.

“I’m done eating, Sekhmet. Take my seat. Iota cooked this morning.” Kappa (or was the one in shorts Epsilon?) got up from his seat and waited for her to take his spot. She thanked him as he grabbed a clean plate and dished up food for her.

“So what do all of you do all day?” She allowed her more casual Nes personality to dominate, wanting to appear non threatening and trustworthy.

Alpha, in a perfectly tailored suit, eyeballed her suspiciously, but answered anyway. “I run a lot of the daily operations at Farrow-Marshall. Beta and Gamma work within The Trust mostly. Delta has been working on some construction work we have in Seattle. Epsilon has been acquiring various real estate. Zeta and Eta you haven’t met yet, but they’re offworld right now. Theta, Iota, and Kappa are our newest additions and we’re working on assigning them their roles.” He narrowed his eyes. “Does that sum it up nicely for you so you do not have to attempt interrogating us separately?”

“Beautifully. Thank you, Alpha.” She wasn’t sure the reason for his hostility, but hoped it had nothing to do with her swimming partner the night before. She sat quietly as she ate, observing and listening and noting that only Alpha’s eyes fell on her with distrust instead of desire.

She finished eating right around the same time as the first clone and he stood up and directed his eyes to hers. “Sekhmet, may I speak with you before I go?”

“Of course,” she said rather magnanimously as she laid her napkin down and followed him down the hall to the garage.

“Ba’al will be by to get you for lunch.” He looked her over with disdain. “Try to put on something a bit more appropriate for our social status.”

“I think your memories should inform you that I’m more than capable of dressing  _ appropriately _ , Alpha. I’ll be ready.” She began to walk away, but he grabbed her arm.

“I find it genuinely disgusting that I’m forced to feel Ba’al’s desire for you.”

Nes smiled sweetly and stroked his cheek. “And it must be frustrating to not be allowed to do a thing about it.”

Alpha’s eyes flashed and he grabbed her shoulders to push her against the wall, kissing her forcefully. Nes responded without thinking, but it became rapidly clear what Alpha was planning and she began to fight against his strength.

“Just once would probably be enough for me to stop wanting you.”

“Or just make you want me more. Has kissing me like this satisfied you at all?” she asked breathlessly, still straining to be released.

Alpha smirked at her sadistically. “I guess we won’t know until we try,  _ my dear _ .”

Nes began to panic. “Ba’al will kill you. Release me and this little lapse in judgment will be our secret.”

“I don’t think you’ll tell him you’ve been...tainted. He’d blame you as much as me.  _ Especially _ after he saw some rather interesting security footage of your midnight swim with Beta.”

He would blackmail her into silence.

Nes knew her last option would have to be well timed. She waited until his hands were struggling with belts and buckles and buttons before releasing the loudest scream she could muster. Hopefully the other clones were still just down the hall in the kitchen and would come to her aid or at least bear witness that she had not been complicit in any of this. She’d take her chances trying to explain last night to Ba’al.

Alpha slapped her hard to stop the scream before covering her mouth and Nes’ muscles froze as she saw the fury in his eyes. He turned his head to the side looking for something and Nes tried to move her eyes far enough to see what he reached for. She could see various gardening tools, but the footsteps pounding down the hall drew her eyes the other direction.

Alpha released her abruptly and she began to relax that it was over, but the sudden pain in her chest forced her to look down to see a pitchfork sticking out of her body. She looked up to catch Alpha’s eyes, pure enjoyment in them, and he smirked at her as the other clones came rushing through the door.

Alpha leaned forward with a whisper. “I suppose that was fun, too, darling.” He yanked the makeshift weapon out and her body collapsed to the ground amidst the shouting and yelling of the same voice. “Get her into the sarcophagus and clean this up before Ba’al comes back. None of you are to say a word. Let me deal with it.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 9.06 “Ex Deus Machina”

Nes sat up with a scream, grabbing at her chest, but the holes in her shirt didn’t carry through to her body anymore. She was back on the al’kesh, sitting in the sarcophagus, and a Ba’al was leaning against the wall.

“Don’t worry. I’m not Alpha.” He held up his wrist as he walked over to her and she could see a kappa tattoo. “Come on.” Kappa helped her out and rubbed her arms gently. “You shouldn’t have angered Alpha. I have Ba’al’s more current memories, but back when he created the first clones, he was thinking about you quite a bit. We’ve all noticed the change in Alpha and Beta since you arrived. Gamma seems to be a bit more in control, though he deliberately left early this morning to avoid you. Delta...guess we’ll see when he meets you.”

“And the rest of you?”

“We’re all a bit more adjusted to our lives as clones and on Earth. I suppose it’s the normal progression of the memories coming from Ba’al. Alpha and Beta...they seem to struggle with being copies, not being able to have what Ba’al has claimed.”

“And that doesn’t worry Ba’al?”

“They’re still intensely loyal...mostly.” He tilted his head and looked at her. “Everything with you was just still too fresh when they were created, I suppose.”

“But you and the others find me completely unattractive.”

Kappa smirked. “Say the word and I’ll run off with you right now.”

Nes pushed away gently and Kappa didn’t fight her. “You’re all going to get me killed. Again. Permanently.” She rubbed her chest where the wounds had been. “So what now? What will Alpha do?”

“My guess is that he’ll do nothing. I wouldn’t take him on, Sekhmet. Ba’al trusts him.”

Nes nodded, deep in thought. Alpha and Beta would be her greatest threats, then, and she’d have to deal with them sooner rather than later.

“Ba’al will be at the house soon to pick you up. We should get you back.”

Kappa guided her down the hall and then beamed the pair of them down to the house. She walked to her room nervously, even though she’d been assured that Alpha had left for work. Nes changed quickly into a simple pencil skirt and blouse, admiring her natural elegance in the mirror as she did her hair and makeup. She ran through possible scenarios over and over again, but couldn’t decide the best approach. If Ba’al truly trusted Alpha, which certainly seemed to be the case with how much responsibility he’d been given, then Nes may find herself in a simple he-said-she-said situation. And while the other clones had witnessed Alpha kill her, Kappa made it clear that there was some fear of the first copy. They very likely wouldn’t support her side of the story.

Alpha had the video of her with Beta, as well, which complicated things. Enough had happened that he could very easily make it look like things had progressed more than they had and with Ba’al’s jealousy, she wasn’t sure any defense would cut through to his more logical side.

She’d have to play Alpha’s game for now, waiting for an opportunity to establish her own blackmail or eliminate him altogether, but she smiled to her reflection. This could be fun. First she needed Ba’al to hand over her ship, though, and that would be her primary goal for the time being.

******

“Are you hurt, Sekhmet?” Ba’al reached out to take the hand that she’d been subconsciously rubbing along the now healed stab wounds while they sat in a restaurant for lunch.

“Hm?” She looked up from the menu to see a bit of concern on his face. “Oh, no. Just lost in thought.” She smiled to ease the tension.

“About anything in particular?” He kissed her knuckles, his fingers stroking her palm.

She laid the menu down and narrowed her eyes at him. “What if one of your clones starts to believe he would make a better you than  _ you _ ?”

Ba’al chuckled quietly. “Then I would kill him. Do they worry you, my dear?”

“Theoretically, but not specifically.”

“I also have my rooms at the house shielded and each clone was implanted with a locator beacon when he was grown. Plus, there are of course codes and passwords that I alter with each new clone. You remember how good I am at keeping people loyal.”

“Loyal…”

“Well, submissive at the very least.”

“So should I expect that you’ve started poisoning me again?”

He leaned forward to kiss her gently. “Is there a need?”

“There has  _ never  _ been a need.”

“That’s certainly debatable, but I believe you’ve proven that poisoning tends to interfere too heavily with your contributions.”

“Well, at least we can agree on  _ that _ .” Nes folded her hands and gave him a pointed look. “Speaking of interfering with my contributions, I need a ship equipped with beaming technology again. I was confined to Stargate Command for far too long and have various affairs to attend to.”

Ba’al looked her face over critically before nodding. “I have your old tel’tak in my possession along with your bracelet you use to activate the transporter. I will give it back to you...soon.”

Soon was better than never. “Thank you. I can already breathe easier with a bit more freedom.”

“And it goes without saying that--”

“Yes, let’s actually allow it to go without saying,  _ sweetheart _ . I am well aware of any and all requirements and threats you wish to remind me of.”

“Of course, Sekhmet.”

“You really should start calling me Nesert or Nes in public,  _ Emyr _ .”

“Yes. Of course,  _ Nesert _ . I have a meeting with Athena this afternoon if you’d like to accompany me.”

“Very much. It will be so very good to see  _ Charlotte  _ again.”

Ba’al chuckled at her as the waitress arrived to take their orders, but then they spent the rest of their meal gleaning information from one another in obvious subtlety.

******

Athena’s reaction to Nes’ presence was just as expected and hoped for and Nes was pleased to re-establish her authority and rank within Ba’al’s again-growing dominion. Nes found it interesting how quickly Athena left her own position behind her desk for Ba’al to claim. She was playing the dutiful and respectful servant, which explained precisely why Ba’al had so little interest in her as anything but a pitiful lackey. Sekhmet had long known that powerful men had only short term interest in women like Athena, but queens and confidants were created from stronger substance.

“So what’s this about, Athena?” Ba’al leaned back in the chair and clasped his hands in front of him.

“Lord Ba’al, Jameson was taken by a contingent of Jaffa last night. They showed up at the Edison plant when we were finishing cleaning things out, moving them to the compound.”

Nes stepped forward slightly. “I’m sorry.  _ Alex Jameson, _ CFO here?”

She directed her question to Ba’al, but Athena answered, clearly annoyed by Nes’ lack of respect for what she considered a vital role to their operations.

“He was implanted about six months ago along with several other key staff both here and at other companies we’re looking to acquire.”

Nes had to shove down the bile that rose at the thought of so many innocent people having their bodies stolen. “Six months ago...my, my, Ba’al, you  _ have _ been busy, haven’t you?”

Ba’al clenched his jaw and turned his attention back to Athena. “And how did a group of Jaffa locate our operation there?”

“I’m not sure. It’s possible they were able to determine it was a base for The Trust.”

“So now they have Jameson as a prisoner and he’s pathetic enough to reveal everything they want to know.” He slammed a fist onto the desk. “You should have been more careful. Was anything else taken?”

“No, I’m told the plant was almost completely empty when the Jaffa arrived.”

“Is that all?”

Athena looked down at the ground in fear. “His wife has already called the police.”

Ba’al stood abruptly. “Then you should be prepared to cooperate with them fully. Alpha is still gone, correct?”

Nes’ body went the tiniest bit tense, but Athena shifted her eyes to her with a small smirk. “Yes, he was a bit late this morning, but has been at a meeting with Michael Northrup the rest of the day.”

“Has Northrup put everything into place at Hammel?”

“Yes, the right people have been properly... _ persuaded _ .”

Ba’al smiled. “Good. I’ll try to determine what happened to Jameson. Perhaps you can help with that, Sekhmet.”

Nes bowed her head slightly. “Of course, my lord.”

Ba’al stood and came around the desk next to Nes. “Oh, and Athena, now that Sekhmet is back, I won’t be requiring your presence at the opening night gala in a few weeks,” he said quite dismissively. In a male host, he had no concept of what that simple statement had done and it was Nes’ turn to give Athena a smirk.

They had come and gone through the front doors with Alpha off elsewhere, but that meant quite a lot of attention for the company’s future CEO and the woman accompanying him. Nes was too focused on her relief at Alpha’s absence to notice the stares beyond simply mentally acknowledging them, though.

“What gala were you referring to, Ba’al?” she asked once they were back out in the car.

“The Washington National Opera. Once I’m a public figure, I’ll be able to mingle with the elite in less secretive ways.” He lifted her hand to his lips. “And I’ve seen how exquisite you look in a gown. Any thoughts on the jaffa that took Jameson?”

“It’s unfortunate we weren’t able to capture one of them. They must have been sent by the new Jaffa Nation, though. Who else would come after you like this?” Nes knew there was no way Teal’c or the SGC would allow the Jaffa to run an operation on Earth, so it was likely being done in secret. “I suppose as you are the last System Lord, capturing you would certainly be desirable, especially to any jaffa looking to gain political power within their new system.”

“Ah, power. It’s really the reason for anyone doing anything, isn’t it?”

Nes outwardly and inwardly agreed with him, but memories of those at the SGC challenged the assertion for her. In her world, with the company she currently kept, it was absolutely true, but was it true for _ her _ ? That was the big question.

“Speaking of power,” he continued, “I’m assuming you’ve spent quite a bit of time in this area of the country.”

Nes barely held back the sigh. “Yes. And speaking of  _ that _ , I’ll be relocating to one of my houses before you go public.”

“I would prefer to keep you close at hand,  _ Nesert _ ,” he said, putting a sharp edge on her name.

“It would be more respectable for me to live elsewhere,  _ Emyr _ . I have been on this planet much longer than you and I will appear more on your level socially if I am independent enough to have my own home and wealth.”

Ba’al pursed his lips in thought for a few moments. “Fine. When will you leave?”

“Tonight, I think.” She had easily snuck off to find a phone while they were out at dinner the night before and made the necessary arrangements.

“You do not like the clones,” he said with a smile.

She shrugged casually. “They make me...uncomfortable. I would prefer to simply interact with you.” She placed a hand high on his leg. “Besides, I’m not sure  _ your _ jealous nature will tolerate  _ their _ jealous natures. Fortunately for you, though, I have a house about twenty minutes away on the river and you’ll be more than welcome to visit--” he took hold of her hand “--during daylight hours.”

Ba’al chuckled. “Very well, but being a gracious god, I will allow you to change your mind on the hours of my visits.”

“How kind of you.”

Ba’al drove them out a bit further to a rather heavily guarded compound just outside of town where Nes assumed The Trust had their headquarters. Ba’al was easily verified and then the underground parking allowed them to enter undetected. Up just a few flights of stairs had them in a room filled with computers and screens and operatives monitoring various situations

Ba’al leaned over to whisper into her ear. “These humans do not know about me or my clones, my dear.”

Nes nodded ever so slightly and then resumed her observations of the room’s activities. From initial glances, there were screens monitoring various government agencies, a few embassies she recognized, and supposedly secure communication networks. They were in deeper than anyone realized, even her. Athena had kept quite a bit from her when she’d first begun setting herself up in their system.

“Has there been anything out of Stargate Command to indicate they were aware of the attack?”

Ba’al walked over to a woman and placed a hand on her shoulder. “What’s been coming out of the SGC the last few days?”

She looked up in surprise, but regained her composure quickly. “Nothing in regards to any activities on Earth other than Colonel Carter returning to the SGC again.”

Nes hid her smile. She knew Sam would never be able to stay away.

“And the NID?”

A man next to the first woman chimed in. “Nothing from them either.”

“Keep me updated on anything that seems pertinent. I want to know the moment anything is said.”

“Yes, sir.”

Nes raised her eyebrows in surprise and smiled at how Ba’al must be dealing with the change from ‘lord’ to ‘sir’ these days. Quite a demotion for him.

Ba’al guided her up a few floors to a room that had even more intense security measures and once inside she could see why. It was full of Goa’uld technology and he quickly dispatched a few messages to Zeta in the Archeva system and Eta in the Risa system, asking if they had any information on who was behind the attack.

Now it was a waiting game and Nes suggested he help her get settled into her house as a distraction, a dangerous move on her part potentially, but it was still a better situation than his own home surrounded by look-alikes.

They crossed over the Potomac and as they finally pulled into her driveway, he noted its nearness to CIA headquarters and Nes simply gave him a smirk of acknowledgement. That had been precisely why Sekhmet had acquired that land and built the house. With it being just two miles away, the various monitoring devices she’d planted over the years were easily accessible, though Nes had no plans of allowing Ba’al access to the secret rooms buried beneath the known structure of the house.

Tonight, after he left, she would spend a few hours working on the persona she planned to keep attached to her Nesert name. She knew the SGC had already done some work on it for her time at Princeton, but she would update and fill it out a bit more, giving her the necessary skills, titles, and background to stand alongside Ba’al as he climbed the social ladder.

Nes directed Ba’al to the front door while she went around to a side door of the garage to punch in the access code. The house was just as beautiful as she remembered with its Mediterranean charm and curves, but now she noticed how the kitchen needed updating and the furnishings were looking rather dated. She’d stayed more frequently in DC than out here, only stopping in when she needed deeper access to CIA databases and never lingering long enough to care about the dimly lit rooms.

She went to the front door to let Ba’al in with a smile and apologized for the home’s appearance.

“I’m afraid it needs quite a bit of renovating on the interior, but it hasn’t been a concern of mine as of late. I do love the view, though,” she said as she guided Ba’al through the living room and down the stairs into the river room where the Potomac stretched below them, the view only slightly blocked by the foliage still green on the trees.

“It’s quite lovely, very peaceful,” Ba’al said as he looked out the curved windows. “Will I get the grand tour?”

Nes smiled and had him follow her through the various rooms. The living and dining rooms were fairly self explanatory with the domed ceiling and a large fireplace she’d had dismantled in Europe and imported to be reassembled. Down the hall was her library, suite, and an extra bedroom. Ba’al tried to linger in those rooms, but Nes moved quickly back to the main part of the house. She showed him a third bedroom and then went past the kitchen to the indoor lap pool and last bedroom near the garage. The terrace was the showstopper, though, with its stonework and private views. Sekhmet had thrown many a party out on this terrace as well as spent lonely evenings watching the water below.

“I don’t think I want to take on any remodeling just now, but new furniture is certainly in order,” she commented as they returned inside. “Would you like to eat in or out?”

“That depends. Will eating in only lead to you torturing me for the evening?”

“Well, the neighbors are far enough away that they wouldn’t hear your screams...or were you speaking of a different type of torture?” She smirked at him as he smiled.

“I was alluding more to the torture of your insistence on patience from me.”

“Ah! Well, in that case, yes, there will be plenty more of that if we stay in for the evening. Let me change quickly and we can go out.” He tried to grab her as she walked past, but she dodged his arms with a teasing smile and laugh. She would need to be very careful, enjoying his playful side far too much.

He was so much more relaxed on Earth and she knew some of that was because of her. Sekhmet had become very human in her mannerisms over her centuries here, able to shift into formality when required, but preferring the increasingly casual interactions that Americans had established more recently. Nes certainly appreciated it as well and allowed it to come out more as she and Ba’al became more familiar with one another.

Their relationship was a complex one, where they’d both tortured and killed one another, but also supported each other during trials. They’d worked together toward common goals and separately on their own agendas, shared information and kept secrets, trusted and been suspicious. It was all getting muddled here on Earth, though, feeling more real and less dangerous when surrounded by the normality of human life, wearing jeans instead of royal attire.

It would get harder and harder to remember who he was and wasn’t, who she was and wasn’t. She wasn’t kissing him but his host, who had no say in the matter, but that was so quickly forgotten when he held her, when he wanted her, when she was so desperate for human contact.

Still, she needed to fully establish herself by his side first. It was no guarantee of his faithfulness or loyalty, but it was the best that could be done under the circumstances. Gaining power was easy, but she wanted to make sure she’d be capable of maintaining it once it had been acquired.

Nes didn’t let Ba’al come in after dinner, sending him home to his clones, though it was very likely she’d sent him off to Athena or whoever else he had waiting for him in the wings as a distraction. She couldn’t think about that right now. She needed to focus on her work that evening hacking into the CIA systems.

By morning, her fake parents were considerably richer than they had been a few years prior, she had her PhD in astrophysics, and she was employed as a consultant by Farrow-Marshall, though she needed to clear her position with Ba’al first. She hated looking over the facade of her life, disgusted by the lack of reality even more lately.

At least she had her health and strength back.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 9.06 “Ex Deus Machina”

Nes woke early even though she’d been up late, but as she’d been in the sarcophagus twice in two days, she still had plenty of energy. When she considered the possibility of living in the house more long term, she quickly made the decision to contact her management company to do some remodeling. She couldn't stand the kitchen as it was. Or the bathroom. She’d simply grown too accustomed to luxury to tolerate things that should have been gutted a decade earlier. Plus, the work being done would potentially provide justifiable escapes whenever she required them.

Before lunch, a designer had been hired and Nes was given top priority among their clients, with the contractors starting demo that afternoon.

Money always had a way of doing that.

Her vehicle choice this time was a silver Jaguar. A bit flashy, but not ostentatious and she knew it would add to her background of wealth and education and culture. She drove herself to The Trust compound, but was stopped at the gate by some very angry looking guards. She told them to give her name to Mr. Kagan, though, and soon she was waved on and greeted in the parking garage by a Ba’al wearing a pinstripe suit and yellow tie who smirked at her in a way that made her blood go cold.

It could only be Alpha.

Nes hesitated as their eyes locked and she felt her feet slow as they urged her to return to her car, to safety. She wasn’t going to let him see any fear, though, and resumed her pace directly towards him.

“Alpha,” she nodded to him as she passed by, inwardly tensing as she grew close enough for him to grab hold of her if he so chose.

“Sekhmet. Your health seems to have improved since yesterday morning,” he said as he fell in step behind her.

“Considerably.” She kept her shoulders back and her steps deliberate, but didn’t swing her hips in her usual manner. She now knew better than to taunt him when they were alone. “Any updates on Jameson or the jaffa who attacked?”

“Someone discovered the body of a jaffa in the woods not too far away from the Edison plant, one of Yu’s old warriors. Seems he may have been hit by a car.” He chuckled. “Those humans were probably very surprised.”

She smiled as well at the thought. “Gerak of the Jaffa High Council commands the loyalty of most of those who had belonged to Yu, correct?”

“Yes, so we can likely assume that he was behind the attack. And that seems to be the thought process of the SGC as well. The Shol’va is planning to confront Gerak about it.”

“So it’s very possible that Gerak has Jameson. That could be problematic.”

“It also appears that the SGC is interested in the Edison plant, looking into its connection with Farrow-Marshall.”

“How lovely. And the police?”

“We’re indicating he may have been having an affair.”

“Plans?”

“Nothing as of yet. Ba’al should be beaming in upstairs shortly.”

Alpha finally grabbed hold of her arm, but Nes remained facing away from him. He wouldn’t attack her here, not with Ba’al on the way, not with operatives just down the hall.

“You were wise to keep silent.”

“Ba’al has killed me before, as you well know. I’m not always opposed to displays of strength when I survive them.” If she wanted to eliminate him as a threat, she’d first need to gain his trust enough to get him alone in a situation that  _ she _ controlled.

“You should have just let me have my way.”

“I still may, but not now and certainly not here.” The offer would be far too tempting even if he suspected it were a trap. “Perhaps you should focus more on the crisis at hand for the time being.”

Alpha leaned closer. “I’d be able to focus more clearly after even a single night. Then you can return to Ba’al without him ever being the wiser.”

“And when would you even have the time? It seems you’re kept quite busy.”

He pushed her gently against the wall. “I could come by tonight.”

“Ba’al will be there tonight.” She breathed slowly to keep herself calm.

“But you won’t let him stay, will you?”

Nes shrugged. “He’s rather persuasive, you know.”

“Let  _ me _ be persuasive.” He kissed her neck and her stomach churned as she thought of his grin when he’d killed her, but she sighed slowly as if she were enjoying his attention, letting her body move towards his.

“You have a locator beacon. He’ll see.”

“I don’t. He didn’t start placing the beacons until Gamma and Delta. I’ll tell him I have to work on the Hammel acquisition late at the office and come by after he leaves.”

“Do not get us caught.”

“Of course not.” He kissed her in a way too similar to the previous morning and then released her.

He began to walk away, but Nes grabbed his wrist and flipped it towards her to see his tattoo. It was an alpha and she smirked at him. “Just checking.”

They continued upstairs as if nothing had happened and met Ba’al in the high security room she’d visited before.

“Colonel Carter and Dr. Jackson are both planning trips to Bethesda. Colonel Carter will be visiting Farrow-Marshall and Dr. Jackson has arranged a meeting with Jameson’s wife. Alpha, go the offices and make sure Athena knows how to handle the colonel.”

Alpha nodded and left, not even risking a glance at Nes as he exited the room.

“You might want to make sure you’re not seen by either of them,” Ba’al said as he came forward to give her a brief kiss.

“Nor you, but I am quite capable of being seen and no one being the wiser. If you will allow, I believe I could go hear what Jameson’s wife has to say to Dr. Jackson.”

Ba’al narrowed his eyes. He’d seen her change personalities, but he hadn’t witnessed how well she could disguise herself physically as well. Finally he gave her a quick nod of assent. “Tapped communications show he’s meeting her at someplace called Joe’s Diner.” His disgust was apparent as he handed her the file containing the address as well a picture of Mrs. Jameson.

“I’ll report back afterwards.” Nes gave him a quick peck and left. She had very little time to get back to her house and change before heading to the diner and she would need to hurry.

Arriving at her house, she walked straight back to her bedroom and into the closet where she shoved clothes off to the side revealing a still very ordinary looking wall. Touching the knots of the wood paneling in the proper order allowed the hidden door to release, opening to a narrow spiral staircase leading downward.

When the house had been built, there had been talk of it being cursed with how many of the workers had disappeared or turned up dead, but the goa’uld had made sure that the secret of her hidden rooms was kept, even if that meant the secret holders took it to early graves.

The first room had a low ceiling, but three of the four walls had counters to hold various computers and goa’uld technology. This was where the CIA became an open book for her. She passed by this, though, and moved to the second room, which contained clothing, wigs, disguises, and such. The third room was mostly storage, as well as forged and real documents, money, and items from previous hosts, and the fourth room had a sloped floor, drain, and a single chair.

Daniel knew Nes well enough that a disguise obscuring her natural features was necessary. She twisted her hair up to cover it with a short black bob, found a pair of glasses that were more out of style than in, and assembled an outfit that gave the clear message that she simply wasn’t that stylish. People would see her and move on and Daniel, with his focus so clearly on his goals, would not even look at her twice. She was as good as invisible.

Nes drove into town, but parked a few blocks from the diner, walking the rest of the way so the Jaguar didn’t draw any attention. It was easy to linger across the street on a bench watching, pretending to read a book. Mrs. Jameson was the first to appear, wringing her hands and shifting her weight as she stood. Daniel arrived in a cab moments later and Nes waited until they made their introductions and headed inside before she ventured in as well.

The restaurant was crowded, but not so much that Nes wasn’t able to get herself positioned in a booth nearby to eavesdrop. Daniel went up to the counter to get two cups of coffee for the pair and then grabbed a seat opposite Mrs. Jameson.

“ **It was about six months ago when he started acting strangely,** ” she began.

So the goa’uld who took him as a host wasn’t all that great at deception. It had been a foolish choice by Ba’al.

“ **What do you mean, ‘strangely’?** ”

“ **Cold. Distant. You've gotta understand, Alex has always been incredibly focused when it comes to his job. And at first I just assumed he had a lot on his plate. But after a couple of weeks, it became clear that it was more than that. I started to suspect he might be having an affair…** ” Her voice shifted to shame. “ **...so I hired a private investigator, and I had him followed.** ”

“ **And…what did the investigator find out?** ”

“ **I'm not sure, exactly, but a couple of days after accepting the job, he quit, returned all of my money and strongly suggested that I drop the matter.** ”

“ **He didn't offer you any kind of explanation?** ” Daniel was very clearly confused by this revelation.

“ **No, but it was obvious he was scared. He did some surveillance in his first two days. These are the photos that he took** .” She handed Daniel a manila envelope and he pulled out a stack of photos.

“ **He asked for them back after a couple of days...after he dropped the case, but I refused. I offered them to the police, but they didn't think the photos were pertinent to their investigation. My husband wasn't having an affair, but he was clearly involved in something that he wanted to keep secret.** ”

Nes wanted to get a look, so she casually got up from her seat and walked slowly past their booth sneaking a glance. The photos were of various men all standing in a parking lot, but Nes couldn’t see well enough to identify any of them beyond Jameson himself.

“ **Do you mind if we hold on to these?** ”

“ **No, go ahead.** ”

Nes lingered after Daniel and Mrs. Jameson left, but then made her way back to her car, where she had a change of clothes, and drove over to the compound. With the photos and the SGC likely suspecting a connection to The Trust, the place to go for that information would be Kerry Johnson, a CIA agent who had been investigating connections between the NID and The Trust, as well as attempting to track down those who had been taken as goa’uld hosts. Nes had been monitoring her work for a while now whenever she’d been back on Earth, so all she’d have to do is wait and see.

Alpha had reported in that Colonel Carter had been by and already left, but seemed very unconvinced by Athena’s excuses, which was no surprise to Nes. Sam was far too smart and her instincts far too good to believe a woman like Charlotte Mayfield. This would only be the beginning of the SGC’s investigation into Farrow-Marshall and any other companies they were connected to.

“Ba’al, I need to head back to my house to deal with some contractors.”

“You decided to do some work on the house after all?”

“Of course, but it should go quickly with the money I’m paying them.”

Ba’al let her know he would pick her up for dinner at seven sharp and Nes was glad she would have plenty of time for her preparations for the rest of the evening she had planned.

******

Dinner with Ba’al was enjoyable, though he wasn’t pleased to hear that her spying did reveal that Dr. Jackson had in fact contacted the CIA and dug up the identities of the men in the pictures he’d gotten from Mrs. Jameson. They were all businessmen that Ba’al and The Trust had implanted in recent months and now that the business connections had been established with Farrow-Marshall, they’d all be under increased scrutiny. His frustration meant it took quite a bit of convincing to make him leave after dropping her off at her house, but he was only impatient, not suspicious. Once he finally left, she wrapped up a few last minute details and waited for Alpha to arrive.

He didn’t make her wait long and when she opened the door, he immediately held up his wrist to confirm his identity to her, then gave her a smile that would have been charming without their history. Nes looked behind him to see a cab driving away, grateful he was smart enough to not leave his car parked outside her house.

“And how are you tonight, Sekhmet?” he asked as he moved into the foyer.

“Uninterested in small talk.” She slammed the door behind her and grabbed the front of his shirt to pull him into a kiss. Alpha responded with such intense hunger, Nes momentarily forgot her goals and who she was with, but when he pushed her against the wall, the memories from the garage flooded back and she regained her focus.

She pointed down the hall and told him where her room was and he was quick to pick her up and carry her, not wanting to waste any time. Now that he’d moved himself the majority of the way, it was as simple as twisting the ring she’d copied from the Tok’ra (though she’d filled it with her own concoction instead of the Reole chemical) and scratching the back of Alpha’s neck.

He reached back in pain. “What was that?”

Nes kept her face innocent and confused. “What was what?” She tried to pull him back down into a kiss, but he resisted.

“Something scratched me.”

Nes looked at her hands. “Oh! My ring! I’ll just take it off.” She pulled the ring off and then stretched over to the nightstand to set it down, making sure to push her body against his as a distraction.

He dragged her across the bed and back underneath him, but soon pulled back to look at her, his eyes starting to droop.

“What did you do to me?” he asked as his words began to slur, his head struggling to stay up, but eventually the drug overwhelmed his system and he was unconscious.

“Fool.”

Nes dragged Alpha to the closet and then down the spiral staircase to the last room where she chained him to the chair that she’d bolted to the floor. He was stronger than the room’s usual guests and she’d made sure to make special accommodations.

He woke up slowly as his symbiote processed the drug, still faster than ordinary humans she’d used the mixture on in the past, but it had lasted long enough and that was all that mattered.

Nes had pulled in a chair from the first room so she could watch him more comfortably. As his eyes opened and focused on his captor, they flashed in anger. She gave him one of Sekhmet’s most sinister smirks and then, as he struggled against his restraints, she laughed quietly and stood to move closer.

“You had to have known this would be a trap, Alpha.” She ran her finger down his jaw and leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips.

“I assumed you would have Ba’al catch us, try to blame me.”

“And so you made sure he was kept busy, correct? Maybe had Athena occupy his night?”

Alpha grit his teeth, but didn’t answer which was as good as admitting she was exactly right.

“Ba’al will notice I’m gone.”

“Well, of course he will. He’s not stupid, but do you think he’ll come running  _ here _ to find you? No,  _ my dear _ .”

Nes went over to the small table holding her knives and picked up a small one that she could use up close, inspecting its blade simply for show. It was already perfectly sharpened.

Nes sat down on Alpha’s lap, facing him, and began unbuttoning his shirt. “I am going to enjoy taking my time with you.” She kissed his neck. “I’ve had to be content with humans for far too long and they die so very quickly, but you...you will be so much more...amusing. You’ll be my pet for as long as I can make you last.”

“Or you could release me and then the two of us can team up against Ba’al. He will never appreciate you the way I will...now...and I’m sure I can amuse you in so many other ways.”

Nes pulled open his shirt and then let the knife drag across his chest, putting enough pressure to begin drawing blood, and he winced from the pain. “And what makes you think I care whether or not Ba’al appreciates me?”

“You want power, then. I could give that to you.”

“I don’t want power.” She began to carve Ba’al’s symbol into Alpha’s chest. “You’re missing too much information to understand my motivations, darling.”

“Enlighten me then,” he said through a clenched jaw.

“Not...just...yet.” She tapped his nose playfully. “Perhaps I’ll tell you before I kill you. I haven’t decided.”

She began to torture him more earnestly then, drinking in every scream and wishing he weren’t just a copy, though his own sins against her just in their day-long acquaintance more than justified anything and everything she planned to do to him.

A few hours in, an alarm sounded, letting her know someone had pulled into the long driveway and she moved quickly over to the security monitors of the first room.

It was Ba’al’s car. What on earth was he doing here?

She practically ran up the stairs, throwing the bloody clothing off as she went. Alpha began yelling but as soon as she closed the hidden door, silence ruled the house again. Sekhmet had thrown parties before while a victim was below screaming and no one had ever even heard a raised voice.

Nes grabbed a swimsuit from the closet and quickly looked in the mirror for any blood on her face or arms. She rinsed off a few spots and then bolted down the hall and threw herself into the pool. The doorbell began ringing soon after, but she ignored it for a bit, doing a few laps first. Ba’al moved on to knocking on the door, which she still ignored, knowing he would come around the house to the terrace next. He had become too predictable in many ways.

Just as she expected, a banging on the side door got her attention and she popped her head out of the water with a scared expression. At the sight of Ba’al, she jumped out of the water and opened the door.

“Ba’al! What’s going on?”

His eyes looked over her for a moment before he found his focus again. “The jaffa brought a cargo ship and attacked Farrow-Marshall headquarters, took out a dozen or so Trust operatives, and we think they took Alpha.”

“What were you all doing there?”

“I received word from a spy that Jameson  _ had _ been captured by Gerak and revealed my location as well as the locations of many of our shelters. We were trying to eliminate some data from the computer system before they attacked.”

“And they took Alpha?”

“Likely. He said he was heading there to work on the Hammel acquisition, but we couldn’t find him after the attack.”

“He has a locator beacon, though. You can track him, can’t you?”

Ba’al sighed. “No. He and Beta were never implanted.”

Nes had to work hard to keep the smirk off her face. This was better than she could have hoped for. The jaffa would take the blame, Alpha really did not have a locator beacon, and she could take as much time with him as she wanted. She could barely wait to head back downstairs to celebrate her good fortune.

Nes grabbed a towel to wrap around herself as she thought. “They must have a larger ship nearby if they came in a cargo ship. You could have your jaffa aboard the al’kesh poke around a bit, see if they can find any hiding.”

“Yes, I’ve already asked them to investigate.”

“On the bright side...if they have Alpha, they’ll assume you’re dead. Providing he doesn’t reveal that he’s a clone, though I doubt they’d see that as anything but a stalling tactic anyway.”

Ba’al’s face contorted in anger. “Alpha was incredibly valuable to my rule, Sekhmet.”

“Of course, my dear, but you will be fine without him. He was just a clone. You have more of them. Their main role is protect you, the original, and Alpha’s capture will hopefully do just that.”

Ba’al ran his hand through his hair in frustration, so Nes finally guided him to the kitchen for a drink, stuffing down her own frustration over her night being disrupted. As she expected, after a glass of wine, he wanted other ways to console himself, but she stayed firm in her resolve. It helped that she would have other ways to amuse herself once he left.

Alpha was struggling against his restraints when she returned to him, his wrists bleeding from the chains, and his eyes flashed when he saw her leaning against the doorway.

“You won’t believe the good luck I’ve had.” She grabbed a different knife with a jagged blade and came toward him. “The jaffa attacked Farrow-Marshall and they couldn’t find you afterwards so you  _ must _ have been captured. Well done, my dear.”

“They’ll find out eventually that Gerak doesn’t have me.”

“Yes, but I’ll have dealt with you long before eventually comes.”

“There must be something I can offer you for my life.”

Nes ran her hand through his hair. “Are you already at the point of begging, Alpha? We’ve barely even started.” She pulled his head back and let the knife lightly skim across his neck.

He swallowed hard, but kept his eyes on her. “I’m merely trying to figure out what you want, what you need. I’m more valuable to you alive.”

“You’re not valuable to me at all. You’re a copy and all of you will give me the pleasure of killing Ba’al over and over and over while still using him as I see fit.”

He gave her a seductive smile. “Why not use me in other ways? You can keep Ba’al waiting indefinitely if you have me here.”

“Tempting...but we both know the moment I released you, you’d kill me. You’ve already shown you have no hesitations in doing that.”

“I’m sure we can come to some kind of arrangement.”

“Maybe I’ll use Beta for that. He’s been just as willing, though he managed to not kill me when I resisted his advances.”

“Because he doesn’t want you as  _ badly _ as I do.”

“I simply have no interest in someone who only wants me for a night so he can focus on other things.” She plunged the knife into his arm and he hollered in pain. “I think we’re done talking now.”

Nes continued on for another hour or so before she grew weary and Alpha was struggling to stay conscious. She healed a few of the larger wounds, but left the smaller ones for him to deal with himself. In his current state of weakness, she was reminded that she was torturing his host as well, but she knew if their roles had been reversed, she would have welcomed the torture and death simply to escape the prison inflicted on her by Sekhmet.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 9.06 “Ex Deus Machina”

In the morning, Nes brought her coffee downstairs as well as some water for Alpha. She certainly didn’t want him to die from dehydration.

“Good morning, Alpha. How are you this morning?”

He groaned in response, but took some water when she brought the glass to his lips.

“I thought we’d have a morning session and then you can rest while I go out for a while, check on the state of things and such, but don’t worry, I’ll be back later to continue.”

He found enough energy to jerk forward against his restraints in rage and he shifted into his goa’uld voice. “Let me go, Sekhmet.”

“I have absolutely no reason in the world to do that. And call me Nesert or Nes. It just feels more...intimate.”

From there, she stopped only when she needed a refill of coffee and by the time Alpha had had enough, it was about time for the contractors to arrive, so she went to clean herself up. They’d already made quite a bit of progress on the kitchen the day before with tearing out the dated cabinetry and appliances. While normally she would do all custom work, for the sake of speed, she’d lessened her standards this time, knowing she could have it all redone when it was more convenient.

The contractors were completely professional, used to working with higher end clientele, and she had no concerns that they would go snooping around the house, though they wouldn’t find anything even if they did. The designer arrived to supervise and clear a few decisions and then Nes finished getting herself ready before heading to the compound to find out the situation with Ba’al.

Ba’al greeted her down in the main monitoring room, wearing the same suit Alpha had worn the previous day. They must have multiples of outfits to cause even further confusion. He leaned over to her ear to whisper. “You look...invigorated, my dear.”

“I slept  _ very  _ well.”

Ba’al gave her a stern look. “Alone?”

“Of course,” she said quietly. “Why would I have someone else when I could have you?”

He looked skeptical, but didn’t push the topic. “Alpha is still missing. No one has seen him since he left for headquarters last night, but security says they never saw him arrive. So far, my spies offworld haven’t heard anything, either, which seems odd.”

Shit.

“Yes, I would expect they’d be quick to claim your capture.” She paused in thought. “Was he seeing anyone?”

“Seeing anyone?”

“An American expression. Was he involved romantically...or simply physically with anyone? Maybe one of the women here or at Farrow-Marshall? Perhaps he just hasn’t come home yet from a little rendezvous.”

Ba’al narrowed his eyes at her.  _ There _ was the suspicion. He grabbed her arm and ushered her out of the room and into the hall. “What  _ were _ you doing up so late last night?”

“If you must know, you’re not the only one struggling with patience. I went for a swim to deal with some of the...pent up energy.”

“This is absurd. Were you with Alpha last night or not?”

“Most certainly not. Your clones make me...uncomfortable. I have no wish to be around them anymore than is absolutely necessary.”

He brought a hand up to her throat. “And how am I supposed to trust you?”

Nes took a long slow breath. “You will simply have to trust that it would be foolish to betray you for one night with a copy and I am far from foolish.” She moved her hands up his chest. “Ba’al…”

He finally let his hand move to the back of her neck to pull her into a kiss. “If I find any evidence that suggests otherwise, I will kill you myself. Over and over again.”

She smiled sweetly. “I would expect nothing less.”

They continued to monitor communications of the SGC and the NID, as well as Ba’al’s offworld spies. There was nothing about Alpha’s capture and Ba’al finally decided he could wait no longer. Nes stood behind the camera watching his performance as he recorded a video to be sent to Stargate Command.

“ **Although it's a far cry from some of the better worlds I've conquered in my days, this planet is not without its charms. In retrospect, I'm actually glad we never succeeded in destroying it.** ”

His jaunty mannerisms made Nes smile as she watched.

“ **That said, Earth is not without its drawbacks. The foremost being an** **_alarming_ ** **lack of privacy. My ships have been seized, my armies vanquished. I no longer present a threat to this galaxy.** ”

Nes barely held back a chuckle with that obvious lie.

“ **All I ask is to be left alone without having to worry about you, the Jaffa, or any of my former enemies coming after me, so…I'd like to offer the following deal: allow me to live out the rest of my days here on Earth in peace without interference. In exchange for my…freedom, I will follow your laws. You will never have cause to fear me again. I hope we can put the past behind us. I…certainly have no desire to harm you or anyone else on this world.”**

Such brazen lies! Stargate Command would never believe him. They would never simply let him be. Surely he wasn’t this foolish.

He paused, smirking slightly.  **“That said, you should know that I've placed a naquadah bomb somewhere in the United States. Consider it a…precautionary measure.** ” He shifted into a more commanding tone. **“If another attempt is made to capture me, I promise you, the consequences will be most dire.** ”

The naquadah bomb was news to Nes and fear rose up as she waited for him to finish up so she could find out if it was a bluff or not.

“You never mentioned a bomb,” she said as they walked down the hall.

“It must have slipped my mind.”

“You actually have a bomb then?”

“Of course. I have no need for deception there.”

“And? Where is it?”

“No need for you to worry about it, my dear. Hopefully I will never have cause to use it.”

His condescending tone irritated her immensely, but she had to play the game with him, demonstrating trust that did not exist. A phone call from the interior designer gave her the excuse she needed to head back to her house with a promise of dinner later on. It didn’t take long to sort out a few more questions the crew had and then dismiss them for the day. She wanted some time with Alpha before Ba’al came to pick her up.

She brought water and food with her, wanting to maintain his strength, and he was hungry and thirsty enough to accept her gifts, even knowing it would lengthen his torture.

“I don’t have time for much right now,” she said as she picked up a knife, “but I’ll be back tonight so rest up.” Even a half hour of his screams was enjoyable and she looked forward to dinner, having worked up quite an appetite.

She was more affectionate with Ba’al that evening, Alpha’s screams still fresh in her memory, but when she felt tempted to establish his trust more concretely, she reminded herself that the timing would certainly increase, not decrease, his suspicion and held back.

Besides, Alpha would be back at the house waiting for her.

Again, she spent a large portion of the night pulling screams from her prisoner as he weakened, but she began to pity his host more and more and finally went to bed laden with guilt. She woke early, though, and found Alpha was strong enough again to remind her why she had so enjoyed the previous nights with him. Too soon she again forgot almost completely about his host, Alpha’s own personality far too dominant.

Ba’al had decided to keep on schedule with the Hammel acquisition and press conference, though he personally would be off somewhere safe, unsurprisingly. He was management after all and knew how to delegate. This would have been Alpha’s job, but with him still missing, Kappa had stepped in with ease, as he had been learning the businesses to assist Alpha since his creation.

Nes asked to accompany Kappa, seeing it as the perfect opportunity for Stargate Command to see what she was up to. Hopefully, the information she then passed on to them would be accepted as truthful or at the very least, they would know she was in a position to obtain such data. She couldn’t do much about how they perceived her loyalties.

Ba’al had taken a few steps to confuse his enemies, sending a few clones out around town - at least one of whom met with one of the men pictured in the photographs from Jameson’s wife. Those businessmen were likely being watched so hopefully they would lead straight to a clone, right around the same time Kappa was on live television. With no knowledge of the multiple Ba’al clones yet, it would at least give the SGC and the NID pause over who was who. Nes had to commend him for his strategic planning.

Nes entered with Kappa and Michael Northrup, but kept off to the side, ignoring the technical details and focusing on the crowd which, to her trained eyes, appeared to be completely devoid of anyone but genuine reporters. Kappa handled himself exactly as Ba’al would have and she couldn’t help but be impressed with how he held the attention of the crowd so completely, how entirely human he seemed.

“ **Thank you, that's a very good question. My acquisition of Hammel Technologies and its subsidiaries is just a first step in a long-range venture that will ultimately see a...a consolidation and a...a streamlining of what is presently a dissolute market.** ” He smiled gently. “ **No doubt, most of you have never heard of me before today. Well, I can assure you that over the next few months, you will all get to know me** ** _very well_** **, and I look forward to it.** ”

He ended the press conference on that note and stepped off the platform to put a hand on the small of her back as they moved outside to the waiting vehicles. She saw the photographer across the street trying to appear casual and looked directly into the lense with a stoic face. She made sure there was nothing of Sekhmet in her features just for those few moments before resuming the facade. Surely that picture would get back to the SGC at some point.

“How did I do?” Kappa had continued his role even after they’d gotten into the town car and kept her hand in his.

“Excellently. You were confident, but personable, and I expect they are anxious to dig into Emyr’s background once they get back to their desks.”

“And how are you since that incident a few days ago?” He squeezed her hand.

A somewhat dreamy smile passed over her face as she thought of Alpha’s screams. “Quite well, actually.”

Kappa leaned over to her ear. “You have him, don’t you?”

“Have who?” She was complete innocence.

Kappa simply leaned back with a smile and she wondered if he wasn’t secretly happy to have Alpha gone and out of his way. He’d been given a significant promotion with the disappearance of the primary clone and Alpha had clearly controlled the rest of them rather cruelly.

He confirmed her suspicions by putting his arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek. “Thank you, my dear.”

“For being by your side today?” she asked with just a hint of a smirk.

“Of course.”

They drove straight back to the compound, not even attempting to stop anyone from tracking them. Nes felt Kappa was being far too overconfident that the SGC or NID wouldn’t attack, but kept silent for the moment. Athena and Beta greeted them in the hall and Nes raised her eyebrows at the complete openness about the clones in front of the The Trust operatives. She was informed, though, that those working today were ones who were aware of the goa’uld infiltration, many of whom had been taken as hosts to symbiotes loyal to Ba’al.

Athena went to monitor earth communications while Nes and the clones made their way upstairs to check on any activity offworld. Things were mostly silent, which made them think it was likely another jaffa attack was imminent.

“I’m beginning to be rather annoyed by these  _ free _ jaffa,” Beta commented.

Nes released one of Sekhmet’s sadistic laughs. “Their **freedom will be short-lived** . They  **were born slaves** and  **slaves** they **will die.** ”

Beta smirked in appreciation toward her. “Well said, my dear.”

Kappa left to check on Athena downstairs, and Beta was quick to pull her into a kiss as soon as the door closed behind the newer clone.

“No surveillance cameras in this room,” he said as he leaned her against one of the desks.

“I expect Kappa will be back shortly.”

“I’m sure we can use our time wisely, though.” Beta’s hands found the hem of her skirt, but Nes grabbed both of his wrists before they made too much progress.

“There certainly isn’t time for all of that. At least not any quality work.”

Beta smirked, but moved his hands to her waist and tried to make himself content with simply kissing her. It didn’t take him long to move a few things on the desk behind her so he could lay her back, though. “Just like on Asdad.”

“And we’ll be interrupted soon here, as well.”

“It will only be Kappa.”

Clearly Beta didn’t see the newest clone as any type of threat, but she was suspecting more and more that he was being underestimated.

They had too little notice between the sound of the security code being entered and the door opening, but Beta at least managed to pull her upright. Kappa took in the scene with a cool collected gaze and as Beta turned toward a monitor, Nes saw the smallest smile distort Kappa’s mouth.

“ **Stargate command intends to attack,** ” he said calmly. “We need to contact Ba’al.”

Beta made the call while Kappa leaned against the wall observing quietly. He very well may have set her up to get rid of Alpha for him, though she wouldn’t have needed any encouragement after that morning in the garage. She’d have to keep her guard up with that one.

“Ba’al agrees we should let them see we weren’t bluffing. Best to have a show of force now and establish ourselves on this planet.” Beta jotted down some information while he spoke and then held it out to Kappa, who nodded and looked it over while the three of them prepared to have Kappa record another video to be sent.

Kappa sat himself in a chair comfortably, his body looking relaxed, which seemed so at odds with what he was about to say.

“ **You have chosen not to heed my warning and so have forced my hand. There is a bomb in the Halcyon Tower in downtown Seattle. It will detonate at exactly 1:30 p.m. local time. Call off your strike on my location, and I will diffuse the device.** ” He smirked, so confident in his leverage. “ **Defy me, and this will be just the first of many such demonstrations.** ”

The techs immediately began to work on sending it out and Nes pulled Beta to the side.

“Is that what Delta’s been working on?”

“Yes, it’s a new building and he had the idea to lace the entire structure with naquadah.”

Nes’ stomach dropped at the thought of that level of destruction. There was no way to evacuate all the people who would be in the blast area.

“You’re not upset, are you?” Beta was completely dismissive of the death they were about to cause.

Nes recovered quickly and gave him a scowl. “I simply wish I’d been informed so I could have sold my penthouse in Seattle.”

He chuckled at her. “Well, hopefully Stargate Command will comply with our demands and it won’t come to that.”

“And if they find a way to stop the explosion?”

“I doubt they’ll figure out any options in time. They’ll have under an hour by the time they receive the message.”

Nes had more first hand experience with SG-1’s ability to come up with quick solutions to problems, though, and inwardly crossed her fingers that they’d find a way to stop the destruction.

Even after the video was delivered, the NID forces that had surrounded the compound tightened their perimeter and they all knew it was time to leave. Leaving Beta to deal with having the goa’uld tech transported up to an al’kesh, Nes waited in the hall for Kappa to join her,then followed him downstairs where he ordered everyone to wipe all the hard drives and destroy the equipment.

“ **I want nothing left!** ”

Staff weapons suddenly interrupted them.

“ **The Jaffa,** ” Athena said with fear. “ **They’ve found us,** ”

“ **Time to go.** ” Kappa held out an arm and placed it on the small of Athena’s back. Nes could already see him establishing himself firmly where Alpha had been - the female host clearly enjoying any attention paid her.

“Where’s Beta?” Nes hadn’t seen him in the crowd making their way to the lower levels.

“I’m sure he’s around or beamed up already. Let’s go.”

Nes narrowed her eyes at Kappa’s flippancy, but had no choice but to go with him as he directed. A guard strapped a locator beacon onto her arm and she quickly found herself aboard an al’kesh. The goa’uld tech was on board as well, but Beta was nowhere to be seen.

She caught Kappa leaving the cargo hold and pulled him off to the side of the corridor. “Beta isn’t here.”

He gave her a cold stare. “No, I don’t think he’ll be joining us, but I suggest  _ you  _ keep quiet if you’d like  _ me _ to do the same.”

Nes paused in shock, but instincts quickly shifted her face into a small smirk. “My dear Kappa...thank you.”

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “For being by your side today?”

She leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Of course.”

She’d need to be especially careful with Kappa from now on. He’d treated her with kindness, gained her trust through comforting her, but he wanted power and would use her in whatever ways he needed to gain it. That much was now obvious.

Nes, Athena, and Kappa were beamed down to Ba’al’s house where he greeted them with anger at how the day had gone, especially the loss of Beta. He clearly had a special attachment to his first clones and was agitated at having to do without them now.

It was difficult to be patient in hearing the news, but relief washed over her as she learned that SG-1 had, in fact, managed to save Seattle by beaming the entire naquadah-infused building into orbit before it exploded. It really had been quite a brilliant and daring plan and she said as much, ignoring the look of annoyance from Ba’al.

The loss of the compound itself was annoying, but Epsilon had already been searching for various other facilities and it wouldn’t take long before they were up and running again.

The next day would be a full one, with relocating and getting Kappa set up as they took over Hammel officially. They’d move on to the next acquisition shortly, as well. Nes lingered for a bit with the others, but wanted to get back to her own house - and Alpha, who’d been alone all day. With Beta now gone, she’d need to modify her plans for the first clone, but she wasn’t sure he was going to be quite as open to suggestion as Beta might have been.

Ba’al offered to drive her home, but she could see he was tired and convinced him instead to head to bed early to prep for the next day. He’d conceded rather easily, which both relieved and disappointed her.

Nes tried to make her request gently. “Ba’al,” she said and then waited for him to give his full attention. “I would feel much better after today’s events having access to my ship...just to be able to beam away if there’s ever any danger. You know I like being self reliant whenever possible.”

Ba’al nodded after a few moments and took her hand to guide her down the hall towards his rooms. She held back and he smiled before releasing her and going through the door alone. He returned with her bracelet and put it onto the wrist Nes held out and she kissed him in thanks.

“Don’t go running off now, my dear.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. I have far too many reasons to stay.”

She made sure to kiss him well as she waited for her cab to arrive, hoping he’d leave Athena on her own for the night, but she really had no control if she wasn’t willing to stay with him herself. Athena seemed to be giving the majority of her attention to Kappa when she’d last seen them in the living room, though.

“Have you confirmed that Beta was captured?” Nes traced his embroidered symbol on his polo, amused at the attention to detail paid to his clothing even here on Earth.

“Yes, he was already executed before the Jaffa High Council.”

She breathed out slowly, surprised by her own reaction to his death, as she thought through her time with him and the plans she’d had. “Then he has done his duty of protecting you. We will not have to worry about the jaffa interfering for a while now.” She shouldn’t shy away from the next obvious question. It would be suspicious. “And Alpha?”

“Nothing. He just...vanished.” His frustration was apparent.

She touched Ba’al’s cheek and was bothered by the sympathy she felt for him after such a day. She wasn’t sure if it was Sekhmet’s admiration for him or Tessa’s human instinct to comfort those in despair. Perhaps both, but regardless of its source, it was dangerous. She was at least sure of that.

His eyebrow went up at her reassurances, but, always looking to take advantage of every situation, he shifted to grief before burying his face in her neck. “Stay with me tonight.”

Nes’ stomach flipped and she had to take a moment to remember who and what he really was. This was feigned emotion, not anything like what real humans felt, and she tried to grasp at some formality with him. “I was quite clear on my stipulations for that, my lord.”

“Yes...I suppose you were.” Still, he didn’t release her. “Stay with me anyway.”

“Not tonight. It’s been a long day. I’m tired. You’re tired.”

“I can certainly find the energy.”

Nes chuckled lightly. “I’m sure you can, but I’d rather have you...at your finest.”

Her cab honked out in the drive and she pulled out of his reluctant arms, but he  _ did _ let her go and she breathed a sigh of relief once she was safely in the car. He wasn’t going to let her escape like that for much longer.

And she wasn’t entirely certain she wanted him to anymore.


	25. Chapter 25

Nes brought Alpha food and water again and, again, he accepted them, still holding onto his arrogance and anger, though that began to diminish rather quickly as she began. She went on until he began to beg for respite or death, and then paused to get herself a glass of wine.

When she returned, his eyes pleaded with her. “End this.”

“No more begging for your life?”

“You will never release me.” He spat some blood onto the floor in resignation.

“I hadn’t planned to, but I’m afraid Kappa did away with Beta today, which alters my plans.”

“Kappa?”

“Yes, you seem to have underestimated him considerably. He’s rather pleased at your disappearance and he made sure Beta was captured by the jaffa today.” She took a sip of wine. “Beta has already been executed.”

Alpha’s anger was apparent, but there was also a shift in his body that Nes guessed was a resumption of his strategizing with her. He looked up at her as she sat watching and gave her a small smile. “So now you’ll have to make do with me.”

“Perhaps. We’ll see how  _ willing _ you are.”

The smile turned to a seductive smirk. “Oh, I’m sure I will be quite willing.”

“Oh?” Nes stood and approached him. “Even for a bit of an...experiment?”

Alpha narrowed his eyes. “What kind of experiment?”

Nes smiled and let a finger glide down his jaw. “I’m curious what you would be like...as a She’ket.”

He pulled his head back in disgust. “I would rather die.”

“Are you quite sure about that?” She held his eyes as he glared at her. “I can certainly arrange it, but I thought you would be able to see the power we could have if you joined me.”

“There is no power to gain as a She’ket.”

“On the contrary, my dear, I have become even more powerful since melding with my host. I am trusted by all. The Goa’uld believe I am too weak to be a threat. The Tau’ri believe I am this host. The Tok’ra believe I can be used towards their ends.”

Nes knew she was appealing to Alpha’s desires. He could have power, wealth, information, and it was too tempting, especially when contrasted with his only other available option.

She kissed his neck and whispered in his ear. “You would be trusted by everyone as well. The two of us would be able to live however we please...together.”

Offering herself was the final piece. He’d made it clear that his need for her would drive him to do any number of foolish things.

“How do you know I won’t simply kill you once I’ve melded and you’ve released me?”

“Well, that’s precisely why I had planned to ask Beta to do this for me, but after seeing you endure my torture over the last few days, you’re clearly strong enough to be a match for me. I was beginning to want you much more than Beta anyway.” Very few males could resist being told they were wanted, especially by a woman they were so drawn to.

Alpha stared at her for a few moments, his breathing slow and regular.

“Would you like some time to think it over?”

“I won’t heal anymore.”

“I can use the healing device on you, but you’d be able to return to Ba’al’s service and use the sarcophagus then as well.”

“He’ll just kill me as a She’ket.”

“I’m not sure why he would even need to know if you continue to use the masking drug. Unless he does routine testing on all of you to make sure you still carry a symbiote.”

More silence and Nes began to get nervous, both that he wouldn’t do it or that he would. She should have just killed him and been done with it, but her curiosity had won out.

Alpha swallowed hard, but finally nodded. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Nes felt her heart speed up, but she worked to keep herself calm. “I’ll heal some of your wounds now, but you’ll want to rest. The pain is quite intense, more than any I could inflict on you.”

Alpha straightened. “Release me then.”

“No...I don’t think so. You’ll stay there until I’m satisfied of your condition.”

Nes grabbed the hand device she always kept nearby with torture and began to heal some of his more severe wounds, keeping her eyes from his as he watched her.

“And how will you explain my absence to Ba’al?”

Nes gave him a sinister smile. “ _ You _ will explain. You can tell him you were captured, as he suspects, or perhaps you simply found a woman whose arms you couldn’t bring yourself to leave. Whatever you think he’ll believe.”

He leaned forward with a suggestive look, but she left him to rest, though he tried his best to convince her that her own bed would serve that purpose better for him. She had to remind him that he had already made it very clear that he wouldn’t rest at all if she allowed that. The smirk he gave her as she walked out of the room did manage to flip her stomach, though, and she inwardly cursed him for sharing a face with Ba’al.

Nes lay awake for a long time, questioning motives and morality of what she was about to do. She finally drifted off, but woke up feeling heavy and slightly nauseous. She needed it to be over, needed the waiting and the wondering to be done.

First off, Nes beamed aboard her tel’tak and checked for any monitoring or tracking devices. It wasn’t a guarantee that she was free from any spying, but there wasn’t much else she could do for the time being. She made phone calls and got everything set up at the estate in Torrelavega. The grounds were large enough that no screams would be heard by neighbors and she needed open space and fresh air to get through this.

Alpha was awake and looking better than he had in days. His own anxiety was apparent, though.

“I’m going to check in with Ba’al this morning and then make some excuses so I can return.” She stroked his face gently. “And then I’ll be able to give you my full attention for a while.”

His eyes were bouncing around between anger, disgust, hope, lust, and fear and Nes had to remind herself over and over that she had planned to kill him, to kill them both. This was a kindness, a better option.

She found Ba’al at his house, pacing in annoyance at the disruptions from yesterday.

“Kappa is handling Hammel today, though, right?”

“Yes, but the loss of both Alpha and Beta was a blow. Gamma is helping Theta step in with The Trust, but it will still take some time for him to get situated.”

Nes needed to get Ba’al calmed down so she could leave again. “They are quite capable. I doubt anyone will even notice the change. They are  _ you _ after all and you are exceptionally talented.”

He smiled at her flattery, too arrogant to ever suspect it wasn’t completely genuine or had motives beyond bolstering his ego. Nes allowed him to kiss her for a few minutes, but then answered the well-timed and well-planned phone call from her designer. She was able to make her side of the conversation sound more urgent than reality, and from there, informed Ba’al that she would be indisposed the rest of the day. She needed to deal with a few issues that had arisen with the remodel, as well as sort out a few affairs left from her days offworld. His own day busy, he released her without much beyond simple annoyance.

Nes had debated back and forth over  _ when _ to move Alpha, but finally decided to drug him and make the transition before the change, something he was not pleased with as she explained and approached him with the needle. Once he was unconscious, she undid the chains and beamed him aboard her ship and then back down to the house in Spain. This time, she strapped him down to a bed, wondering if she should have set up monitors to at least watch his heart rate. She really would have preferred having him in the infirmary at the SGC, but that was certainly out of the question.

She paced the room as she waited for the sedation to wear off, stopping at the window occasionally to take a few deep breaths with the tranquil view. She should have used less of the drug. This was taking too long.

She took in his sleeping form again.

There was still time to kill him instead.

Alpha began to stir then, waking slowly, and Nes let Sekhmet calm her and restore her focus. As he finally opened his eyes and took in his surroundings, he started struggling against the restraints in frustration.

“Where are we?” He tried twisting all around to look at the fairly simple room.

“One of my houses. I thought we’d be more  _ comfortable _ here.”

He strained to move his limbs again. “Your accommodations are a bit too tight for my taste.”

Nes chuckled at him, but came forward to pat his cheek. “I will loosen them afterwards.”

Alpha’s face moved to revulsion as she forced him to remember his task. “Afterwards. Of course.” He took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “Now then?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Best to just get it over with, I suppose.” He looked to Nes, who nodded in agreement. “I expect to be amply rewarded for all of this, Sekhmet.”

Nes smiled as she took a seat in an armchair she’d pulled closer to the bed. “Of course. I look forward to it more than you know.”

With that, Alpha closed his eyes and she watched as his face became more strained and the pain began to tighten all of his muscles. He was in agony, but trying to keep silent for as long as possible.

_ Fire and needles and knives and broken bones. _

Nes hated it. She hated seeing her own experiences from the outside and finally a scream poured out of his mouth that filled her own body as well.

Alpha was killing himself and didn’t even realize it.


End file.
